Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, nor will I ever. The End.
This was probably shaping up to be one of the easiest hunts the brothers had ever encountered. They were dealing with a spirit; a dumb spirit who was probably more afraid of the people it was haunting than they were of it. Sam, with the help of his always present laptop got some of the finer details pinned down, and all they needed to do was salt and torch the bones. Only problem was, they were still at the house of the grateful woman, Grace, whom they had helped, and couldn't get to the graveyard until midnight. Because, seriously, who, besides whack jobs and hunters traveled to graveyards and digged up the bones of dead bodies for fun? Exactly. They had to wait.
"Well, if you have nothing to do, you could just stick around here for awhile," Grace said, which to Dean, automatically meant that that she was interested in him, which made him all the more willing to stay.
Dean raised his eyebrows suggestively, flashing his trademark smirk and promptly agreed, turning to Sam, "You wanna keep these kids occupied for a while?"
"No."
"Sam-" Dean put on his best "whiny-emo-bitch" face, that Sam had seemed to perfect but Dean was still learning.
"I'm not going to keep these kids company while you go have your "fun" for a few hours, and besides, we've got a hunt to be thinking about and I can't have you distracted, in turn, screwing up possibly the easiest hunt in the entire universe," Sam finished, while turning away from a distraught looking Dean.
Dean turned back to the woman who seemed to be losing interest quickly, while she tended to her youngest of three children. She gave Dean a sympathetic smile and told him, "Well, I've got a few things to do, but you're still welcome to stay."
"That'd be great," Sam replied, hoping to save a few bucks on motel money, "Thanks a lot."
Grace smiled and turned back to Dean, "It's really hard to shop with three kids on your hands, you know what I mean?"
Dean smiled, nervously, "Uh, no, but I'll take your word for it. Good luck with that."
She sighed, "I could certainly get done a lot quicker without all those kids with me," she gave another, more exaggerated sigh, "It's been so hard ever since my husband died last August."
Sam's attention was brought back in that instant. He looked up at her and saw tears shining in her eyes. He bit his lips, No, Sam, come on... Stop it... Oh damnit. "Well, why don't you let us watch your kids for you while you shop?" Sam suggested, hating himself already.
"What?!" Dean jumped into the conversation eagerly.
Sam nudged him and continued, "Really, it's no problem."
Dean grinned sourly and nodded his head, unenthusiastically, "Yeah," he turned towards Sam, his eyes narrowing, "We'd absolutely love that."
Grace perked almost instantly and grabbed her purse off of the table, "Thanks so much, I won't be gone long, and I'll take the baby with me," she said, "You've only gotta deal with Hannah, she's four, upstairs in her room with her brother Jake, who's seven."
Sam gulped and nodded and Dean did his best to convince himself that he was somewhere else entirely. And like that, Grace was out the door.
"Man. Why was she in such a hurry?" Sam asked concerned.
Maybe because she's trapped here all the time with these... things. God I hate kids. "Erm... maybe she really hates her kids that much?" Dean smirked, even knowing that this night would take forever.
Dean and Sam decided to make themselves comfortable and plopped on the chocolate brown couch in front of the t.v. As five minutes passed, Hannah and Jake ran downstairs to greet the two babysitters.
"BOOBAH!!!!" Hannah rejoiced as she saw her two new babysitters.
"What the hell's a boobah?" Dean asked Sam untheusiastically.
"You do not want to know..."
Jake decided to busy himself as he sat down on the computer and turned it on.
Dean cocked his head to the side, "Um, Jack-"
"Jake!" Sam hissed to his brother.
"Jake," Dean emphasized, "Are you supposed to be on the computer?"
Jake nodded enthusiastically, talking a mile a minute, "My mommy always lets me on the computer because she says it good for my brain and she wants me to be smart when I'm older so I don't end up working at MacDonalds and walking out on my entire family, leaving my wife with three kids like my idiot dead beat dad!"
Sam cringed when he heard the small childs words and Dean laughed out loud, "So much for dying in August... Sam we just got royally played."
"Yeah..."
Before Dean noticed, Hannah had climbed up onto the older man's knee and situated herself in front of the TV. Dean felt the girl and looked down to see her innocent face staring back up at him. She grinned, "Hi!"
"Hi..." Hannah snatched the remote from Sam's unsuspecting hands and grinned back at him, "Hi!"
"Hannah... Didn't your mother ever teach you to leave the babysitters alone?" Dean almost growled.
"Dean!" Sam scolded.
Sighing, Dean tried to remove the child from his knee, who, as soon as her feet touched the carpet began to wail, "Sam do something!"
"Let the little girl sit on your lap, Dean, come on," Sam said, "Have a heart, man."
Dean made a strange gurgling noise in his throat and picked up the sobbing child and placed her back on his knee, glaring at her, "Happy?"
Hannah immediatly stopped crying and laughed, "Uh huh." She took the opportunity to change the channel and giggled happily when a fat, blue blob began dancing around on the TV.
"WHAT IS THAT THING?" Dean yelped in surprise at the TV.
Sam whispered, "That, my brother, is a Boobah."
"Boobah," Dean grinned and laughed to himself, "That sounds dirty."
"Only to you, Dean."
Sam and Dean watched the episode, while the little tiny... things danced around on the TV, making strange noises, and scaring them more than any supernatural creature they had ever encountered.
Dean leaned over and whispered to Sam, "Is this like a brainwashing show for toddlers?"
"Not that I'm aware of," Sam watched in silence for a few seconds, "They're kind of creepy."
Dean nodded his agreement, "You know what? I've figured it out, this show is why the future generation is so screwed," Dean said, "This show is solely responsible for the demise of any sane person you will find within the next fifty years."
"It's just a TV show, Dean."
"No. That's just like that damned Big Bird. Sesame Street, man I told dad not to let you watch that," Dean shook his head sadly, "No wonder you're so screwed up."
Sam ignored him and turned his attention back to the slightly satanic television show, wondering if perhaps Dean was right, wondering what kind of subliminal messages he was being sent. As a commercial finally interrupted the program, Sam turned to his brother.
"Hey Dean?"
"Yeah?"
"If you could choose, any of them," Sam started, "Which Boobah would you be?"
Dean turned his nose up slightly and thought for a second, "The one that kicks all the other's asses and teaches them how to speak a normal language."
"You're no fun," Sam pouted, "Come on, blue, purple, pink, orange, or yellow?"
"If I had to pick, blue," Dean replied, before adding and looking at his brother, an amused look gracing his usually neutral features, "Dude... You know the Boobahs by heart?"
Sam looked down at his feet, mumbling, "No..."
After a few moments, Hannah sighed, dramatically. Like mother like daughter, Dean thought, "What is it?"
"I'm bored."
"I thought you were watching the possessed-"
"Boobahs," Sam interrupted.
The girl gave an annoyed, yet confused look and shook her head, "I already sawed this episode before," Hannah said, "They just dance around a lot."
"Educational..." Sam mumbled.
"How is this educational? This teaches children to behave like they have down syndrome," Dean hissed.
"I have an idea!" Hannah proclaimed, loudly, as she bounded up the stairs to her room, leaving two frightened Winchesters in her wake.
"Are you scared?" Sam asked.
Dean cringed and nodded, "More than I've ever been in my life."
Happily, the four year old came scrambling back down with a garbage bag grasped in her tiny hands, and handed it to Dean.
"You want us to take out your garbage?" Dean asked.
The girl laughed, like it was the funniest thing she'd ever heard in her life and took the bag back from him, opening it and handing it back, "Take it out, you'll love it!"
Dean eyed Sam, warily and pulled out something soft and squishy... and blue. Sam began to laugh hysterically as he watched his brother twirl the article of clothing around in his hand, "You got your wish, Dean!"
"What are you talking about?"
Sam took it from him and pulled it apart, holding out for Dean to behold all its glory, "You get your very own Boobah costume! Put it on!" Sam encouraged.
"You're joking..." Dean cursed under his breath and shook his head, "There is no way that I'm putting that thing on, no way, no how, no, no, and no!"
Hannah's lip began to tremble and her face scrunched up like she just ate something that didn't agree with her.
Sam's eyes widened, "Dean you better put the costume on..."
"No!"
Sam and Dean argued back and forth for a few moments before Hannah spoke up, her eyes shining with anger, "Put the costume on, NOW! Before I make you."
"Yeah? You and what army?" Dean challenged, childishly
"Dean, you're arguing with a four year old," Sam pointed out.
"Shut up, I'm winning," Dean whispered.
The child, yet again, looked at the man confused and let a fat tear roll down her cheek, "I just wanted you to play with me," she whined as Sam gave her a sympathetic look, ignoring her.
She hooked herself onto Dean's pant leg and started sobbing, big heavy heaves, screaming frantically, "I JUST WANTED A FRIEND!"
Sam covered his ears, pleading with his brother to put the costume on before she made them both deaf.
Finally, Dean couldn't take it anymore and did everything but kick the small girl off of his leg. Pulling himself through the costume, Dean stood proudly as a blue, fluffy Boobah and Sam reached into his pocket to grab his phone. He definitely needed a picture.
Dean was fuming, "You happy you little brat? I'm a freaking Boobah."
SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN
Sam had decided that Dean could handle himself with Hannah for a while, so he decided to check up on the long forgotten Jake. He really should have been keeping a better eye on him, but how much trouble could the kid have gotten in to? He was only sitting on the computer.
"Jake?" Sam questioned as he peered around the corner to find Jake sitting at the computer, pressing the keyboard a million miles per minute.
The little boy turned around and grinned as Sam watched him continue to play with the keys.
"You look like you could use a little help, there," he said, still not having looked at the screen.
The boy's eyes widened for a moment before he grabbed the jacket he was wearing from off his shoulders and draped it over the moniter, "Nope, I've got it all under control," Jake replied, with a nervous laugh.
Sam narrowed his eyes and took a few steps closer, "Okay... Let me see what you're doing, you seem like you're having a lot of fun," Sam said.
"No, no!" Jake set his body in front of the computer fulling blocking it from the youngest Winchester's view, "Why don't you go check on Hannah?"
"Dean's got Hannah," Sam said, his interest peaked as to why the little boy wouldn't let him see the screen, "I came to hang out with you for a while."
Jake's face turned confrontational, "Listen, I want to be by myself. I don't need a freaking babysitter."
"I'm sure you don't, and I'm not babysitting, I just want to uh, play a game," Sam lied, realizing even to his own ears, how stupid he sounded. Before Jake could react, Sam took the piece of fabric off of the monitor and his eyes widened in horror as he realized what happened.
"Jake, what did you do?!" Sam asked, in a panic.
Jake covered his face in his hands and started explaining, "I don't know what happened, all of the sudden all of these things kept popping up so I clicked on them to see what would happen and then the computer started going crazy and sparking-"
"That's because you dropped a glass of water on it!" Sam cried when he saw the cup tipped over, laying haphazardly on the side of the computer.
"But that doesn't explain the boxes on the screen!" the boy replied, "And why nothing works and the little arrow won't move!"
"Okay, calm down, we can fix this," Sam said as he started cautiously looking for a way to fix it.
He tried to turn on the computer, and nothing happened, so he unplugged it, and the screen went black. He tried to plug it back in, and it made a sound like an airplane taking off and then nothing. Sam pressed the 'on' button again, but still nothing happened.
"Damn," Sam sighed.
(10 minutes later)
"Dean I'm gonna need a little- what the hell happened in here?!"
Dean smiled sheepishly, a loaded shotgun in his hand and a small sobbing corner in the child. The Boobah costume was mutilated and hung around Dean's ankles.
"I guess the spirit didn't want to wait until later," he replied, "He came back so I blasted him full of rocksalt. Hannah here didn't like the noise.
Sam soothed the crying child and glared at Dean, "Do you realize what Grace is gonna do when she comes back to find her daughter traumatized, her son knocked out in the computer room-"
"What happened to her son?" Dean interrupted.
"He slipped on a puddle of water and hit his head after he trashed the computer!"
"Is he-"
"He's fine, it's not as bad as it seems."
Dean stopped and sighed, "Dude, when Grace gets back she's gonna call the cops on us."
Sam made a face, "Can't have that..." Sam thought for a moment, "Tell you what, I need to take care of a few things, you need to step out of the scary costume and then we're out of here."
Dean's eyes widened in shock, "You're serious?"
Sam took another look around the room that now looked as if it had been caught in a massive hurricane, "As a heart attack."
Grinning, Dean nodded, "Alright."
Sam quickly ran back to the other room, scooped up Jake and set him on the couch, applying an icepack to his head as he cracked open an eye. He expertly checked for a concussion, just in case and when he found no trace of one, asked Hannah to call her mother.
"Mommy?" Hannah questioned as she got on the phone, "When are you coming home?"
The response on the other end said that she was almost home, and Dean and Sam nodded there aprovals.
"Well kids, it's been fun," Dean said, smirking as he made his way out the door quickly with Sam following close behind.
"You guys are sucky babysitters!" Hannah called just as Dean slammed the door shut to the Impala. He revved up the engine, and gunned it out of there.
After a few minutes on the road Sam laughed.
"What's so funny?" Dean asked as Sam pulled his cellular phone out of his pocket and clicked into the pictures, pulling up his most recent of Dean.
"You know you're deleting that, right?" Dean said, a hint of threat in his voice.
Sam ignored him and stuffed the phone back into his pocket, "You know something?"
"What?"
Sam laughed once more shaking his head, "It's a damn good thing neither of us have any kids."
Dean couldn't have agreed more.
Finished. Review please! This was done just for fun, just so everybody knows. This was not meant to be taken seriously at all.