Pippa's Story

Minor spoilers for TSFT—Have you ever wondered what was going through Pippa's mind when Gemma and Ann arrived in the realms to take Felicity back after she claimed she wanted to remain there forever with Pippa (ch. 56)? This is the story of Pippa's hope, despair, rejection and a touch of her craziness.

Disclaimer: I do not own AGATB, RA, or TSFT, nor do I own the characters, plotline, or most of the dialogue.

This is the second part of my joint-first fan fiction. All suggestions that will help me better myself as a writer welcome.
Please review.

When Felicity told Pippa she wanted to stay with her in the realms, it was a dream come true. Pippa was lonely in the realms, she engaged in the company of the factory girls out of boredom, because they looked up to her, made her feel powerful. She liked that. She liked being the one to give the orders, instead of following them. She liked to have people gaze at her adoringly to admire her, to tell her she was beautiful. It was her drug.

But she did not hold any affection for them. They suited her needs, so she kept them around and allowed them to think of her as their saviour. But now that Fee was to stay! They could be together always! The idea made Pippa giddy. She was thrilled Felicity offered to stay. Her spirit was uplifted until a single though soured it. Gemma.

She would surely come, to convince Felicity that her idea was madness. Gemma liked to meddle, especially between her and Felicity. In Pippa's mind, she had always been jealous of their closeness, their special bond, the secrets that they shared. Pippa had thought for a short while that she had lost her place in Felicity's affections and had been replaced with Gemma. The one good thing that came out of her entrapment in the realms was that she was once again held higher than Gemma in Felicity's esteem.

Pippa smiles and settles back on her throne. Below her, Bessie and Mae are playing on the floor Felicity is exploring the castle. Revelling in the contentment of it, she helps herself to some berries, allowing the sweet juice to run down her throat. She waits for Gemma's inevitable arrival and her attempt to persuade Felicity to go back. And, of course, she would be accompanied by Ann, who would stand by quietly, not offering an opinion, just watching. It was one of the reasons Pippa liked Ann. She was weak. No one would ever favour Ann over Pippa. When she was with Ann, people paid attention only to Pippa.

As expected, Pippa only had to wait a short time before the arrival of Gemma and Ann. They approach her throne.

'Where is Fee?' Gemma asks. 'Have you seen her?'

Pippa allows herself a smile as Felicity waltzes into the room. She is dressed like a warrior, all in chain mail. She looks at Gemma defiantly. 'I'm here,' she says, 'what do you want?'

'Fee, you can't stay here,' Gemma says.

Of course. So predictable.

Pippa smiles as Felicity turns her back on Gemma and sits beside her. When she finally addresses Gemma again, her tone is defiant. 'Why not?'

Gemma launches into the story she tells too much. The realms are in chaos, the power is unpredictable…excuses. Excuses for leaving Pippa alone for lengthy time periods, excuses for not sharing the power. Pippa grows bored of her tale.

'Nothing has touched us here,' she interrupts smugly. She has power now. Gemma is no longer on top.

Bessie smiles adoringly up at Pippa, her protector. 'Miss Pippa will serve notice.'

Pippa notices how Gemma looks at Bessie and Mae, and then at Pippa, like she wants to slap them. Pippa laughs to herself. Now that she has power too, Gemma feels less special.

Gemma glances up at Pippa and announces the only secret they have ever shared: that Pippa tried to cross over. But couldn't because she ate the berries.

Felicity looks hurt. 'You meant to cross? Without telling me?'

Pippa looks away from Fee, seething. She trusted that Gemma would not tell. Her jealously is becoming increasingly unbearable. Why couldn't she accept that Pippa had a greater destiny, beyond the petty power bestowed upon Gemma. She had a purpose, why couldn't Gemma see that?

'What does that matter? I was saved for a higher purpose.'

Gemma looks ready to spit. She stares at the girls, and to Pippa's eye, it seems she is envious that she does not have a band of followers.

'Where's Wendy?'

Pippa's heart lurches. She feels guilt. No. She pushes the unwelcome emotion deep inside her, not allowing it to come to the surface for the others to see. 'She ran away.' It is a necessary lie. Wendy was weak, unimportant. It desired a sacrifice. What did one less factory girl matter?

Gemma looks angry, demands to know where she is. Pippa's irritation flares. She will no longer be ordered about! Certainly not by one weaker than her!

'She took Wendy to the Winterlands!'

Pippa's head snaps towards Mercy, her irritation mounting to rage. The cheek! After all the help she gave to that girl! She nods at Bessie and Bessie hits Mercy savagely.

' 'At's a bloody lie, Mercy Paxton. Take it back!'

Pippa stares down at the cowering youngster. 'Nobody likes a traitor, Mercy.'

Gemma steps between them, interfering again. 'Pippa, what did you do?'

Pippa's rage swells inside her. 'What you wouldn't,' she spits. 'Poor Gemma, always afraid of her power. Well, not me.'

'Pippa, you didn't make a bargain with those creatures.'

Pippa laughs. Poor ignorant Gemma. Unaware that the power she holds is nothing compared to what she could hold.

For the first time, Felicity looks unsure. 'You didn't.'

Pippa strokes her hand along Felicity's cheek. She doesn't want to lose Fee's support, doesn't want to lose the trust of the only person who matters.

She turns back to Gemma. 'She was a burden.'

'Oh God.' Felicity clutches her stomach and stumbles away.

'No, Fee, it's going to be wonderful.' She smiles at the group, consisting of Bessie, Mae and a trembling Mercy, accumulated at her feet. 'Shall I tell you what I saw? I saw the Order's time ending and something new being born. Their days have passed! Our time is at hand!'

As Pippa knows they will, the factory girls move closer, gazing in devotion. Her loyal, predictable cohorts.

'I heard them whisper,' Pippa continues. 'They told me! You are chosen, you are chosen.' Pippa glowers at Gemma. 'I am the chosen one. I am the way. To follow me, you must be as I am.' Time to show Gemma her rule has passed. She is no longer the admired one! No longer the powerful one! No longer in control!

Pippa grabs the chalice of berries from the tabletop. She holds the chalice towards Bessie. 'Would you follow me, Bessie?'

Bessie nods. 'Yes, miss.' She opens her mouth. Pippa locks her eyes on Felicity, showing her what she must do in order to stay with Pippa forever, as she promised. She lays the berry on Bessie's tongue and Bessie swallows obediently. Pippa watches Felicity as her eyes widen in understanding. Felicity runs forward and knocks the berries from Pippa's hand. They roll onto the floor. Pippa's annoyance is clear on her face. She shoves Felicity and Felicity pushes back hard. A flash of surprise passes over Pippa's eyes before they close and she crumples to the ground, a shrill scream escaping her lips. Her body jerks as it did when she was alive, during her epileptic fits.

Pippa can hear the others calling her, as if from a distance. She struggles against the trembles that overtake her. She was afflicted with this in life because she was weak. She is no longer weak! She is not weak! She is…not…weak! Pippa resists the darkness that envelopes her. Not…weak…

'Pippa! Pippa!' Felicity's cries wake her, and she bends her neck around to see the girls staring at her. Felicity in worry. Bessie, Mae and Mercy in fear.

'It was a fit,' Felicity explains, clutching Pippa closer to her body.

'No!' Pippa breaks away. She feels different inside. Changed, somehow. Something within her has been unlocked, releasing a type of wildness, a sort madness, that threatens to overcome her. She can feel her eyes flashing between violet and milky blue, she can feel her skin becoming harder. She feels the overpowering need for control and deference. To have people comply with her wants. She picks a rolling berry up from the floor and approaches Bessie. Bessie recoils from her, fear in her eyes.

'No!' Pippa screams. Her need for control grows. 'I am special! Chosen! You will not leave me!' She throws her arms out, calling her power. Crazed, she ignites a fire around them all, the heat and flames reaching towards the girls. The factory girls face Pippa in awe and drop to their feet before her, soaking up her presence, and a feeling of satisfaction warms her insides. This is the reverence she deserves! They believe that she truly is chosen, that her will is the will of the realms. The power of their devotion washes over Pippa, exciting her.

'I will lead you to glory. Who will follow?'

Through the folds of authority and control that envelopes Pippa, she sees Fee watching her with an expression of fright, respect and trepidation on her face. She doesn't believe. She doesn't understand. She doesn't see that it wasn't a fit like the ones she had before, but rather one that summoned to her unrestricted power and induced in her a force unlike what she had witnessed before. Why couldn't she see that?

'This was meant to be! This was preordained! This was why I could not cross!' she shouts happily.

'You had a fit,' Felicity shrieks.

'It was a vision!' Pippa shouts.

Felicity slaps Pippa hard, and the sting invites more rage into Pippa. Her face has taken on a demented look. 'You'll be sorry for that,' she swears, motioning to the factory girls.

They do as she wishes and twist the hands of the Spence girls behind their backs until they are forced to cry out in pain. Pippa feels a tug and looks around wildly. She spies Gemma with her eyes closed, determination etched on her face. Pippa feels another tug, stronger this time. She identifies it. Gemma is calling on the power.

'I felt that Gemma, don't try again!'

Bessie spits at the girls, furious that they doubt her master.

Pippa stands before the girls, enjoying that their heads are bent to her, even if forced. A terrible resentment and bitterness builds up inside her. Resentment that she has buried deep inside her since before she became trapped in the realms. Resentment towards her mother, for pressuring Pippa with the worries of the family, forcing her into a marriage she did not want, resentment towards Fee for replacing her so easily, resentment at Gemma for taking her place in the world of the living and for leaving her in the realms. Resentment that now, they will not believe that this is her destiny. This resentment bubbles to the surface as she faces her three friends.

'My whole life I've been ordered what to do! Now I shall give the orders!'

Felicity chokes on tears. She looks up at the terrible beauty that is Pippa. 'Not me,' she says. 'I never ordered you about.'

For a moment, Pippa feels something inside her churn. Her heart leaps and softens, as it did whenever she was in the company of Felicity. A mad desire lights in her. 'Oh Fee.' She bends down towards Fee and presses her lips against her friend's in a way that she never had before. She feels Fee respond and it makes her happy. She had always felt strange sensations when she was around Fee, feelings she knew she must oppress. She had known that Felicity felt them also, but never before had either of them acted on them.

Felicity pulls away, her cheeks burning, and the affection that filled Pippa moments ago is replaced with a calm kind of fury.

'Why do you always go,' she cries, clutching Fee's arm. 'You are always leaving me.'

'I'm not,' Felicity chokes. Pippa sees how she diverts her eyes from Gemma and Ann, perhaps for fear of being judged for what had taken place. Pippa sees that a red blush has formed on Gemma cheeks. She turns back to Felicity.

'Don't you see?' she pleads, 'here we can be free to do as we wish.'

'But I cannot stay.' Felicity's voice quivers as though she wants to cry.

'Yes you can. You know how.'

Felicity shakes her head slightly. Pippa sees her will weakening. She speaks to Felicity quietly. 'You said you loved me. Will you not eat the berries?'

'I do,' Felicity murmurs. 'But—' she breaks off, refusing to continue.

Pippa's face contorts with pain and anger. Rejection washes through her. The rage that has been building up since she came to the realms is now being stoked and fuelled. When she speaks her voice is cold. 'You must choose Fee. You are either with me or against me.'

Pippa opens her palm, revealing the slightly squashed berry. She desperately wants Fee to take it. Pippa hears Gemma's gasp of breath but she doesn't turn to face her. She turns her eyes to Felicity, whose is looking at the berries as though they might bite. Pippa pushes her palm closer to Felicity. She can feel her friend's frustration, her affection, her pride and her confusion, all battling inside her as she struggles to make a decision. She does not answer.

Pippa feels the well of expectation inside her burst as she realizes Felicity will never give her an answer. She feels pinpricks of tears in her milky eyes and she squeezes her hand closed, squashing the berry, feeling the juice run down her wrist. She feels her anger fade inside her. Disappointment rushes in to fill the gap it leaves.

'Leave,' she whispers hoarsely, turning away from the girls who once knew her so well.

The factory girls gaze at Pippa, awaiting instruction. She speaks again in the same hoarse tone. 'Let them go. We do not need unbelievers in our midst.' She parts the flames, creating a small gap for them to leave. She watches as the three girls rise to their feet and turn away. None of them look back. Pippa longs to call out to Felicity, to see her smile one last time, to see the affection in her eyes, but she does not. Instead, she sings. The song makes her forget her pain and hurt and desperation and makes her feel that, for a few moments, she can just be a girl again.

'Oh, I've a love, a true, true love, and my true love lies waiting…'

Please review. All criticism welcome.