The glare, the stance, the tension, the overwhelming sense of fear that coursed through my veins led me to believe, no, led me to know one thing: This was over.
"You are a monster!" I screamed. My words caught in the wind and blew into his face, hitting him with an impact that obviously shook him to his core. His face faltered, his angry face settling into one of pain and utter disgust, but I knew it was at himself. The fear that once soared through my body quickly wove its way into sheer fury. I clenched my teeth, nails pushing into my palms with all their strength, I was too furious to think of the consequences of what would happen if I broke the skin.
"Understand-" his voice, so torn and sad would have, should have snapped me out of it. It only fueled my rage, like gas on an open flame.
"Shut up!" My screech was loud, shrill, but not desperate. No, it was angry. I felt my body shaking and thought of Jacob instantly. How he could control himself around this creature suddenly amazed me. I would have phased already if I were a werewolf. In my momentary lapse of concentration, Edward moved closer to me, that expression still etched on the features of his flawless face. On what I once called a flawless face. Now it was marred, alien. Hideously out of place in Forks. I stepped back. "Get away from me! You're horrible!" My words attacked him, mocked him, and sent shivers down his spine and waves of sadness to flow over him. I saw it. I was breaking him.
"Bella, why-" That overemotional voice hurt my ears. It seemed so over thought, over done. Annoyingly acted out, scripted. I cringed and took another step back.
"Why?" I felt the wall break down and all but lashed out at him physically. My words flowed like acid, trying to get to him and burn him. Scald him. Hurt him. "You bastard! You tell me you love me! Leave me, come back and promise me to never leave! Think of everything to make sure I can't stay with you forever; make up lies to keep me happy! And now you ask me why I'm angry when you come and say that the forever you promised needs to be cut short? Listen to yourself! I loved you, Edward Cullen. But my heart is long gone by now."
I bared my teeth, an unconscious gesture. A flinch from him and I'm sent over the edge. I scream, clutching at my head. Why did I let this happen? Why is he still here in the first place? Why was I so fucking stupid?
"I do lo-" My scream intensifies as I realize what he's about to say. Lies. That's all that's seeped past his lips since he came back. Useless lies that sent a shiver down my spine. No more, I refuse to be played.
"No! You clearly don't!" I'm not yelling, my throat hurts, but I spit my words like venom. I laugh in my own head at the pun, or, what would be the pun if I myself was a vampire. Another rush of hatred sweeps through me. "If you loved me in the least, you wouldn't have left. 'For my own good' you said. Look how good it was, Edward! Look where your good intentions have led! You've ruined my life! You've ruined me!"
I scan over his body, shocked that his body is still standing there, in front of me and my teeth grind together. Always had to be strong, didn't he? Calm, cool, collected? I had to have the emotions, expressed enough for the two of us. I was going to change that, I was going to break him. Leave him here, wrapped up in his own sorrows in the woods, wishing it would change. I would do it. I owed it to him.
"Why didn't you just stay in Alaska?" I was rigid, my body locked and my eyes boring holes into him. I only saw pale flesh and, deep inside of him, what I imagined to be his dead, gray, cold and still heart. Listless bastard. "Why did you come back? Did Alice tell you she saw you breaking my heart and felt it necessary to make sure she was right? You had to have known you would never have allowed yourself to stay with me. You must have known, deep down, you would only end up shattering my heart. Or was I wrong? Are you only a selfish creature with not only a dead heart, but do you have no brain, as well?"
"Please…" The whimper. A sound I've never heard from him. I do pause; I stop and stare at him my body relaxing slightly. I thought of Jacob, once again. He wouldn't have done this to me, would he? No, he would never say goodbye, not unless he was going to die. I knew that, Jacob truly loved me. I suppose, deep down, I loved Jacob too. I was just too blinded by the once beautiful Edward to notice. I thought about a way I could love Jacob back, put my heart together once I snatched it from Edward's steely, cold grasp. Perhaps, in doing this, I was stealing Edward's useless heart. I would use it as my own.
"I hate you, Edward Cullen." He instantly snaps his head up to meet my never wavering gaze. I'm as shocked as he is, I realize after a while. Not because I said the words, no, I'd been thinking about them for a while. I was shocked because I really, truly meant them now. I used to trick myself and make up lies, defending Edward in my own head. He loves me, I love him. We're perfect, and soon enough, we'll be together forever. How sad. It made me feel more pathetic, but I just channeled all those other emotions and funneled it into anger. It was all I had left, after all.
"I love you, Bella."
I laughed. Who was masochistic now?