Too Much of a Good Thing
- Waxie

Spoilers: none
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Not mine so don't sue.
Status: complete

Crunch.

Crunch, crunch, crunch.

Swallow.

Too much of a good thing is a bad thing. That's what Yugi had told him last week when he put too much detergent in the washing machine. Yami slowly chewed his cereal as he contemplated this cryptic message further. To be honest, he liked soap. It was a wonderful thing. Soap came in all forms and fragrances. There were the bars he used in the shower, the liquid dish soap he used for the dishes, and the powder he used for washing clothes. Soap smelled good, he liked mint soap for his showers, lemony-fresh for the dishes, and mountain breeze for the clothing. Yugi went as far as to say he had an infatuation with soap, which wasn't true at all. It was more of an admiration. To think, inside a relatively medium sized box, rested a fine white powder packed with cleaning abilities. Grass stains, grape juice stains, wine stains, ketchup, dirt, oil, what couldn't soap do! Imagine if soap could do that people. Soap could lift away the dirt from people's minds, the evil that rested in their very souls…hell, instead of mind crushing people, he'd just force feed them some Cheer (he liked the idea of a happy wash). Suddenly a thought of feeding Seto soap crossed his mind… Yami was simply amazed by the magic powder.

Crunch.

Crunch, crunch, crunch.

Swallow.

But he digressed. The fact of the matter remained that he valued soap as a 'good thing.' Hence, when Yugi allowed him to do the wash, he had added more than was necessary.

Too much of a good thing was a bad thing.

He had been thinking about this for a while now. Wasn't that generalizing things too much? Using too much soap had taught him that an excessive amount of soap was a bad thing, but not all good things in general. Let's see, there were many things he considered 'good,' like the shower. It was rain, except inside. And you could control its properties: hot and cold, a soft stream of water or a hard one, you could even control how long it lasted. But too much of indoor rain was bad, too. The water bill had been at an all time high that month and Grandpa Motou had grounded him. Now that had been interesting. He had never been grounded before, and therefore obviously didn't know the rules of that particular game.

He rested his head lazily on his left hand.

Love. That was a good thing, right? You could never have enough love…unless the other didn't love you back. Good thing he didn't have that problem. He loved his high priest to bits and his high priest loved him back.

Honesty. Now there IS such a thing as too much honesty. Ever told high-and-mighty CEO Seto Kaiba he was working too hard?

Money. Yes, there was a point to where even someone could have too much money. Unless he was your lover and spent his money frivolously to please his smaller lover, and his name was Seto Kaiba… Touché.

But he was straying off the subject at hand.

Yes, he admitted eating too much cereal was probably a bad thing, but what if it was well justified?

Definitely something to ponder over.

Crunch.

Crunch…crunch, crunch.

Swallow.

Today had started off well. It was Saturday, for one, and instead of having to get up before the sun due to incessant loud and annoying alarms, he had lethargically left sleep, and his bed, when he saw fit. Saturdays was what he lived for. He'd wake up late, eat breakfast, watch cartoons, take a long bath, and then take a nap. Then he'd eat lunch, perfect his dueling strategies, visit Seto, duel him, win, then have poor-baby-you-lost-here-let-me-make-it-up-to-you sex. Then he'd go back home take another long nap. He'd wake up, Yugi would come home from study sessions with Anzu (study session…riiiiight, like he hadn't heard that one before), eat dinner, then go to bed completely pooped. In a nutshell, Saturdays were to die for. Currently, he was in his second event out of sixteen…and it was taking longer than usual.

Crunch.

Crunch…crunch, crunch.

Swallow.

He had craved cereal today. Grandpa Motou had brought some home yesterday and there was a certain blue box that had caught his eye. If there was one thing he had (besides his hot body, alluring and exotic eyes, attention-grabbing, gravity-defying hair, sexy smirk, and not to mention his mad talent with a certain deck of cards currently residing in his pocket), he had quite the sweet tooth. He had planned to help himself to a generous serving of Frosted Flakes first thing this morning.

Crunch.

Crunch…crunch…crunch.

Swallow.

But now, how many bowls had he eaten? Why was he still eating? He looked back at the box and suddenly remembered his reasons. There was a prize. Somewhere inside that large economy size box was the fugitive prize, and damn it all, he wanted it. He began chewing with a newfound vigor. So what if his stomach hurt, threatening to put a stop to his folly? Sticking his hand into the box looking for the prize hadn't worked; eating it until it came out was the next best thing.

Crunch…

Crunch…crunch…crunch.

A long, difficult swallow.

He placed his spoon down and stared contemplatively at the cereal box. The cereal had promised him a reward for his toil, but so far, all he had gotten was cereal. He glared at the smiling orange tiger with black-stripes. He couldn't eat anymore. He felt sick. Sick, sick, sick. He glared at the box, Tony was laughing at him, teasing him, taunting him…. He couldn't give up now, he'd gotten half way through the box, surely he could take care of the rest? He looked down at his cereal and suddenly his stomach lurched. He made a run for the bathroom.

At the same time, Yugi came home.

"Yami? I'm home!" He came into the house, and looked around. The television was on mute, captions decorating the bottom of the screen. Watching Herbal Essences on mute was…interesting to say the least. It was barely 11 am and his stomach gave off a low growl. He walked into the dining room and saw the abandoned Frosted Flakes, and quickly poured himself a bowl.

"Aibou?" Yami asked, confused from the doorway. Yugi looked up and smiled at Yami.

"Hi. I'm home early, I know. Anzu wasn't home. It was rather silly of me to forget, she had told me yesterday at school…Yami, are you okay?"

Yami hadn't moved from the doorway, but instead held up a shaky finger towards him. Yugi followed Yami's gaze down to his cereal.

"Hey, look at that!"

Right on top of the cereal, lying innocently, was the prize: a duel monster's card placed inside a thin clear plastic. The morning sunshine coming in through the window curiously focused on Yugi's cereal, making everything seem much more dramatic as the duel monster's card was bathed in a natural spotlight.

And on that note, Yami's duel against Frosted Flakes ended.

Cereal: 1 Yami: 0