It's like crying, except it isn't.
See, SeeDs have this rule—one that slots in nicely with all the other rules about this sort of thing—you don't cry, no matter what. Because once you start, other people get going.
People don't become mercenaries for fun. All of them have lost something on the way.
Despair is consuming and easy and it's best not to start. SeeDs don't cry.
Therefore, she's not crying. Maybe her eyes are raining or bleeding or something, but she's not crying.
Dirt stains her knees black and she runs her hands over their names and she remembers them, she knows them. Knew them?
Something that sounds like a sob springs from her mouth, except she's not crying. SeeDs don't cry. She doesn't cry. Rinoa? Rinoa's allowed to cry, because she's not a SeeD. But Selphie's not allowed to cry. Not even sitting in the flinders of her home, not even when she looks at the tombstones of her three best friends.
The world blurs and maybe she's going insane, but she's not crying. She shakes and sounds like sobs escape but...
Selphie rests her forehead on the tombstone and whispers, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."