"Everyone has beliefs. Whether it's beliefs in religion, superstition, aliens…or anything else. Some people's lives revolve around their beliefs. Some people believe in things so strongly that they would even go to war for them, hence any of the Revolutions in history. But what if one of the things you believed in most strongly, turned out to be a lie?"
Fi.
Meet me in outer space.
I shivered. Marco saw this and gave me his jacket. I didn't have any personal items. The other had scrounged up what they could for me.
We could spend a night, watching the Earth come up.
"Whose boom box?" I asked.
"Rachel's," Marco answered.
"Incubus. Stellar. Cool."
This had become a habit. Every night we sat around the fire, put on some music, and looked up at the stars. Sometimes we talked, sometimes we didn't. Usually it was just the seven of us – Marco, Cassie, Jack, Tobias, Rachel, Ax, and me. But it was an open invitation, so whoever wanted to join us could.
Tobias and Ax sat there in their human morphs. They figured that it would be more enjoyable that way.
"You know what's funny?" Marco asked. "It's about eight o'clock. Right now I would probably be sitting in front of the TV trying to figure out some pointless biology or something."
"Same here," I said.
"I would be doing the same thing I'm doing now, minus the fire, the music, and the friends." Tobias.
"I would probably be playing video games," Jake laughed. He seemed to be doing a little bit better. Not like he used to be, but a little bit better is better then nothing.
I had also changed. I wasn't talkative like I used to be. I rarely spoke. Except to Marco. But no one could really notice because they hadn't know me before everything happened.
Before I became an Animorph.
The Incubus song ended. A Molly Phillips song came on in its place. Marco jumped up and turned off the boom box. Then he sat back down next to me. "The sky sure is pretty tonight."
The fire cackled.
"Whoa! Did you see that?" Tobias pointed up to the sky. "A shooting star!"
I looked up and saw it right as it left the sky. We all sat silently as we made our wishes. Kind of stupid, really. But sometimes wishes can come true.
Marco broke the silence. "You know, this is awesome just sitting around here with friends. Some of us with our significant others." He shot a look to Jake, who was holding Cassie's hand. Then one to Rachel, who rested her head on Tobias' shoulder. "We could just let it go right now, not have to worry."
I was glad to see Jack and Cassie holding hands. So he was feeling better.
"What's that?" Tobias asked, pointing up to the sky again. There was a small bright object that looked like it was headed out way.
"Maybe a UFO," Marco commented. That got a few giggles. "Hey guys. This time let's remember to say, 'No'."
The others watched the light race across the sky.
Wait. This light was familiar. Something was wrong.
"Everybody run!" I screamed. "We have to get inside our huts!"
"Why?" Rachel asked.
"Will of the Wisp!" I didn't think they believed they had to go hide. I mean, why should they? None of them really knew me, much less knew what I was talking about. I just barged into their lives, and now I was making demands.
I turned around for a split second to see the others running behind me. But I noticed something they didn't.
The light hit Tobias in the back. Tobias tumbled to the ground.
Rachel stopped. "Hey, guys. Wait up."
I stopped and ran back to Tobias. "Get out of him, you creep! Leave him alone! Don't take Tobias!"
Marco grabbed me before I reached Tobias. "Hey, it's okay. Nothing's got Tobias. It's okay. Right, Tobias?"
"Yeah, just not used to human legs, that's all." Rachel and Jake helped him up.
"See? Everything's okay, Fi. Come on. I think it's time to go to sleep. Let's go. We could all use some rest."
I didn't have my own hut. The others took turns letting me stay in theirs. I was sort of glad the Hork Bajir hadn't made a hut for me. I didn't want to be all by myself.
Today I got to stay with Cassie.
"Cassie, uh…Fi will be right there. I need to talk to her for a second," Marco said.
Cassie looked at Marco, then at me. I nodded. She nodded back and walked away.
Soon it was just Marco and I. We sat down.
"Are you okay?" He looked at me right in my eyes.
"Yeah. Just a little bit of past that's haunting me. A light like that took over my brother a long time ago. I almost lost him." I probably sounded crazy.
"I'm not just talking about that. I mean, with everything that's been going on. You're really quiet, and you just don't seem to act like you feel like you're a part of us."
"How do you know I'm usually not quiet?"
"Just a guess."
"Well, I just don't really feel like I fit in. I feel like an outsider. And it's kind of hard to explain, but nothing here really connects to me."
"What do you mean?"
I sighed. "I don't have any personal items, and well, it's like I lost myself."
"Come on. I want to show you something." He led me into his hut. His mom and dad were out having dinner with the Hork Bajir.
"Have a set." He motioned toward a couch made out of wood. It was covered with a blanket. "Close your eyes."
"What?"
"It's a surprise," he explained simply. So I did. A few moments later he said, "You can open your eyes now."
I opened my eyes to find what looked like a new guitar in front of me. It was an acoustic Takamine. Marco stood behind it. He held it out to me. I took it, speechless.
"Do you like it?"
"How did you know?" I asked, smiling.
"I read it in an article once, that your whole family played the guitar."
"I love it! Where – How did you get this?"
"Oh, just a little help from my Chee friends. You know how you said you felt like you lost yourself? Maybe this can help."
"Thank you so much!" I jumped up and hugged him. At first he seemed a little shocked and surprised.
He hugged me back. "No problem. I'm just glad to see you smiling."
"You don't know how much this means to me." I sat down and pressed the strings down with fingers on my left hand. It felt wonderful. I strummed. The strings vibrated, giving me a warm feeling inside.
Cassie walked in the room. "Fi, are – wow. Where did you get that?"
I shot Marco a look. "Oh, it's just a personal something. Sorry. I'm coming right now. I know your parents are probably waiting."
"I'll hang on to the guitar for you," Marco said.
I stood up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks. For everything."
Then I followed Cassie back to her hut. They had an extra bed set up for me in the front room.
"Thank you," I told Cassie.
"You're welcome." She hesitated, "Um…look. What happened back there? You sort of scared a couple of us."
"I'm really sorry. It's – well, it's a long story. But it's just my head playing tricks on me, I think."
Cassie looked at me. "Okay. But remember, if you ever need to talk, I'm here."
"Thanks."
She started to walk away, but then she turned back around. "This might be the wrong time, but I have a favor to ask of you. You don't have to if you don't want to. I was just wondering if maybe you could talk to Jake. Not now, but just sometime. He's been doing a little better, but he's not himself. You can both see where the other is coming from. It might help both of you."
"Thank you, Cassie. I will."
Rachel.
I woke up early purposely, just to check and make sure Tobias was okay. He was acting a little weird before he left to go with his mom. I thought that Fi had probably freaked him out a little or something.
"Hey," I said to a red-tailed hawk sitting in a branch of a tree.
Good morning. Wow, you're up early. He spoke in a Scottish accent.
I laughed and mocked his accent, "Yes, I am, Mr. Hawk. Why are you talking like that?"
He was quiet for a few seconds and then said in his regular voice, Sorry. Just kidding. Why are you up so early?
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You seemed a little embarrassed, or freaked out even, last night. Are you okay?"
Aye. I'm quite well, thank you.
Okay… "Um…alright. You sure?"
Yes. Can you please leave? I need to catch some breakfast.
It wasn't like Tobias to tell me to leave like that. I dismissed it nonetheless and walked away. I would confront him again later.
I decided to go back to my hut and wait for everyone to wake up.
I took the scenic way back, walking through the trees, watching the Hork Bajir gather their breakfast.
I heard what sounded like someone playing the guitar. It was faint.
The sound grew louder as I followed it. I walked quietly, not knowing what to expect. I prayed that it wasn't a camper. I didn't want to be on any alerts or anything.
What I found surprised me even more than a camper would.
It was Fi and Marco. Fi was the one playing the guitar.
"Hey guys," I said. They both jumped and turned around.
"Oh, hi Rachel." Fi put down the guitar and stood up. "You sure are up early."
"Yeah, Tobias said the same thing. You guys are up early too. Where'd that guitar come from? I don't remember any of us bringing one here."
Marco answered, "Um, right. But, yeah. Is Tobias okay?"
"I think so. But, Marco? Can you excuse me and Fi for a second please?"
"Sure. You're really good, Fi. Maybe later you can play some more for me?"
"Sure," Fi said. "Thanks Marco."
He turned around and walked away. I waited until he was out of hearing range to speak. "Dude, I don't know what you're doing to Marco."
"What do you mean?"
"He's never acted like this before."
"Oh, yeah." Fi smiled softly.
"But, um…anyway. Remember yesterday, when you went all psycho on us? You started screaming about a Will or something?"
"Will of the Wisp. It's this legend about these evil spirits that take over people's bodies."
"Like Yeerks?"
"Sort of. Minus the Kandrona. They first take on the form of a ball of light. I don't know – it's just an old Scottish legend."
I paled. "Scottish?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Oh, it's nothing. Just a weird coincidence. This morning Tobias was acting all weird and talking to me in a Scottish accent."
My blood went cold when the words left my mouth.
Fi saw me freeze. I said, "But you said it's just a legend...right?"
"It happened to my brother. We have to find Tobias."
I hesitated for one second, and then took off running back to our camp. I screamed Tobias' name with all of the air in my lungs. Where was he? Fi ran close behind.
All of a sudden everything stopped. It was as if time itself froze. Fi was frozen in mid-run. The wind, the breeze, everything was frozen. The only sound was silence. Everything looked green, almost like I was looking through night vision goggles.
There was a rustle in the still branches. A red-tailed hawk landed in front of me.
It began morphing to human.
After a few moments I was staring at Tobias.
"Are you looking for me?" He spoke with a Scottish accent once again.
"What's going on, Tobias?" I demanded.
"Oh, Rachel. You really should listen to Fi a lot more."
"Will of the Wisp," I whispered.
"Correct! But you don't know how to get rid of me, do you? Well, I'll tell you – just for fun. You have to say my one true name." He laughed. "But you don't know it, do you?"
"I'll kill you."
"Go ahead. Try. You have to kill your little boyfriend Tobias though."
I swallowed hard.
He continued, "That's right, Rachel. Like a Yeerk. I can read all of Tobias' memories. In fact, I have to if I'm going to be him. Watch this." He turned on what looked like a TV screen, right there in front of us. I saw myself, through Tobias' eyes, walking on a stage. I walked right past him, then stopped and looked at him, wide-eyed.
"Hi, Rachel," both the TV Tobias and the other Tobias said at exactly the same time.
"Stop. I'll kill you. I swear I will."
He giggled. "You are a fierce one. You know, Tobias loves you, Rachel. More than you will ever know. He would to anything for you. He would die for you, Rachel. Wait – there's just one thing he won't do for you."
The TV screen came on again, and I saw another one of Tobias' memories.
I looked like I was going to cry. I stood close to him and said, "But you've got to realize that there's more. I'm not just a warrior. I'm a girl. I'm trying not to let myself be dragged off the cliff, away from all normalcy, into this insane life we live. I don't like what it does to me, Tobias, and I need to be a girl again. I need a little bit of normalcy, okay? Not a lot, but some." I took a step back. "All the things we're supposed to live while we're in school, Tobias, you know, dances like this, nights out at the movies, walks on the beach. That stuff is passing us by. I want those things. We deserve them. And if you were human…"
"Yeah. If I were human. If." Tobias repeated.
The TV screen turned off. I felt a lump in the back of my throat.
"Wow, Rachel. Some of us didn't know you had tear ducts - until recently."
"Why are you doing this?" I screamed.
"I want a body. I'm tired of floating around in the sky. I can be Tobias. No one will ever know. In fact, if it wasn't for Fi, you wouldn't know either." He sighed. "She sure is a bother. But I have a deal for you, Rachel. You convince Fi that nothing is wrong. And I keep Tobias in human morph for more than two hours."
"No. He doesn't want that."
"Only because of Elfangor. He's dead. Come on, Rachel. Both you and I know that it's what you want. Tobias knows that too. It's a question that's been bugging him for a long time now. I can make a decision for him. Tobias, your Tobias, could be a human."
"No. He doesn't want to be out of the fight. Not yet." My teeth were clenched.
"Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. Why must you make this so difficult? Don't you want moments like this more often?"
The screen flashed on.
"Just dance with me, Tobias. Please." The song "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls started. Tobias put his arms around my waist. I wrapped mine around his neck. Time stopped, and we danced.
"Stop!" I screamed. I leapt on Tobias, my knees pinning his arms so he couldn't get up. "Get out of him."
"No."
"Get the hell out of him!" I held Tobias' shoulders and slammed him to the ground.
"No."
I slammed him down again.
Tobias said calmly, "I'm not going to let him go."
I wrapped my hand around his neck. "Get out of him."
"You wouldn't hurt Tobias. Oh, well. I guess we're going to have to bring Fi in this after all." He snapped his fingers. Fi was suddenly awakened.
She looked around for a moment, and then back to Tobias. "You."
"Yes, me. You have quite a reputation in the spirit world. Destroying one of my brothers and all."
"Not destroyed, just saved."
Tobias unexpectedly kicked his legs and threw me off of him. He stood up and brushed himself off. "I don't know how you found out his name. But you aren't going to find out mine."
"Oh, really?"
"Now, Fi. Rachel wouldn't cooperate with my deal. Will you?"
Fi looked at me. "What are you talking about?" she asked Tobias.
"Well think about it. What does Rachel want more than anything?" Fi stayed silent. He continued, "She wants her bird-boy of course. She wants him to be human. That way they can spend the rest of their lives together. Tick, tock, Rachel."
At that moment he spun around and kissed me. I pushed him off and clipped his ankle, causing him to fall to the ground.
If it were any other guy I would have finished him off. I might have killed him.
But it wasn't any other guy.
Tobias looked unaffected. "Okay, so you haven't gotten used to me yet. But you will. Teach me, Rachel. Teach me how to be Tobias."
Fi spoke before I could do anything. "What do you want?"
"I want this body. And I want you two to keep quiet about it. Rachel would have told you about me, but now – you know. You would have found some way to find out my name. But now you won't, with my deal."
"What deal?"
He smiled. "I know the truth about your father. And I can take you to him."
Fi stood there, motionless. "What are you talking about? What truth?"
Tobias looked disappointed. "You didn't think your father was really in an accident, do you?"
"What's he talking about, Fi?" I asked.
She answered me but didn't take her eyes off of Tobias. "My dad died in an accident when I was little."
"Ah…but that's what you think," Tobias said. "He never died."
"No. He did. There was a funeral. And he's contacted me a couple of times."
"Illusions. Distractions. Lies. Just perfectly set up plans by us in the Spirit World. Would you like to see him?"
"You're lying. He's dead."
"Okay. I'll show him to you. Free of charge. So you'll believe me." He snapped his fingers once again.
In front of Fi was a man in his late thirties. He had brown hair, like Fi, and he wore sunglasses. "Where am I?" he demanded. He stopped when he saw Fi. His head turned slightly, but then it went back into its place. He took off his sunglasses. "You appear to be my host's daughter."
Tears fell down Fi's face. "Daddy…you're, alive? You're a Yeerk?"
Tobias answered. "No. Not exactly. He's one of my family. You see, all of the members of the Council of Thirteen are one of us. We're not dependent on Kandrona rays. We're the ideal Yeerks. Oh, yes. I almost forgot to mention something. We're in league with Crayak. After all, how else would Mr. Phillips be here?"
The man suddenly vanished. "Daddy!" Fi shouted. But he was gone.
"Alright, Fi. You don't try to find out my name, and maybe I'll let you see your Dad again. You do anything, and Daddy's gone. And you, Rachel. If you try anything, your bird-boy here gets it. Tick, tock, Rachel. I'll tell you what. If you behave, I'll even make sure that Tobias doesn't become a nothlit again."
He snapped his fingers and he forest around me awoke. Tobias was gone. Fi and I stood there alone.
I wasn't going to let anyone take Tobias. Ever. I would save him. No matter what it took. I was going to save him.
"What do we do?" I asked Fi.
"You guys have a computer, right?"
I nodded. "Marco has one."
"We need to find Marco."
Fi.
I told Rachel that she had to keep her distance from me. If Tobias saw us together, he would suspect something.
My dad? Alive?
Marco was walking back to our camp. It was still early, but the others were all awake.
"Hey, Fi. Rachel didn't give you crap, did she?"
"No. Nothing like that. You're pretty good at hacking, right?"
"Well I don't like to brag –"
"Good. I need to use your computer. Please." I interrupted.
"Sure." He led me into his hut. I waved to his dad as I walked past him to Marco's room.
My dad? Alive?
I would tell Marco. After all, he had the same experience. Just not now. Later.
"Is there anything I can do?" he asked. He was so sweet.
"Um…yes. Yes, actually. Can you help me write a program?"
"What kind of program?"
I explained the program that Jack had once made so that he would always win at my Hangman puzzles.
It only took us an hour to write. I typed in the information and the name Culirag popped up. I printed it out.
My dad? Alive?
"And what is this for, that you so desperately need it now?"
"I'll explain later," I said. "Believe me, I will. Thank you."
I grabbed the piece of paper and started to run out the door.
Tobias was standing right there. "What are you doing?" he asked me.
I handed him the paper. His eyes grew wide as he read it. "Fool! You will never find your dad without my help!" Tobias fell to the ground as the light burst out of him.
Marco came running over. "What the – Tobias, are you okay?" Tobias nodded, coughing. Marco looked at me. "Okay, now I think you should explain what's going on."
And I would. Soon.
I will find my dad, I thought silently. I will save my dad. And no one is going to stop me. I promise, Daddy.