This is my Blackinnon Secret Santa for Sennen (dorchristmasmeadowes on Tumblr, check her out!). I'm sorry I didn't really include Punk!Blackinnon, I had no idea how to do that... I hope you like it anyways! Have a Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year, enjoy! (Also sorry the title sucks I literally forgot I'd have to put one up there)
The first time they met, he was 18, and she was 21.
He had just graduated from Hogwarts, eager to fight in a war alongside his friends, certain that it would soon all be over.
She had given up her job to dedicate herself to the cause. She'd lost her best friend the week before, and she knew it had only just begun.
He was fascinated by her unapproachable demeanour and distant smiles, she was amused by his devil-may-care attitude and barking laugh.
The first time he had to fight, she was there. She saw the shock in his eyes when a green flash of light flew mere inches past his friend and she saw the way his face hardened at the realization of what they had gotten into. She fired curses at the masked wizards with a grim expression on her face at the memory of a similar green flash hitting Alexa and the picture of her childhood friend falling, falling and hitting the floor, never to get up again.
The first time he saw her eyes light up, they were at the headquarters, just after they returned from a mission. Dementor's Kiss played on the wireless and soon they animatedly discussed their favourite bands. Her face looked more alive than ever before and the beauty of her smile made his heart beat faster. When he joked, she laughed genuinely for the first time in weeks, and he didn't stop smiling for the rest of the night.
The first time she realized just how much she cared about that mischievous boy that didn't seem to have a care in the world, they were patrolling near the house of a muggleborn witch that had been the new target of the Death Eaters. She smiled and he smirked and when their eyes met they stared for too long until suddenly screams filled the night that turned bright as day for a second and he dropped to the ground. She turned around and found herself confronted with three hooded figures, their wands ready. Yet when she pulled out her own, all she could think about was his motionless body laying behind her and hoping, praying, Merlin, please don't let him be dead, please don't. She managed to stun one of their attackers and in the gained second of distraction she blew up the street between them, granting her just enough time to grab him and apparate to the headquarters. Her trembling fingers had just reached for his wrist in hope of feeling a pulse when Fabian or Gideon rushed to her aid and she gratefully let him take over. Backed up against a sofa she watched the twin - it was Gideon, she could tell now - murmur and tap his wand against Sirius' chest. Her vision was blurred from silent tears falling down her cheeks, but her mind was clear. They had been reckless tonight. She couldn't allow herself to become that distracted another time. As soon as he woke up - if he woke up, a sneaky voice in the back of her head told her - whatever they had had to stop. It made them vulnerable, and every sign of vulnerability was deadly in times like these. So when finally, after what felt like an eternity, he opened his eyes and they found hers, she didn't let the relief show on her face and replied with a curt nod to his whispered "thank you. "
It was hard to stay distanced over the next weeks. She had to refrain herself from looking at him and laughing at his jokes and the hurt expression in his face when he realized she was avoiding him burned in her veins. But after a while the pain made place for stoical acceptance of each others' presence, though sometimes he could still feel her eyes linger on him during Order meetings, to be hastily turned away when he looked up.
The first time he kissed her, he had shown up at her door with a bottle of Odgen's Finest in the middle of the night in which he heard of his brother's death. They drank together and she talked about Alexa and he talked about his stupid brother, naive enough to believe his parents, and they both cried. And when she squeezed his hand for comfort he couldn't refrain himself any longer and pressed his lips on hers, and neither of them could stop, neither of them wanted to stop, though they both knew it was wrong. The next morning they woke up with their arms wrapped tightly around each other, tangled in sheets, and he apologised before he hurriedly left, because they both knew it was wrong.
The following weeks were filled with longing glances, both of them unsuccessfully trying to hide them. She could tell he was getting reckless, and he got angry at the way it upset her. So when they finally talked again, it quickly turned into a heated fight, and when their lips silenced the other's yells, they didn't make it to her bed this time. They both still knew it was wrong, but that couldn't stop it from feeling just a little bit right.
They weren't a typical couple. They got scared, fought and broke up, they realized they couldn't be without the other and got back together. They never said how they felt, but when they held each other like they were the only person they had in the world, they knew. They were both broken, and some days the healed their scars, and some days they broke each other even more. Some days they acted as though there was nothing that could stop them, some days they felt like the war was about to be lost. But most days all they needed to make it through was one kiss for goodbye, just in case it was the last, and the hope that it wouldn't be. Most days that hope made them strong enough to fight off all evil, but one day evil was stronger.
When he was 21, and she was 24, she was dead, and he was left heartbroken.