The Mysteries of the Ducktective
by SilverMoonGrimm
(ps you'll recognize the last one)
-xx-
"How can that one notebook he found have the answers for everything?"
"Because the author knows everything that happens in the town! Duh!"
"But we don't even know who the author is."
"Not yet!"
"My vote's on the loony goose."
-xx-
"What if-"
"No way."
"How about-"
"Nope."
"You don't even know what I was about to say!"
"That maybe the Ducktective was the one responsible the whole time?"
". . . maybe."
-xx-
"Okay, so if it's not the Ducktective, maybe it's the chief! That eyepatch of his was pretty suspicious."
"I have an eyepatch, Mabel. Are you accusing me of going behind your back to do something completely underhanded and possibly illegal that has the potential to destroy the world as we know it?"
"Of course not! That'd be ridiculous."
-xx-
"Ew. That Gabriel is person is so gross. I never thought I would say that about a rabbit, but it's true."
"How can the whole town love him? It's so obvious that he's an evil psychic trying to take over the town and marry the main girl."
"No one ever notices anything weird happening."
"I think they explained that in an earlier episode- something about a secret society of dragonflies?"
"Oh yeah! The Compound Eye!"
"Stupid name."
-xx-
"Does anyone on the show have a life outside of this crime-solving business?"
"Um, yeah! Heydees has his grandma and McDonald Flannel has her group of friends!"
"Oh yeah. Sometimes I forget because it's all so different from our lives, it's hard to keep straight."
"That happens to you too?"
-xx-
"Ahhh! I missed the topsecretquackermessage at the end of the episode! How am I supposed to solve the mystery of what's happening in Quackerville without documenting every week's clue?"
"Relax, Mabel. It'll be all over the Internet in ten minutes."
-xx-
"Dipper! You have to watch!"
"Seriously? It's a kid's show, made for first graders."
"But it's funny! And did you see last week's episode? It just got much darker than a kid's show! Plus there are totally some joke that little kids wouldn't ever get."
"No."
"There's a bunch of ducks doing people things."
". . . fine, I'll watch."
-xx-
"Are you serious? The big twist was that he had a twin brother?"
"Dude, I predicted that like a year ago."