Hi! This is my first HG fanfic. I'm trying to start on a new story and really working hard on this AU. Hope you enjoy it, please leave a review and I will get back to you!
"Get out now! Don't ever let me see you back here!" My now ex-boss, Mr Snow bellowed. I shuffled my feet to the back of the little convenience store to retrieve my bag and jacket, putting on a face of indifference when internally, I was panicking. This was the second time this month that I had been fired from another job. It would not be soon that the whole of District Twelve would know better than to employ me. How would I survive? I didn't have any money left except a measly ten dollars in my wallet.
I walked out of the convenience store, trudging lightly on the autumn leaves piling up on the pavements and breathing in the cool October air. I had been distracted, I knew it. Even though Mr Snow was a heartless and cruel boss, I know that I spent most of my time staring into space and arranging the items wrongly on the shelves. Ever since Prim was.. Prim was gone, I told myself harshly, I had been going about my life like a zombie, taking up work only because the alternative was to starve on the street because it was just me, and I had to live, for Prim.
I did things like this a lot, I literally lived for Prim. I went about my life for Prim, knowing that this was what she would have wanted. I have gone about my whole life for Prim ever since our father died in an accident and our mother wasted herself away in front of us till she ran away when I was sixteen.
I still remember the day she left us even though four years have elapsed since then. She looked dead at me in the eye and told me to get a job, to look after Prim and that she would be back. I cannot count the days that I spent waiting for her to return to us, to save us from this life of starvation, as I watched our money in the bank deplete away to nothing, although I never told Prim that.
Of course, she never did return and so, at sixteen, I went to work in order to make sure that Prim could continue her education. I dropped out of school and worked two jobs a week, barely had five hours of sleep every day for the past four years. For Prim, I told myself. Everything I did was for Prim, to help make her life better.
That was how I put Prim through High School. We were never discovered by social services or anything of the sort. Our family was just the kind to fall through the cracks of the state's welfare system. I never had the guts to ask for donations or even for a supply of food because I was too proud and refused to be reliant on others. I would rather have worked myself to death than be pitied. I suppose that my arrogance was my downfall because between spending money on food, bills, transport, and Prim's education, we didn't have any savings to get by.
So it was when Prim fell deathly ill with Pneumonia half a year ago, I did not have any means to save her. I did not have enough money to bring her to a proper doctor who could provide the medicine that she required, and the lack of nutrition that we both suffered from aggravated her condition from an otherwise treatable one, to one that was enough to snuff out her life.
It has become a habit nowadays, when I thought of Prim, that I didn't think of the disease that claimed her life. I avoided that part of her life. I thought instead of her life itself, which in a way, made things harder for me. She always had a bright smile on her face, especially with her long blonde hair and fair skin, she would have become a beautiful young woman. She fought hard though, even on the day she passed, I was there to hold her till she took her last breath. I felt so helpless and she knew. She must have been in pain but she never showed it.
That was my sister, my brave, kind, and compassionate sister. But life had the habit of taking away the things I treasured most, starting with my parents, then Gale whom I didn't even want to think about, and now… Prim. I literally had nothing to live for anymore but I still did, for Prim. That was the only way I retained my sanity, to continue like nothing had changed and still do it for Prim.
I was roused out of my stupor by little birds singing in the trees. Mockingjays. They were a breed of parrots not native to District 12 and could imitate a person's ability to talk, but learnt at a much faster pace. I looked around at my surroundings and my heart felt heavy again. I had subconsciously walked the route I always went the past few weeks, up a winding hill in the woods to stop at a clearing at the edge of a cliff where I could see the whole district down below. It was a quiet and secluded spot; I had always considered this to be a place of solace for me.
This was the first time I had been here in the day. Usually I came here after work when it was pitch black but still I came every two days. It was Prim's and my favourite spot and thus it seemed a fitting place to scatter her ashes when I borrowed enough money to cremate her. I even planted a patch of primroses at the edge of the cliff to cement her presence on the cliff.
Right now, I was here in the afternoon and for a moment, was stunned by the beauty of the place I had forgotten because I was so wrapped up in my own misery. Prim and I used to come here throughout the year and every autumn, we'd spend time piling up dead leaves and jumping into the piles and have a leaf fight. It was much like a snowball fight except with clumps of dead leaves which left us muddy and out of breath afterwards, leaf remnants clinging to our hair.
I sucked in a sharp breath when I realised the implications of Prim's absence. It meant that I would never have a chance to play leaf fight again, never have a chance to hear her wonderful, tinkling laugh and see the sparkle in her eyes.
It was too much for me to bear to think of all the memories pouring over me again so I sat down against a tall tree and willed my mind to go blank, focusing on nothing else but the view in front of me.
The mockingjays continued calling. If Prim were here, this was where she would have begged me to sing. "Sing, Katniss, oh please won't you sing for me", she pleaded. I could still hear her pleading to me and like all things Prim, I obliged. So I opened my mouth and the words tumbled out.
"Deep in the meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow.
Lay down your head and close your sleepy eyes
And when you awake the sun will rise"
I broke out into a sob and was unable to carry on. The last line of the song, "when you awake the sun will rise", but where was that sun for Prim? Where was the time that she would wake again? Singing the song had affected me more than it was supposed to. I hadn't sung in so long, not since the day she left, when I sang her this exact song. I hid my face in my knees and curled up into a ball, wishing to tear my heart right out of my chest so I wouldn't have to deal with losing her.
This was the first time I had broken down in the six months and when I started, the floodgates opened. I was an ugly sight when I cried, I heaved and huffed, I turned red and everything would just run down my face. But I didn't care about how I looked now, I could not see anything else except my sister's cold, lifeless face almost half a year ago.
When a hand gently touched my shoulder and said, "Miss, are you alright?"
I immediately buried my face even further into my knees and willed the person to leave. I didn't usually get snuck up on, I usually did the sneaking and I hated being caught unawares. It was bad enough that I was crying in public, much less to let someone see me. I was already poor, I did not need anybody to see how weak I was too. I nodded my head, unable to stop the heaving, wishing for the person to go away. Why wouldn't anybody leave me alone?!
"Here, take this," the voice said.
Something soft landed in my hands and then I heard footsteps trudging away. When I could no longer hear anything, I peeked up and saw a packet of tissue in my hand. I wiped my face and nose, head bowed, and was just about to stand up and run back to my apartment like a shamed dog when without knowing, a pair of feet appeared in my line of sight.
The person crouched down and I instinctively looked up into the deep, ocean blue eyes of Peeta Mellark, the son of the multi-million dollar bakery franchise owner, Benjamin Mellark.
"Katniss?" He asked, surprised.
I panicked. How could he possibly know me? We were of the same age yes, but I had only seen him a few times in school before I was forced to drop out due to the lack of money to send both Prim and myself to school. The thing about District 12 was that there was only one High School and so, in a way, everyone knew one another.
But we all stuck to our own cliques, and since I had the friendliness of a wild beast, I stuck with nobody and was usually was two years older than I was and so we had different schedules. I only met him after class. Sometimes I was with Madge, one of the more well to do girls who sometimes sat with me and made small talk for reasons I never knew why.
Peeta on the other hand, came from a totally different world from mine. He had it all; the luxuries that life could afford, expensive clothes; a car; a huge mansion of a house; the friends that came with it and a band of adoring girls who all wanted to be the next Mrs Mellark and have a piece of the family fortune.
His two older brothers, Sam and Leo also lived similar lives because everyone knew the Mellarks and wanted to be with the Mellarks if they could not be the Mellarks. They lived on the opposite side of the District from myself and we rarely ever crossed paths. I once walked to their house, just to wonder how it would be like to live in such a huge place and live in comfort. However the thought that I would never be able to afford a life like that for Prim sickened me and so, I never went back to se the Mellark mansion ever again.
Being in front of Peeta Mellark gutted me, and I felt a wave of shame wash over me. I was a mess and fate would have it that the one person who had it all, had the life I always childishly wished for, would be the one to see the mess I was in. I hastened and made a move to stand and run away. It was humiliating enough to look the way I did but he held me down with a strong grip. I looked at his sinewy, muscular arms and then took in the sight of his broad shoulders, the way his shirt clung to his body, exposing the muscles which curved and protruded at different places.
"What's wrong, Katniss? I won't bite." He knelt down in front of me and produced a bottle of water from his coat pocket. "Here, drink this."
Bottled water? Whatever for? I could never afford to spend money on plain water. It seemed senseless to buy something I could get for free and so we always had tap water, which was common knowledge that it was not fit for drinking, but we didn't really have a choice. I, always had tap water, I corrected myself. When I merely stared at him warily, wondering what his intentions were, he gave a small smile that tugged at my heartstrings.
"I haven't poisoned the water, if that's what you're afraid of." He guided the bottle to my lips, his eyes never leaving mine and watched as I held the bottle then took the first sip, and continued to gulp down half the bottle in one go. I hadn't realised how thirsty I was and being able to drink clean water was really a luxury for me, especially now, since I had no income again. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. The sun had just started to set and it bathed him in a glow of orange light that made him seem like some sort of angelic feature.
"Do you feel better now?" He asked softly as I put the bottle down and capped it. His voice was filled with such care and concern, he sounded as sweet as honey. I had never thought I would use that description on someone, but that was how Peeta Mellark sounded like to me. I merely nodded, mutely, thinking about my hoarse voice as compared to the angel in front of me me.
Assured that I was not going to run off any more, he moved to sit down beside me, leaning against the same tree. I could feel his body heat radiating off him and I instinctively wanted to move closer. It had been so long since I was close to another person and Peeta radiated peace, warmth, and had a faint vanilla scent around him that made me feel at home. I forced myself to focus on the view of the District in front of me instead of the guy beside me.
"I've always loved sunsets", Peeta said, murmuring more to himself than he was to me, as more rays penetrated the sky. I looked at him abruptly but he was staring out into the distance, a look of wonderment across his face. In that moment, I felt that I wouldn't mind looking at that expression forever.
"I love the colours, the way they melt together in the sky to form a completely different new colour that I can't describe.. but it's magnificent." He turned my way and gave me a tiny smile that made my stomach do a backflip, then returned his gaze to the sunset, his blue eyes sparkling with the rich colours.
The sun had almost gone down completely now, and we sat in silence, watching the last rays fade away and twinkling lights from the district down below light up one after another.
After a long while, Peeta shifted awkwardly beside me and ventured another question. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head almost imperceptibly but he got the hint.
We sat in silence in the dark and I watched the stars peek out from behind the clouds till my stomach gave a grumble and I turned bright pink. Thank goodness it was dark and he could not see me. When was the last time I had something to eat? Yesterday, perhaps. I drank more water. I had learnt that water managed to cover up the hunger, even if for awhile.
"You're hungry?" The voice beside me piped up.
"It's" I began hoarsely, then cleared my throat. "It's not a big deal, it will go away soon." I said, feigning ignorance on how embarrassed and ashamed of the position I was in. I wasn't just hungry, I was starving. Come to think of it, I did not even remember a time when I didn't feel hungry anymore.
"No, let's go get something to eat." He moved to stand up and offered his hand out to me to get up. I merely shook my head stubbornly.
"It's fine, I'm fine, and you don't have to bother about me." I looked up at him, looked again into the blue eyes that could freeze me in my tracks if I were less careful. "You should be going now, it's late."
"And you're coming with me," he said resolutely.