Ok, so this is new for me, at least. So, I've been inspired by LoverOfPiggies' CPAU comic to make a nice little collection of Sansy shorts. So, this is gonna be similar to the CPAU, but obviously with changes. I've read over my work too many times only to notice all too late that accidentally totally copied someone else's idea. So I shall try my best to avoid this! As will be obvious to anyone who is reading Pundertale (Another one of my UT fics, for those that don't know,) Grey and Grape are obviously gonna be involved. How could they not be? Either way, some of this will be my attempt at funny, some will be my attempt at feelsy, and some will just be pretty much crap, but what can ya do?
"hey! i was startin' to worry nobody'd show up!"
"Ha! Nope! It just took a little bit of time to find this place... You know... it is a cabin in the middle of the woods... hidden under a mountain... on an island... on a random planet... in a completely random empty timeline. But don't worry about it! We're here now!"
"yup. i gotta say though... why the isolated location?"
"yeah! i mean, c'mon! this is ridiculous!"
"sorry, edge. but we needed some mystery! this is the first time we've been together since... y'know."
"yeah, i don't need any reminders of that. i mean... that's kinda a bad memory for me."
"heh. yeeeeeah. i guess that probably is. since you..."
"don't even mention it, sans."
"Ok, ok, ok, let's calm down this party train! This is, uh, not going the way we'd hoooped!"
"yeah, blue's right, you two. this isn't the place to talk about stuff like that! we're supposed to be having fun!"
"ok, geno, i gotcha. sorry, edge."
"... eh."
"Yaaay! This party is gonna be great! Right, guys? Right?"
"absolutely!"
"this is gonna be... an adventure."
"EXACTLY!"
Under! Sans and Geno! Sans sat on a semi-comfortable, semi-tacky couch, eating a not-at-all abandoned quiche.
"so, how are things goin' in AT?"
"... not good. when i last checked in, papyrus was confronting the other sans about how he was hiding things from him. if he keeps going the way he is... sans is gonna have a bad time."
"what's so bad about pap finding out?"
"... it's hard to explain to someone who isn't in the same situation. i mean... it's tough, buddy."
"i gotcha. i mean, i don't quite get it, but i'll stop askin'. i mean, i learned not to ask awkward questions from people with tragic backstories."
"good life lesson. either way... how's things in UT?"
"... heh. well, uh... it's all... great. i was meanin' to announce this later, with more people around, and i was kinda waitin' for grey... but i don't see why you shouldn't hear it first..."
"yes, sans? what is it?"
"we're free, geno. the kid did it. they did it, geno. we're free."
"... frisk? they... brought it down? the barrier?"
"that's right. y'know, if you'd asked me before... if you'd asked me if you could solve any problem just by being nice... i'd have told you no. that's impossible. it just doesn't work like that, y'know? but... now the answer is different. somehow, just by refusing to hurt anyone... they fixed... everything."
"wow. i would have never believed that they'd do it. i mean... heh. the kid has the right stuff. now you're makin' me feel bad for
my frisk, locked up in the damn game over screen. god."
Geno was actually beginning to tear up. Tiny streaks of liquid seeped out of the glitched areas around his right eye.
"h-hey, sorry geno... i didn't mean to... i mean, i know that..."
"don't worry about it, sans. sometimes things turn out good for some people and bad for others. that's just the way life works sometimes. i'm sure that eventually my timeline will end up the same way."
"it will, geno. i promise."
"you and i don't even live in the same universe! how could you promise me anything?"
"isn't your sans literally exactly the same as me?"
"... huh. you got a point."
Fell! Sans stepped into the kitchen, finding Swap! Sans preparing a pot of spaghetti on the stove.
"uh, blue?"
"Yes, Red?"
"sans already made food. you don't need to cook anything. this isn't even your party."
"I know that, silly! But all Sans knows how to cook are quiches! Sure, that's party food, but they don't even have egg in them! I'm just making something extra."
"damn it, blue, you need to get over yourself! you can't just assume that your cooking is better than sans'!"
"I'm not saying it's better! I'm just saying that... I'm not making quiches. Unlike Sans. I'm just putting some variety into the meal plan."
"... eh. your cooking is better than sans' anyway."
"... I know."
"but it's not as good as mine, pinprick! i'll show you how to make a bowl of spaghetti!"
Edge roughly pushed Blue out of the way, grabbed a box of noodles, and poured it into a pot. He summoned a gasterblaster and ordered it to fire at the pot before he even put water in it. In less than a second, the pot was allready half-melted. Edge proceeded to pour water in the pot, instantly boiling it. He threw it on the stove, put it on the highest temperature setting, and then tossed six tomatoes, completely intact, into the pot.
"You... remind me a lot of Alphys."
"alph- oh, yeah. your universe is fu- screwed up. either way! i'm gonna make the best spaghetti in history, you hear me? you can't even compare! i'll stomp your blueberry-flavored ass!"
"... I have a feeling you're talking this a bit too seriously. I was just making something for the others to munch on."
"and i am making something to show you up!"
"I... thought that I wasn't even worth competing with?"
"why is it even necessary to bring that up? i literally said that the very first time i met you. that was like, two years ago! i left home to get away from that kind of crap."
"Sorry, Edge! I was just joking. I don't mean to bring up any bad memories."
As Edge replied, he simultaneously picked up his pot of spaghetti and tomatoes, poured them into a strainer, slammed them with a bone, tearing up the strainer but also smashing the now softened tomatoes, and then telekinetically tossed all of it into various bowls.
"bad memories. ha! more like 'bad life.' it's like that every single day, blue. but don't worry about me. it's you that you've gotta worry about. more specifically, about your spaghetti, and how it's about to get STOMPED!"
"Oh, right!"
Edge punched the wall, causing a clove of garlic to fall off of it's perch atop a shelf and fall toward the ground. It never reached the floor, as the red-tinted Sans smashed it into thousands of tiny little pieces with a few bone hits, then moving the bowls around to catch the bits as they fell. He proceeded to kick a silverware drawer open, before kicking it again, sending forks and spoons flying everywhere. Edge grabbed a few before they hit the ground and violently thrust them into his bowls of spaghetti, finally slamming the four bowls down on a table. Meanwhile, Blue was calmly humming as he finished his own pot of spaghetti.
"you don't stand a chance, pinprick! i might not have a brother that cares about me, but i've got COOKING SKILLS! YEEEEEEEEEAHH!"
Blue sighed sadly, pulled his spaghetti off the stove, and turned off the eye. He was moving to pour the pot into a strainer when he suddenly stopped and turned toward Edge.
"No! Listen, Red. I don't know much about you. I don't know much about your universe. I don't even really know much about my universe. But there is one thing I know about. And that's Papyrus. Listen. He might not act like it, but inside that cold, hateful exterior... he really cares about you. As in, he really cares about you. He just has a... kinda weird way of showing it. But that's UnderFell for you! Not a pretty place."
"blue, i don't wanna hear this. i don't want to hear any of your crap. my brother... he hates me, ok? you gotta get over that and-"
"Edge, please! When we first met you, you tried to kill us! Grey wanted to kill you, Gaster didn't trust you, heck, Grape was hiding behind a tree the whole time! But when Error showed up... and you realized that your whole timeline was in danger... you didn't just sit around! You didn't want to admit it, but you cared about what happened! And, after a few hours, days, weeks, however long we were out there... you changed. Edge... Papyrus doesn't want to admit it, but he really cares about you. Maybe, with enough work, he can change too! Maybe he will admit it, eventually. Just like you."
"..."
Edge turned to his spaghetti, which, despite the slightly... insane methods he used to prepare it, looked pretty good, and sighed.
"dammit, blue. you need to stop looking at the bright side of things."
"Ha! You know that's never gonna happen."
"i know it and i hate it!"
"No you don't, Red! You just like being a little edgy sometimes, that's all!"
"now that's something i'll admit."