Post ep for Cops and Robbers.
For Valen. Happy Birthday my dear friend. I love you and hope you have a beautiful day. :)
The tips of his fingers have gone numb from nursing his cold drink, the semi-melted ice long since diluted the sting of alcohol. After Alexis retired to her room, his mother had brought out the harder liquor. Said something about feeling the burn of life.
All he feels is the burn of heartache.
He's sitting on the couch, trying to peel his eyes off of the woman giggling with his mother in the kitchen over a glass of red. Kate opted to keep her wine, already is two glasses in.
He loves seeing her so free. Loves knowing that she's comfortable enough in his home and with his family to let herself go.
She's all long legs and loose limbs, open laughter and flirtation. She's been teasing and baiting him all night. His mother has been enjoying the show, but Castle knows what's really going on, why Kate's letting herself open up when they've been trying to keep a lid on how they feel.
"Hey," she says sitting down beside him, hair in loose, wild waves around her face. She'd let the clip out and the remaining strands cascade down her shoulders. She kicks her heels off and curls her legs up on the couch beside him.
"Hey. You havin' fun over there?" he smiles, taking a sip of his drink, but then immediately regrets it.
"Yeah, your mom was telling me a story of when she was on Broadway. She's amazing, Castle."
"Don't I know it."
She takes another sip of wine and his eyes are drawn to her plush lips, extra pink from where her teeth keep sinking into them. He wants to reach out, touch his lips with hers with a desperation he hasn't felt since she woke up in the hospital. He almost died and she saved his life.
Again.
And he could see it in her eyes, that desire to throw caution to the wind and give into what she really wanted. Kate wants him. And it's taking every ounce of control he possesses not to lean in and lay his lips against her sweet ones, comb his fingers through her wild hair, and feel her heartbeat against his chest.
His heart is aching for her, every beat feels like it's trying to break free of his chest, and find its way to hers. And it hurts.
Loving her hurts.
"She was telling me about the time she played a 'Sinatra Concert' for an after party."
"Ahh, yes. I remember. I was shipped off to the neighbors, but I could still hear her playing the piano and singing for all the couples."
"And then you snuck over and thought I wouldn't notice," his mother interjects, sitting down on the opposite side of him.
"Come on, you had slipped in a Lennon song, how could I not?" he laughs and he finds Kate beaming along with him.
His chest contracts, his hands sliding closer to hers on the couch. In the back of his mind he wonders if his mother sees.
Kate's not looking down, is leaning forward to ask his mother a question, but she switches the wine glass to her right hand, her left coming to rest face up on the couch.
It's so high school, but the skin of his palm itches to slide against hers, kiss the veins that meander there, and entwine their fingers together.
Is it too much to ask for this agonizing wait to be over? He wishes for the love that comes from the playful touching and not this paralyzing uncertainty. He wishes they could skip this limbo and dive into the great unknown together.
He wishes for their happily ever after.
"Oh, my favorite Sinatra song to sing?" his mother repeats Kate's question and taps her fingers to her lips. "Hmmm. What's the one?"
Kate laughs at his mother's vague question.
"It goes like-" She proceeds to hum the tune, moves her hand in a wavy motion through the air to indicate the melody of the song. Castle's not paying attention though because he can feel the tip of Kate's pinkie against his palm.
He tries to keep his breathing under control, but soon she's got half her hand in his, her skin so soft as it brushes against him. He faces his mother, who's rising from the couch, but Kate has other ideas.
The entirety of her palm kisses his and his heart explodes in stardust at the contact.
Castle holds his breath and shuts his eyes when his mother sits at the piano. When she turns her back he lets his eyes travel to Kate. He's never seen her blush so hard before.
Her entire face is pink. She's looking down at her lap, using the wine glass to shield her nervous grin from him.
Adorable.
"Ahh of course, it's Fly Me to the Moon," he hears his mother answer in the background. But he pays her no mind.
He squeezes Kate's hand back, moves his body closer to hers on the couch until his thigh melts into her warm one. Castle wants to tuck her hair behind her ear but fears it may be too much for her to handle right now, but Kate continues to surprise him when she lifts her head, her eyes boring into his and her smile never wavering.
Her mouth opens, drawing his attention back to her lips, to speak, but no words come. Instead she swallows and leans her body forward; he can see her grip on the wine glass tighten.
She wants this just as bad as he does, and the thought is comforting. It's reassuring to know he's not the only one waiting for something.
"Richard," his mother calls before Kate can reach him. "Do you remember this song? Oh! I use to sing it all the time."
"How could I forget? You managed to perform it at junior prom." He doesn't let his gaze waver from Kate's, and she keeps hers on him too.
"Castle," she whispers almost imperceptibly and he nods in approval. He feels it too, that this thing between them, that whatever is holding them back isn't so strong here in this moment. And maybe, if they were alone, she'd drop her walls and let him in.
His mother sings the tune on the piano, and beckons him to come and join her.
"I know you know how to play it. I taught you the chords remember?"
He sighs and watches as Kate does too. His mother is two for two today.
Unhooking his hand from hers feels like ripping the skin off his body.
"I do remember the chords, mother," he says, rising from the couch. His mother continues to sing while he plays the song on the piano.
"Kate, darling, come join us!"
"Oh, Martha. I'm afraid I can't play." She's grinning when she walks over to lean against the piano, setting her wine glass down on top.
"No, sing, darling. Richard tells me you have an amazing voice."
Kate blushes even harder, and he's never seen such a beautiful sight so many times in one day. If she keeps taking his breath away like this, he isn't going to survive the evening.
"Our life together is so precious together,
We have grown - we have grown."
Damn. Her voice is even sexier when she's loose, not feeling as self-conscious as other times she's sung in front of him. This is one of his favorite John Lennon songs and the way she sings it makes him fall in love with it all over again.
"Although our love is still special,
Let's take our chance and fly away somewhere alone."
"I'm afraid," Kate begins, suddenly looking nervous. "That's all I know of the song."
He tries to mask his disappointment, but from the look she gives him she sees right through the facade.
"I'm just… more of a Sinatra fan. But I do like other classics."
"That's okay. I've got a good one I bet you'll love," his mother chimes in. She begins playing a song he's not familiar with, but from the way Beckett beams she must love it. It's slow enough to dance to so Castle reaches out his hand as he stands from the piano stool.
Kate panics for a moment, lips parting in surprise, until she swallows and slides her palm into his.
"Sing it in English dear," his mother smiles.
He leads her behind his mother so she won't feel watched, but he can tell from her stiff posture that she's nervous. He doesn't want her to be, so he grips her hand and twirls her around before pulling her into his chest. Kate laughs, shaking her head at him.
And then she starts to sing, managing to completely take his breath away at her beauty, her grace. He's mesmerized.
"Hold me close and hold me fast
This magic spell you cast
This is la vie en rose."
Castle can tell she's more accustomed to the French version from the way she sings it, her accent so prominent and precise that she could actually be singing in French and he would still be under her spell.
The song is somewhat playful; he remembers hearing it once or twice when he was younger but can't remember where.
He adds an extra skip in his steps while she sings, his arms around her waist tightening.
"When you kiss me heaven sighs
And though I close my eyes
I see la vie en rose."
He holds her eyes as they rock back and forth. He can see how difficult she's finding it, but she glances at him during the next verse, conjuring up images of a stolen kiss too long ago, only reminding him of how desperately he wants to repeat it.
"When you press me to your heart
I'm in a world apart
A world where roses bloom."
He twirls her, her hair fanning out like a dress, the scent of cherries wafting up to his nose. She giggles on "bloom" and tries to glare at him for making her mess up the high notes. But her arms come back and wrap around his neck, bringing their faces closer.
Without her heels, she's a head shorter than him, and he loves it. It gives him uninhibited access to her eyes, her face. He loves the mole lying just under her left lid, the touch of yellow in her irises. It's rare, these opportunities to see her so close, so open, and it makes him feel closer to her, makes him wonder what the hell is stopping them from crossing this invisible line.
Castle leans his head down so his lips can caress her ear, his breath ghosting out across the skin there. "I like you like this," he whispers. He feels her breath hitch, her voice stuttering. She looks up at him as she continues to sing, voice getting softer now as she tries to trap the tentative smile that's begging to be set free.
"And when you speak, angels sing from above.
Everyday words seem to turn into love songs."
The song ends and she stops singing, her gaze still holding strong with his own. Eventually, their sway slows to a stop, but their hold on each other stays tight, as if each of them are afraid to let go, to break this spell her voice cast over them.
"Well, with that, I'm off to bed," his mother announces. "Katherine, you have a lovely voice. So sweet," she says, wrapping her arms around Kate's shoulders, unbinding their hold on each other.
Kate hugs her back and says goodnight, then his mother pulls him aside when she hugs him to whisper in his ear.
"You better kiss that girl."
He chuckles. "I plan on it."
His mother smiles before waving goodbye. "Don't stay up too late kids!"
And then, there were two.