Little Girl Innocence

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't been an angel. Or if I hadn't died. Kanoe-san told me before, that my role as an angel was to save the earth. And that as an angel I should be a good girl and follow what Daddy said. And I did follow what Kanoe-san told me to do, so I guess I must be a good girl, but I would have done what Daddy asked me to do anyway.

So I killed the sword man at the temple and brought back the shinken. I didn't really know what it was, then, I do now. Because Daddy always said that if he could have only one book in the world, it would be the bible, so I asked Kanoe-san for one.

I always liked whatever Daddy liked, and I liked this book, even if there were many parts I didn't understand. Most of the children in the book had fathers and mothers. Kanoe-san said that meant Daddies and Mommies. I used to have a mommy and a granny and a grandad, but ever since I died, I've only seen Daddy. Still, Daddy is all I need, right?

When I grew up, I wanted to be Daddy's bride, but I don't know if I should want that anymore. The book said that it was wrong to marry your father, and it's Daddy's book, so I guess it must be right. But it also says not to kill, but I've killed before, because Daddy told me to. So am I a good girl, or not?

I would do whatever Daddy said, anyway. Because whenever Daddy comes near me, my heart, below my chest, starts to flutter and sometimes I feel dizzy, but it's a nice feeling and I like it. I never used to feel like that before I died, too. Daddy makes me feel all warm inside, but sometimes it hurts when he touches me, and I don't know why. It hurt when the fire lady burnt me with her pretty fire too, but not that way. Sometimes when I watch Daddy talking to other people, I feel hurt inside, too. I asked Daddy why, but he only laughed and ruffled my hair.

Usually I like it when Daddy touches my hair like that, but I didn't like it then. So I asked Kanoe-san, but she only snorted and didn't answer too. Finally I asked Yuuto-san, even though I think he gets angry at me sometimes.

I like Yuuto-san. He's almost as nice to me as Daddy was, and he rescued me the last time when the fire lady hurt me with her pretty fire. I kind of wondered why Daddy wasn't there for me, that time.. So Yuuto-san looked sad again, and said that love sometimes hurt. I didn't know what love was either, so I asked him again. He looked really surprised, and then he smiled and said that I was really like his sister sometimes.

I didn't know that Yuuto-san had a sister, and I said so, and he said that she was far away in another place, and that he hadn't seen her for a long time. Then he looked sad again, and I said sorry. Then Daddy called for me, so I left.

Then when I saw him next, he gave me this little box of colorful things. I think they're candy, because they smell sweet and they look a little like the sweet things that Daddy and Mommy used to bring me before I fell ill. But ever since I died I haven't really eaten anything, and I told him that. I said that I usually slept in the big tank once a day, and that was all I did. But he told me to keep it anyway, so here I am looking at the box. But I think Satsuki-san didn't like the colorful things, because she asked her friend to snatch it away with iron ropes. But I got it back.

Satsuki-san never talked to me before. She was always talking to her friend, or to Yuuto-san or Kanoe-san. I wish I had a friend.. so maybe I'll tell that to Daddy sometime. Or Yuuto-san. But Yuuto-san never came back to see me after I told Daddy about the candies..