//Disclaimer: Who does own them?
!!SPOILERS!!: This fic is set after the first episode of season 8- Dead Doll. Spoilers for this episode, episode 24 season 7 and to the last couple episodes of season 5, so if you haven't seen any of the following, beware. Oh, and there are also mentions of episodes from season 3 (I think it was season 3), when Greg's lab exploded.
A/N: I had just seen the 'Dead Doll' episode and as much as the vindictive, evil part of me enjoyed watching Sara gets beaten and all (she's not one of my favourite characters…), I kept thinking about poor Nicky and how much the whole thing affected him. So this is "my thoughts on paper", so to speak. A little comfort fic. Oh, yeah, and it's a Nick/Greg story. Have fun.
This is my first CSI fic, so be gentle…
This fic is un-beta'd.
As the world falls down
(David Bowie)
..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..
They had found Sara. Him and Sofia, they finally managed to locate her, lying face down in the dust and sand of the Nevadan Desert, after so many hours- they were almost giving up hope.
Nick leaned his head on the cool metal of his locker, trying to chase away the image of the bloodied and injured Sara from his head. Trying to remember her as she was meant to look, her smile, that gap between her front teeth that was either sexy or really disturbing- depending what mood he was on that day. He was trying to focus on hearing her voice, those acerbic tones, low and drawling. Before he met Sara he never imagined anyone could be this cynical, but he had grown to love her voice. It was soothing in a way.
But no matter how much he tried to get his mind off things memories kept on surfacing. Images he really didn't want to see. Memories he almost managed to fool himself into believing he'd forgotten.
"Hey, man. You look like shit, you should really go home." Nick turned his head to see the frown on Warrick's face, the worry in his green eyes, and nodded, not even managing to fake a smile. Pushing himself back from the locker he opened it and grabbed his coat and keys. He wanted to get out of there as soon as possible but on the other hand he really didn't feel like going back to his place where he had nowhere to hide from those memories.
The drive home was surreal to Nick, as he couldn't begin to make sense of the blearing and blipping red and green lights that were littering the way. But when he parked outside his house he let out a small relieved sigh. The last thing he needed was to be pulled over and have his ass hauled back into the police station. He's had enough of that place for quite a while.
The keys slid silently into the keyhole, the doorknob twisted. He walked inside; looking around him as if it was the first time he'd stepped into the room. Dust particles could be seen floating in the air where the light filtered through the half-closed blinds. The place was rather dark, which was usually how Nick liked it but right now the darkness was what he wanted least, terrible thoughts lay in the darkened shadows, waiting to spring on him. Nick strode to the large bay windows and tossed the blinds open, averting his eyes against the sudden sunlight flooding the place after the cool shades.
No matter how tired he was, and he was totally smashed, Nick knew he couldn't fall asleep, because his demons were just waiting for a golden opportunity such as this. Logically he knew he couldn't stall sleep forever but he hoped that if he pushed against it as much as he could he'd pass out into a dreamless realm.
A knock on the door startled Nick from his brooding. He looked around him, wondering where it had come from. Another knock came, this one more urgent and loud. Someone was really anxious for him to answer his door. Nick walked to the door, feeling and looking for all intent like a zombie, dragging his feet with a vacant expression.
As he opened the door Nick looked up to see Greg standing there, his eyes full of concern that had Nick wanting to shake him and make it go away, but he didn't, because Greg had every reason to worry, which was probably why he showed up here in the first place. Without even meaning for it Nick let out a small sob and immediately found himself wrapped in a warm embrace. Nick laid his head on Greg's shoulder and just let his body relax into the touch,
"What took you so long?" He mumbled against the soft skin of Greg's neck, unable to hold himself from inhaling Greg's scent deeply.
"I had a meeting with the shrink. Catherine seems to think that because I'm the youngest and newest CSI I'm more vulnerable." Greg let out a small giggle when Nick's breath tickled his neck and pulled the other man with him into the flat. It will not do to have all of Nick's neighbors seeing the two of them practically cuddling on the door step. Besides, Nick was kinda heavy and Greg decided he needed to bring the other man to a flat surface soon, before they were both knocked off their feet. "Doctor Howard asked me to tell you that you've got an appointment with her tomorrow at ten." Nick hummed, not particularly caring at the moment, because it felt so fucking good to have someone close to him.
Half dragging, half trudging the two somehow made it to the bedroom, falling onto the bed in a mess of tangled limbs. Nick buried his face in Greg's chest, clutching the man tightly to him as if afraid that the young blond will disappear if he'll relinquish his hold on him. Greg sifted his fingers through Nick's hair, worrying his lip and trying to decide what he could say to help Nick. The entire ordeal must have been ten times harder on Nick than on any of the rest of them,
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked quietly, but Nick shook his head, burrowing his face deeper into Greg's T-Shirt.
"No, just want to hold you." He mumbled, his voice muffled by the fabric but Greg heard him nonetheless.
"It's over, baby," He dropped a kiss on Nick's head, "It's ok." Instead of relaxing at the words and tone Greg used Nick's body stiffened and he raised his head,
"No," He said somberly, pulling himself up into a sitting position, "No, it's not… It's, it's a fucking mess!" Greg sighed,
"But Sara is alright!" He cried, frustrated that he was unable to reach out to Nick, "She's going to be just fine."
"She's never going to be the same, not after this." Nick said slowly, his eyes turning to the window, as if he could see through it all the way to Sara's bed in the hospital. Greg laid his hand over Nick's which was resting on his knee,
"Nicky…" He pleaded, hating having to see Nick like that and hating that he couldn't help him fight his demos.
"It's all fucked up!" Nick exploded, his eyes burning with such fierceness that made Greg remove his hand from the man's knee, "How are we supposed to move on? Come to work every day like nothing had happened? When any given second it could be any one of us!"
"That's… That was just a coincidence…" Greg muttered, while he was quite pleased that Nick was sharing, despite his initial aversion, it was still painful to see just how much the events of the last couple of days shook the man up,
"Really? A coincidence?" Nick snarled, "So that psycho bitch just happened to kidnap Sara? Those assholes just happened to bury…" A pained spasm crossed Nick's face and he grinded his teeth, refusing to go on further. Greg immediately reached to him again, trying to pull the distraught man into his arms,
"Nicky, please calm down…" He was practically begging by now, desperate to take the pain away from his lover,
"This team," Nick intoned in a hollow voice, "The people in it, they're my friends, my family. What if something was to happen to Warrick, or Catherine? What if something would happen to you?" Greg gulped at the naked fear in Nick's eyes; he didn't want to think about it- he refused to think about any of this throughout the search for Sara, but now, with the shine in Nick's dark eyes, he was almost cracking under it.
"Me?" He croaked, clearing his throat to regain his footage, "Why would anyone want to kidnap me? I'm no one important." Nick let out a bark of laughter that sounded more like a sob,
"But that's just it!" He cried, barely resisting the temptation of shaking Greg bodily, "Sara wasn't abducted because she was important, but because she was important to Grissom!" Greg racked his hands through his already messy hair, pressing the heels of his palms briefly against his eyes,
"I… Fuck, Nick! I don't know what to say to make you feel better!" He cried, finally losing that false composure he maintained all evening, "Shit happens, really bad shit happens to really good people. I mean, my lab exploded, you were buried alive," Greg prattled on bravely, not letting Nick's distress at his words break his tirade, "We almost died, but neither of us did. I can't promise you that nothing bad will happen to me, or to you, because this is one fucked up world we're leaving in but I'm not going to shut myself away from it because 'something might happen'!" Finishing his little speech Greg fixed his eyes on his lover, his breath labored and waited for Nick's response, a part of him itching for a good fight,
"I know… I just…" Nick slumped back onto the bed, gazing at the ceiling. Greg was right, of course he was, but that still didn't change the way Nick felt about things.
"You really should go see Doctor Howard, she's really good." Greg finally admitted defeat, knowing that he won't be able to draw the reserved Texan from his shell. Nick shrugged,
"Looks like I haven't got much of a choice."
"Nicky…" Nick waved his hand to dismiss the worried tone,
"I'm fine, G, just shaken. I'll be alright." Which Greg probably would have believed too if Nick only looked at him.
"You wanna fuck me?" He asked instead, this time receiving the Texan's undivided attention,
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me." Nick rubbed the back of his neck, it was a tempting offer, no-one could disagree on that, but still…
"Is that your solution to everything?" Greg smiled softly and pulled Nick to lie beside him,
"I just don't know what else I can do to help you…" He confessed, carding his fingers through Nick's hair, "I don't think that my coffee is such a good idea right now…" Nick let himself relax somewhat under the blissfully sweet touch,
"Oh, and whoring yourself to me is?" Greg chuckled, his entire body vibrating,
"Technically I'm not a whore if I don't charge you. I'm just easy…" Nick snorted out in laughter- everyone knew Greg Sanders was the biggest, most notorious flirt in the crime lab, hell possibly in all of Nevada, but from that to being easy there was a very wide stretch, one that Greg never actually crossed. Much to Nick's relief.
Without waiting to be asked twice Nick pounced, pinning Greg to the bed below him, eliciting a surprised yelp from the younger man. Making a huge conscious effort to push the memories of the last 48 hours from his mind Nick started kissing and nipping the soft skin of Greg's neck, letting the taste and smell wash over his senses and wash everything else away. Greg's eyelids dropped closed, he threw his head back to give his lover better access, a soft moan escaping his mouth as Nick's hand found its way under his shirt.
Nick loved everything that was Greg's body, from the soft skin and the taught muscles to the way Greg reacted to his touch. So pliant and responsive it made it really hard for Nick to concentrate on his work most days. Pushing the shirt up, he grinned wickedly as he licked a wide streak along Greg's chest, from his lower left rib all the way up to his collarbone and then blew cold breath on the wet skin. Greg's skin pebbled immidiatly, his left nipple perking up at once. Nick relished the mewling sounds from above him as he prepared to give the other side of Greg's chest the same treatment.
Nick's cell phone started ringing, buzzing loudly against the nightstand where Nick dropped it. Greg's delicious cries stopped at once and he looked down at Nick, his gaze scolding as if it was Nick's fault. Nick sighed and heaved himself up and reached over Greg's prone body for the phone.
"Hello?" He grunted, hoping to let the person on the other side know their call was not much appreciated right at that moment.
"Hey man," Warrick's voice carried all the way over to Greg, who was lying, half buried beneath Nick's body, "Just wanted to know if you made it home alright." Nick rubbed his face,
"Yeah, thanks." A short silence stretched between the two friends as both contemplated what to say next.
"Um, would you like me to come over? I could bring a six pack." Warrick offered, and Nick smiled, he hated letting Warrick down, but he hated missing out on sex with Greg more,
"Nah, thanks man, the Doc gave me some sleeping pills and I popped a couple, so I think I'm ready to drop."
"Right, well. Take care." Warrick's voice sounded slightly disappointed, which had Nick berating himself for lying to his best friend,
"You should head home too; I bet Tina is worried sick."
"Yeah." To Nick it sounded like there was doubt in Warrick's voice but as soon as the thought crossed his mind Warrick regained his footage, "Well, see you the day after tomorrow than."
"Yeah, goodnight." Nick shut the phone, looking at it for a moment, trying to decide whether he did the right thing or not, when he felt Greg's fingers brushing his back,
"I could go if you want to have a couple of beers with your best friend." He said slowly, trying not to make his offer sound like too much like a sacrifice.
"No, it's ok. What I need right now is not my best friend, but my boyfriend." Greg grinned widely and tackled Nick back to the bed, Nick let out a hearty chuckle which quickly turned into a huge yawn. Greg lifted his head and gave Nick a disapproving glare,
"Don't tell me you actually took Doc Robbins' pills!" He complained loudly and Nick gave him a sheepish smile,
"Yeah, no? I don't know, maybe?" He mumbled as he let his head loll to one side, his eyes feeling so heavy it felt nearly impossible to open them again. Greg sat up, looking in pure disbelief at his boyfriend who was one step shy of snoring. Shaking his head he looked at the sprawled man underneath him and rolled his eyes. This was just un-fucking-believable!
Accepting defeat and, to be honest, starting to feel the weariness of the last couple of days sipping into his own body as well, Greg laid back down, pulling Nick to him so that they could cuddle properly, and dropped an affectionate kiss on the Texan's head,
"I love you, even if you are the world's biggest cock-tease." He muttered, smiling softly and letting sleep claim him as well. The last thing Greg was aware of was Nick's muttering that he loved him too.
THE END
A/N: So, what do you think?