I wrote this fic earlier and put it on then I thought I might just as well place it here. I put it in chapters there ,..but I put it all up at once her so it might be a bit long..next chapters will be added...
I hope you enjoy reading it,..flashback and lyrics are in italics.
With You
Mike was about ready to go when he looked out the window. He felt a sting of jealousy when he saw Susan walking out of her house, followed by Ian and Julie. They all got in the car and drove of. Mike sighed,..off course she was going to be there tonight,..and lately wherever she went, that boyfriend of hers, was with her.
Ever since he had the hypnotherapy, he remembered more and more about their past together. And it hurt him more every day, not to be able to act by his feelings. She'd told him a few weeks ago, to that it would be better if they would not see each other anymore. And as much as it hurt him,..he tried to obey her request.
But tonight,..maybe there was a chance they'd talk? He hoped for it, there were so many things he wanted to tell her. He reached for his keys,..took a deep breath and left the house. He drove up to the pizza place, parked his car and walked in. And as if fate had planned it,..he almost bumped into her. He stared at her for a moment and then blurted out the first thing that came to his mind.
"The place came out great huh?" He lightly said, trying to hide the nervous feeling inside.
"It sure did", she answered shortly, looking over at Ian. She wanted to walk by him, but he didn't want their talk to end so he tried again.
"It's like, err,.. the whole street is here", he smiled at her, happy to see she turned around.
"Yeah", she looked over her shoulder again.
"Except for Orson…he fell of a roof,…do you know anything about that?" She suddenly asked him. Mike was to stunned for a moment to answer.
"Why would you think that?" He answered, trying to win some time.
"I heard you talking to Carlos,..it's no question…", she looked at him fiercely.
"Well err,..I,..I can't talk about it here….It's complicated..", Mike answered. Hoping she would believe him, trust him like she always had,..ask him to explain things later.
"It always is with you", she coldly answered, turning around and walking to Ian,..leaving him standing there.
Mike was to stunned to react. Was that Susan? All the time he was in jail for murder she stood by him,..believed in him like no one would,..and now,…what had changed? He shook his head and walked over to the bar, still absorbed in his thoughts. She heard him and Carlos talk? When was that? Maybe she heard them, after Carlos called the hospital, but they were inside the house…
Had she come to his house for some reason,..maybe because she wanted to talk? He couldn't get things clear,..he just knew he wanted her to know what happened. Maybe he could just ask her, later,..to listen to him. And maybe he could tell her then he remembered. She would be happy about that,..learning he didn't kill Monique,..and that he also could recall they're time together.
He leaned against the wall,..looking at all the faces,..that had become familiar faces again. Yes,..he would wait for a moment Susan was alone, and then he would tell her everything. Edie made a toast to the Scavo's and the Tom held a lovely speech. Mike was about to get a drink when he heard Ian's voice.
"Actually as long as everybody has they're glasses raised, I have something,..that I would like to say..". Mike turned his head, and felt a sickening feeling in his stomach.
"Oh no,..please don't let him do that now..", he thought in silence. He could hardly look at them together, and the feeling got even stronger when Ian got on his knee.
"Susan Mayer,..would you make me the happiest man in the world and be my wife?"
"Absolutely yes", she answered him smiling, wrapping her arms around him.
Mike felt like the ground beneath him disappeared. He was too late,..TOO LATE!! She was going to marry someone else,..just when he rediscovered all the love he had for her…
He felt himself being overwhelmed by a sadness he'd never felt before. He had to swallow, to hold back the tears he felt welling up. It was all over now,…he had been too late. Slowly he turned around,..not able to watch the scenery any longer.
Mike turned the little box over and over again in his hand. Afraid to open it,..and look at something that had brought him so much joy a year ago. They had called from the hospital that morning, telling him they still had some of his belongings there, and they thought at least one item was very important to him. When he got there and the nurse handed him the velvet box,..
Slowly he opened it, carefully taking out the ring. He turned it in his hands as if he wanted to make sure it really was his ring. He knew there was proof of that inside the ring. He held it up in front of his eyes and read the words, he once chose so carefully:
"Too Susan, the love of my life, Mike".
He sighed deeply,…knowing those words were still real to him,…but not to her…
"He buddy, what's with the sad face?" Carlos said as he entered the house. Looking at the item he was holding in his hands he raised his eyebrow.
"Oh I get it,..man that must have been one heck of a night for you yesterday, huh?" He hit him on the shoulder, trying to show his compassion.
"So,…what are you going to do with it?" Carlos asked.
"I don't know,..there's no use in keeping it anymore,.." Mike answered cynically.
"Maybe I can return it,..I mean if they polish it they may be able to get out the engraving. I can't afford myself holding on to it, as some kind of souvenir…"
Carlos looked at him again,..slowly nodding his head.
"Maybe you should do it today then,..get it over with,..start over again..".
Mike turned and looked at him for a minute. Then he grabbed his keys.
"You're right,..just to get it over with.." he said, walking out the door. Mike drove to the jewelry store, trying to block out memories of the last time he went there, and how different his feelings were then. He even thought it was funny for a moment. He had been wanting to remember for so long and now he was blocking out certain memories.
The little bell, attached to the door, rang as he entered the store. A woman walked up from behind the counter.
"Hello,..how can I help you?" She politely asked. Mike reached in his pocket, taking out the little box. He placed it on the counter.
"I want to return this.." he said, his voice sounding a little choked.
The woman looked at him for a moment, then she opened the box. She carefully took out the ring and looked at it. She noticed the engraving,..giving him a caring look.
"Things didn't quite go as you planned, huh?" She kindly said.
Mike bit his lower lip for a moment.
"You can say that again…" he painfully answered, running his hand through his hair.
"There's no hope,..things may eventually work out?" The woman asked him.
'Well,..another man proposed to her last night and she accepted,..so that seems pretty final to me". Mike didn't know why but suddenly he told the woman about his accident, and everything that happened. She thought for a moment after he'd finished.
"Well,..I say, she isn't married yet…" she smiled at him. "I think you should try everything to let her know how you feel,..and if she still doesn't want to except this ring,..you can always bring it back then. Don't give up so easily,..I've seen many remarkable things happen before! That's one of the nice things working in a store like this." She winked at him placing the ring back in the box and handing it to him. Mike was to overwhelmed to react, and walked out of the store, the ring back in his pocket again.
"Hey guys poker game at the restaurant this Friday! Be there at 8!" Tom left a message on Mike's machine. Carlos looked at Mike, rubbing his hands together.
"Cool,..it's been so long since I played a good game of poker! You are coming too right?"
Mike made a weird face, and laughed a little.
"Depends on who's coming too, I guess. Do you think Tom will invite Orson?"
"I think so.." Carlos replied. "But he didn't press charges against you, so he probably didn't tell the cops you were there on the roof too. It will be awkward,..but hey, it's a poker game! You could practice on your poker face!" Carlos laughed at his own joke, making Mike shaking his head.
"You are nuts!" He responded. But then he stopped.
"You don't think Tom invited Ian too, do you…because then a poker face will not be enough, I would need a mask to hide my real feelings about him!" Mike angrily said.
"I don't know, I haven't talked to Tom either. Oh come on, you've got to come,..stop ruining your life because of a woman! You've got to live man!" Carlos walked upstairs leaving Mike with his own thoughts.
"Ok, let's play some poker!" Tom yelled, as he dealt the cards. Mike was feeling a bit more relieved. He had a little conversation with Orson, who promised him not to tell anyone about what happened on the roof. He also explained his mothers guilt, concerning Monique's death. But what relieved him even more was the fact apparently Tom hadn't invited Ian.
"Mike could you hand me another beer?" Carlos asked. Mike got up to get it, when he heard the door open again.
"Hi, I'm sorry I am late,..I hope not to late?" Ian asked as he entered the restaurant.
Mike hadn't moved, and looked angry at Ian and then at Tom, who gave him an apologizing look.
While Mike walked up to the bar to get a beer for Carlos, thoughts were racing through his head. Maybe this was his chance to make it clear to Ian, he wasn't out of the picture yet. He walked back to the table, pretending to ignore Ian.
"Ok,..", Tom looked at Mike who was sitting next to him. "Are you gonna, Call, Raise or Fond?" Mike looked at his cards and then to Ian, who was sitting on the other side of him.
"I'm gonna raise…" he answered, placing his chips in the middle, grinning at Ian. They played a few more rounds until Orson, Carlos and Tom had to pass.
"I guess that just leaves you and me then", Mike smirked, checking his cards again.
"So,..what are you gonna do,..". He looked at Ian, his eyes full of confidence.
"Are you going to give up? If you knew what I'm holding back,…it might be wise..to do so..".
"Why do I get the feeling we aren't talking about poker anymore?" Ian asked, looking angry at Mike. Mike leaned forward, crossing his arms on the back of the chair, grinning at Ian. "Those are your words,..if you think so,..what am I talking about, huh?" He said smoothly.
"You are talking about Susan and you know it!" Ian angrily slammed his cards on the table, shoving his seat backwards.
"When are you going to except the fact she doesn't love you anymore? She loves ME! We're getting married, so get used to it!" Ian harshly responded.
"Maybe,..you aren't married yet.." Mike said calmly. Carlos and Tom were looking at each other from across the table. Both silently wondering what was going on.
"She did say to me once, she could never love any one like she loved me…" Mike continued. "I believe that was a few weeks before I was going to propose to her!"
Ian's eyes grew big, blinking his eyes rapidly.
"How,..do you know..that,.." he mumbled, surprised by Mike's comment.
"Well when you get your memory back, usually you also remember the good things," Mike answered. Ian was shocked by his answer, Mike could see it in his eyes.
"Ehm,..guys,..I believe we came her to play poker?" Tom interrupted them, before they could go any further. Mike and Ian picked up there cards again, but Mike couldn't help, giving Ian a satisfied look.
"I think I'll call you," Mike said, having raised the bet once more. Ian smiled as he laid down his cards.
"A Full House!" He glared at Mike. Mike nodded impressed, but then laid down his own.
"Very impressive,… too bad I happen to have a Royal Flush!" Mike grinned, drawing the chips to him.
"So who will deal next?" He asked, still enjoying his little triumph over Ian.
Mike was pacing through his living room. Holding a piece of paper in his hand. He knew Ian was even watching him more carefully, to make sure he didn't talk to Susan alone.
Since he revealed he had his memory back, Ian had spend even more time at Susan's.
So Mike thought of a plan to tell Susan his true feelings, without making Ian suspicious.
The best way to do that was writing her a letter, surely Ian wouldn't be opening her mail also.
Writing hadn't been his strongest side, but he had to do it right this time,..so much depended on it. He sat down at the table again and decided to just let his heart speak.
He would explain her everything, and if she didn't want him back after that,..it was really over. He started writing,..first it was hard but then the words were just flowing out.
After he'd finished he waited until it was dark, and walked over to put the letter in her mailbox. He was about to walk back when her front door opened and both Ian and Susan stepped out. He quickly hid himself behind the garage wall.
"I'll be back in two days.." he heard Ian say. "And then we can plan our wedding!" He hugged Susan, and kissed her quickly.
"I still don't get, why you want to rush things like that,..I mean how can you expect me to look perfect if I only have a month", Susan pouted. Mike raised his eyebrows. One month! Ian sure got scared, if he wanted to rush things. He saw Ian laughing and finally he got in his car and drove off. Hmm,..so Ian would be gone for two days…at least Susan would be able to read his letter without being 'disturbed'.
The next day Mike was outside, washing his car, his eyes frequently wondering of to the house across the street. She hadn't been out to get the mail yet. A lot of noise disturbed his thoughts. Edie's nephew Austin, drove by on his motorcycle, and stopped in front of Susan's house. Julie ran out and hopped on the back, followed by an angry Susan.
"You can't go with that guy,..I,..I forbid you,..you'll be grounded for life!!" He heard her yell. Julie didn't seem to listen to her mother's words and made Austin drive off. Susan angrily kicked against a flowerpot, hurting her toe doing it. He watched as she jumped around on one foot, and barely could hide a smile. He loved her clumsy side.
She got inside her house again, and Mike continued washing his car. 20 Minutes later she rushed out again, quickly opening the mailbox. He saw her taking out his letter, looking at it for a moment. Then she put the letter in her purse and got in her car. Mike felt a little disappointed because she didn't read it yet, but maybe she would later.
It was almost getting dark, when Mike saw the flashing lights of a police car reflected in his window. Curious what was going on this time he walked outside, on to his porch. He sort of felt relieved when they drove by his house, but immediately got scared again as they stopped in front of Susan's house. Quickly he checked, and sighed when he saw her car on the driveway.
The cops walked up to her house and knocked on her door. Mike got a weird feeling in his stomach, deciding no matter what Susan said about having no contact, she might need him. He walked up closer to her house, still observing her house. The cops were talking to Susan now, and from the look on her face he could tell it wasn't good news.
"Omg,..it can't be,..I warned her!" He heard Susan scream. She started to cry,..and Mike had to hold himself back from running over to her.
"Is there someone who can drive you to the hospital? I don't think you are capable of driving yourself now," one of the cops asked her. Susan shook her head.
"I could drive you up there.." Mike suddenly heard himself say. The three faces turned to him, as he found himself standing on the sidewalk in front of her house.
"Mike!,..I,..don't think,..It would be.." Susan started, but Mike raised his hand.
"Please,..you've done so much for me,..please let me do this in return, as a friend,..you know I care about Julie too!"
Susan decided it was the only way she would be with Julie fast,..so she nodded her head.
"I'll get my car,..you get your coat and stuff, I'll be right there". Mike turned around and ran to his house, quickly grabbing his car keys. He got in his car and drove to Susan's house, she just closed the door behind her, and got in his car.
As they drove to the hospital Susan filled Mike in, about what happened to Julie. The cops told her that she and Austin had an accident with the motorcycle. It wasn't his fault, a car drove through the red light and hit them from the side. He could see by the restless moving of her hands, she had a hard time controlling her feelings. He gently laid his hand on hers, squeezing it softly, just to reassure her. And for the first time in weeks she didn't pull back, but gave him a little smile.
They were sitting in the waiting room for more than an hour now. A doctor came to inform them Julie was all right, but she was in surgery because of a broken leg and she had a light concussion. Austin had been picked up earlier by Edie,..he had been lucky. The car hadn't hit him, he only had a few bruises. Susan and he hadn't talked much.
"Would you like some coffee?" Mike asked, trying to break the silence. Susan looked at him, a tired look in her eyes.
"Yes,..I would like that,..but I can get it myself.." she responded, getting up half.
He laid his hand on her shoulder, pushing her back.
"You just sit here,..I could use the walk", he answered. But after he got up, she followed him.
"I think it will be nice to stretch my legs too," she said. They walked through the silent hallway of the hospital, towards the coffee machine.
"Boy I really got familiar with the hospital sent, all those months I've been here,..when you were .." she suddenly stopped, ashamed she brought up that time again.
"Please,..it's ok,..you can talk about it.." Mike kindly answered. He took a plastic cup and filled it with coffee, handing it to her.
"I've always hated hospitals. Boy that time I got shot, and I had to be here on valentines day..". Mike suddenly looked at Susan, who had dropped her coffee cup. She was staring at him like she was looking at a ghost.
All of a sudden Mike realized what made her upset, he just made it clear to her he remembered. Her hand was still shacking when he handed her a new cup of coffee, and guided her to the chairs in the hallway.
"I'm sorry,..I wasn't thinking when I said that,..I wanted you to find out, in a more calming way. That's why I wrote you the letter…".
Susan looked at him, like she didn't quite understood him, but then she lifted up her purse and took out the envelope.
"You mean this one,..this is your letter?" Susan held it up. Mike nodded his head.
Susan wanted to open the letter, but Mike laid his hand on hers.
"Please,..don't read it now, not with me sitting here,..read it when you're alone,.." he whispered.
A nurse came walking up to them.
"Ms. Mayer?" she asked, and Susan quickly got up.
"Yes, that's me,..how's Julie,..is she going to be all right?" She asked the nurse, while they walked back to the waiting room.
"She's gonna be fine,..they just rolled her out of the ER, so she is still asleep. You can see her in a minute."
Susan was so happy she quickly hugged Mike, but realizing what she was doing made her pull back again. He was surprised by her action, enjoyed the feeling of her embrace.
"So if you want you can go see her, and stay with her when she wakes up," the nurse looked at them both.
"Err,..I think I'll stay here,..you go though", Mike said to Susan. She hesitated for a minute, but when he nodded his head she followed the nurse.
Susan sat down by Julie's bed, who was still asleep. The nurse had told her it might take a while before she'd wake up, since she also had the minor concussion. Susan gently caressed Julie's cheek, but it wasn't until she wanted to lift the blanket a little higher, she noticed the envelope, she still held in her hand. Mike's letter…
Dear Susan,
I don't know where to start,..so much has happened the past year. I used to be able to tell you everything,…and now I don't even know what to say when I see you.
I just want you to know that I remember Susan,..I remember everything we shared together. I wanted to tell you that, the night at the pizza place, but instead you got mad at me, because I wasn't honest with you.
So I decided to be honest with you in this letter,..please… read it.
I didn't kill Monique,..maybe you found out about that by now. I just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. But I was so mad at Orson, for letting me take the blame for it, that I had to confront him with it. That's what happened on the roof,..we had a fight, and he fell over the edge,..I never pushed him.
I had to get things straight again, before I could tell you I remembered,..but now…
I wish I had done that first, maybe then, things would have gone differently. I was too late Susan,..that night at the pizza place,..and my world tumbled down. I had just discovered my feelings for you again,.I was ready to share them with you.
Now I know this is my only chance to do that. I can't say it to you in person,..so I decided to write you. I still love you Susan,..not just because of the memories coming back, but also because of the way you treated me when I was in jail. You made me fall in love with you again..
Susan,.. if you could only give me a chance to show you I still love you..I know I'll do my best, to make you happy the rest of my life. If you look in the envelope you'll find something in there, that means a great deal to me. I hope to see you wear it someday,..because then I know you'll be mine..forever…
I love you,
Mike
Susan lowered the letter, swallowing away her emotions. Curious about what was in the envelope she opened it again and looked inside. She saw something sparkle, and carefully took it out. She was totally amazed by the item she held in her hand.
It was an engagement ring! Was this the one, he once bought for her,..had he been holding on to it all the time?
She turned it around in her hand once more, until she noticed an engraving was on the inside. She couldn't keep herself from reading it.
"To Susan, the love of my life, Mike".
She read, and a big sigh escaped her mouth. Why did this happen now,..when she just thought she had sorted everything out.
She was about to get up, to walk to the waiting room and talk to Mike, when Julie started to moan. Still holding the ring, Susan got up and bended over Julie.
"Julie,..are you ok,..I'm here", she softly said. Julie opened her eyes a little, and looked at her mother.
"I'm…thirsty.." she rasped out.
Susan looked around and saw a can of water standing on a table. Walking over there she look at the ring, still in her hand, and tried to think of a safe place to put it. She thought of her pocket, but she found it to dangerous. Then she looked at her hand, considering if she would put it on her finger,..but that would be weird. Finally she decided to hang it on her necklace, it would be safe there. She loosened the fine golden jewelry and placed the ring on it.
After Julie was wheeled in to a room,..Susan thought of Mike all of a sudden. He was still waiting for her in the waiting room! Noticing Julie was asleep again, she quickly walked back to the waiting room,..to find it empty. She walked over to the nurses desk.
"I'm sorry,..but there was a man, err waiting there,..did he leave?" Susan asked.
"Are you Susan Mayer?" The nurse asked. Susan nodded yes, and the nurse handed her a note. She recognized the handwriting, and opened it.
"Susan,..I couldn't stay,..please forgive me,..you can take a cab home,.I left some money with the nurse, Mike."
Susan couldn't explain why a feeling of disappointment came over her. She wasn't even sure how to react to his letter, why did she want him to be waiting for her here?
After Mike got home he couldn't go to bed, he was to restless, although it was the middle of the night. He grabbed a beer out of the fridge and sat down on his couch.
Would Susan have read his letter by now? Or was she too busy taking care of Julie?
He wondered if he made the right decision, adding the ring to it. He hoped it wouldn't make her feel like he was putting pressure on her.
Still it was the only way to let her know how he felt about her, without Ian interfering. She could save his letter, hide it,..burn it,..but she could never say she didn't know how he felt. Now al he could do was wait,..he had made his move,..it was Susan's turn now.
After sitting there a little while longer he decided to go to bed. Looking over to her house he still saw no lights on, which meant she was still at the hospital.
"I hope everything works out for us..", he whispered in the dark.
The next day he got up, and walked outside to get the morning paper. A taxi pulled up, and stopped at Susan's house. He saw her getting out, slowly walking towards her front door. He doubted for a moment if he should go after her,..he wanted to know how Julie was. He quickly ran over, shouting her name.
She stopped, when she heard him yell, and waited for him.
"Hi," he greeted her. "How's Julie?" He quickly asked before she could say anything.
"Julie is fine..," Susan answered,..looking tired. She looked at him differently, he could tell. She must have read the letter, because for a moment he saw something in her eyes he hadn't seen in a long time. But then a shade got over her face and it was gone again.
"Why,..didn't you tell me earlier,..Why did you wait?" She whispered.
"I thought I explained that to you,..I couldn't face you,..not until everything was solved…". Mike answered her, carefully weighing his words.
"Why do you always have to make things so complicated?" she asked, repeating the words she used before. Mike ran his hand through his hair.
"I don't want things to be complicated, and I think things aren't. In fact, I think it's very simple,..I still love you,..do you still have feelings for me?"
She wanted to answer him, but her phone rang. When she checked the screen to see who it was, he could already tell it was Ian. She looked at him,..a tired look in her eyes, and he decided not to pressure her. He turned around and walked back to his house, while he heard her talk to Ian.
"HI,..no I'm ok,..yeah Julie is fine too,..ok see you then,..I miss you too". The words still echoed in his head when he entered his house again.
Susan hadn't moved from her seat, in which she sat down, when she entered her house. Last night had just rocked her world upside down. Julie, being in the hospital,..and Susan felt like she slowly was lousing her grip on her. And then there was Mike's letter…she never thought things would ever be as complicated as this. She leaned her head against the back of the seat.
Absentmindedly her fingers moved to the ring she still wore around her neck, touching it,.. turning it around and around. And like that she fell asleep,..the ring still secure in her hand. And that was how Ian found her, curled up in the seat, sound asleep.
He leaned forward, gently kissing her on her cheek. Slowly she opened her eyes.
She gave him a little smile, blinking her eyes to wake up.
Still looking at Ian, she felt the little jewelry in her hand. Trying not to draw to much attention to it she slid it inside her blouse, and got up.
"What are you doing here, back already?" She asked Ian as she walked to the sink and got herself a glass of water.
"Well, I'm happy to see you to dear!" Ian playfully answered. "I just thought with everything going on with Julie, I'd better be here with you, so I got back early".
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to be rude, I think it's the lack of sleep", Susan apologized.
"So tell me everything what happened, how's Julie? Does she need to stay in the hospital much longer?" Ian fired the questions at her. Susan thought for a minute how to handle this. Should she tell Ian, Mike was the one who drove her to the hospital,..or was it better not to tell him that.
She knew he was still very jealous, and she could understand where that was coming from. She decided not to tell him, at least not for now. No one else knew about it, so there was no danger for her little secret to come out. After she told Ian Julie would be ok, and they could pick her up the other day, she felt her stomach growl. She hadn't had anything to eat since last night.
"Ok,..I believe my body is in need for some food", she smiled. There were some leftovers from the Chinese food she had yesterday. Ian and she enjoyed the quick meal, and the calm atmosphere. After they had finished, Susan wanted to clean the table. Getting a cloth, she leaned forward to wipe the table,..when suddenly her necklace popped out of her blouse.
The look on Ian's face was indescribable. His eyes grew big, at the sight of the ring.
"What on earth are you doing with THAT ring? When did you see Mike?" Ian yelled angry.
Susan was shocked and surprised at the same time.
"How do you know Mike gave this ring to me?" She asked Ian, taking a few steps back until she leaned against the counter.
"It doesn't matter the point is why do you wear his engagement ring around your neck?"
Ian roughly moved his seat back and walked towards her.
"It's a long story,..it doesn't mean anything,..I just needed a place to keep it safe..", Susan mumbled. Ian crossed his arms and a cynical smile appeared on his face.
"Why,..doesn't Mike have a safe to put it in? Come on Susan,..I'm not that stupid! He gave it to you right? He's trying to win you back, admit it!"
"But I'm marrying you,..it doesn't mean anything to me anymore..", Susan answered, but she heard herself her tone wasn't that convincing.
"Well, he has some nerve,..giving you that ring..and don't tell me it doesn't mean anything to you! I've seen the looks you give him whenever you two are in the same room!"
Susan's eyes grew big at his comment and she walked away from him.
"Where did you get that idea from? We hardly spoke these last few weeks!" She protested. Ian turned to her and smiled cynically.
"I remember a visit we made when he was in jail. The moment we entered that room it felt like I didn't even exist. You were so taken by him, and he couldn't keep his eyes of you. So don't tell me I make those things up because it's true!"
Susan felt her annoyance grow by the minute.
"Oh so that's why you suddenly wrapped your arm around me huh? To show him I was your property! Well I am nobody's property,..and I never will! Don't think you can control everything I do,..because you will push me away from you!" Susan angrily replied. She turned around and ran upstairs, where she smacked the door behind her.
After taken a deep breath she walked up to the window, leaning against the post. Unnoticed her hands wandered off again to the ring. Feeling her fingers fold around it she sighed. And as if it was supposed to be like that, Mike walked out of his house, along with Carlos. She could see they were having a fun conversation. She saw Mike gaze at her house for a second, but then he laughed because of something Carlos said.
Susan's heart ached for a moment,..seeing him smile again. A soft knock on the door, startled her thoughts. She didn't answer, knowing it was Ian, and she didn't feel like talking to him now. She heard him go downstairs again, and a minute later she saw him walking to his car. She couldn't be with him tonight,..she needed the time to sort things out.
Susan woke up early the next morning. Turning around, noticing the pillow next to her was empty, she remembered her fight with Ian the other night. It was the one thing she really hated, his controlling behavior. Mike had never been like that. Off course he was jealous when another man looked at her, but he always knew she loved him, and trusted her.
Susan, angry at herself, turned around again. Why was she thinking of Mike again? She sighed and looked at the alarm clock standing on the cupboard. Right next to it laid Mike's ring. As she picked it up, her thoughts wandered back to that time she first learned he bought her a ring.
Susan: "So, about that ring you bought, is there anything particular you'd like to ask me?"
Mike: "Nope, not as long as Karl's got you wrapped around his finger."
Susan: "Okay, that's ridiculous. Karl doesn't have me wrapped around anything."
Mike: "You accepted a house from him, and you're nuts if you believe he doesn't have an ulterior motive."
Susan: "He's Karl. He's playing me. But that house is gonna be a great place for my daughter to live. And when he makes his move, he's gonna realize that I was really playing him. So, about that ring..."
Mike: "I, I just don't want to get deeper into this and suddenly realize your heart's somewhere else."
Susan: "Mike, my heart is in the exact right place."
Mike: "I can't have this conversation now, my tooth is throbbing."
Susan: "Of course. Okay. You don't even wanna know what my answer would have been?"
She wished for so long things would have gone differently after that. Waiting that evening,..thinking Mike had changed his mind about her. Then later that day when she found out he had an accident. She had cried by his bedside for hours, praying he'd come back to her. She was surprised when she felt a tear role down her cheek. Why was all of this coming back to her now? When she was about to marry Ian?
The phone broke of her thoughts, and thinking it was Ian, calling to apologize, she answered it.
"Hi, there", she said, only to hear a unfamiliar voice on the other end.
"Err,..hi yourself..I'm calling to say Julie Mayer is allowed to go home, is there a chance anyone could pick her up?" the nurse who called asked.
"OH,..sorry,..ehm,.yes I'll be there in an hour to pick her up!" Susan replied, a bit embarrassed.
While driving back to Wisteria Lane, Susan was still distracted by her thoughts. She didn't even hear a question Julie asked her, until she repeated it for the fourth time.
"MOM! What's wrong with you?" Julie asked a little annoyed.
"Ian and I had a little fight that's all,.." she confessed to her daughter. They drove up to the house and Susan parked the car on the driveway.
She opened the door for Julie,..and then stopped.
"O crap,..how are we ever going to get you inside?" She said looking at Julie, who's right leg was in a cast from her ankle up to her hip. At the hospital two nurses helped getting here in the car. Julie looked at her mom, and then through the back window of the car.
"You could ask Mike to help?" She pointed out, seeing him working on his car.
Susan's face got a little red, as she ducked down.
"NO we are not gonna ask Mike for help,..I'll carry you in myself!" She said, as she started to pull Julie's legs. Julie tried to cooperate, and finally she was out of the car leaning on Susan.
"OK,..now we only have to get you inside the house,..just lean on me!" Susan said, breathing heavily, as she wrapped her arm around her daughter's waist.
They tried to move a bit forward, but the weight of her daughter, leaning on her, made her tremble.
"When did you become so tall and all?" Susan asked leaning against the car.
"Mom,..just give it up,..it's not working! Why don't you give up your stubbornness and ask Mike to help?" Julie suggested again. Susan frowned and made a weird face,..until she threw her hands in the air.
"Ok ,..ok I'll go ask Mike,..but this was your idea, young lady not mine!" She said.
"Hi.." she greeted Mike softly. He turned around at the sound of her voice and she could see the twinkle in his eyes.
"Hey! I wondered how long it would take you to come over here", he smiled, as he held his head aside, nodding at Julie.
"You saw us struggle all that time, and you didn't come over to help?!" She exclaimed.
"Hey don't blame me! If I recall correctly, you were the one who said it would be better if we didn't see each other anymore,..I'm just trying to keep my end of the deal here", he answered,..still trying not to smile.
"Hmm well, okay,..so are you coming over to help us or not?" Susan asked impatiently.
"Well since you asked me in such a sweet way,..sure". Mike followed her across the street.
"Hey Julie,..good to see you're back home again!" He greeted her warmly. He lifted her up and carried her over to the house, where Susan already opened the door. He walked up to the living room, lowering Julie on the couch.
"There you go.." he said, raising himself up again,..looking around. Susan who stood in the doorway saw in his eyes he recognized certain items.
"You did a great job with your house", he complimented her. She smiled at him and walked up to Julie asking her if she needed anything. Julie said she would like to rest for a while so they both left the room,..feeling a little uneasy being together in her house again.
"Do you want something to drink? I can make us some coffee, if you'd like?" Susan suddenly asked. Mike was surprised by her question,..and looked at her, a doubtful look in his eyes.
"Are you sure,..I mean you don't have to ask me that, ..if it makes you uncomfortable.." he carefully answered. But she shook her head, and pointed out to him he could sit down.
While she was making coffee he could hardly keep his eyes off of her. She was still so beautiful,..he always loved to watch her. As if she felt he was looking at her, she turned around, meeting his eyes for a second. She stared back at him, until she realized what she was doing. She poured in two cups of coffee, and sat down across from him.
So many memories came back to him, just by sitting here with her. He remembered the mornings they had breakfast together, the lunches they shared,..and the late night conversations, before they went to bed. Absentmindedly he took a sip of his coffee, but the cup was so full, he spilled a little of it on his shirt.
"Oh crap", he said putting the cup down, looking around for something to dab the stain with. Susan got up and grabbed a towel,..making it a little wet. She put some soap on it and walked up to him. As he reached for the towel, she pulled it back.
"No.no…let me handle this, you guys usually make the stains even worse,..just sit back".
Neither of them had heard the car that pulled up to the drive way,..nor seen the face that was looking through the kitchen window. Susan tried to clean the stain but it was hard, because she didn't want to make his t-shirt wet.
"Maybe it's better if you take your shirt of,..I think I can clean it better that way", she said to Mike, who answered her question with a charming look.
He just started to take of his shirt when a loud bang sounded and the front door flew open. Ian rushed in, with such an angry look on his face, it scared Susan.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!" He yelled, ready to take on Mike. Mike who still had his shirt half off, quickly got up.
"Tell me! Why is he here!" Ian yelled at Susan, who was standing in between the both men.
"It's not what you think,..he helped to carry in Julie, we're only having coffee, don't make such a big deal out of it!" Susan angrily replied. Her answer didn't seem to calm Ian down, as he looked angry at Mike again.
"Is this what you meant, when you said, I'd better give up? Because you are slowly working your way back in,.huh is this the best you can do? Coming over when I'm not there? Why don't you be a real man, and fight for her,..come on,..I'd love to punch that grin of your face!" Ian took a step closer to Mike, but Susan stopped him, pushing him back.
"Have you lost your mind!!" She yelled at him. "What's the matter with you! Is this how it's gonna go from now on,..you deciding who I can and can't see?" She hit his chest with both hands making him take a few steps back.
"Look Susan,..you got to understand,..the way it looked,..he was taking his shirt off, what was I supposed to think?" Ian defended his action.
"That you trust me!" Susan hissed at him. "That's what relationships are about,..trust!"
She crossed her arms in front of her.
"And as long as you can't do that,…I don't want you here..", she slowly said.
"Susan,no,..you can't mean that,..look I'm sorry okay,..I shouldn't have reacted the way I did,..it's just.." Ian stopped, noticing the determined look in Susan's eyes.
"Fine,..I'll go,..I'll call you later." He said harshly, giving Mike a last angry look.
After Ian walked out Susan turned to Mike, an apologizing look on her face.
"I'm sorry you had to witness that,.." she said, while she started to clean up things on the counter. Mike slowly got up taking a few steps towards her.
"I think it would be best if I went back home now..", he softly said. Susan turned around and looked at him, her eyes filled with doubt and sadness.
"I think so too..," she whispered, looking at the floor. He turned around, but at the door he stopped and turned around again.
"I know this might sound weird, coming from me,..but I'm sorry,…I don't want to see you get hurt,..I just want you to make the right choice,..to choose the one you're really gonna be happy with". Mike looked at her once more, then he walked out.
"I know you do…".He didn't hear Susan's soft whispered answer anymore.
She sighed deeply again, slowly sitting down on one of the chairs around the kitchen table. She never thought she'd be at this crossroad again. The point where she had to choose between Mike and Ian. She had done it once before, and picked Ian.
Because she was so shocked, to see Mike with Edie,..and because he was so distantly towards her, she couldn't take it anymore. Susan shook her head,..of course she liked Ian,..she fell in love with him, because he was sweet and charming,..and he was there for her. Then why was she doubting again all of a sudden? She had accepted his proposal but…why did that other face appeared in her thoughts so often lately?
Mike had been thinking of that morning all day long. He'd never guessed Ian was so controlling, and that he showed it to Susan. Mike remembered that time when Susan came to visit him in jail and she told him about Ian,..who 'wasn't to happy about her seeing her ex'. He made a joke of it at that time,..but that also proved Ian hadn't trust him from the beginning.
But apparently he didn't trust Susan much either. Demanding all these things from her. Was there something he had noticed? Something that made him think Susan still had feelings for him too? Mike sighed deeply again. The thought of them getting married within a month, made him worry about his chances. He couldn't rush things,..but there wasn't much time left.
"Hey,..you gotta stop that staring, man! It's scary!" Carlos joked as he entered the room.
"Good thing I see you, I have question for you.." Carlos said, walking to the window.
"You know it was Gabby's birthday last week right?" He asked, waiting for Mike to nod.
"Err yeah,..you talked about it almost every day, but when it finally was her birthday you were to scared to give her anything!" Mike teased.
"I wasn't scared! It was just,..not the right moment..that's all. But anyway,..I want to throw her a surprise party,..and I was thinking about doing it here..if that's ok with you..?" Carlos looked at Mike. Mike frowned a bit, looking at Carlos.
"Well who will you be inviting?" He carefully asked, but Carlos guessed what he was thinking about.
"Well off course she will be here too,..I mean she's one of Gabby's closest friends,..hey maybe he will be on a business trip?" Carlos suggested. Mike grinned and shook his head.
"If he finds out we're having the party at my house, I'll bet he'll take the whole British army with him to protect her..so I don't think I'll be allowed within ten feet from her!"
Carlos made a funny face, and playfully hit Mike on the shoulder.
"So it's ok with you?" He asked, and Mike nodded yes.
"Thanks buddy,..I owe you one!" Carlos cheerfully said, walking out of the room. Mike didn't know if he was happy about the party or not…having Susan over at his house again was great,..but the fact that Ian probably wasn't even going to allow him to talk to her, made him sad. He took his toolbox and got out,..maybe work would distract him for a while.
"What do you mean this dress is too much?" Susan looked irritated at Ian who was sitting on her bed.
"Well it's just a birthday party,..I mean it's not like we're going to a gala!" Ian answered carefully. Susan turned around and put her hands in her side.
"Don't tell me this has anything to do with the fact Mike will be there tonight, you've been sulking about that all week! If you don't want to come then don't!"
Ian got up and laid his hands on her shoulders.
"I'm sorry, I think the dress is gorgeous. It's just,..I don't want to loose you, that's all,..". He looked her in the eyes. Susan's face lightened up a bit.
"I know that, but if you're going to keep acting like this you will,..so stop being so protective and enjoy the party tonight! And please let me enjoy it too,..so don't follow me around all the time,..ok?"
Ian slowly nodded hid head,..left no choice but to agree with her. But in the back of his head he knew he wasn't going to let her out of his sight for one moment. He lost a woman he loved once,..he wasn't going to let it happen again.
The both of them walked downstairs, where Julie was ready to go. She still walked on crutches but she was getting pretty handy with them.
Mike was feeling nervous. Carlos had asked him to welcome the guests, so he could distract Gabby until all the guests had arrived. A few people were already there,..but she wasn't. A knock on the door made his heart jump up a little, as he went to open it.
Finally,..she was there..
"Hi,.." he greeted her warmly, his eyes roaming over her body. She looked amazing,..but then he noticed Ian, standing next to her, his hand on her arm.
"Please come in," he said, stepping aside to let them through.
"Hey Julie,..how's your leg?" He asked the girl that was following behind them.
"It's ok, only 4 more weeks before the cast may come off," she smiled hopefully.
Other guests kept arriving and Mike was busy letting everyone in and providing them with drinks. Then his cell phone rang twice, the signal he and Carlos agreed on, and he told everybody to be quiet and dim the lights,..Gabby was coming. Everybody made sure they had a hiddingplace, and Mike lowered himself behind the table, bumping into someone as he did.
"Oh,..sorry,." he apologized, looking who was sitting next to him. He couldn't believe it, fate was with him tonight, because it was Susan whom he knelt next to.
"Isn't this exciting..," she giggled, her eyes sparkling. He couldn't help enjoying this moment, his shoulder firmly pressed against hers. She was so close, he'd wish Carlos would take it easy, so he could stay like this a little longer.
"I got Gabby this amazing gift I hope she likes it," Susan continued as she showed him a little box. Suddenly someone stumbled and slightly pushed Susan, so she fell a little forward and the box rolled out of her hand. Both of them reached for it at the same moment, causing Mike's hand to cover Susan's. They looked at each other intensely, they're heads so close he could feel her breath on his face.
"Surprise!!" The whole room yelled, as Gabby and Carlos entered the room. Mike was still staring at Susan, who hadn't moved either, both breathing fast. All around them people got up and clapped, and the spell was broken. A little bit guilty and awkward they both got up and joined the other guests in their welcome. Susan hadn't noticed Ian was looking at them from the other side of the room, and the look in his eyes was not a happy one.
"Oh you guys, this is so wonderful!" Gabrielle said as she thanked Susan and Ian for their gift. They walked up to the table to get themselves a drink.
"So,..did you find a good hiding place?" Ian asked lightly, as he took a sip from his wine.
"Err,..yeah I got under the table,..you?" Susan asked. Ian pointed to the couch.
"I got behind that,..wasn't it a little crowded under the table?" He continued.
Susan's mind worked fast. I f she told Ian she was hiding under the table with Mike, she'd have no peace the rest of the evening.
"No, apparently I was the only one who came up with that idea," she answered.
"Oh there's Lynette, I got to go ask here if she knows anything about Bree".
Susan walked over to her friend and started chatting.
"Doesn't it feel strange to be here?" Lynette asked Susan. Susan raised her eyebrow.
"Why would it be strange,..?" She tried to reply lighty,..but her eyes gave a different answer. Lynette smiled at her sympathetically.
"It's me Susan,..you can be honest. I see the looks Mike gives you, and the way you stare at him when you think nobody is watching."
Susan wanted to protest, but Lynette raised her hand.
"Don't deny it,..I don't blame you. I mean it must be hard,..the day your boyfriend asks you to marry him, you find out your ex-boyfriend has his memory back."
"You don't know everything yet,.." Susan whispered. She told Lynette about the letter Mike wrote and about the ring he included. Lynette's eyes grew big.
"So he still loves you? Wow,..does Ian know?" Lynette asked. Susan nodded yes.
"He saw the ring when I had it hanging on my necklace. He's been watching me ever since. Last week he went crazy because Mike was drinking coffee with me, after he helped Julie inside. He's a good guy but this jealous side of him,..I can't stand it!"
Lynette looked thoughtful at Susan for a moment.
"And does he have a good reason to be jealous?" She finally asked her. Susan's face turned a little red and she couldn't look her friend in the eyes.
"Oh Susan,..do you know what you are getting yourself into?" Lynette said compassionately. Susan wanted to answer, but Carlos was about to make a toast. After that Gabrielle thanked them all for coming and asked for some music.
Mike had been standing aside the whole time. Secretly observing Susan,..watching her talk and dance with her friends. He felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around to see who it was he looked in the eyes of Ian.
"Why don't you give it up,..we'll marry in a few weeks. Just don't make a fool out of yourself. You won't win her back,..I'll do anything in my power to prevent that!" Ian hissed through his teeth.
"Guys, guys,..this is a party, lighten up a bit!" Carlos joined them. Ian smiled at Carlos, laying a hand on his shoulder.
"And a lovely party it is!" He answered cheerfully. "Why don't we get another beer?"
He walked away but Carlos winked at Mike. "This is your chance,..I'll distract him for a while! We'll go check out his car or something!"
Mike looked at him strangely for a minute. Then he watched Susan again who was still dancing. He walked up to the improvised bar and got her a soda.
"Here,..I thought you could use this?" he said to her gently, handing her the drink.
Susan thanked him with her eyes, slowly emptying the glass.
"So,..you came to dance?" She said, a sparkle in her eyes. Mike frowned a bit.
"You know how I feel about dancing," he smiled, but he didn't move from his place either. The dance floor was getting more crowded and caused Mike to move closer to Susan. She was moving to the music,..her face glowing, her eyes sparkling.
"Come on Mike,..just move a little," she laughed, taking his hand to guide him to the rhythm. Mike was surprised by her action,..noticing she had a little to much to drink, but he enjoyed holding her hand. Slowly the music changed into a slower song. People around them pulled each other closer, for some slow dancing.
Mike wasn't sure about what to do now, but Susan laid her hands on his shoulders.
"Oh come on we can dance,..for old times sake…" Susan softly said. He laid his hands on her hips, and started to move to the music. He felt his mouth getting dry, and his heartbeat going faster. She was so close and yet further away then ever.
Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine
Your face I've memorized
I idolize just you
Mike looked at Susan, catching a glimpse of her eyes, staring at him. It was so true,..he idolized her,..loved her more than anything. He noticed Susan was listening to the song too, because she slowly looked up to him. And then he saw the look again,..he'd seen a few days ago,..that look he remembered so well. Slowly he pulled her a little closer, moving his hands to her lower back. She wrapped hers around his neck.
I look up to
Everything you are
In my eyes you do no wrong
I've loved you for so long
And after all is said and done
You're still you
After all
You're still you
They didn't need words to describe their feelings inside. Mike could see it in her eyes, something had come back to her, she let down her guard. He felt her hand gently stroking his hair, like his hands were caressing her back. Her head rested on his shoulder, and he held his head a little aside, resting it against hers. He closed his eyes and wished that this moment would last forever.
You walk past me
I can feel your pain
Time changes everything
One truth always stays the same
You're still you
After all
You're still you
And in this cruel and lonely world
I found one love
You're still you
After all
You're still you
The soft tones of the song slowly slid away..but they both didn't feel like letting go. Slowly Mike raised his head so he could look at her. He saw the emotion in her eyes, the same ones he felt inside. He lifted his hand and put a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
"Time may change everything,..but not the fact that you're my one love, Susan.." he emotionally whispered.
She was about to answer when a fist hit his cheek. He wasn't expecting the strike, so he smacked against the table. A little dazed he got up, seeing Ian standing in front of him, reading to take on another punch. But Carlos grabbed him and pulled him away from Mike. Susan ran up to him,..her fingers touching his face.
"O my god,..Mike are you okay?" She asked tearfully.
"How could you!" She yelled, turning around to Ian. "We were just dancing!"
"You call that dancing?" Ian yelled back. "It looked like a whole lot more than dancing to me!" Susan looked back at Mike again, who was still rubbing his cheek.
All of a sudden she turned around and ran out of the house. Ian wanted to follow her but Carlos stopped him, when he saw Lynette running after Susan.
"Just let her go, ok,..just go home.." He advised Ian, who freed himself from Carlos' grip.
"You will never get her,..you hear me,..NEVER!" He hissed through his teeth, at Mike.
Then he left the house and they heard his car drive away fast.
"Ok,..the show is over,..let's get the party going!" Carlos said. The music started again and everybody continued their talk. But Mike stared out of the window,..wondering what she wanted to say to him..before Ian ruined it all.
Susan ran across the street, tears flowing all over her face. She heard footsteps behind her, but she wasn't sure who was following her,..it could be Mike,..it could be Ian.
"Susan wait up.." Lynette's voice sounded. Susan stopped, on the way to her front door and turned around,. relieved to see it was her friend that followed her.
"I'm making such a mess of this..," she sobbed as Lynette hugged her.
"No you are not,…ok well maybe a little," Lynette tried to lighten her up. "Let's go inside and then you can just tell me anything,..you know you can trust me..".
Susan nodded and opened her door. They sat down at the kitchen table, Susan laid her head in her hands.
"I just don't know what to do anymore.." she whispered, with a tearfully voice.
"Why don't you just tell me what it is that's making you so upset," Lynette carefully asked. Susan looked at her,..whiping the tears away.
"I think I have feelings for Mike again.." she answered so softly Lynette wasn't sure she heard it correctly.
She raised her eyebrown, and let Susan's comment sink in.
"And when did this all happen? Susan,..two weeks ago you excepted Ian's proposal,..right in front of Mike..what made you doubt your feelings for Ian?" Lynette laid her hand on Susan's.
"I think the fact Mike has his memory back,..has a great deal to do with it. I mean you have to understand, Lynette,..when he was in that coma..I've gone through hell. Imagine Tom laying there and there's nothing you can do.."
She started crying again, thinking back of that time she sat with Mike.
"It was so hard,..we had just found our way back to eachother,..we were ready to take the next step. And then the accident happened. At first I was so determined he would wake up soon,..but weeks became months, and the doctor's were giving me less hope every day." Lynette softly squeezed her hand, encouraging her to go on.
"Then I met Ian, I finally had someone to talk to, who understood what I went through. But he wanted more than just being friends,..and that scared me off at the beginning. Then that trip came, and I,..well, it still feels like something we shouldn't have done. It felt like a punishment that Mike woke up that day and treated me so coldly. I felt like I deserved it, for abandoning him. I tried so hard to be there for him,..but then I.."
Lynette got Susan a glass of water, which she thankfully accepted. She took a sip and continued. It actually felt good letting out those feelings she had inside for so long.
"I walked in on him and Edie,..and my heart just broke..I think I deliberately blocked him out of my mind from that day. So he could not hurt me like that again. It drove me in the arms of Ian,.and I liked the way he took care of me. I fell in love with him,..and I slowly forgot about Mike.
But then he went to jail,..and I just couldn't let him be. I started visiting him,..and the way he looked at me sometimes.., Ian didn't like it, he told me I couldn't see Mike anymore,..he was afraid he would fall in love with me again. After he got out,..and Jane died, I got to understand Ian better. Jane was cheating on him,..that's why he's so jealous".
Lynette thought for a minute, then she looked Susan in the eyes.
"But if you know about that,..why are you spending more time with Mike then?"
Susan took a deep breath, and sighed.
"He's changed,..he's my Mike again. The Mike I once fell in love with. I know it wasn't the smartest thing to do,..but I think I'm letting him in again,..and tonight,..a lot of my old feelings came back,..it was as if we'd never been apart."
"Yeah it certainly looked like that.." Lynette honestly said. Susan sighed again.
"No wonder Ian got so mad..," she responded sadly. Lynette slowly nodded.
"Susan,..I'm not trying to force you into anything,.but don't you think you should think things over before you marry Ian. Is he the one you want to spend the rest of your life with,..or does Mike still have that special place in your heart?"
"I know,..you're right,..but how can I think, when I see them around me every day?" Susan sadly replied. Lynette paused for a minute, and then got a happy look on her face.
"I have an idea,..Tom's dad has this great cabin , like an hour drive from here. I could ask if you could use that,..it will be a great place to think,..you'll have some peace and quiet up there. Only a bear might distract you".
Susan eyes grew big at that comment, but she saw the twinkle in Lynette's eyes.
"Pff you,..but how can I go away for a few days,..I mean what about Julie?"
"Well she does have a dad right?" Lynette answered cynically. "You could ask Karl to take care of her for a few days." Susan started to like the idea more and more. It would be good to take some time off,..she really needed to sort things out.
"Ok,..I'll do it!" She got up and hugged her friend.
"Thanks Lynette,..I really needed this,..I'm glad you were there to listen."
"Hey, no problem,..that's what friends are for! But don't think I'll feel sad for you the next time we play poker,..I'm so going to beat you again!" Lynette joked.
Together they laughed, until Lynette said she was going home. Susan thanked her again, and closed the door behind her.
The next day a remorseful Ian walked in. Susan was just done calling Karl, asking him if he could take care of Julie. Lynette had called earlier that morning telling her the cabin was free, and that she could use it whenever she wanted. Susan had finally decided that the sooner she went up there the better. When Ian entered the house she couldn't look straight at him.
"Hey,.." He greeted her softly. "I just want to say I'm sorry about last night, ruining the party and all,..I just.." he stopped when he saw Susan's face. She was about to cry again. Ian walked up to her, to comfort her but she pulled away.
"Don't,..please don't,..I have something I need to tell you..," she slowly said. Ian raised his eyebrow and looked at her defeated.
"What's going on Susan? Does this have anything to do with what happened last night?"
He asked, trying to sound calmly. Susan slowly nodded her head.
"Last night opened my eyes, after I had a talk with Lynette. I can't marry you like this Ian,..I need to know if it's the right thing to do, if it is what I truly want."
Ian looked at her in shock.
"You can't marry me,..," he stammered, letting his shoulders hang down.
"Why,.where is this coming from? Two weeks ago you were more then happy when I proposed..this is about Mike isn't it?" He finally dared to ask. Susan slowly nodded.
"I'm not doing this to hurt you,..I just need to know,..who I really love..".
"So you don't deny the fact you have feelings for him again?" Ian asked her, a bit angry.
"I want to be honest with you,..you deserve that. Yes I can't deny I have feelings for Mike again,..wouldn't it be the same for you when Jane would have woke up?"
Ian shook his head.
"No,..Jane cheated on me,..I could never feel the same for her after that.
Isn't there anything I can do,..that will make you change your mind?" Ian asked as he moved towards her again.
"If you really care about me,..you let me go and do this Ian,..I just need time to think. I'm going away for a few days,..to be alone,..and when I made my choice,..I will let you know." Susan said, as she pulled herself together.
"Fine,.." Ian finally gave up. "If this is what you want,..I'll let you go,..and hopefully you make the best choice..". He gave her a quick kiss and then he walked out of the door, leaving a relieved, yet sad Susan behind. One tough conversation was over,..just one more to handle. Susan took a deep breath and walked out her door, crossing the street walking up to Mike's house.
She knocked on his door, and waited. She almost turned around thinking he wasn't home, when the door opened. Mike's hair was wet and he was trying to fix his t-shirt.
"Susan..hi," he greeted her, his voice a little surprised.
"I'm sorry for the way I look, I had just finished taking a shower when I heard the knock on the door. So I put on the first thing that was nearby. Do you want to come in?"
She doubted for a minute, but it felt kind off strange to tell him about her decision her on his doorstep, so she accepted his invitation.
"Please sit down," Mike said, removing a few pages of the morning paper of the couch.
"Carlos is a little bit messy," he grinned, apologizing for his roommate.
Susan smiled, thinking about how Gabby used to complain about that too.
"Can I get you anything, coffee, soda,.some water maybe..," Mike nervously asked.
Susan shook her head, and took a deep breath.
"I just came by to let you know, I'm going away for a few days. I need to think Mike,..about what happened last night,..I need to sort out my feelings..".
Mike stared at her for a moment. Then he sat down in front of her, on the coffee table.
"Does this mean,..you have feelings for me again?" Mike softly asked.
Susan couldn't do anything but nod her head. The way he looked at her,..sparkles of joy in his eyes,..a smile appearing on his face.
"I,..I can't explain it,..but last night I felt something,..I haven't felt for a long time. And I need to know if it was just a one time thing,..a memory,..or if it means more than that."
Mike carefully took her hands in his, holding them tight.
"I can't tell you how happy this makes me,..just to know that you felt it too last night."
Mike looked at her closely,..still holding her hands.
"When will you be leaving?" He asked her.
"Probably this afternoon,..Karl will take care of Julie,..and I can stay at the cabin of Tom's dad. I just wanted to let you know,..I thought that was only fair."
She slowly got up,.. and Mike let go of her hands.
"So,..I'll let you know,..I mean what I've decided..," Susan said, standing at the door. Mike looked at her intensely, when she opened the door.
"I know you'll make the right decision Susan,..just follow your heart.." he softly said.
Then he leaned forward and kissed her gently on her lips.
"Take good care of yourself up there,..I'll be waiting for you..". Mike caressed her cheek, and Susan felt the shivers run over her back. She turned around and started walking back to her house, feeling Mike's eyes following her. At her own doorstep she looked at his house once more. He waved at her and she raised her hand to wave back at him.
Then she entered her house,..she had start packing if she wanted to leave in a few hours.
Slowly Susan put her bag on the floor. When Lynette said the cabin was comfortable, she didn't expect to see this. Looking around in the living room she saw a nice big couch, a comfortable loveseat in front of a big fireplace, and a kitchen with lots of things Susan knew she couldn't handle anyway. She walked around, and walked upstairs to see the bedroom. It had a nice big bed,..and a lovely view over the lake.
She sat down on the bed, starring out the window for a moment. The only thing she hoped for was that she would be able to make up her mind. She sighed as she let herself fall backwards on the bed. She reached for her bag, opening it and taking out two pictures. One of them was of her and Ian,..the other one of her and Mike.
"I just hope I make the right choice…I know either way I'll break a heart,..". She got up again and placed the pictures on the shelf above her bed.
"I think it's time for a nice walk," she said to herself. She changed her clothes and shoes, and went outside. She enjoyed the fresh air,..finally feeling herself calm down a bit.
After she explored the surrounding a little bit she felt hungry and she decided to go back to the cabin. She had brought some food, even she could cook,..well at least wouldn't mess up to much. She grabbed a package of easy mac, and put it in the microwave. She thought it would be better to stay right there in the kitchen, given her history with macaroni and cheese. She thought of the first time she met Mike…
"Oh I wouldn't eat that if I were you".
"Why?" He had asked her.
"I made it, trust me." He started to take a bite but she stopped him.
"Hey, hey, do you have a death wish?"
"No, I just refuse to believe that anybody can screw up macaroni and cheese."
He took a bite and She looked apologetic as she held up her hands as though to say that she warned him. He started to chew, then stopped.
"Oh my god. How did you - it tastes like it's burnt and undercooked."
"Yeah, I get that a lot." She took a napkin and made him spit the food into it.
"I'm Mike Delfino, I just started renting the Sims house".
"Susan Mayer I live across the street".
The beeping sound of the microwave, telling her dinner was ready, disturbed her thoughts. She took the plate with her into the living room, and nestled herself in the loveseat. While she ate her dinner, she tried to think of ways that would make her help decide. She thought of making a list, but she put that aside quickly, it was to businesslike. Maybe she should use Mike's idea…and just follow her heart…it was a uncertain journey,..but she had to take it…