A/N: This is a story that deals with angst, reluctance, family and of course, redemption. Contains JeTi, SNSD and some romance. Enjoy!
Jessica held her 5-year-old daughter's hand as she rang the doorbell. Tiffany answered the door with a cold stare toward her, yet had a welcoming smile for the little girl.
"Hey Tif-" Jessica's voice was purposely interrupted.
"Hey, Hyunnie! Did you miss mommy?" Tiffany hugged her daughter and walked her inside, not even bothering to invite Jessica in.
"Mmhmm." Seohyun smiled innocently, happy to be around her mother again.
"Umma!" The girl reached out her hand and called to the blonde still standing at the door. Jessica nervously looked at Tiffany for permission to come in. The latter nodded silently as Jessica gingerly set foot inside her previous home.
The home she once knew, the home she once slept in. Until a year ago.
"Hyun, go put away your things okay? Mommy and umma need some time." Tiffany ruffled the girl's and cupped her chin before pushing her off. The girl exchanged waves with Jessica as she scampered away.
The brunette's demeanor turned serious in an instant as she crossed her arms and kept her back to Jessica. She could hear Jessica follow her into the kitchen.
"Water?" A stern, hard tone.
"S-…Sure. Thanks."
Tiffany poured some in a glass and set it on the counter, not even handing it to her ex-wife. Jessica took soft steps and picked it up, taking a sip to wet her throat.
"So, Tiffany-"
"Do you have to stay here long? I'm sure you probably have some reason to go into the office on a Saturday…" Tiffany didn't even try to hide the venom in her voice as she went about cleaning the kitchen.
"I'm not working today. Actually, I wanted to talk-"
"Well, I don't. We've talked enough. You should…you should go, Jessica." Tiffany gripped the counters as she spoke, as if Jessica staying any longer would break her resolve.
"Tiffany. Please." Jessica pleaded with her ex-wife and stepped forward.
Tiffany's knuckles turned white for a second before releasing as she stuck her hand out to stop Jessica, turning to her side but not looking at the blonde.
"Just go."
*Flashback – One Year Ago*
"Jessica? When are you coming home?! It's already 7:00!" Tiffany was exasperated as a 4-year-old Seohyun cried for her umma over the phone.
"I'm sorry, Tiff. I need to finish a contract meeting with one of our European clients. I just…I'll probably be there at 9 or 10. I'm really sorry-"
"UMMA!" Jessica heard the girl yell from the background. It broke her heart in a way, but her boss was waiting for her.
"Jessica, please. Just…can't you let someone else do it? I…I need you right now." An exasperated Tiffany sighed solemnly as she begged Jessica to come home.
"Tiff…*Ms. Jung, the teleconference is in 5 minutes, please follow me after your call.*…yes, Mr. Kang." Jessica answered her boss before going back to Tiffany. As soon as her boss walked out, she returned.
"Tiffany, I-"
"UMMAAAAA!" The wail from the little girl caused Jessica's knees to go weak.
How she wished she could just drop everything and go home. How she wished…
"I know. Just…I know." The resignation in Tiffany's voice was somehow…different. It was hollow, as if she knew there was no point in begging Jessica further.
"Tiffany, I'll come home as soon as I can, okay? I'm so sorry, honey." Jessica was heartbroken at how the situation seemed at home, how Seohyun missed her and Tiffany needed her there to share the responsibility.
"Sure…okay. Just…" Tiffany sighed inaudibly, "…okay." She leaned on the wall to support her weight, the realization that Jessica wasn't coming home soon enough hitting her hard. She could barely think or feel anything right then.
"I'll…see you later, Ti-"
*CLICK*
Before Jessica could even say goodbye, Tiffany had hung up.
What was the point? Over the past year or so, Jessica had first come home an hour later. After a few months, it was two hours. After half a year, sometimes she would get home at 10 at night.
But at what cost to her marriage and family?
A promotion? More money?
Sure, maybe.
But was that really worth the loss of time spent with her family? More and more, that seemed to be the case with Jessica in Tiffany's mind. Jessica was always the serious, quiet type. Focused on her work and being successful, but always finding time for those close to her and those she loved.
Until recently, when her work dominated her life.
And sure, Tiffany tried to understand. Jessica was ambitious, she wanted to provide a good life for Tiffany and their daughter.
But what good is a big house and nice stuff, if you hardly have time to share it with your family?
At first, those were things that mattered to Tiffany as well. They were both professionals – Jessica working at a bank, and Tiffany working at a law firm. Demanding jobs, sure, but Tiffany was more than willing to forgo status and prestige for the sake of a happy family.
And apparently, she thought Jessica could do the same.
Tiffany was wrong.
Jessica was so exhausted from her job that all she ever did when she got home was sleep. On the weekends, when she wasn't working? Sleeping in or lazing on the couch and reading, too tired to go out and do much else.
What kind of marriage, what kind of relationship was that? What kind of family life was that to give Seohyun?
Tiffany had had enough. She was too tired of shouldering the household duties on her own. It was bad enough worrying about Seohyun and the babysitter when they were at work. But to basically be a single mother cooking, cleaning and watching Seohyun?
This wasn't the marriage she signed up for.
And it was not for a lack of discussing this with Jessica. Tiffany wanted Jessica to scale things back, to focus on family instead.
But no.
Jessica was adamant about rising up the ladder for a more comfortable life, as if the emotional connections would sort themselves afterward.
It never works that way.
Tiffany was too in love, too idealistic to deny Jessica her dreams and ambitions. In a way, she rationalized the hard times as a journey to a better future.
But after more than a year, it was only getting worse. When were they supposed to have the afternoon picnics on a sunny day, the family outings where you eat ice cream in a park together? The lazy Saturdays when you sit around watching a kid's movie just to hear Seohyun's giggles and laughter?
What happened to those moments?
Tiffany didn't know.
Even after another 2 hours, all she heard was Seohyun's intermittent crying about Jessica coming home. About missing her umma.
What was she supposed to say to that?
"Honey! Honey, please stop crying…" Tiffany tried to soothe her daughter as she lifted her up to carry her to her room.
"Mommy's here, sweetie. How about if mommy reads you a story before bed? You can even have some candied sweet potatoes as a treat." Tiffany practically tried to bribe her daughter to get her mind off Jessica.
"But I want umma to read story…" Seohyun's innocent plea almost sparked Tiffany's tears, though she held back the lump in her throat.
"I know, baby, I know. Umma has to work for a bit longer, she'll be home later." Tiffany explained as clearly and calmly as she could, placing Seohyun on the small bed in the room.
"Umma always work…" The oblivious, yet striking comment caused a quick tear to roll down Tiffany's cheek.
"I'll…I'll be right back, Hyunnie. I'll get you some milk." Tiffany rushed out of her daughter's room to hide her sobs.
She reached the kitchen and leaned over the sink, shutting her eyes tightly. Unfortunately, her tears still managed to escape.
Her breaths were shaky as her arms felt weak. She filled a cup, warmed the milk and carried it back to Seohyun.
She watched her daughter drink it before tucking her into bed. She watched the girl's eyelids flutter before they closed, before her breathing became steady. She watched her daughter sleep as she stroked her hair ever so gently.
Without her partner, without her wife, without her best friend and the other parent of her daughter.
Without Jessica.
Without the other half of her heart.
*END FLASHBACK*
"Tiffany, please. I just…can we please talk?" Jessica didn't want to leave. Tiffany kept her back turned.
"What are you going to say, Jessica?!" Tiffany sharply faced her ex-wife. "You turned a new leaf? You realize your mistake and it will never happen again?! WHAT?!" Tiffany's brow was creased as she became angry.
Jessica took a step back, her mouth slightly agape.
"No, I mean…well. I…" Jessica stuttered horribly, nervous that she might say something wrong.
"I miss you both so much…" Jessica's voice cracked.
"Whatever…" Tiffany raised a brow as she walked to the living room and leaned against the couch.
"Tiffany, wait! I just…I hate living like this. Seeing Hyun on the weekends, going home to an empty apartment…"
"You brought this upon yourself, Jessica! DON'T YOU GET IT?! The late nights, the missed dinners, the times Hyunnie called out for you and you DIDN'T COME HOME!"
Tiffany finally broke down and showed herself. Her red eyes, her stained face. The frown she wore whenever Jessica's presence became too much.
"Tiffany, I…"
"It's your fault, Jessica. You made the decision to work the extra hours. YOU made the decision to stay late…and for what? A ruined family…"
Jessica couldn't argue.
"You're right…I know you're right. I made the biggest mistake of my life back then, and I didn't even see it happening in front of my own eyes." Jessica walked forward, hoping to console the woman she once shared a bed with.
"DON'T. You don't f*cking get to be here, not after what you've done, what you've ignored! JUST GET THE F*CK OUT!"
Jessica dodged a pillow Tiffany threw at her. The sudden act signaled to her that it was really time to leave. Nothing productive would come from an argument when either woman was unstable.
Jessica opened her mouth, but thought better of it than to speak again.
"GO!"
Jessica turned around and opened the door.
"I quit my job at the bank, you know. Moved to government finance, more regular hours, stability. Tried to take a cooking class, "Jessica chuckled sadly, "failed miserably."
Tiffany looked at her with an incredulous eye, she readied another pillow…
"I'm trying, Tiff. I'm…trying." Jessica gripped the doorknob, looking back at a furious Tiffany.
"Get. Out." Through clenched teeth.
Jessica nodded and closed the door. Nothing else could be said that would make things better in that moment.
'Damn it…'
*FLASHBACK*
"GET OUT!" Tiffany threw a cup that smashed into pieces on the kitchen floor.
"Tiff, what-" Jessica was careful not to step on shards of glass and hurt herself.
"This is the last time, Jessica. I can't take it any longer. You…" Tiffany clenched her fist, punched the air and turned. "You don't GET IT. I get home from work and dismiss the babysitter. I have to cook dinner, make sure Hyunnie takes a bath and I have to clean the house. I just…I can't do it any more, not on my own."
"But I can-"
"NO! You never help, Jessica. THAT'S THE POINT! I ask you, I plead with you…I beg you…and still nothing. It all goes in one ear and out the other. You always come home 'too tired from work.' DAMN IT, JESSICA! Seohyun needs two parents, not one!"
Jessica was astonished. Was this really how Tiffany felt all these years? Did she overestimate the understanding Tiffany had of Jessica's job?
"But…I was doing it for you and Hyun. I…"
"NO…no. I can't even stay mad with you…it's…there's no going back, Jessica. You are what you are. A workaholic, a liar, a bad wife…"
"Tiffany, don't-" Jessica did not even want to think about what Tiffany was going to suggest.
"I want you out. This has gone on long enough. I tried talking to you, reasoning with you, asking you to be at home more. What else am I supposed to do?!"
"Tiffany, please just let me-"
"Pack your bags and…" Jessica couldn't focus on what Tiffany said after that. She never imagined that Tiffany could ask her to…leave.
'No…no no no. Oh my god…what? What have I…done?'
Her heartbeat quickened, but her expression didn't change. She felt a nervousness, a finality to all of this. And yet…somehow…she didn't act?
In a way, everything that Tiffany said was a shock so far. Something Jessica could never have fathomed. How was she supposed to respond?
'Why didn't I see this coming…oh god…' She wanted to cry, the back of her eyes stinging at the implications on her family and her relationship.
"…and don't call. You should say goodbye to Seohyun. Tell her that you…need to go away for work for a while. I'll think of something else soon enough." Tiffany rubbed her temples sadly as she sighed.
"Wh-…I can't…I won't. Tiffany, please, I just-"
"DO IT! If you even care about me anymore, please just leave. I can't take having expectations of you changing your habits, your life. Don't make my life more miserable than it is, Jessica. Please, just grant me this. I'm not happy with you, not like this…never like this."
And just like that, clear as day, Jessica knew this was the end. The end to everything she was working for, when in reality it was everything she had worked to destroy. Everything she neglected, ignored and dismissed.
The thought of having a family was almost more important to her than actually living as one, actually nurturing it and maintaining a balance, peace and happiness with her wife and child.
As she walked away from everything she thought she once had, to say a goodbye to her daughter, to not know when she could tuck her in again.
To not know when she could feel Tiffany's warmth, if ever.
To not know why she failed to see her mistakes sooner.
Jessica couldn't help but think.
'It's over…and it's my fault…'
*END FLASHBACK*
The next weekend, Jessica came by for her day with Seohyun. Tiffany heard the bell and went to open the door.
"Hi."
Tiffany acknowledged her with a tilt of her head, instead moving the conversation.
"Hi. I'll go get Hyun. Wait here." Tiffany almost seemed…relieved…to see Jessica. Though she was still dismissive of her blonde ex-wife. Soon enough, the mother and daughter emerged from the hall.
"Umma!" Seohyun ran to Jessica, who kissed her forehead and took her hand instantly.
"Hey kiddo. How about we go play in the park today?" Jessica asked as she held Seohyun by her shoulders.
"Yeah!"
Jessica smiled. Such a simple outing was always an adventure for a little kid.
"Mommy should come too!"
The two women stared at each other as if some huge secret had been revealed. A suggestion coming from their daughter, which seemed so innocent, implied so much more.
Tiffany shook her head to come back to reality.
"Uh, Hyunnie, mommy can't today." Tiffany had an apologetic profession.
"But mommy never comes with us…" Seohyun's sad voice almost made Tiffany give in right then.
"I know, Hyunnie, it's just…it's your time to be with umma."
"But I want mommy to come too! All of us together!" Seohyun stomped her foot in the beginning of a tantrum.
Jessica opened her mouth, but couldn't find the right words. Tiffany was frustrated at how persistent Seohyun was right now. She had no good excuse, and Jessica staying silent wasn't helping.
"Hyunnie…" Tiffany bent down and held her daughter's face in her hands. When she realized the girl was starting to cry, she couldn't refuse.
"Okay…okay." Tiffany nodded her head in Jessica's direction as she hugged Seohyun. "Let me go get ready, we'll leave in a minute."
As Jessica and Tiffany watched Seohyun play in the park, they sat on a blanket on the grass not far away.
"You should've said something back there…did you put her up to this?!" Tiffany's voice was back to being venomous as she avoided Jessica's gaze, keeping her eyes forward.
"TIFFANY…" Tiffany snapped her head towards the blonde at the indignant tone.
"No. Do I always have to be the bad girl?" Jessica sighed as she crossed her arms.
"Well, I wasn't the one who stayed in the office instead of being at home WITH HER FAMILY. You don't get any benefit of the doubt."
This was not good. An argument in a public place in front of their daughter…not exactly a painting of reconciliation.
Jessica looked at her lap, nodding her head as if in agreement with her ex-wife. Tiffany almost wanted to feel sorry, instead shaking her head and going back to watching Seohyun.
"I know it's not something I can take back, Tiffany. I just want…I'm asking for a chance. A chance to-"
"You don't get a chance. This isn't some fantasy, Jessica, this is MY LIFE. My daughter's life, and I'm not going to let you ruin it again."
"But I-"
"Umma!"
Seohyun ran up to her parents and literally jumped into Jessica's lap. She reached into her backpack and gave Jessica a book she had brought.
"Read story, umma." Seohyun's missing tooth was too cute when she smiled.
"Okay, honey." Jessica took the book and let Seohyun snuggle under her arm. She glanced to her side, only to see that Tiffany had disappeared. Jessica guessed that maybe she didn't want to be around the two right now.
"Umma, where's mommy?"
"Mommy…went for a walk, kiddo. She'll be back soon. Let's get started, yeah?" Jessica nuzzled Seohyun's hair with her nose, earning a few giggles.
"…The End." Jessica closed the book and glanced at her daughter. The girl was sound asleep as her head rested in her lap.
Jessica smiled sadly, remembering how many nights she missed tucking her in, waking her up or even just hugging and holding her. Jessica stroked her hair under the sun, cherishing the little time she could just do simple things with her daughter.
"I'm so sorry, Seohyun. Umma is sorry for everything. I made you and mommy sad, and I never want to do that again. I want to spend more time with you both, but…I don't deserve that yet." Jessica traced the girl's eyebrows softly, with a ghostly touch. "But I want to try. I want to spend more time at home, I want to make you dinner…even if I might burn down the kitchen at the same time…"
Jessica didn't even realize that one of her tears had hit Seohyun's cheek. Luckily, the girl only shifted her position.
Little did she know that Tiffany had heard everything from the other side of a tree, her watery eyes betraying her frown.
Damn it if she didn't still care about Jessica. A lot.
"I love you, Seohyun. No matter what, I always will." Jessica caressed the smooth cheek as she aimlessly watched her daughter take a nap. She hadn't even noticed that Tiffany was approaching.
"Hey…"
"Oh!" Jessica wiped her tears, ashamed that she was in such a state for Tiffany to see. "Uh, hey…sorry I was just-"
"Let's go home."
The cryptic message went over Jessica's head as she carefully lifted Seohyun to carry her to the car to go home.
Once they reached the house and tucked Seohyun in for the rest of her nap, Jessica and Tiffany sat silently in the kitchen.
The awkwardness was not lost on Jessica.
"Thanks for the tea. I should…I should go." Jessica didn't have the energy to have another heavy conversation that day.
"Jessica." The blonde stopped in her tracks.
"I heard what you said to Seohyun."
Jessica's mouth dropped. She was surely in trouble now.
"I was just…I mean I wanted to…I don't know. I was-"
"Did you mean it?"
"What?"
"Did you mean what you said?" Tiffany spoke with her back turned.
It was a bit of a habit between them. Any conversation when they spoke eye-to-eye would almost always result in an argument or a fight.
"I did. I do."
Tiffany nodded to herself.
"I'll see you later. Thanks…for today."
As Jessica took a few steps, the brunette's voice stopped her again.
"Wait."
"Yes?"
"Seohyun misses you. I've been thinking, maybe you should see her more often. I…If you want to come by tomorrow…"
"Really?!" Jessica cleared her throat to hide her excitement. "I mean, yeah. Absolutely. Are you sure?" Jessica tried her best to contain herself.
"Seohyun…would like it. She needs both of us in her life. A stable presence."
In other words, Tiffany was almost giving Jessica a trial run at more time with the two of them.
"I understand. I'll come by…same time?"
"Yeah."
"Okay...okay. I'll…see you tomorrow." Jessica tapped the doorway with her fingers, unsure if she should say bye.
Rather than try to mess with Tiffany's olive branch, Jessica simply walked away and out the door.
Tiffany just leaned against the kitchen table with her thoughts.
What was she doing giving Jessica an invitation to come back tomorrow? Had the scene at the park really changed her mind that much?
In a way, perhaps it did. Jessica was still a necessary part of their lives, a parent to Seohyun and an invariable aspect of Tiffany's…family. It would do no good to shut her off completely.
But Tiffany still could not fully accept or believe that Jessica was really trying. Really TRYING…wanting to be better for them.
And even if so, was she supposed to just take Jessica back at her word? After everything that had gone wrong?
Right now, who knows. Tiffany just knew that it was not worth the energy, the emotion and the hatred to keep Jessica in such a negative light. That's not how Tiffany was as a person, but with what Jessica had done to her family…
She felt like she had a right to be angry. To make Jessica earn any inroad.
And it all didn't seem to matter, because Tiffany still cared. She still had Jessica in her heart. A part of her wanted to take Jessica back, to be a family again. But that doubt was always there, always in the back of her mind…and Tiffany couldn't take another heartbreak.
And now? Jessica was slowly crawling back in, and the conflicting thoughts were just…Tiffany couldn't make a decision yet. But she had inadvertently given Jessica a chance, no matter how small.
The next day, Sunday, Jessica stood nervously on the porch with a bag in hand that carried a new book and a new tea set.
She rang the doorbell, only to be greeted with the muffled yell of "Umma!" from the other side of the door.
And what do you know, the little girl opened the door and saw the bag that she took as a present.
"Hey Hyunnie. There's something in there for mommy too, okay?" Jessica smiled lightly.
"A new book!" Seohyun practically tossed the tea to the ground as she ran to put it in her collection.
"Hyunnie!" Tiffany couldn't help but smile as she picked up the chamomile tea box.
'One of my favorites…'
"Thanks for the tea."
And for the first time in more than a year, Tiffany smiled directly at Jessica.
"Y-…Yeah, no problem. Thanks for letting me come by again." Jessica had to turn away because of a…blush?
This was NOT the time to be blushing! Though it was painfully obvious that Tiffany still had an effect on Jessica, and right now it was as if they were dating again.
The rest of the day was…better. Jessica and Tiffany talked about mundane things, but nothing that was ever too serious. It was too soon for either of them to really connect again. They played with Seohyun and watched Keroro with her.
Anyone watching from afar would think they were a happy family.
But the two women knew it was only an appearance. A superficial hand of peace, but at least Jessica was trying.
And somehow, in a small sense of the word, Tiffany was letting her.
By no means would a few days make up for years of Jessica's behavior, but it was a start, right?
That's how it went for the next few months. Tiffany gave Jessica more leeway as to when she could come over, when she could see Seohyun and even when the two women could spend time together when the little girl was over at Aunt Taeyeon and Aunt Sunny's house.
As…acquaintances, of course. This time, Jessica was helping Tiffany clean the kitchen after dinner.
"Thank you for the pasta. It was…good." Jessica chose her words carefully with a smile to go with it.
She handed the plate to Tiffany, and as the woman turned back, Jessica thought about patting Tiffany's shoulder in appreciation. Her hand was stuck in the air as the brunette turned around, staring at Jessica with a knowing look.
"Don't, Jessica." She scolded the blonde, who shrunk back.
"Right, right. I didn't mean-…sorry." Jessica took a deep breath to steady herself as she backed away. She hadn't touched her in so long. Not even a handshake, no hug, not even an accidental brush of their fingers.
How Jessica has gone so long without even feeling Tiffany's touch was beyond her. Perhaps she told herself that she deserved it.
Tiffany sighed.
"It's…okay." Tiffany felt slightly bad seeing as how Jessica seemed guilty.
Jessica nodded and kept her eyes on her feet, lifting her head to take a cup of tea from Tiffany.
"Come on." Tiffany led the way to the living room as the two women sat at opposite ends of the couch.
Jessica nervously blew on the hot substance, not knowing what to ask to start a conversation.
"So…how's work?" Tiffany's voice was still guarded.
"It's…good. A day off every other week is nice, so I guess now you know why I come over almost every Monday. " Jessica tried to smile and laugh, only to be met with silence and a stare.
"I mean, if you don't want me to I won't! I was just-" Jessica spoke quickly in a flustered tone, afraid she had crossed some kind of line.
"No. It's okay. That is good, though. Hyun likes seeing you on a consistent basis…she still thinks you're away for work…" Tiffany's voice faded.
"What about for you?" Jessica's mouth spoke before her mind thought.
'Crap…please don't kick me out…please don't kick me out…' Jessica prayed in her mind and clutched the mug in her hand tightly.
"It's…consistent." Tiffany kept her eyes on the tea, stirring it aimlessly.
"Is that…good?" Jessica treaded lightly.
"It's consistent, Jessica." Tiffany's head shot up, a bit annoyed at Jessica's persistence.
The blonde bit her lip in response, speaking again after a few seconds and a sigh.
"Is it always going to be like this between us?"
"And if it is?! Whose fault is that?" Tiffany snapped back. Jessica held her tongue just long enough to remain calm.
"Tiffany, I'm trying. For the last few months, I've been trying. I'm…what else do I need to do?!" Jessica was at her wits' end.
"More like what you SHOULD'VE done!" Tiffany slapped the couch in frustration.
Jessica could only keep her eyes on her lap.
"I know, Tiffany…I…I think about how stupid I was every day. Can you blame me for wanting to make it right?!" The blonde threw her hands up in frustration as well.
"What makes you think you even get that chance?!" Tiffany's stare was now…empty?
"You said it yourself. Hyun needs both of us. I still care a lot about both of you. I know I hurt you, I know I was a fool. But now I want to beg for a chance. Please, Tiffany." Jessica's eyes were desperate as she pleaded with her ex-wife.
In reality, though, they were only separated, never divorced. It was just that neither of them wore their rings any longer.
"No." The answer came too quickly, which surprised both women in different ways.
"But-"
"NO."
"Please, Tiffany. Please!" Jessica clasped her hands together and begged some more.
"NO! That's enough!"
Jessica's mouth was left agape as she obeyed Tiffany's order. The brunette was holding her head and breathing hard. It seemed like she was having a major headache.
"Okay. Okay, I'm sorry. Do you need an aspirin? I'll…I'll go, I just want to make sure you're okay."
"No…I'll be fine. Please lock the door when you leave." Tiffany regulated her breathing as she rubbed her forehead. The look in her eyes was one of exhaustion, defeat and sadness.
And it killed Jessica to know that her presence, even though unintended, contributed to Tiffany's current state. How is someone supposed to feel when your very presence makes someone have a headache?
Jessica listened to Tiffany as she wordlessly and silently walked to the door, but not before she spoke one last time.
"Tiffany, if you ever need anything, please…please, just…don't hesitate to call me." Jessica didn't even wait for a response as she closed the door behind her, knowing Tiffany wouldn't have spoken to her anyway.
Had she just ruined several months' worth of quality family development in one conversation?
A few weeks went by without a visit from Jessica. Tiffany's explanation to Seohyun was that Jessica had to go away to see grandma for a while. Even if Seohyun was intelligent beyond her years, the excuse worked well enough for her.
It was the early evening, and Tiffany was coming home from an especially tiring day of work. Her head was pounding from arguing with one of her firm's partners on how to handle a case they were working on.
She entered her home, put away her briefcase and kicked off her heels before she changed into some comfortable loungewear. She entered the living room to see the babysitter reading to her daughter.
"Oh, hello dear." The older woman greeted Tiffany.
"Hi, Mrs. Choo. Thanks again, you can go home for the day." Tiffany smiled as best she could.
"Thank you, dear. You should take a nap, you look exhausted. A pretty girl like you shouldn't be getting bags at such an age." The older woman held Tiffany by the shoulders, seeing the bags under the young woman's eyes.
"I will, thank you Mrs. Choo." Tiffany patted her hands and saw her out the door, reassuring the woman that she would get some rest.
Which was a lie, of course. Tiffany's cheeks were unusually sunk in, her eyes had bags and her hair was frizzy. She was indeed tired and had a migraine, but she would let no one tell her that.
"Mommy…" Seohyun hopped into Tiffany's lap.
"Hey…" Tiffany kissed her cheek.
"Umma still at work?" Seohyun snuggled into Tiffany's neck for warmth.
"Yes, honey…umma…is still at work. She'll be back soon, okay?" Tiffany patted the little girl's head. Her own head was hurting something fierce.
"Mommy needs to make dinner, okay? Do you want to go read, and I will call for you when it's ready?" Tiffany asked, trying her hardest not to let her tiredness sink in.
Her vision was pulsating.
"Okay mommy!" The girl scampered off.
Tiffany felt dizzy as she stood. She brushed it off. She hated asking for help, she hated letting anyone know she was hurt.
She opened the refrigerator and took out some rice and meat. She was in no mood to make something complicated.
The plastic container was too difficult to open.
Her hands hurt, her legs felt weak.
Even if she didn't want to admit it…she needed someone right now. She was not about to call for an ambulance for what she felt was a simple headache.
She took out her cellphone and dialed anyone imaginable.
Her babysitter?
No. The ahjumma had done enough for the day.
Her breathing quickened. Her headache was reaching unbearable proportions.
Her sister Taeyeon?
Voicemail.
'Probably going at it like the rabbits they are…'
Her friends Yuri and Yoona?
A message about being at yoga…
'Of course a fitness nut like Yuri would be out right now, dragging Yoona with her.'
Tiffany was desperate. The only number she wouldn't call is for an emergency – no way was she going to admit that she was hurting.
Her co-workers Nicole and Victoria.
Her cousin Hyoyeon.
'Where the hell IS everyone?!'
Of course, the fact that it was Friday night was lost on Tiffany. By now, she was rubbing her forehead while sitting in the kitchen.
Her call list was getting very short, and until she came upon a name.
'Jessica…'
No…anyone but her. She looked through the rest of her contacts…only her father was left.
And he was in America.
'God damn it…anyone but her…'
Tiffany hesitated pressing "Call" for a good few minutes.
She grunted in pain as she was starting to hear a tinny sound, her heartbeat reaching her ears.
She needed rest. But Seohyun needed her dinner, the kitchen needing cleaning, the laundry needed washing.
There was too much to do to simply rest. And that was not Tiffany's style, anyway. She wanted things done, and done well.
Her head was pounding, she was dizzy, ever bone and muscle in her body was sore somehow. Her finger lingered over the screen as she wondered whether she would rather fight through this, or call Jessica.
The bright light from the screen was hurting her eyes. She needed to lay down.
'Damn it…'
Tiffany began to write a text:
'Need someone right now. Head hurts, hurts to move. Hurrysdfdsdfdwewefwefwef'
She accidentally pressed send as a pulse ran through her skull, causing her to slip up a bit.
A sweat was forming on her face. It was hard to move at all now.
Everything went black.