I really do not know how I get myself in situations like this! If it weren't FTA's that made my life a little bit more interesting or police investigations I more or less stumbled over or in really, than it were the men in my life that made sure it never got boring. Or maybe it was me all alone and I just liked to blame others. Maybe.
Right now I was somewhat on a break again with Morelli and on some weird on-again situation with Ranger – though were we ever really on or off?
My mother had already called twice today, reminding me that she really needed that name for my plus one to Valerie's wedding in a few weeks. And that was the problem.
Sighing I took my phone and dialed my parent's number.
"What do you mean you won't bring a date?" my mother asked after I started explaining things.
"Exactly how it sounds like. I'm on my own in this one."
"Why can't Joe come?" I heard her asking, and I wasn't quite sure how to handle that question.
"We aren't really on speaking terms right now," I answered evasively. Technically it wasn't a fib. Not really. He had a new number. And was out of town. I didn't have his new number – yet – and therefore hadn't spoken to him in a few days.
"Is it something that can't be fixed in the next few weeks?" she asked and I sighed again. Technically her question wasn't quite unusual. Me and Morelli had a rather strange relationship that usually was on for a few months and then off again for that same amount of time. I had stopped counting how often I had started a conversation with my mother with "Joe and I are on a break again"
Naturally she assumed it was just a matter of time until I and Joe were back on again. It was just…. I wasn't sure whether I actually wanted to be "back on again". We had been through this circle several times and maybe there was a time when we had to let go and admit that this wasn't really working out. But then again the sex was really good. Like…really, really good. But the same thing could be said about Ranger – well, for the few times I actually got to get that experience that is. And sex wasn't what made a relationship now, was it? It was part of it but should not be the fundament.
There was a moment where I wondered whether I should just ask Ranger to accompany me to Val's wedding. But... no. My relationship with Ranger was on the same level as complicated as my relationship with Morelli. Just without the constant break ups.
Ranger seemed to magically appear whenever I was in need, was not the talkative type but could set your panties on fire with simply a look. The number of meanings he could put in "Babe" was endless and he had a never-ending supply in black, shiny, brand-new cars whose origins were rather questionable and vague. He never minded lending me one and never got upset when I called him usually a few hours later, telling him the car got lost, set on fire, flattened or other catastrophic things. His usual reply was him reminding me that "it is just a car" which always made me wonder.
I didn't know plenty of men who would take it as casual and easy-going when told you just destroyed yet another brand-new and expensive car of theirs and would offer you a replacement in the same sentence. Actually, I didn't know any. And neither did any of my friends. Nothing ever seemed to upset Ranger – much. Though I couldn't help but wonder whether me asking him to accompany me would change that.
My mother apparently took my silence as cue to start going her usual "we could ask" routine. Her supply of single and "mom-appropriate" men was as endless as her supply of job opportunities.
"You know, Johnny Costello has recently been divorced and asked me the other day how you've been doing. I'm sure he wouldn't mind coming with you."
There was a moment where I wondered if I should try explaining that in regards of first dates weddings seriously were a bad choice. Speaking of pressure.
"Mom, Johnny Costello was going out with Val when they were in High School. Somehow I don't think his idea of a great time is going to the wedding of his ex, especially when he just went through a divorce."
My mother seemed to think about that for a moment. "What about Gary Antonelli?"
"What about him?" in all fairness, I didn't even the slightest idea who Gary was, but was confident that my mother would need less than a minute to clue me in.
"You went to kindergarten together, before his family moved to Texas. He apparently moved back to Trenton a few weeks back. Louise Geranoda told me so herself. Apparently he has his own company these days."
I thought about that for a moment before I remembered who Gary was. "Mom, Gary was at the tender age of four worse than Joe ever managed to be. No way."
Apparently having run out of candidates for now my mother hung a few moments later, but I was certain it wouldn't be for long. And I was right, she called the next day, with another list of potentials.
When I turned down the first three she offered, my mother became agitated – something she never did.
"Why can't you for once be like others? I don't think Louisa Bartoli ever had to have these conversations with her daughter and…"
"Mom, Gina is married since ten years. Whenever she has to go to a wedding she simply takes her husband."
"Exactly, she has a husband. If you'd have one we wouldn't be having that conversation right now. I heard Martin Hutchinson is single again…."
For a moment that made me smile, mainly because I suspected for once I knew something before my mother did. And that never happened.
"Martin Hutchinson is gay, mother. I don't think I have the parts needed to get his interest."
There was silence for a moment and I suspected my mother just made a cross. She was kinda modern but not on board with the whole program yet.
"When you come alone I'm not sure how to explain that to the neighbors."
Of course! I rolled my eyes. You can't go to a wedding at the Burg and come alone. It just wasn't done – according to my mother. Well…. actually it had been done before and as far as I remembered it didn't end well.
"Mom, half the neighborhood already thinks I'm either crazy or insane. They know a week where I don't set something on fire or lose a car is actually rather unusual for me. I hardly think me not bringing a date to my sister's wedding will raise any eyebrows," I explained and I knew deep inside herself my mother knew I was right. Just for measure I added "I'm certain I can find a skip that I could bring."
Yes, sometimes it was fun yanking on my mother's chain. No guilt.
"Why do I need to have a daughter that goes off and does this stuff? Why can't you be like Gina or Sophia Brunto. They never do anything like that and seem to be perfectly happy with their lives. And their husbands. And their children."
And also bored, I added in my head. Not that I was voluntarily looking for the trouble that seemed to follow my life. Not much anyway.
And maybe not going to the wedding would be an option as well, thought to myself. A second later I heard my mother draw in a breath. Guess my ability to think something and also speak it out loud stroke again.
"Did you just say you wouldn't make it to your sister's wedding? You are her maid of honor."
Didn't I know it? The dress in that awful color was only reminding me every time I opened my closet.
"I… have to go, mom. Some of us actually have to work," I said, ending the call just as my breakfast burger arrived. Technically it is work. I was looking at files of my skips. And maybe, who knew, one of them was by chance showing up in this dinner.
"You know, one of these days that stuff's gonna kill you, Baby," I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"At least it'll be a worthy death," I replied grinning, before taking my first bit and watching Ranger slide in opposite of me. A few seconds later his usual breakfast of half a grapefruit and coffee appeared. The coffee was – of course – black and wouldn't ever get a taste of sugar. Ranger lived a rather restricted life.
"What gets you in my hood?" I asked between bites, laughing. Truth was, this sure as hell was more his than my hood. My hood was the Burg, where I knew everyone and everything. Everything else of Trenton was technically his, since he knew everyone and everything outside the Burg. But details…
"Heard you caught Mancosi. And you didn't even destroy a car this time. Proud of you, Baby."
"Yeah, I was surprised as well. I had my eyes set out on that cute little Civic in neon-pink as my next car. Would be great for surveillance blending in, you know? Guess that has to wait for another week or so," I joked, seeing Ranger barely smile. Ranger didn't do colors much. His cars, his clothes, everything was usually black. Even his humor.
I nodded barely to the files on my left. "I guess one of these will do the job of getting me a new car," I smiled.
"Babe, if you need a new car, all you have to do is ask," he said before taking a sip of his coffee.
"But they aren't pink," I sort of whined sarcastically.
"No they aren't," he said, shaking his head. For a moment I wondered whether he just imagined himself, or any of his guys like Tank or Cal behind the wheel of a pink Taurus. That would be priceless.
Before I could reply my phone vibrated on the table. The Display read "Mom" so clearly I wasn't going to answer that. No need to start another conversation with her right now.
"I guess your suggestion of not showing up, or showing up single didn't go down well then," ranger said, making me wonder.
"How did you…?" I started asking and he just threw me that look.
"Babe, you should be more aware of your surroundings." I can't remember how often he had said that exact same thing to me before. "Also, you might have mentioned something before."
Right, like every time we had met. I forgot.
"You know, I haven't been at one in a while," he said in some strange, non-comitial tone. At that I raised my eyebrows.
"Are you offering what I think you do?" I ask a bit taken aback. I wasn't really sure what to make of his comment. Ranger was not really the guy you would find at weddings.
Instead of an answer I simply got one of his mysterious smiles. Great.
"We are talking about a wedding. Most guys I know would rather be running scared in the opposite direction…" I clarified, just in case.
"Babe, I'm not like most guys you know," he simply said and yeah, he so had a point. He was like no guy I knew.
"Um… right. But, you'd just…. offer to accompany me, to my sister's wedding? Just like that?" I asked, still a bit shocked.
At that Ranger smiled once more his rather mysterious smile.
"I wouldn't say "just like that"," he just said, taking another sip of his coffee. "You ready for another deal of ours?" I heard him ask and almost choked on my coffee. The last deal we had was about the capturing of an FTA and how Ranger and I would share a bed – in the most biblical sense.
He once told Joyce Bernhardt he'd spent 12 hours ruining me for every other man. He hadn't managed during that night, but got pretty close. But than again he didn't spent 12 hours in my bed, so maybe that's why.
The thing was – once you agreed to a deal with Ranger he'd sooner or later come and collect. And I wasn't sure I was ready for a repeat performance.
The strange was that I never quite got why Ranger needed a deal to begin with. He was hot as hell. And women noticed. A lot. Every time me and ranger were somewhere around town I got a first-hand experience. He could have had plenty of women, many a lot better looking than me. So why he needed a deal was beyond me. He could handpick his next companion for the night without any sort of negotiation of deal and yet that's what he did. Maybe it was a weird form of wanting what was sort of off-limits kind of thing. Though I was certain, if he put his mind to it, he could convince me to forget Morelli once and for all.
"Um…." was pretty much the only response I was able to give.
"Think about it, Babe, and call me when you want to take me up on the offer," he said- "After all, you could always go on your own, right. Or not at all."
Yeah, right. Not going would mean enduring Val's and my mother's wrath forever. Coming on my own…well, that wasn't quite as bad, though I'd probably get more than an earful from my mother and half the neighborhood wondering why I'm on my own. And did I really want to spend a whole day listening to that?
But then again, Ranger's deal wasn't without risk. I barely made it out sane the last time and was almost certain that this time I wasn't as lucky. He had once said he loved me in his own way and I could probably say the same about me in regards of him. I suspected though that his way was not my way and that we defined love very different.
As if reading my mind I noticed his lips move barley. The untrained eye would have missed it, but I spent the last few years with him. I knew what to look out for. He got up, threw a few bills on the table and nodded at me, leaving with his customized "Babe".
I was sure I'd never agree to that deal.
Well, that was three days ago. Now I was surrounded by mayhem and craziness and found myself wondering if it was already like this now, weeks before the wedding, how would the actual day go? No way would I be able to make it through that day without some back-up, or a bottle of liquor, maybe even both. Of course when Grandma Mazur told me she had a plus one, I knew that was it. No way would I show up to a wedding to which my old -as-time-itself grandmother came with a date. And I know, how pathetic of me that all it took to push me over – and right into Rangers ballpark – was my grandma having a date.
I stared at my phone for what felt hours. Deciding whether to call or not. Eventually I took a large sip of my glass of wine and hit speed dial for his number.
"Yo," I heard after only two rings.
"Yo yourself," I answered, taking a deep breath before going on. "The conditions of the deal the same as our last deal?"
I could hear him smile through the phone without him having to say anything or even seeing him.
"Haven't changed, Babe."
"You don't even know the date yet," I stated the obvious.
"Doesn't matter. I'd make it work, Babe."
How come that was a line that came very easy for Ranger, Mr. No-Commitment – and yet, Morelli, who was talking marriage and children on off days would never be heard saying anything similar?
I bit my lip.
"Where do you want the invite sent to?" I finally said, knowing that was it. I'd agreed to another deal with Ranger. And somehow, once I admitted it, it didn't sound quite as scary.
Bright side, I'd get to be treated to Ranger in a tuxedo again – a sight which itself was maybe already worth the deal. A deal I'd be lucky to make it out of alive this time!
****The End****