Introduction!
*The screen lights up to show a booth similar to a sports announcer's box. Inside is a man wearing purple power armor. A toy-sized hologram of another man, dressed in green-purple power armor, sat on the table beside the mic.* "Wow. Regenengel3 doesn't usually do prologues. What gives?" asked the hologram. The man shrugged.
"This isn't like her usual stories. She just wants us to introduce the premise, Chi," he said, addressing the little hologram. It tilted it's head as though curious.
"Premise? Seriously Doc? You're gonna pull out the big words already?" he asked. Doc gave Chi a blank look, made much easier by his full face helmet.
"You're an A.I. You should know what I'm talking about," he said tonelessly. Chi shrugged.
"Yeah, and Alpha should be able to aim," he said with the voice of a teenager.
"Touche," Doc allowed, inclining his head toward the A.I. to acknowledge the point.
"Get on with it you two, I want to start this thing!" a young woman said, popping up in the second chair. Chi saluted.
"Yes ma'am, O Author!" he chirped. Doc sighed, head in his hand.
"You'll have to excuse him, we're still working on his manners," he drawled, regarding the little hologram with something approaching reproach.
"Doc..." the brunette woman said pleadingly, her blue-green eyes flickering toward the camera.
"Right. Ahem. Welcome to the Project Red Spin-Off Show! I'm Frank 'Doc' DeFreanse..." the man said, straightening in his chair.
"And I'm Chi 'The Sarcastic One' Church!" the hologram said, snapping off another cheeky salute.
"And we'll be your hosts as we follow Project Red's adventures in parallel realities. Some will be native and others will wonder just how they managed to reach these new and... interesting... worlds," Doc said, starting strong but trailing off with what sounded like a wince.
"Heh heh! We get to screw with their heads good!" Chi laughed, rubbing his hands together evilly.
"Oh Master Chief, the flashbacks..." Doc moaned.
*THUD*
"Ha ha! Lightweight!" Chi laughed as Doc's head hit the table.
"Chi! Behave! You know what your brother O'Malley did to him!" the woman snapped, glaring at the A.I before eying the table in mild worry. There was a slight dent in the heavy oak.
"Sorry sorry, it was just too easy!" Chi said, not sounding sorry at all. Regenengel3 groaned, head sinking onto crossed arms.
"Ugh, why did I choose a Church to co-host this?" she moaned, sinking further into her chair.
"The alternative was a Grif?" Chi offered. Regenengel3 looked up in thought, then shrugged and sat up straight.
"Good point. Continue," she said, waving a hand imperiously at the A.I. and passed out man.
"Uh... shouldn't we wake Doc up?" Chi asked, poking Doc with his holographic finger. Regenengel3 cupped her chip, giving the passed out man a considering look.
"Hum... another good point. Well, I guess that's good... wait. I know! Chi! The disclaimer! You can do the disclaimer for me!" she said, leveling The Finger at the A.I.
"What? Why would I do that? You do own us... don't you?" Chi asked, rather confused.
"Nah, I don't own you. The changes made to your personality... or... Doc's personality. You didn't get more than a mention. Sorry Chi," regenengel3 said, mildly apologetic.
"Ah well. Can't have it all can we? Okay! Regenengel3 does not own any characters from Red vs Blue. Uh... is there... ?" the little A.I. said, turning to the woman to make sure he didn't leave anything out.
"I don't own the weapons, locations, or food of Red vs Blue, RWBY, Naruto, or whatever other world my altered characters get dropped into," regenengel3 added with a mildly evil grin.
"Wait... why the emphasis on altered?" Chi asked, edging away from the woman slightly.
"Chi... Project Red isn't really mine. They belong to Rooster Teeth. I just... played around with their past, gave them proper training, and forged them into actual soldiers rather than crazy lucky idiots. Which was pretty much the only way they survived to make it out of Blood Gulch at all," regenengel3 explained gently.
"Wait... I thought they were still crazy lucky idiots," Chi said, still confused, but for a different reason. Regenengel3 smirked.
"Ah ah, not quite. They're crazy, lucky, idiots. Easy enough mistake to make really," she corrected.
"Ah... is this that elusive grammar I've heard so much about?" Chi asked.
"Yes, Chi. It is. Would you like me to give you a lesson?" regenengel3 asked, smirk still firmly in place.
"No thanks regenengel3. I don't think we should insult the intelligence of your readers like that," Chi said, waving his hands in front of himself. Regenengel3 chuckled faintly.
"Or you?" she asked knowingly.
"Heh heh... saw through me huh?" the A.I. asked.
"Yeah. Well, I think we've rambled enough..."
"WAIT! We didn't mention Marley! You do own Marley don't you?" Chi suddenly remembered.
"Oh yeah! I do! Borrow her, or two of her teammates from Beacon, with permission please! She's not known as the Surgeon of Death in the RvB!Verse for nothing, don't ya know!" regenengel3 said cheerily, though it was a little too toothy to be pleasant.
"My reference sense is tingling..." Chi muttered.
"Oh, one last thing, this Spin-Off Show was inspired by a suggestion from RandomManGaming to write about Marley at Beacon. Because I was unsure if I could make it a full length story, I decided to make it a series of One Shots!" regenengel3 continued as though she hadn't heard him.
"And it somehow turned into this?"
"What can I say, my muse is a fickle cat creature thing. She also likes to run on dino bones."
"Again, my reference sense is tingling..." Chi said, a little louder.
"Honestly, I don't know what's up with that... anyway, so long and thanks for all the reviews!"
"Now it's jangling..." he moaned, head in his hands.
"Ugh... anyone got some orange juice? My head's killing me," Doc moaned, pulling his head out of the table.
"... No comment," regenengel3 said, standing and walking out. Doc looked to Chi, who shook his head and vanished. Sighing, the medic got up and left in search of a nice, bracing, glass of OJ. *The image freezes as The Media Guy turns off the camera.*
/*/
The Media Guy had seen many things in his life. This... was par for the course sadly. Though, he had to admit, an author chatting away with the characters she was playing with was always fun to see... until they over played the gag. He really hoped regenengel3 wouldn't. She had promise. "Hey Media Guy! Stop that! You're making it sound like I'm bragging!" He sighed. Right. She was writing his thoughts. Whelp, time to do the job she wrote him for and make sure the Introduction was ready for distribution. He shook his head as Doc walked past, hand to his head and Chi rambling on at him from the other side. If the Introduction was any indication, this would be an interesting run.
"Wait... that was seriously all?" Doc asked, looking in the Media Booth. The Media Guy shrugged.
"Regenengel3 did say this was just the introduction didn't she?" he asked, eyes never leaving his laptop screen.
"And you're editing the video on a Toshiba?"
"His name is Tobi. Tobi is a good boy, yes he is!" regenengel3 said, stroking the top of the screen and playing with the almost frayed purple zebra stripe duct tape on the corners. Doc turned on his heel and marched out.
"We shall never speak of this," he hissed to Chi. The green-purple A.I. fragment mimed zipping his lips. "Good," Doc said with a nod. Who knew that author could be so... odd.