AN: Howdy. We're all still trying to make sense of the events of Chapter 81, so let's cope by writing tons of FanFiction about it.

Spoilers for Chapter 81...duh

In the same breath, they make love and joke about their deaths. What a reality in which they live, where pleasure and blood coincide so perfectly. Two madmen, pressed closely to each other, naked, imagining their bodies broken and bloodied and laughing about it.

"Do me a favor," Levi says.

"Hmm?" Erwin wonders.

"Think of this night when you die. Think of us, me - nude, whispering your name. Think of this night and how badly we wanted each other, and of many others like it."

"Why?"

"Maybe you won't die flaccid."

"You're a poet and a scholar."

"And a killer," Levi adds.

"And a killer," Erwin agrees, kissing his forehead. "What will you think of?"

Levi grins.

"The sanitized version," his commander warns.

"Your arms."

"Arm," Erwin reminds him.

"Yes, arm. Either way, your arms - or arm - make me feel..."

"Safe?"

"In control," Levi specifies. "Maybe, when I'm dying, I'll forget that I'm dying."

"Doubt it," Erwin snorts.

"You're ruining my poetry, shit-face."

"Will you also not be dying flaccid, Captain Levi?"

"Pervert."

"You brought it up first."

"But I'm your subordinate," Levi explains. "We can fantasize about you, but not the other way around."

"We?"

"Oh, yeah," the younger man confirms, nipping at Erwin's earlobe. "You're still sharp, commander. I'm not the only one who's imagined you undressing. Well, in other ways, I am - the only one who's acted."

"It was mutual; don't give yourself all the credit."

They joke and make love, make love and joke, laugh about their deaths, nearly die of laughter imagining a world where death is funny.

Suddenly, it's not funny.

Levi watched it all, Erwin going down, deep red staining his uniform, having that image at the forefront of his mind as he took down the Beast Titan bit by bit. This bastard deserves no less. He killed their dream. Regardless, Levi keeps his promises, and even as the hairy shit-eater is carried away, Levi won't let him win. He rushes to where Erwin fell with fierce intention, like they agreed. Don't let them win, no matter the cost. He clutches the syringe in his hand as he runs, thinking an apology.

Forgive me, Erwin. I just can't do this without you.

Yay? Nay?