Gifts From the Heart
***Please, take the time to read my one-shot "Our Little Secret" Before reading this because this story did come out of the idea of that one-shot. If you do not, some parts may be slightly difficult to understand. You can check my Profile for the story***
Kowalski carefully wrapped his present for Julien with careful flippers. Slipping it under his table he walked out of his lab. He sat in his bunk, thinking. The same thing he always was thinking about now. Possible ways Skipper would react to how Kowalski felt for Julien. It was near Christmas! Secrets and possibly betrayal to his leader… betrayal to the lemur he loved…. He missed the days where the biggest problem was deciding what to get someone for Christmas. But… those days were over…
Julien quickly wrapped up Kowalski's present, and placed a bow on it. Smiling he put it under his throne, and then sat on the throne. He was thrilled that Christmas was coming. His first Christmas with Kowalski! But… of course… there was still the secret… Julien wished so very hard for the secret to just be out but… he had promised Kowalski he would wait for the right time… what happened to those days where the biggest problem was to pick out which present to open first. Julien sighed. Knowing those days were over.
…
Christmas.
The time of joy, and giving… all the zoo animals were overjoyed that Christmas was so close! All except… for two certain animals. Who were so deep in their thoughts that they couldn't enjoy the serenity and happiness of it all. Kowalski and Julien had been secretly meeting with one another for a long period of time now… and they had never told anyone. Nobody! Now both animals were feeling uncomfortable about the whole thing… and Kowalski just wanted to release the secret without having to lose Julien…
…
"And so, this is the Christmas gift shop." Alice said in an emotionless voice. "Remember kids, the thought is what counts, not how much money you spent on it"
Julien watched Alice read her lines with a stoic expression. Why wasn't she in the spirit? It's not like SHE had a secret that she had to hide in her life!
One kid raised her hand slowly. Alice nodded for her to speak and the little girl smiled. "What's the perfect gift for someone special?" She asked.
Alice flipped a page n a book, which probably was a word for word guide on how to answer the questions. "There is no perfect gift. It varies on the person you're giving it too. It all comes back to the thought. Sometimes, no matte what the risk, if you care enough to give someone something that you hold close to you, that person will see how much you care."
Julien listened closer.
"If there is something that you have always wanted, and you want to ask someone for it… if THEY really care about you, then they will get it for you."
"What does that have to do with what is the perfect Christmas gift? That just sounds kind of selfish" A boy said.
"No shouting out!" Alice growled.
Julien looked away. It was selfish to ask for a gift… but… what if the gift didn't cost any money at all. What if there was only one thing in the world that you wanted, and there was only one special person that could give it to you? Julien knew exactly what he wanted for Christmas….
…
Julien looked up at the stars, sitting next to Kowalski Julien feared that asking Kowalski to tell the secret would make him angry. Maybe he still wanted this peace for them. Maybe he didn't want to ever tell anyone.
"Julien, are you ok?" Kowalski asked, concerned.
The lemur sighed. He looked at Kowalski with a hesitant face. "Kowalski… I know… this is going to seem a little late but… I know what I want for Christmas…"
Kowalski thought about his present for the lemur for a moment and was a bit afraid that what he got the lemur wouldn't be good enough… he just wanted Julien to be happy…
"We've been keeping this secret for some time now and… it's going to be our first Christmas together and we can't be seen together!" Julien explained. "For Christmas… you don't have to get me anything Kowalski… I just want to be with you… without having to hide it…"
Kowalski thought for a moment. "But- But what if Skipper- You… You know what might happen…"
Julien smiled reassuringly. "Please Kowalski? I will stay with you. Even if Skipper forbids me from seeing you I will always love you. If he doesn't want us together we will go back to being like this. Secretly in love. Safe from the people that don't want us together. We have to take the risk."
Kowalski took Julien's paw. "Julien… I can't…"
Julien shook his head, "Please Kowalski. I know that it is horrible that I would ever beg you to get me something, ESPECIALLY the day before Christmas Eve, but I have wanted this for us ever since there has been an us!"
Kowalski's eyes trembled. Could he really do it? "I- I don't know…."
Julien put his head on Kowalski's shoulder and looked up into his eyes with a pleading face.
Kowalski slowly kissed Julien. "I'll think about it Julien… please… let me think about it…"
Julien gave a small smile, and hugged Kowalski passionately. "Think about it hard Kowalski"
Kowalski closed his eyes. What was he going to do?
…
The next afternoon Kowalski fiddled with his flippers. All he wanted was Julien to be happy! And now that meant telling everyone the secret! Kowalski knew the truth was that he was terrified of losing Julien. Should he really take the chance? It was all for Julien's happiness anyway….
"Kowalski!" Skipper said.
The options guy looked up.
"Kowalski? Why do you keep zoning out? It's Christmas! Be happy Soldier! … That's an order!"
Kowalski sighed and smiled weakly. "Sure Skipper. That's the perfect pep talk"
Skipper smiled, "Private and Rico are out helping with the decorations, want to go help them out?"
Kowalski nodded, "yeah, ok…"
The two penguins exited the HQ quickly, and as they reached the part of the zoo where Private and Rico were helping… Kowalski's heart dropped when he saw Julien decorating the tree not far away.
"Kowalski?" Skipper asked nervously.
"Oh" Kowalski realized his face had literally gone from a smile to a depressed face quickly. "I'm sorry Skipper, I'm just a bit out of it… that's all. It's Christmas Eve! A lot to get done…"
Skipper nodded as Kowalski went to put up some decorations. "That soldier works too hard sometimes…" He thought out loud.
"Skipper? Are you talking about Kowalski?" Private asked innocently.
Skipper nodded, "I've worried about him for a while now… but you know… he's a soldier! I can't just go around asking soldiers why their down!"
Private thought for a moment. "Can… I try?"
Skipper hesitated. But figured Private had a way with people's emotions and replied, "Sure, you can give it a go young Private"
Private's face brightened up, and he went to go catch up with Kowalski.
…
"Kowalski!" Julien smiled from behind the penguin.
"Oh! Julien… I… didn't expect to see you here…" Kowalski muttered.
"I LIVE here you silly penguin!" Julien said. "And… speaking of still calling you silly penguin instead of Kowalski…"
"Julien…" Kowalski stuttered. "I- We…. We kept this secret for so long…"
Julien's emotions dropped. "You- You still want to keep everything we have in the shadows?"
"Julien-" Kowalski started.
"You… don't love me enough to risk your position on your team for us?" Julien said.
"No Julien! It's not that at all! I'm keeping the secret because I want to be with you!" Kowalski exclaimed, just soft enough so that nobody around them could hear them clearly.
"We can never truly be together if we have to hide from everyone! I love you! And I don't want to hide it… it's been so long, yes, that's why we're ready for this!" Julien continued.
"Julien please, you don't understand-" Kowalski explained.
"I don't understand?" Julien said astonished. "I, wouldn't understand what I've been going through with you for this long period of time? Was I not there along side you? Do you not think I'm smart enough to get this!"
"No! Julien that's not what I meant!" Kowalski said horrified at his own words.
"But it's what you were thinking!" Julien exclaimed. A tear escaping him.
"Julien-!"
"No! Just… Just forget it!" Julien cried, "If you can't do this for us, then maybe there shouldn't BE an us!"
"No! Julien please!" Kowalski pleaded, but the lemur had already slipped away. Kowalski let out a frustrated cry. And held his head.
"Kowalski?" A voice asked hesitantly.
Kowalski turned and saw Private walking up to him. "Oh… Private… I- I didn't see you-"
"What's going on Kowalski? Why did Julien talk like you and him were… together?" Private asked.
Kowalski looked at his younger teammate, and couldn't bear to lie to him. "Me and Julien… we have been secretly… dating for a long time…"
Private widened his eyes.
"I… never told Skipper because… I was afraid…"
"That he would separate you two?" Private finished the sentence.
Kowalski looked at him surprised.
"I… kind of figured it… please… why was he so angry at you Kowalski?" Private interrogated.
Kowalski sighed. "He… wanted to tell everyone… but… I was too afraid…"
Private felt a pang of sympathy. "What are you going to do?"
Kowalski shrugged sadly. "I don't know… I mean… I know the right thing to do would be to tell Skipper but… I've been so stupid! What if Julien never forgives me for how much of a… a wimp I was…"
Private shook his head. "You're not a wimp Kowalski! You were just trying to protect your relationship! I look up to you Kowalski! You're everything I want to be when I'm older. And I know you can make the right decision now."
Kowalski didn't know what to say. Although what happened next… Kowalski didn't know if it was pride for having a brave little teammate like Private… or the happiness of knowing what to do next… or, just plain old Christmas Joy! But Kowalski took young Private in his arms and hugged the young penguin.
Private smiled sweetly, and watched Kowalski leave after the teammate hugged him. Private loved Christmas time.
…
Skipper flipped through his files. Wondering what had happened between Private and Kowalski, it was perfect timing when Kowalski came into the HQ.
"Skipper… I have to tell you something…" Kowalski said. Feeling braver then ever.
Skipper nodded slowly. Had Kowalski been upset because he didn't want to tell Skipper something he had too? Skipper felt terribly guilty for not asking what was wrong now.
"I… wasn't up all night in the lab on those days where I was a bit off during training sessions…"
Skipper thought for a moment. What else could have possibly made Kowalski so tired?
Kowalski lost his courage for a second, but slowly gained it back. "Those nights… I was in the park… with… a special person."
Skipper widened his eyes.
"Skipper… I know you will not be comfortable with this… but…" Kowalski paused. "Me and Julien have been in a relationship… for… a long time…"
"What?" Skipper exclaimed. "You… you and JULIEN?"
Kowalski nodded slowly, "I know… I know this s shocking but… but I really…"
Skipper took a moment to think about things more clearly and waited for Kowalski to continue.
"I… really love Julien. Everything about him. I never told you… because I thought I wouldn't have enough reasons to keep you from saying I was crazy but… now in the days closer to today I never realized…"
Skipper gazed soulfully at his lieutenant. His best friend… his brother. Well not literally… but they were such close friends they might as well have been brothers. "You really love him don't you?" Skipper said.
Kowalski nodded slowly. All the thoughts, and pieces of the puzzle of his life coming together.
"Kowalski… promise me you won't… rush into anything… if I let this go on… promise me everything will still relatively be the same."
:Yes Skipper. Yes, I promise, anything! I just want Julien and me to be happy together… are- are you saying… you'll be ok with this?"
Skipper let himself forget about paranoia for this moment. Let himself be compassionate for his closest friend who he knew would always be loyal to him. He knew that even after everything crazy, and at times stupid things that Skipper would do Kowalski would always be right at Skipper's side. And if Kowalski was willing to do that then how could Skipper not be at his side on the one thing Kowalski ever really asked Skipper about. "Of course Kowalski" Skipper smiled.
…
It was Christmas morning. Julien was curled up on the bouncy, mourning his aching heart. He knew he loved Kowalski… maybe he was just over reacting… he shouldn't have been so hard on Kowalski! Would the penguin ever forgive him? They could make up and everything would go back to normal. Pretending to not care about each other, and lovingly being together secretly in the night. Everything would be perfect again…
Julien slowly got up as Maurice called him. He knew he had to go to the Christmas tree. Kowalski would be there, he knew he could make it up to him there.
Maurice smiled at Julien knowingly.
Julien ignored the smile, figuring it was just Maurice being… Maurice. And him, Maurice, and Mort made their way over to the Christmas tree.
All the animals gathered there. Kowalski was standing a bit farther away from everyone else.
Julien slipped over to his side. "Kowalski?"
The penguin smiled. "Yes Julien?" He replied.
"I'm… I'm so sorry. I should have known you wouldn't want to give the secret up… I guess I really didn't understand everything… you were right…"
"I wouldn't necessarily say that…" Kowalski smiled.
Julien had a confused expression. "What do you mean?"
Suddenly, there was mistletoe above them. An elephants trunk was holding it up.
"Uhh… Burt? What are you-"
Kowalski put his flippers on Julien's waist and pulled him in for a kiss.
Julien fell into it and after about 3 seconds, Julien pulled away. Julien looked at Kowalski, completely lost. "Kowalski… everyone saw us…" He whispered.
"That, was kind of the point Ring-Tail" Skipper smiled.
Julien widened his eyes. He looked around.
Mort and Maurice smiled at him, and Private was next to Skipper with glistening joyful blue eyes. Rico had a small smile on his beak as well. Along with the other zoo animals who tried to be less excited, but were suckers for a little Christmas romance.
Julien looked at Kowalski with tears of Joy beginning to form. "Kowalski…"
"Everyone knows. Merry Christmas Julien. I love you." Kowalski smiled.
Julien let more tears slide down and hugged Kowalski. "Kowalski... I love you too! This was the best present you could have every gotten me!" Julien suddenly pulled away just enough to look at Kowalski. "Wait… I didn't give your present! I left it under my throne!"
Kowalski smiled. "Let's just say you being mine is the best gift you could have ever given me. A gift from right here." Kowalski put his flipper on his heart.
"A gift from the heart?" Julien asked sweetly.
:"Exactly." Kowalski replied.
'Awwwww" Marlene cooed.
Julien gave her a look with a smile.
The zoo animals celebrated possibly the happiest Christmas they had ever had.
And Julien and Kowalski spent their first Christmas, together. No secrets. No hidden meetings. And only, gifts from the heart.