First attempt in writing a story, reviews would be awesome so I know if I'm wasting my time here or not. It's in the middle of the night so don't hate me for spelling/grammatical mistakes please. Hope you guys like it!
I keep walking. Trying to push the thought away because otherwise I'd be on my way to the airport in no second. The best idea is probably a bar, which is actually not a good idea at all considering my last few visits in bars.
I notice that it's not cold anymore. Even though it's whiskey with ice that is currently running down my throat. It's just too tempting to give in and god knows I never had the strength to do what's right. At least when it comes to my own well being.
Yes. I went to the bar. Just in case you were wondering. I can feel someone staring me and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Although it's nice to be seen for once, at least from someone who's not a criminal.
"Hi. Can I buy you a drink?" He smiles and all I want to do is punch in his face because he's actually quite handsome.
"Haven't had the best night. Maybe another time." I say with a simple smile.
"Come on. Maybe I can make your night a little better. A pretty girl shouldn't be drinking alone." He smiles and looks me straight in the eye. And there it is.
Just something he would've said. And here I am slightly buzzed and not able to stop myself from doing what I shouldn't.
I'm not saying this is something I usually do. Hell I haven't even touched another man since I left that night. But there is something in his eyes and maybe even in the way he's talking to me which makes it hard for me to say no. Because for one moment I just allow myself to pretend it's him.
"It's late I should go." I say. Well, at this point I'm sure it's just a mumble.
"What? But it's freezing outside." He says with a cheeky smile.
"You know. I don't think it'll be warmer outside if I stay longer." I say.
"True. One last round?" He says eyeing me intensely a grin spreading across his face. But I just shake my head while I try to push the though of him out of my head.
"Then let me at least take you out on a date next week." He's almost begging.
"I'll think about it." I say just to be nice. I mean it's been a year since I started this new life but my old one for sure still haunts me.
"Alright!" He has that excited smile on his face and I already hate myself for giving him hope.
"Let me call you an uber I want you to get home safely." He says and it's just like another punch in the face because he actually seems like a decent guy.
"That's my ride." I say hoping my voice doesn't betray me and tells him how relieved I actually am to leave. I can't handle the looks he's giving me. Like it's the beginning of something. Like I'm something new and exciting. Someone worthy. When in fact I feel like I'm still stuck in another story that hasn't ended yet. Although my head knows that's bullshit. My heart just can't let go yet.
And let's not forget the fact that I'm also a fucked up ex junky, who fights the urge to just give in every single fucking day.
Yeah I know pretty worthy huh?
"Okay I guess I'll see you next week then?" He says and I immediately snap back into the present.
"Yes I...uh I'll call you." I force a smile.
"Oh, definitely." He says and it that moment I froze. I can't move or say anything when I notice that he leans in and presses his lips on mine.
'Oh definitely.'
That's all it takes. I'm starting to breath heavy and my legs feel like they're about lose contact to the floor. And him kissing me at this exact moment for sure wasn't the reason.
I pull away from him, my eyes start to burn and I know what's about to happen. I turn around and open the door as fast as I can. I need to get out of here.
"Hey are... is everything...I mean did I do anything wrong?" His voice is shaking. Poor guy probably thinks he offended me.
"All good I'll text." I say closing the door quickly. Ready to finally get home.
Arriving at home I tell myself I just need some sleep. But I also know he's about to call. Like a clockwork. Every day. And even though I only answered the call a handful of times over the past year, every 3 months to be exact, and always ended it after the small talk, I know I have to really talk to him eventually. And the fact that I left exactly a year ago today, feels like a good reason to finally do that.
I get myself another beer because I can't be sober for this. Sit on the couch and stare at my phone and wait until starts ringing at exactly 11:30pm like every day.
Because if there is one thing that Jay Halstead is.
It's consistent.
So I find myself picking up the phone at 11:30 pm.
"Erin?" He's surprised.
"Hey." I whisper almost unable to hear it myself.
Okay so I have never written a story before and this was my first attempt. Let me know what you think and if you want me to continue or if I should just stop. Lol. If you got this far. Thank you for reading and giving it a shot! ;)