"Just Another Day"
ThetaPrime
Intro:
Peter
Hey! HEllo!
[An echo occurs]
Peter
Hey! Who said that!?
Echo
Hey! Who said that?
Peter
I did.
Echo
I did.
Peter
[Shaking his fist in the dark void]
Why do you mock me?
Echo
[Who begins to shake Peter]
Why do you mock me?
Peter
[fumbling with his fingers]
So wait... you're telling me that I'm just a projection of you...?
[Nothing happans]
[Peter kicks into the void. His foot bounces off of something.]
Echo
Oh!
So wait... you're telling me that I'm just a projestion of you...?
Peter
That's what I thought.
Echo
That's what...
Peter
[inturrupting, imitating echo]
...that's what I thought.
Echo
[inturrupting]
...that's what...
Peter
[inturrupting]
...that's what I thought...
Echo
That's what I thought.
Peter
Who said that!?
[Intro song plays]
----------------------------------------
[Peter walks in the door]
[claps ensue]
Pater
Damnit! That studio audience moved back in.
Lois
[Changing stewie]
Ugh! As if it wasn't bad enough! Then that we got those Hanibal-Enthusisats who moved next door.
[Inside of the Hanibal enthuisiast's house.]
[There are two people sitting on a couch. One, the man, is reading a paper. The woman is knitting a pink sock.]
Man
[Muffled, quiete voice]
Julia... What if it's a boy?
Julia
[Muffled voice]
Does it really matter John..?
John
[Muffled voice]
Well, I suppose not... That's a wonderful dressing.
[A man pops his head into the screen, just his head]
Man
[Singing in 30 style free-verse]
And by dressing, they mean they're gonna' eat the baby.
[The two look at the man with ravishing eyes.]
John
[Unlocking his mouth-mask]
Julia... How hungry are you?
Man
[Dancing, flipping his hat in one hand]
That was all, I did my job
I'd rather be in east comptons getting robbed
Then here in these people's house
Gee sir, you've got a bueatiful spouse.
John
[Moving towards him]
I think we'll have you to dinner...
[The man looks around nervously, sweating, he pulls his collar and swallows.]
[Cuts back to Lois and Peter's house, where they are in teh kitchen]
[Stewie is looking through binoculars]
Stewie
Oh hell! How cliche is that!? Nobody ever loosened their colar to swallow.
[Peter is in the background eating some water-melon]
[He stretches his collar with one finger, and shoved the whole watermelon into his mouth.]
Stewie
[Looking back over to the neighbor's house]
Why can't this damnable world stop defying me--- What the duece!? Where the devil did that sexy devil of a man and that squirrily borrow of a man go off to? Oh, there they are...
[In the back of their house, the three are eating lunch.]
Man
This is really good. What is it?
Julia
[Chewing}
...
[A close up of the 30's man. The psycho intro plays]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Lois
[Getting Stewie]
I just don't see why we can't get some normal neighbors.
Peter
[After burping]
What about the Jones'es? They were a pretty nice family?
Lois
You don't remember what happened with them?
Peter
[Reminiscing]
Oh yeah.
{Peter's remembering scheme}
[Giggles ensue]
[Three bountiful women are running towards Peter in a white void.]
Girls
Peter! Peter! Where are you?
Peter
Hey! There reall is a black and white void! How interesting! Now... If I could fuse the two togeth-er...
Girls
Peter!
Peter
Oh.... Ladies. Hiyas.
[The three women rub up against him]
Lois
No body says Hiyas anymore Peter.
Peter
Hey! Get outa' my head. I know we're married Lois, but Jeez! Some things are meant to be private...
Lois
You were playing a video Peter...
[Peter turns his head towards the playing T.V. which is playing with a pasted picture of his head on a masculine body.]
Peter
... Oh yeah.
[Peter runs up to the TV, ejects the video tape, pulls out his collar with his finger, and swallows it.]
[Turns to Lois]
Peter
Please don't tell my wife. I swear! If you do... I'll have ta' kill ya'.
Lois
Oh Peter... I remember it like this.
[A frumpish, homely midget hobbles towards Peter, who when she gets close to the Peter, the person takes off the mask, showing to be Quagmire.]
Quagmire
Alriiiiiiiiight! Oh! What the hell? You're not Lois!
Midget
Hey, I'm short, maybe I am a midget. Ja wanna' fight about it?
Quagmire
Will their be fighting?
[Midget Punches Quagmire]
Quagmire
[girating his head back and forth]
Alriiiiight...
[By this time, Stewie had up and left teh room half nude.]
Stewie
Damn it all! If she can't change me propperly, what the hell is her purpose?
Brian
[On the couch drinking]
To annoy and hector you into a righteous rage, passing on becomming less and less calloused, and more and more tender with the sun's rise and moon's fall.
Her primary function... to make your life a living, breatnig hell..
Stewie
[Looking infurious, then smiling]
Well that about sums it up.
Hey..! dog!
[mumbles]
An plebian says what..?
Brian
[Takes a recorder out, and replays what Stewie just said]
Stewie[voice box]
A plebian says what..?
[Rewinds}
Stewie[voice box]
...what
Stewie
Yes... well perhaps I may be a Plebian for that one...
Wait a minute! The context of any one saying "what" only applies to what is said after I said what.
[Singing in an peevish jeering tone]
ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-HA!
There! Prove that one wrong dog!
Brain
[Takes a sip from the can]
[Rewinds the tape player yet once again]
Stewie{voice box]
Wait a minute! The context of any one saying "what" only applies to what is said after I said what.
[Rewinds]
...what...
[fastfowards]
[different tone]
...what...
Brian
Oh yeah!
[Brian gets up, and turns the channel to another channel that reads AV/IN]
[The 'Rew' sighn shows up on the TV to the upper left.]
[After a few seconds]
Stewie
How long will this take dog?
Brian
Oh, it's almost there.
Stewie
Oh... Alright...
[Teetering from heel-to-toe]
So... How are the kids?
Brain
Don't have any.
Stewie
Oh! That's right... Yes, how simply stupid of me to forget something like that.
Your mother doing fine I hope..?
Brian
She's dead, remember..?
Stewie
Oh Damn! Where is my head today?
Burried her and everything.
[Stewie Find amusement in his statement]
Oh damn it again... I'm terribly sorry...
[More time ensues]
Stewie
I love what Lois did with the drapes.
Brain
Oh really? You like it?
Stewie
Oh yes! Quite.
Brain
You know, I helped her put that up. I even helped her decide on the boarder.
Stewie
Oh! It shows... it shows... You'll have to tell me how you ever got NAACP green and Ku Klux Klan red to match.
Brain
Oh. Here we go.
[Brain pushes the play button]
[It shows a lauginh Stewie]
Brain
Damnit
[After rewindind it just a tad bit more.]
Stewie[Tv voice box]
...what...
Stewie
Damnit!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[It's now later in the day]
[Meg runs down the steps]
Meg
Come on dad, or else I'm gonna' be late.
[Stewie is Sitting on Lois's lap, with Brian sitting next to Chris]
[Stewie climbs up Lois's body, standing on the top of the couch]
Stewie
Why the hell do you fools send your child to school!? To receive this type of education!? I'm gonna'... I'm Gonna' What the hell kind of diction is that?
[imitating a souther-man]
Well I'll tell ya what [emphansis] H-YUK! Gee, I hope I don't break a nail pasturizin' the milk, or
[normal voice]
what the devil do these farmer Joes do again?
[He watches Peter standing there scratching his head, then sniff his finger.]
Oh yes
[Southern voice]
scratchin' muh head under a tree.
Brian
You know Stewie, Newton supposedly discovered gravity under s tree.
Stewie
Oh yeah... Right! And I suppose Paul made his Dirac equation when "accidentily" bumping into Klein-Gordon.
[Flashback]
Paul
Hey baby-doll! Show your mamories!
Klein
[Turning around]
Hey! I'm no woman
Paul
Klein..! Klein Gordon! What are you doing here?
Klein
Hey! Paul, how's it been? I'm just working on a mono-wavicle theorem.
Paul
Hey, lemme look at that, maybe I can help. So, you fine tuning this?
Klein
Yeah, the Institute of Science has already posted my first equation...
Paul
Here... Let me just take this home, I'll look over it, and give it back to you at the next ISC meeting.
Klein
Okay.
[Later]
President of ISC
And to this man, goes the Nobel Prize
[claps ensue]
Paul
You know, I was driving here, right? I gave the valet my keys. He started the engine and pressed the petrol - anti-matter button, and he hasn't gotten back yet.
[laughs ensue]
Paul
No, but serriously
Anonymous from the audience
Show your tits!
- - - - -
Meg
Come on Dad, I swear, if I'm late, I'll never live it down.
Peter
Haven't you ever heard of being fashionably late?
[Peter waits]
[He begins to vibrate vehemently]
Peter
Damnit
Lois
What wrong hunny?
Peter
I think I've ran out of flashbacks and dreams.
Lois
Peter, take Meg to that party. When you leave the house, it'll reset your dream sequencing to three.
Peter
Let's go.
[The two leave the house]
Stewie
[Walking about]
I don't get it. You send her off to these parties to inevidibly loose her virginity, and I can't eat froot-loops because my teeth haven't fully grown in.
Brian
Or your brain.
Stewie
Thank you dog! That just means I'll be getting all the smarter.
Brian
That's what people use to think would happen when thet contracted rabies.
Lois
Uh-oh... looks like some one made a stinkey...
Stewie
Damn you woman! I think I would have the competance to know if I've made a bm... Ah, there it is...
Chris
[To himself]
Maybe if I don't talk, they won't think I'm here any more.
Lois
Chris, take your brother upstairs, I have to talk to Brian.
Chris
D'oh!
[Getting up]
Let's go little man.
[Picks Stewie up]
Stewie
Hey fat boy! Unhand me you blasted urchin!
UGH! Damn my diminuitive stature!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
More to come later
ThetaPrime
Intro:
Peter
Hey! HEllo!
[An echo occurs]
Peter
Hey! Who said that!?
Echo
Hey! Who said that?
Peter
I did.
Echo
I did.
Peter
[Shaking his fist in the dark void]
Why do you mock me?
Echo
[Who begins to shake Peter]
Why do you mock me?
Peter
[fumbling with his fingers]
So wait... you're telling me that I'm just a projection of you...?
[Nothing happans]
[Peter kicks into the void. His foot bounces off of something.]
Echo
Oh!
So wait... you're telling me that I'm just a projestion of you...?
Peter
That's what I thought.
Echo
That's what...
Peter
[inturrupting, imitating echo]
...that's what I thought.
Echo
[inturrupting]
...that's what...
Peter
[inturrupting]
...that's what I thought...
Echo
That's what I thought.
Peter
Who said that!?
[Intro song plays]
----------------------------------------
[Peter walks in the door]
[claps ensue]
Pater
Damnit! That studio audience moved back in.
Lois
[Changing stewie]
Ugh! As if it wasn't bad enough! Then that we got those Hanibal-Enthusisats who moved next door.
[Inside of the Hanibal enthuisiast's house.]
[There are two people sitting on a couch. One, the man, is reading a paper. The woman is knitting a pink sock.]
Man
[Muffled, quiete voice]
Julia... What if it's a boy?
Julia
[Muffled voice]
Does it really matter John..?
John
[Muffled voice]
Well, I suppose not... That's a wonderful dressing.
[A man pops his head into the screen, just his head]
Man
[Singing in 30 style free-verse]
And by dressing, they mean they're gonna' eat the baby.
[The two look at the man with ravishing eyes.]
John
[Unlocking his mouth-mask]
Julia... How hungry are you?
Man
[Dancing, flipping his hat in one hand]
That was all, I did my job
I'd rather be in east comptons getting robbed
Then here in these people's house
Gee sir, you've got a bueatiful spouse.
John
[Moving towards him]
I think we'll have you to dinner...
[The man looks around nervously, sweating, he pulls his collar and swallows.]
[Cuts back to Lois and Peter's house, where they are in teh kitchen]
[Stewie is looking through binoculars]
Stewie
Oh hell! How cliche is that!? Nobody ever loosened their colar to swallow.
[Peter is in the background eating some water-melon]
[He stretches his collar with one finger, and shoved the whole watermelon into his mouth.]
Stewie
[Looking back over to the neighbor's house]
Why can't this damnable world stop defying me--- What the duece!? Where the devil did that sexy devil of a man and that squirrily borrow of a man go off to? Oh, there they are...
[In the back of their house, the three are eating lunch.]
Man
This is really good. What is it?
Julia
[Chewing}
...
[A close up of the 30's man. The psycho intro plays]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Lois
[Getting Stewie]
I just don't see why we can't get some normal neighbors.
Peter
[After burping]
What about the Jones'es? They were a pretty nice family?
Lois
You don't remember what happened with them?
Peter
[Reminiscing]
Oh yeah.
{Peter's remembering scheme}
[Giggles ensue]
[Three bountiful women are running towards Peter in a white void.]
Girls
Peter! Peter! Where are you?
Peter
Hey! There reall is a black and white void! How interesting! Now... If I could fuse the two togeth-er...
Girls
Peter!
Peter
Oh.... Ladies. Hiyas.
[The three women rub up against him]
Lois
No body says Hiyas anymore Peter.
Peter
Hey! Get outa' my head. I know we're married Lois, but Jeez! Some things are meant to be private...
Lois
You were playing a video Peter...
[Peter turns his head towards the playing T.V. which is playing with a pasted picture of his head on a masculine body.]
Peter
... Oh yeah.
[Peter runs up to the TV, ejects the video tape, pulls out his collar with his finger, and swallows it.]
[Turns to Lois]
Peter
Please don't tell my wife. I swear! If you do... I'll have ta' kill ya'.
Lois
Oh Peter... I remember it like this.
[A frumpish, homely midget hobbles towards Peter, who when she gets close to the Peter, the person takes off the mask, showing to be Quagmire.]
Quagmire
Alriiiiiiiiight! Oh! What the hell? You're not Lois!
Midget
Hey, I'm short, maybe I am a midget. Ja wanna' fight about it?
Quagmire
Will their be fighting?
[Midget Punches Quagmire]
Quagmire
[girating his head back and forth]
Alriiiiight...
[By this time, Stewie had up and left teh room half nude.]
Stewie
Damn it all! If she can't change me propperly, what the hell is her purpose?
Brian
[On the couch drinking]
To annoy and hector you into a righteous rage, passing on becomming less and less calloused, and more and more tender with the sun's rise and moon's fall.
Her primary function... to make your life a living, breatnig hell..
Stewie
[Looking infurious, then smiling]
Well that about sums it up.
Hey..! dog!
[mumbles]
An plebian says what..?
Brian
[Takes a recorder out, and replays what Stewie just said]
Stewie[voice box]
A plebian says what..?
[Rewinds}
Stewie[voice box]
...what
Stewie
Yes... well perhaps I may be a Plebian for that one...
Wait a minute! The context of any one saying "what" only applies to what is said after I said what.
[Singing in an peevish jeering tone]
ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-HA!
There! Prove that one wrong dog!
Brain
[Takes a sip from the can]
[Rewinds the tape player yet once again]
Stewie{voice box]
Wait a minute! The context of any one saying "what" only applies to what is said after I said what.
[Rewinds]
...what...
[fastfowards]
[different tone]
...what...
Brian
Oh yeah!
[Brian gets up, and turns the channel to another channel that reads AV/IN]
[The 'Rew' sighn shows up on the TV to the upper left.]
[After a few seconds]
Stewie
How long will this take dog?
Brian
Oh, it's almost there.
Stewie
Oh... Alright...
[Teetering from heel-to-toe]
So... How are the kids?
Brain
Don't have any.
Stewie
Oh! That's right... Yes, how simply stupid of me to forget something like that.
Your mother doing fine I hope..?
Brian
She's dead, remember..?
Stewie
Oh Damn! Where is my head today?
Burried her and everything.
[Stewie Find amusement in his statement]
Oh damn it again... I'm terribly sorry...
[More time ensues]
Stewie
I love what Lois did with the drapes.
Brain
Oh really? You like it?
Stewie
Oh yes! Quite.
Brain
You know, I helped her put that up. I even helped her decide on the boarder.
Stewie
Oh! It shows... it shows... You'll have to tell me how you ever got NAACP green and Ku Klux Klan red to match.
Brain
Oh. Here we go.
[Brain pushes the play button]
[It shows a lauginh Stewie]
Brain
Damnit
[After rewindind it just a tad bit more.]
Stewie[Tv voice box]
...what...
Stewie
Damnit!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[It's now later in the day]
[Meg runs down the steps]
Meg
Come on dad, or else I'm gonna' be late.
[Stewie is Sitting on Lois's lap, with Brian sitting next to Chris]
[Stewie climbs up Lois's body, standing on the top of the couch]
Stewie
Why the hell do you fools send your child to school!? To receive this type of education!? I'm gonna'... I'm Gonna' What the hell kind of diction is that?
[imitating a souther-man]
Well I'll tell ya what [emphansis] H-YUK! Gee, I hope I don't break a nail pasturizin' the milk, or
[normal voice]
what the devil do these farmer Joes do again?
[He watches Peter standing there scratching his head, then sniff his finger.]
Oh yes
[Southern voice]
scratchin' muh head under a tree.
Brian
You know Stewie, Newton supposedly discovered gravity under s tree.
Stewie
Oh yeah... Right! And I suppose Paul made his Dirac equation when "accidentily" bumping into Klein-Gordon.
[Flashback]
Paul
Hey baby-doll! Show your mamories!
Klein
[Turning around]
Hey! I'm no woman
Paul
Klein..! Klein Gordon! What are you doing here?
Klein
Hey! Paul, how's it been? I'm just working on a mono-wavicle theorem.
Paul
Hey, lemme look at that, maybe I can help. So, you fine tuning this?
Klein
Yeah, the Institute of Science has already posted my first equation...
Paul
Here... Let me just take this home, I'll look over it, and give it back to you at the next ISC meeting.
Klein
Okay.
[Later]
President of ISC
And to this man, goes the Nobel Prize
[claps ensue]
Paul
You know, I was driving here, right? I gave the valet my keys. He started the engine and pressed the petrol - anti-matter button, and he hasn't gotten back yet.
[laughs ensue]
Paul
No, but serriously
Anonymous from the audience
Show your tits!
- - - - -
Meg
Come on Dad, I swear, if I'm late, I'll never live it down.
Peter
Haven't you ever heard of being fashionably late?
[Peter waits]
[He begins to vibrate vehemently]
Peter
Damnit
Lois
What wrong hunny?
Peter
I think I've ran out of flashbacks and dreams.
Lois
Peter, take Meg to that party. When you leave the house, it'll reset your dream sequencing to three.
Peter
Let's go.
[The two leave the house]
Stewie
[Walking about]
I don't get it. You send her off to these parties to inevidibly loose her virginity, and I can't eat froot-loops because my teeth haven't fully grown in.
Brian
Or your brain.
Stewie
Thank you dog! That just means I'll be getting all the smarter.
Brian
That's what people use to think would happen when thet contracted rabies.
Lois
Uh-oh... looks like some one made a stinkey...
Stewie
Damn you woman! I think I would have the competance to know if I've made a bm... Ah, there it is...
Chris
[To himself]
Maybe if I don't talk, they won't think I'm here any more.
Lois
Chris, take your brother upstairs, I have to talk to Brian.
Chris
D'oh!
[Getting up]
Let's go little man.
[Picks Stewie up]
Stewie
Hey fat boy! Unhand me you blasted urchin!
UGH! Damn my diminuitive stature!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
More to come later