I think I lost a few IQ points writing this.
Edward stared hard at Envy, watching how he ate. Something about the way he did always bugged him. He couldn't help it. Every time he saw Envy eating, it just made him want to cross the room and slap his boyfriend hard enough to get rid of the stupidity. He couldn't take it anymore.
"Why do you that?" he asked. Envy looked over at him and raised his brows, faking a confused look.
"Do what?" he asked, tone telling Edward he knew exactly what he was doing was driving Edward up the wall.
"That." Edward pointed at the small piece of chocolate melting between Envy's fingertips.
"What? Eat sweets?" Envy smirked as Edward narrowed his eyes. "I like chocolate. Is it that much of a crime?"
"Noo." Edward dragged his hands down his face and sighed. Envy loved how his attitude was affecting Edward. "I mean, can't you eat like a normal person?"
"No, because I'm not a normal person," Envy said. "I'm a homunculus."
"Yes, I know that!" Edward growled. "But why do you have to eat chocolate like that?"
"Like what?"
"You break off a piece of the bar and then take dainty bites like you're some little girl!"
"...Are saying I eat like a girl, Edward Elric?" Envy asked.
"Yes!" Edward exclaimed. Envy started laughing before popping the half-melted piece into his mouth and licked the chocolate off his fingers slowly, smirking at Edward as his tongue ran over the digit. "Don't do that to me, Envy."
Envy smirked and broke off another piece of the bar, biting it in half, hearing Edward scream.
"Dammit, Envy, put it in your mouth, chew, swallow, and eat like a normal person!"
Envy had to put the sweets down to wipe away the tears from his laughing fit. Edward glared at him.
"What's so funny?"
"Well, I was thinking..." Envy broke off another piece of the chocolate and bit it in half. "These things are perfect for someone of your size." He bent down in front of Edward and kissed him, pushing his tongue between the alchemist's lips. Edward moaned and wrapped his arms around Envy's neck. He could taste the chocolate the homunculus had been driving him crazy with.
After a few moments, Envy pulled away with a satisfied smirk.
"Well, I'm going to take a shower; feel free to join me."
Edward blushed and then shook his head.
"Did he just call me small?"