With no doubt

Chapter 1

Grieving

Regina had the worst day EVER. First, she woke up late. Then, she realized that there was no more hot water and took a cold shower. After that, she had no time to eat, and once she got outside, she skipped the bus and ended up running to take a taxi, a thing that she couldn't afford these days, arriving 30 minutes late to class, leaving her completely lost during the final hour . Then, Rose told her that she couldn't have lunch with her and she had to eat in a corner with her bad mood as her only companion. And when she came back home, it was only to find that Emma had left Henry in front of a horror movie that was so not acceptable for a ten year old boy. She sent him to bed despite his protests. So, obviously, when Emma came back, she put her fists on her hips and gave her the death look. Her roommate slammed the door behind her, like she did everything : with determination, and like the poor door insulted her. She took off her red jacket, her blond straight hair falling on her shoulder. When she finally faced Regina, the tall girl blinked and opened her eyes big. That was her "what the fuck is it this time?" face.

- Where were you? She asked -or barked.

- I was with Snow, what's the matter?

- I was just trying to remember why we are roommates.

- Because you need someone to afford the rent, and because we are friends.

- I can afford the rent, thank you very much, Miss Swan. And we are not 'friends'. But you said, you would take care of Henry.

Emma's eyes lightened in comprehension. She sighed with relief. Now she knew why Regina was mad at her.

- Look, Regina, I'm sorry, but Snow really needed me. Henry is ten, by the way, I think he can manage himself for a few hours.

- You were out for HOURS?

Emma passed her hand over her face. She looked exhausted, but God knew how much Regina didn't care. She was really harsh when she was angry, and bad days made her angry. Thing was, Regina had a lot of bad days. But still, she didn't seem to get used to it. She was 23, studying law in a really fancy and expensive college, with a dictator as a mom who was killing her with pressure, and the ten year old brother of her dead boyfriend, Daniel, whom she was planning on marrying three years sooner. She used to be foolish and young and hopeful, and incredibly happy. And now, there she was, angry at everything and everyone, cold and cynical. And she took her nerves out on Emma, more because she was just here than because she didn't like her. She did. Kind of. Deep inside. But right now, she was unable to remember it.

- How stupid I was, thinking that you would take care of him! You're just a stubborn irresponsible girl! He was watching a horror movie and is probably gonna have nightmares while you were out with Mary Margaret!

- Ok, first of all, The Gremlins is not a horror movie and he won't have any nightmares.

Emma used her "I'm just tired and I did nothing wrong so find someone else to yell at." tone. That meant that the fight was already over and she didn't even let Regina exteriorise her anger.

- Snow's mom just died. By cancer, Emma said. She needed me, ok? And maybe she could use a bit of your support too, but seems like you're not in the mood to give pep talks. So go to bed, we both need it.

Regina breathed heavily. She hated being like that. Yelling at people with no other reason than that she just wanted to. Needed to? And now, she had to make apologies. She hated that more than anything.

- Sorry... She mumbled.

Emma looked at her with suspicion. Damn, she had good hearing.

- For Snow. For her mom, she corrected.

- That's ok. We're all tense these days. Finals are almost here.

Regina smiled. Not really. Just internally. That was what she liked about Emma (because, now, she remembered that she did like her, indeed) She never minded her bad mood, and she understood her attempts to be nice. It was a good support.

She spent the night thinking about the news. Snow lost her mom... "Snow" was Mary Margaret White's nickname, an affectionate one that her parents gave her when she was just a baby. Her skin was as pale as the snow, and her hair and eyes were as black as the sky of a winter night. Yes, her parents were absolutely not original, but the girl truly looked like Snow White. As much by her physical traits as her personality. The name suited her well. She was Emma's childhood friend and they lived together for a wile, until Mary met her soulmate, David. Back then, Emma felt like she should give them some space and moved in with Regina. She remembered how they met. Emma, being all excited by the really cheap rent, the closeness to the college, the pretty view, and fell in love with the big screen TV and the video game collection. Didn't think you were the Zelda quest kind of girl, she said, and Henry walked in the room at this exact moment. Regina told her, Hey, see that kid ? If you want to live here, you'll have to help me raise him! Anyone else would have run away (and they did, almost twelve people before her) but Emma did something that the others didn't : she talked with Henry. And obviously, she liked him. They chatted about video games and favorite chip flavors, and Emma came into their lives. Of course, at the beginning, Regina was jealous. Henry and Emma had that kind of friendship that she didn't have with him because she already was kind of his mom. She used to hate how he and Emma were close. But it was normal. Henry was everything.

She was with Daniel, Henry's brother, and she loved him more than anything. They met in the graveyard (how romantic !) She was visiting her dad's grave, and he was visiting his parents'. They were two strangers, both crying for the parents they lost a month for her and two weeks ago for them. He was with his little brother, little Henry, who suddenly, choking under his sobs, let go of his brother's hand and ran away. Daniel ran after him, and so did Regina, without thinking, because that kid's eyes were full of tears, just like hers and he was hurt and tried to find a place where he would forget his pain. She and Daniel found the kid in the corner of the street. Daniel started screaming and yelling at him, why did he run away, what if something had happened to him, how wouln't he be able to live if he lost him too ? But the kid wasn't able to explain, he just seemed stunned. And Regina just took Henry's hand and told him, hey, let's buy chocolate cookies and hot milk, and talk, ok? My name is Regina. Five years old Henry dried his eyes and took her hand. Hi, I'm Henry, and this is my brother Daniel. You can call him Dan.

She liked Dan very, very much, and she was really, really fond of Henry too. It took them only a few months to be her entire universe. She was babysitting Henry, and one day he told her that she should marry Daniel, so it would be "more practical" for her to look after him. He shared his wonderful idea with Dan too, and they somehow ended up on a date. The most beautiful day of her life. And that was it. After her dad's death, these two boys were her happy ending. She loved them both.

And one day, someone called her. Daniel's body was found in the Hudson river. A kid had fallen from his bike into the water. Daniel tried to save him, but the current was too strong. They both died. And none of the people there tried to help. That's what you get, trying to be a hero.

Henry only had an uncle out there who could take care of him. But rich businessman Mr. Gold was too busy flying from one country to another to take care of his nephew. So, they made a deal : Regina would take care of Henry and he would pay her for that. Of course, she said yes. Not for the money, but because Henry needed someone to rely on, and that person couldn't be Mr. Gold. Plus, she needed him. They both went through two tragic deaths and were taking care of each other. Of course, her mother was absolutely against her decision. She was always threatening her to tell the police that she was taking care of a child that wasn't hers. She wasn't even sure it was illegal (though she should, cause she was studying law after all) but she knew that if she gave her mom good grades and a bit of money to keep her silent, everything would be fine. Still, she had to take care of Henry, to get good grades and to have a bit of a life. Not easy. That was probably why she needed Emma's help.

She decided to go see Snow in the morning. She knew a bit about mourning. She could help her. Or at least try.

The next day, she was feeling better. She took a shower (cold again, she really had to fix that) and walked to the living room, slash kitchen, slash dinning room (they were both students after all and she saved M. Gold's money for the kid's future), where Henry was eating cereal at the kitchen table, and... Emma drinking coffee? Of course, Emma was a coffee person, but it was Saturday, and she was never awake before eleven on the week-end. She had dark circles around her eyes to prove Regina's observation.

- What's going on? She asked, mocking her. Did you forget what day it is? Do you realize it's Saturday and you woke up at the same time as normal people?

- Good morning to you too, Regina. Actually, I have to help Snow. With the funeral, and stuff... And my first job is to pick up her brother at the airport.

- Snow has a brother? I never heard of that.

- Is his name "dwarf" or something? Joked Henry.

- No, kid, answered Emma. His name is August. He likes to think he's a cursed writer or something. He's traveling all around the world, making debts, breaking hearts. The opposite of his sister. That's why you've never heard of him, she added for her roommate.

- You don't like him, guessed Regina.

- I don't like what he became, rectified the blond, while putting on her jacket. I used to be even closer to him than to Snow. He was a huge liar and I was the only one who always knew when he said the truth. He used to call himself "my bodyguard". But then we grew up and he became that weird guy who liked grunge rock and flirted with every girl... Don't you dare turn into him, kid.

- I won't, promised Henry.

Emma made her way to the door, when Regina remembered something.

- Emma, wait!

Regina went to her and whispered.

- I was planning on going to Snow's, just to see if I can help, you know?

Emma seemed surprised, but she nodded.

- I don't think that taking Henry with me would be a great idea, it could give him bad memories so, could you take him with you?

- Sure. Hey, kid!

Henry turned his head.

- Would you like to meet that bad guy at the airport? Just to be sure of what you shouldn't look like when you get older.

- Yeah!

He jumped from the chair and took his coat.

- Bye, Gina!

- Bye, Henry.

Regina felt overwhelmed. Snow was sobbing, looking at pictures of her mother, trying to find one for the funeral. Ruby, her best friend, who, what a miracle!, wasn't dressed like a pinup, and not even wearing her red lipstick, her black hair messy, and her eyes red, was comforting her by weeping in her shoulder while Snow was crying. David, her perfect boyfriend with perfect white teeth, perfect blond hair in a perfect haircut, was busy being perfect, giving important phone calls to the family. Rose, Regina's best friend, who was tiny, blond, and overactive, was also more friendly and helpful than her, so she obviously was here too, talking to a man in a black suit about flowers. There was also an old man that was probably Snow's uncle, and his wife, with two kids about Henry's age, Snow's cousin apparently. A woman in her late forties grabbed Regina's hand and spent an hour telling her about her beloved cousin, and how sad she was that she was dead. It took her a lot of self control not to push everyone and make her way to Snow, just to tell her "hey, I came, I'm sorry, how sad, now bye!" But she wasn't mean, she just didn't like all of that. The cries, the sorrow, the pain. She liked Mary Margaret, but dealing with people's pain and comforting them wasn't her specialty. She wasn't even able to deal with her own sadness that sometimes came back to her.

- Oh, here you are!

Rose jumped into her arms. She knew Regina hated it, and that was probably why she kept doing it. The cute little blond looked at her, right in the eyes (that was how she analyzed her mood) She seemed to come to the conclusion that she was fine because she started a list of things they had to do.

- We need to go to the church, and organize everything. I took care of the flowers, but we have to find the place for the grave, take the schedules, and pick the song. We also have to see the lawyers for the heritage, and the civil papers, and clean her mom's apartment.

- Wait, what are you talking about? First of all, this is Mary Margaret's business.

- She is sad, Regina, too sad to do anything.

- Well, she will force herself to do what she has to, and she'll do the rest later. Who are we to go to her mother's house and clean it?

Rose seemed to struggle for a moment. But she couldn't fight Regina's logic.

- You're right. But I feel so useless...

- You're not. You are here, and that's the most you can do right now. Don't feel bad, Tinkerbell.

- Don't call me like this...

Tinkerbell was her stupid childhood nickname. That was probably why she and Mary Margaret became friends so fast. Though, Regina was the only one who knew about it. The blond just landed in her life and decided to become her best friend, taking her to morning coffee shops, sharing her secrets with her, talking about celebrity crushes and never forgetting her birthday. She would be the perfect roomate, if she wasn't already living with her strict and religious mom, Melissa Blue.

- Come and see Snow, she could use your exp...

She stopped here, embarrassed.

- Experience in death, I got it.

She found her way to Snow's room, where she was crying on David's shoulder. The brunette's eyes were red, and her nose, pink. She was far away from pretty at this moment, but still, David was looking at her like she was the most beautiful creature he ever saw. Regina felt a bit of jealousy pinching her heart.

- Hey...

They looked at her in confusion. God, that girl was a mess... She looked like someone just knocked her out. And she had the entire afternoon and the night after to take back control.

- How are you feeling?

They shared a surprised look. Ok, she wasn't Snow's closest friend, but still, was it so incredible that she wanted to help?

- Not good...

Snow's voice was small.

- Come on, Mary Margaret! She said, trying to do what they called "cheering up". You have to shake yourself. You need to take care of the funeral. Your mom deserves a beautiful goodbye.

Snow was going to answer, when the door opened. Emma, her hands in the pockets of her jeans, declared that August had arrived.

Snow walked to the living room, leaning on her boyfriend. Henry was here, talking to the boy and the girl who were probably Snow's cousins. And in the middle of the room, a tall, unshaven brown haired guy, was standing straight in his leather jacket. Snow ran to him and hanged herself on his neck. He hugged her tightly, and whispered words of comfort in her ear. Regina immediately thought that if Snow was unable to take care of things, her brother would. Henry came to her and told her, looking at August.

- I don't know why Emma doesn't want me to look like him. He's really cool.

She couldn't help her smile.

- Come on, Henry, say goodbye to Snow's cousins. They need some time with their family.

She was right. August took care of everything. The funeral was beautiful, and Snow managed to make a speech about her mom that made Regina envy her. She didn't think she would be able to describe her mother as "loving", "understanding" and "open minded".

Emma and Regina were drinking hot chocolate in front of a cooking contest on TV, cozy on the cream couch, when Emma spread the news. Snow's brother had decided to stay in his mother's apartment.

- Isn't that a little weird for him? She asked Emma.

- He said he was ok, that he doesn't mind and wants be with his sis. In fact, I don't think he has a choice. He's broke and has nowhere to live.

Regina twisted her mouth. What a shame. His mother died two weeks ago and he was already using her heritage.

- A friend of his is coming to town too. They're gonna live in there.

- What does Snow think about it?

- Nothing for the moment. She really needs him right now.

Regina glanced over at her. Every time they were talking about the guy in the leather jacket, she looked uncomfortable.

- What's your problem with him?

- I don't have a problem with him!

Regina stared at her.

- Okay, she conceded, rolling her eyes. It's just that... I don't know, he has changed.

- We all do.

- I know. I wish we didn't.

Regina looked at her cup of hot chocolate, thinking about how naive and happy she used to be before grief and responsibilities destroyed every bit of innocence she used to have. How it destroyed Henry, so young and yet so old.

- Yeah, me neither.