Life is Not a Bed of Roses
01: Sexy Bastard
He could still remember the first time they met. It wasn't pleasant. He had just trashed his room and somehow managed to start a fire so the cell was utterly gutted. This led to a scolding and a very thoughtful looking doctor. Who decreed that henceforth, Yazoo would be housed with Loz.
He very nearly broke the arm of the lab assistant who tried to put him into the room with that… that pathetic little creature. Even at that tender age, he knew trouble when he saw it and Loz spelt T-R-O-U-B-L-E with bright neon letters. The entire curling-up-in-bed-I'm-so-sad image just made him cringe.
Somehow, he got shut in anyway. And that quivering bundle of rags stared at him until he sighed and gruffly introduced himself.
No response.
He went over to the bed, the bed he was going to take over, and the boy shied away from him, pressing up against the wall. Then, their eyes met.
He could still remember the first word that Loz said to him, something that made everything suddenly seem okay.
"Aniki…"
It really wasn't too bad, because though Loz tended to cry a lot, Yazoo usually managed to shut him up pretty quickly. Back then, Loz was such a little boy, tiny and frail and all dependent.
"Yazooooooooooooo!" called Kadaj, voice rising into a whine, startling the older man out of his reverie. "Loz is making funny sounds and I can't sleep!"
Yazoo stared at his youngest brother. "What do you want me to do?" he asked finally, getting up from his watch position and stretching.
"Go shut him up?" suggested Kadaj, pouting adorably at his elder brother.
Yazoo stifled a sigh. "Why don't you just do it yourself?"
"Because he's making funny sounds," replied Kadaj somberly, as though reporting something of great import. Seeing that Yazoo was about to refuse flatly and send him back to sleep, Kadaj narrowed his eyes. "And I order you to go shut him up for me."
And Yazoo did sigh because he knew it was going to happen anyway. "Alright, alright, I'll go talk to him. Go back to sleep."
The boy grinned happily at him and pranced off, back to his sleeping bag. Even though Yazoo was not the most outspoken nor the most pleasant person to have around, he usually got the job done ok.
Yazoo stretched, noting to his satisfaction that there was no cracking of bones whatsoever. Then he headed off in the direction of Loz's sleeping bag. Kadaj was right, Loz was making funny sounds. He walked up to the sleeping bag and prodded it gently with his foot.
"Loz."
All he got was a… wait a moment, was that a…!
"Loz!" he yelled, kicking the prone bag none too gently.
Bleary eyes fluttered open. "Mrew?"
"What exactly were you dreaming of?" demanded Yazoo, thankful of the low light in the area.
"You…" mumbled Loz, still half asleep. He turned over in the sleeping bag, making a contented sound.
He did not want to know. Honestly, he didn't. Except that he had to. He reached down and yanked his brother up by the collar. And promptly dropped him. Ow. He had forgotten how big Loz was now. At least that woke him up.
"Yazoo?" mumbled Loz, rubbing his eyes. "I thought my watch was over?"
"What were you dreaming about, Loz?" asked Yazoo again, kneeling down beside his brother. Once upon a time, it would have been concern that spread across his face; at that moment, it was impatience. Because he needed to know what Loz meant by 'you'.
The question seemed to wake the larger man fully, which was not a good sign. When Loz turned an odd shade of red, Yazoo just knew that he had been right the moment he laid eyes on that little boy ages and ages ago. Loz was trouble. And there was going to be trouble.
"Iwasdreamingaboutyou," said Loz extremely quickly. "Andwewereinbedandwewerefucking."
There was a moment of silence as Yazoo processed this. Then he said very calmly, "You have three seconds. Run."
Loz was already a couple of hundred meters away by then. Yazoo counted to two, then pulled Velvet Nightmare.
"It isn't my fault!" yelled Loz over his shoulder while dodging bullets.
"What do you mean, it isn't your fault?" demanded Yazoo, striding forward and reloading without missing a beat. "We're brothers! We've been sharing the same bed for years! And you were having a…" his voice faltered for a moment as he gathered himself. "You were having a wet dream about me, you sicko! How do you think I feel about that? Now I'm going to wonder about every time we were together on the same bed!"
"Actually, it only started…"
"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!"
Loz barely turned in time to avoid the gunblade slashing down toward his shoulder. "Well, it never would have happened if you weren't such a sexy bastard!" he bit out, twisting around to block the second slash. He took advantage of the split second of utter shock to pin his brother. Yazoo lashed out in return and they ended up on the forest floor, Loz on top, maintaining his hold.
There was silence, only broken by the sound of harsh breathing. After awhile, Yazoo winced.
"You're cutting off my circulation," he told Loz, voice a little raspy but mostly back to normal.
The larger man scrambled off quickly. "Sorry," said Loz quietly, suddenly looking like he was on the verge of tears. "I mean, I'm really sorry. About the dream and about everything and…"
"Aren't you going to help me up?" interrupted Yazoo, rubbing his wrists. Loz complied, looking a little surprised.
"You're not going to kill me, are you?" asked Loz in a small voice. "Because if you are, I have to start running again."
And Yazoo burst out laughing. He reached out and gave his brother a tight hug. "Loz, don't cry," he whispered, patting the man gently on the back. "Don't worry. You're right, it isn't your fault. We're all so fucked up I don't think I should have been surprised."
"Aniki…"
He hadn't heard that in awhile, not since they'd found Kadaj. It made him grin in spite of himself.
"Don't worry, I know exactly what you need," he told his brother. Upon getting a quizzical look, he laughed. Careful listeners would detect a note of hysteria mixed with mania. "You need a woman, Loz, and we shall get you one at the next village we visit."