My Girlfriend Exploded

Author's note: Sorry I wrote this when I was drunk. I was inspired by a song called Meine Ex(plodierte Freundin) by Die Ärzte. I do not own Death Note, so please don't sue. Thanks.

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My Girlfriend Exploded

I swear this was the weirdest thing ever.

I was lying in bed next to my girlfriend and then suddenly she was lying everywhere.

I must admit it was my fault. How is that possible you may ask?

Well it's very simple. You see I own this notebook. It's called the Death Note. The human whose name you write in this notebook shall die. If you do not specify the cause of death, the human will die of a heart attack after 40 seconds have passed of writing the name in the notebook.

So what? You may ask. Okay well, you see I was getting very annoyed with my girlfriend and I decided to write her name in the notebook. Even worse, I decided to write down the details of her death in the English language. You see I had not been practicing my English as I should have. I figured that using English in my Death Note would have been ideal. Boy was I wrong. Maybe I should have checked on the words I was using.

I thought I wrote: Misa Amane. Accident. Death by explosion at 11:00 hour.

In reality, I wrote the following words: Misa Amane. Accident. Death by exploding at 11:00 hour.

So I was lying in bed with her at 11:00 hour and suddenly she was lying everywhere.

I don't get it!!

How was this possible?!

Why me?

I mean my first girlfriend spontaneously combusted.

My second girlfriend was kidnapped by aliens.

My third girlfriend was petrified into rock solid material. I think she's still in some museum somewhere in Japan.

I mean those were unintentional. I mean, yes I did want to kill them. BUT, I had carefully written down details of their death in English. Or at least I thought I did.

What had actually happened was rather different from what I had intended to write.

But I swear. What happened to Misa Amane was an accident!

Now my Misa Amane is in pieces everywhere.

Does this mean that every girl who falls in love with me is just fated to some horrible doom?

Maybe I should stop using English in my Death Note.

Even worse, the Task Force and I were about to go meet this little brat named Near at 13:00 hour. So it was very awkward when Matsuda walked in on us. Or rather when Matsuda walked in on me and pieces of my now ex-girlfriend.

Gulp! What do I say?

"Uh, hello there, Matsuda."

"..."