Dear Diary
X-Men: The Movie
Angel of Neptune
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DC: I do not own X-Men
888
Dear Diary,
It has been days, probably weeks since I've written in this. After Jean's death, keeping up with everything has been proven to be a very difficult task. I'm so disorientated at the moment (just like the rest of the students and staff at the school). I know complaining like a little child won't do me any good, nor will it bring my best friend back from the dead.
It keeps me up at night; Jean's death. I keep telling myself that I could have done something to save her, you know? My stomach turns into knots when I think about it. I hate thinking about it. It makes me sick knowing that I could have easily saved Jean if I tired. Goddess, why did I end up freezing in my spot, afraid to see what Jean had planned to save us?
I feel like I'm such a horrible friend; person. If it had been me, Jean would have done anything in her power and everything to save me. I'm so sorry. I didn't even try. I don't even know if she could ever forgive me for not trying. If I was in her shoes, I would never accept an apology.
I remember when I first came to Xavier's mansion. Goddess, it seems so long ago. It was just me, Scott and Jean. We were the original X-Men. Those were the good old days. I barely spoke English at first and I wasn't sure what to think of Scott or Jean.
As time went on, the three of us began to work more as a team. We became great friends, especially Jean and I. Jean really took the time to teach me better English and many other things. We were best friends. We understood each other.
Ororo looked up from her trustworthy diary and gazed around the poorly lighted bedroom of hers. Yes, it was growing very late, but she didn't care. She didn't have to work on the weekends. Tonight, time wasn't a factor.
We would all constantly go out together, especially on the weekends when one of us had to work. We would get back home very late. The Professor didn't seem to mind. Of course, when Scott's and Jean's relationship kicked off, I was cast off in the dark for a while when they were always out on their dates.
Jean would always come back with stories. We would spend the nights just talking to each other like a couple of teenagers. I miss those nights now. I'm all alone because I didn't have the courage to save my dear friend.
Kurt, the new guy at the mansion, told me I shouldn't be so hard on myself. He says it won't bring Jean back and that she's in a better place now, she's with God.
Kurt is a very religious man. By first glance, you would think otherwise. He looks like a blue devil; a picture taken right out of the bible itself. He's such a sweet guy really, once you take the time to get to know him a little bit better.
Alright, now it was time for a little break. Her hand was aching from writer's cramp and she was starting to grow a tiny bit hungry. Then again, she had totally skipped dinner to finish grading left over papers. Ororo left her pen within the small book and immediately went downstairs to the kitchen. Her stomach was already growling beyond belief at this point.
Ororo frowned lightly as she went through the contents of the items in the fridge. Finding something decent was always a difficult challenge. Now she knew how the students felt. Ororo always made sure that the school had a decent amount of healthy food and hardly any junk. She was eating her own words. Great. She craved something crunchy; something salty.
No, she wasn't going to give in to that. She was on a very strict diet, one that did not contain any junk food what-so-ever. Ororo grumbled ever so slightly as she picked out a fresh bag of baby carrots. Well, they were crunchy.
Ororo closed the door to the fridge with her foot as she carefully opened the plastic bag containing the carrots. She placed the bag on the counter while she picked up a napkin to hold about five small carrots from the bag. Now to return upstairs to finish her diary entry.
"Vhy are you up so late, Miss Munroe?"
She knew that German accent very well. A slight smile came to her face, "Kurt?" She called out softly, not wanting to disturb anyone. Goddess, why did he have to blend in so well with the dark? Of course, his yellow eyes did give him away. "I can ask you the same question." She pointed out as her blue eyes stared into his yellow.
Kurt took a step out from the hallway and into the moonlight which shown brightly off his pearly white smile. Ororo returned his smile as she nibbled on one of her carrots.
"I didn't see you at dinner." Kurt replied.
Ororo shrugged her shoulders, "I had to finish grading a few extra papers." She answered. "I wanted to get it out of the way. And you? Why are you downstairs at this time of night?"
Kurt's smile turned into a smirk, "Vell, I vanted to make sure you ve're alright, Miss Munroe."
"Please, Kurt," Ororo began. "Call me Ororo." They were colleges now, seeing how Kurt was teaching German at the school. "And why would you be staying up this late to make sure I was alright?" She questioned.
"Vell, mein Engel, as I said before, I did not see you at dinner." Kurt pointed out. "I just vanted to make sure you veren't beating yourself up for something you had no control over. I knew you had to come downstairs sooner or later."
"That's very kind of you, Kurt." Ororo replied. "You'll be happy to hear that I'm perfectly fine. I just came down for a midnight snack. I'm going back to bed…"
Kurt nodded, "Guten Nacht, Engel. Sleep vell, ja?"
It is great to be reminded that there are still people here who care about me. Yes, I know that sounds rather stupid, but ever since Jean died, everyone has been thinking about her and piling their work on me. Not only do I have to cover my classes, but Scott's as well because he's trying to find himself all over again, whatever that means anyways. Logan is always out at night and doesn't show up until dawn. It's very stressful.
But honestly! Kurt went out of his way to make sure I was alright. Sure, he was just staying up late on a weekend and he's probably going to sleep in tomorrow morning, but it still counts. He has barely known me for what? Two weeks?
And the way he speaks German… I've never thought that much about the language, you know? It's odd. I love the way he said 'angel.' Goddess, he's such a great guy; almost perfect.
This entry sounds like something out of Kitty's journal. She left it behind in class one afternoon, silly girl. I think she claimed it the next day.
I don't know about a relationship right now, not after what happened between Forge and me. Yes, I still don't want to discuss that either. Logan has tried to hit on me a few times here and there, but he's really out for Jean, of course. Now that she's gone, he has been very keen with marie and me; Marie and Bobby are currently standing on pretty shaky grounds. Bobby has had his eye out on Kitty lately.
Drama and teenagers are like very strong magnets, sadly. Sometimes they can make my job a lot more demanding then what it already is. I tell you, the stories I hear sometimes are pretty unbelievable (and sometimes pretty much entertaining). It's literally how I keep up with things at the mansion.
Once more Ororo looked up from her writing. It was about time she began to wrap things up. The alarm clock on her bedside was just now informing her that it was three in the morning. Her blue eyes were now clearly ringing of tiredness. She silently rubbed them with the tips of her fingers. She had to wrap things up and quickly.
It's getting pretty late, I guess and I told Kurt that I was going to bed.
-Ororo Munroe
Finally, Ororo closed the small book and placed it under her bed; the usual position, hiding place. She threw the pen aside, onto the nightstand. The weather goddess curled up under the blanks and rested her head against the pillow.
The End