Complete crack!fic crossing over Harry Potter and Doctor Who. Not sure where it's going exactly. Have fun. :)
The TARDIS was not happy with the Doctor, not one bit. She loved the Doctor with all her heart (and her heart was one powerful entity), but the Doctor had taken to traveling with that blonde woman, River Song. The TARDIS liked River at the start, when she first learned to steer her. She did it properly. The TARDIS did love the Doctor, but River was so much more conscientious of trivial matters such as parking breaks, and the TARDIS fully appreciated being steered properly. For once.
Once the TARDIS realized, though, that the Doctor and River's relationship was a bit beyond mere friendship, she was heartbroken. She loved the Doctor, but she was no longer able to express it. She longed to regain human form, if only for a minute so she could explain to the Doctor how she felt, but she couldn't, and the Doctor was completely oblivious to her lugubriousness and any attempts she made at insurrection. Her heartbreak made her beligerent, and over and over again, she took to purposefully sending the Doctor and River to dangerous situation in the hope that River would get killed by an angry space alien and the Doctor would come back to the TARDIS, heartbroken and looking for consolation. The Doctor might die, but he'd just regenerate and it would be the two of them again. Anything, just so he would notice her again! The TARDIS was desperate.
But alas, every dangerous scenario that the Doctor and River were thrust into, they solved the danger and were praised and immortalized by the planetary residents. To make matters worse, after each danger, the Doctor and River seemed to become very, very friendly in the main control room. The nerve of them! The more perilous the danger, the friendlier they seemed to be with one another.
The TARDIS wouldn't have it. So she decided to end it all and create a paradox-a paradox that even the Doctor couldn't handle!
Barty Crouch Jr. was an unhappy man. His father was a cold and cruel man for the sake of goodness and righteousness and Barty himself was blamed for being recruited by the evil forces of the dark Lord Voldemort. Where did he go wrong? He was just a man for Merlin's sake! He couldn't be blamed for each and every fault of his. And the Dark Lord did have some pretty convincing arguments, what with the whole 'Join me or die'.
So Barty kept on living his life, trying to do the best he could with the little he had. The only family that had ever been kind to him, his mother, was dead, and now the Dark Lord had a plan for him. Barty was to regain control of his family's oldest possession, the Hogwarts Express. He needed to do this. With the Hogwarts Express in his control, Lord Voldemort could gain control of Hogwarts itself, and the Muggle railways! It didn't take him long. Within a few short months he had all of the train staff skillfully imperiused, and he posed as the main conductor. As he started the train journey from London, he surveyed his surroundings. He was quite proud of how far he'd got in only a few months. He pulled his old pocket watch out of his waistcoat. It was a funny old thing, not quite real, it seemed. And it had strange markings. It was broken, he knew, but he wasn't quite sure how he knew. He never opened it; the latch was stuck, but it never seemed of much importance. It was just a thing. Barty Crouch Jr. thought everything was quite normal and going perfectly well.
That is, until a big blue box materialized not five inches from his nose, and a man with ridiculous floppy hair, a bow tie and a fez, opened the door and popped his head out.
No, this was not what either had expected.
End of chapter 1. Thank you, lovelies. Read and review.