Professor Slys was thankful for both the bag over his head and his fearsome reputation. Despite the fact that he was an ancient incomprehensible being with apocalyptic powers, he was an absolute bundle of nerves, and the camera didn't help. So he stood menacingly in the background as his assistant did the talking, arms behind his back to hide his nervous fidgeting.
"Ladies, gentlemen, and abstract horrors, Dr. Black here to demonstrate Paper Plane Inc.'s newest device of destruction!" his assistant announced, producing a ray-gun type weapon from his lab coat. Dr. Black was a born salesman with an unending enthusiasm for death and destruction. Very fitting for an eldritch, though as a relatively young being he'd yet to manifest many abilities.
"A freeze-ray! With this modern twist on a classic device, you can freeze and thaw your enemies! Allow me to demonstrate" the scientist continued, looking off to the side expectantly. He grit his teeth and clenched his fists. "5.0.5.!" A man clad in a sky blue hoodie looked up from the beanbag he was sprawled over.
"Heya, Blackie. What'd you need?" the man asked, still groggy. Dr. Black's claws ruined yet another pair of gloves.
"Get over here! I have a weapon to test!" he hissed. 5.0.5. moved slowly into frame, yawning. Dr. Black waited until he was in the proper spot before turning back to the camera, regaining his best salesman grin.
"Observe," he said, firing the weapon. He let out an internal sigh of relief as ice formed instantly, encasing 5.0.5. and stopping just short of his head. The man attempted to move and whimpered when he found that he was totally immobilized.
"This isn't very comfortable," he whined, the creeping cold making him regret cutting the sleeves off of his signature bear hoodie.
"It isn't supposed to be, idiot!" Dr. Black snarled, flipping a switch on the freeze-ray to red. "Now, watch as it effortlessly thaws out our test subject." There was a click as he pressed down the trigger, then nothing. He tried again, and again, before desperately fiddling with the weapon.
"You haven't… you haven't been cutting c-corners again, have you?" Slys' stuttering voice caused Dr. Black to wince and turn to face him.
"Of course not-"a piece of the freeze-ray choose that moment to come loose and clatter onto the floor. Slys rubbed his face, paper bag crinkling with the movement.
"Cambot, cut!" he called out. The machine's recording lights turned off, and it skittered away into Slys' personal lab. Like every other invention he personally created, Cambot was for only Slys and his employees to use.
"Just a minor malfunction, boss. I assure you, it won't take any more than a day to fix," Dr. Black lied, crossing his fingers behind his back.
"A day?!" 5.0.5. squeaked, renewing his struggle for freedom.
"Th-the broadcast is today! We h-have a schedule f-for a reason," Slys snapped, wringing his hands.
"Perfection takes time," Dr. Black shrugged.
"I'm tired of y-your excuses!" Slys growled, holding up a clenched fist. The eldritch scientist backed away, putting his hands up in a pacifying manner. Professor Slys was usually relatively non-threatening, but the nervous man was a terrifying force when enraged or overwhelmed.
"Alright, I'll repair it right away!"
"You'd better!" Slys' eyes glowed malevolently. The two monsters cut their quarrel short as a cacophony of screeching noises came from the frozen 5.0.5.'s direction. A giant mutated chameleon had its tongue stuck fast to the ice.
"I told her not to!" 5.0.5. groaned. Dr. Black darted over to the mess, grabbing onto the lizard and pulling with his full strength.
"Demencia! You stupid lizard!" he grunted, wincing slightly at the hellish noises she was making. Slys only watched the incredible display of his employee's incompetency with growing stress building in his already frazzled brain.
"I think I'm getting frostbite," 5.0.5. mumbled, though he could feel his clothing become damp with the first signs of thawing. Dr. Black shot him a withering glare with his visible eye, the other hidden beneath the opaque glass on the left lens of his glasses.
"Oh, shut up you simpering little-"Demencia's tongue came loose, causing the two to crash into the far wall. Dr. Black had only just managed to push the heavy mutant off of him when a painting knocked askew by the impact fell directly onto his head, smashing his beloved hat like an accordion. He nobly resisted the urge to weep over the death of his latest hat, and instead focused his bubbling rage at Demencia.
"I will make you regret that I ever made you!" he snarled. Demencia gave him a cross-eyed stare, before dragging her tongue up the side of his face. She gave him the lizard equivalent of a grin before scuttling up the wall and out of reach, leaving Dr. Black's face coated in a generous layer of sticky saliva.
"Disgusting! Get down here so I can kill you!" he shrieked, impotently shaking his fist as the lizard clambered across the ceiling.
"Get me outta here!" 5.0.5. wailed.
"You'd better not sleep! I'll saw off your horns and gut you with them!"
"I can't feel any part of me!"
"5.0.5.! Shut up-"
"ENOUGH!" Slys roared, hefting the frozen man over his head and hurling him at the doctor. Dr. Black narrowly dodged the projectile as it slammed into the wall, the ice splintering into pieces. He felt ice shards pepper his back as he shielded himself.
"I'm free!" he turned to see 5.0.5. lying face down and covered in crushed ice, holding his hand out with a thumbs-up. Dr. Black only groaned, and looked towards his boss. Slys was hunched over slightly, taking slow, deep breaths. He finally straightened up, and smoothed out his coat.
"Sorry about th-that," he muttered, though he seemed to be more sorry for damaging his own wall than anything. 5.0.5. sat up suddenly, shaking the icy debris off of him. He stood and ran towards the man, arms outstretched.
"Ah, my darling professor! You are already forgiven!" he gushed. Slys easily prevented the incoming embrace by using his foot to keep the amorous man at a distance.
"I don't forgive him," Dr. Black grumbled, low enough for Slys not to hear.
"Doctor! 5.0.5. will t-take care of this. Go complete the ray. Properly th-this time," his boss said, the last sentence teeming with unsaid threats.
"Of course sir," he responded, words filled with all the enthusiasm of a man walking to the gallows. The doctor collected the ray and the errant piece before leaving the room to retreat back to his lab. Demencia waited a moment before skittering after him.
"You want me to clean this up, huh? I'll go get the maid outfit!" 5.0.5. chirped, clapping his hands together in excitement.
"Absolutely not!"
(Copied over from my ao3. These were written a while ago so the characterization is not totally up to date)