Piccolo's World II
Here it is, Part II. I hope you enjoy this new story, and although the first chapter isn't very long, the story gets much better and I consider it a better work then my first. If you haven't read the first, I recommend you read it to know what is going on. If you don't feel like reading the other one then by all means go ahead and read this one.
---
Chapter I
Piccolo's Office. . . .
Guldo stood in front of Piccolo's desk with a scared look on his face. Piccolo sat in his giant chair with the back turned. All Guldo could see of his boss was the smoke from the cigar he had.
"I am very disappointed of you, Guldo," Piccolo said calmly, "very disappointed. You let that fool Goku into my mansion without putting an effort to stop him. This angers me."
"I'm sorry sir," Guldo apologized.
"Apology NOT accepted. I don't need cowards working for me."
"It won't happen again sir. I-"
"Shut the fuck up!"
Piccolo pushed the red button on his chair and the floor opened up under Guldo. "Fuck!" Guldo exclaimed as he fell in. It was the classic trapdoor trick. The floor closed and Piccolo straightened his tie. He loved to do that.
---
Elsewhere, at Vegeta's convenience store, Goku slept at the counter as usual. Vegeta was asleep in the back room as usual too. Suddenly, the phone next to Vegeta's old and torn recliner began to ring. At first he thought he was dreaming, but then he awoke and realized it really was ringing.
He quickly picked it up. "Hello?"
There was a click. "Hello?" he said again. "Is anyone there? Say something! You're annoying me! I command you to tell me who you are! C'mon fucker! Don't make me come and kill you! Bastard!"
He hung up the phone and stood up angrily. Someone had wasted his time! Someone had to pay!
"Kakarot!" he shouted opening the door. Goku woke up and said, "That'll be 3.95."
"You fucking idiot," Vegeta growled. "Sleeping on the job again huh?"
"I always sleep on the job," Goku replied.
"Is that so? You want to get fired Kakarot? I won't hesitate to fire you!"
Goku yawned. "I barely get paid anyway."
Vegeta stood there for a moment and then said, "Ah, fuck it."
Vegeta went to the freezer and grabbed a jar of grape jelly. "I noticed you weren't here yesterday, Kakarot."
"I went to Piccolo's. . . . I had to kill King Cold."
Vegeta's eyes widened. "You went to Piccolo's?! You know I hate that green bastard!"
Goku shrugged and laid his head back down. Vegeta grabbed another jar of grape jelly and left the store without saying anything else. He had weed on his mind. An hour went by when Burter came in with one of those laser gun arms that many of Freeza's henchmen h ad used. He walked up to the counter and shouted, "This is a stick-up!"
Goku awoke and held his arms up. "Don't shoot."
"Give me the fuckin' money," Burter ordered. He kept looking over his shoulders.
"There is no money."
"Bullshit. Shut the fuck up and open the fucking register."
Goku did so and there was indeed no money. Burter hadn't expected this. "Uhh, I'll just take some bags of chips then. Where the fuck are they?"
Then, without warning, Goku uppercutted Burter. Burter was launched into the ceiling and into the sky. Goku yawned and fell back to sleep."
---
There was endless laughter. Nothing more, nothing less. Piccolo and Cell sat at the table smoking large amounts of cigars. So much cigars the entire room was smoked out.
"Remember those ten days before I fought you guys?" Cell asked.
Piccolo took a hit. "Yeah, all I did was get high the whole time."
Laughter.
"It just so happens I had come across a farmer's weed farm. It's all I did as well."
More laughter.
"That's why I came up with stupid insults," Cell continued. "I was sooo fuckin' stoned!"
"I was too! I mean come on, I would have defeated those Cell Jr. pricks easily if I hadn't smoked those hundred blunts before I got there."
"That's a lot of weed. . . ."
"Yeah, I thought you were going to slaughter us because the rest of the gang didn't like my strategy of attacking you at the same time and ending the fight quickly. So I smoked all the weed I could."
Cell and Piccolo laughed even more. Their eyes were really bloodshot. There wasn't even a line of white in their eyes. For the next fifteen minutes they talked and smoked. Then Piccolo stood up and said, "I got a phone call I need to make."
He walked into his office and closed the door behind him. He next lit a cigar and picked up the phone. Then Piccolo dialed the number and an annoyed voice asked, "Who is it?"
"Ah, Turles, this is Piccolo," Piccolo replied.
Turles' voice changed from annoyance to happiness. "Ah, Mr. Piccolo. It is always a pleasure to speak with you."
"On the contrary. Listen, I need you to come to Earth. I got a job for you."
"Oh? What is it?"
"I will tell you when you arrive. You won't regret it."
"I can arrive in three days."
"Good."
Piccolo hung up the phone and took a hit of his cigar. It was time to remove someone.
*********************
Okay, that's the end of Chapter I. I hope you got a laugh out of it. Also, if you like this you should read Druggieball Z by The Dbz Dealer. It's a funny fic as well.
Here it is, Part II. I hope you enjoy this new story, and although the first chapter isn't very long, the story gets much better and I consider it a better work then my first. If you haven't read the first, I recommend you read it to know what is going on. If you don't feel like reading the other one then by all means go ahead and read this one.
---
Chapter I
Piccolo's Office. . . .
Guldo stood in front of Piccolo's desk with a scared look on his face. Piccolo sat in his giant chair with the back turned. All Guldo could see of his boss was the smoke from the cigar he had.
"I am very disappointed of you, Guldo," Piccolo said calmly, "very disappointed. You let that fool Goku into my mansion without putting an effort to stop him. This angers me."
"I'm sorry sir," Guldo apologized.
"Apology NOT accepted. I don't need cowards working for me."
"It won't happen again sir. I-"
"Shut the fuck up!"
Piccolo pushed the red button on his chair and the floor opened up under Guldo. "Fuck!" Guldo exclaimed as he fell in. It was the classic trapdoor trick. The floor closed and Piccolo straightened his tie. He loved to do that.
---
Elsewhere, at Vegeta's convenience store, Goku slept at the counter as usual. Vegeta was asleep in the back room as usual too. Suddenly, the phone next to Vegeta's old and torn recliner began to ring. At first he thought he was dreaming, but then he awoke and realized it really was ringing.
He quickly picked it up. "Hello?"
There was a click. "Hello?" he said again. "Is anyone there? Say something! You're annoying me! I command you to tell me who you are! C'mon fucker! Don't make me come and kill you! Bastard!"
He hung up the phone and stood up angrily. Someone had wasted his time! Someone had to pay!
"Kakarot!" he shouted opening the door. Goku woke up and said, "That'll be 3.95."
"You fucking idiot," Vegeta growled. "Sleeping on the job again huh?"
"I always sleep on the job," Goku replied.
"Is that so? You want to get fired Kakarot? I won't hesitate to fire you!"
Goku yawned. "I barely get paid anyway."
Vegeta stood there for a moment and then said, "Ah, fuck it."
Vegeta went to the freezer and grabbed a jar of grape jelly. "I noticed you weren't here yesterday, Kakarot."
"I went to Piccolo's. . . . I had to kill King Cold."
Vegeta's eyes widened. "You went to Piccolo's?! You know I hate that green bastard!"
Goku shrugged and laid his head back down. Vegeta grabbed another jar of grape jelly and left the store without saying anything else. He had weed on his mind. An hour went by when Burter came in with one of those laser gun arms that many of Freeza's henchmen h ad used. He walked up to the counter and shouted, "This is a stick-up!"
Goku awoke and held his arms up. "Don't shoot."
"Give me the fuckin' money," Burter ordered. He kept looking over his shoulders.
"There is no money."
"Bullshit. Shut the fuck up and open the fucking register."
Goku did so and there was indeed no money. Burter hadn't expected this. "Uhh, I'll just take some bags of chips then. Where the fuck are they?"
Then, without warning, Goku uppercutted Burter. Burter was launched into the ceiling and into the sky. Goku yawned and fell back to sleep."
---
There was endless laughter. Nothing more, nothing less. Piccolo and Cell sat at the table smoking large amounts of cigars. So much cigars the entire room was smoked out.
"Remember those ten days before I fought you guys?" Cell asked.
Piccolo took a hit. "Yeah, all I did was get high the whole time."
Laughter.
"It just so happens I had come across a farmer's weed farm. It's all I did as well."
More laughter.
"That's why I came up with stupid insults," Cell continued. "I was sooo fuckin' stoned!"
"I was too! I mean come on, I would have defeated those Cell Jr. pricks easily if I hadn't smoked those hundred blunts before I got there."
"That's a lot of weed. . . ."
"Yeah, I thought you were going to slaughter us because the rest of the gang didn't like my strategy of attacking you at the same time and ending the fight quickly. So I smoked all the weed I could."
Cell and Piccolo laughed even more. Their eyes were really bloodshot. There wasn't even a line of white in their eyes. For the next fifteen minutes they talked and smoked. Then Piccolo stood up and said, "I got a phone call I need to make."
He walked into his office and closed the door behind him. He next lit a cigar and picked up the phone. Then Piccolo dialed the number and an annoyed voice asked, "Who is it?"
"Ah, Turles, this is Piccolo," Piccolo replied.
Turles' voice changed from annoyance to happiness. "Ah, Mr. Piccolo. It is always a pleasure to speak with you."
"On the contrary. Listen, I need you to come to Earth. I got a job for you."
"Oh? What is it?"
"I will tell you when you arrive. You won't regret it."
"I can arrive in three days."
"Good."
Piccolo hung up the phone and took a hit of his cigar. It was time to remove someone.
*********************
Okay, that's the end of Chapter I. I hope you got a laugh out of it. Also, if you like this you should read Druggieball Z by The Dbz Dealer. It's a funny fic as well.