They got themselves killed. It wasn't me. Such a sweet girl they said, such a nice girl they said. Ha ha ha it makes me sick. Innocent they said, nice they said, weak they said. Such a sweet girl… heh. That. Girl. Is. Gone.
No one knew her real name. On the first day of school when the teacher asked her name she seemed to think for a second, "Melody. You can call me Melody." she smiled sweetly, at the time I thought, now I see it as wickedly. The teacher, , seemed confused, "But here it says-" She was interrupted by her, "You can call me Melody." she repeated she smiled again but not just any smile that smile. The one that only a maniac could wear.
Who am I? I don't know you tell me. Am I the one who hunts you? The one you hide from at night in the comfort of your bed? The one who watches you? The victim? The hero? The bystander? The accomplice to many murders? Who am I? You decide.
I walked in to my room and into my bathroom. I looked myself in the eye. Violet as usual I thought, wait a second. A flash of red, orange, scarlet, and yellow went through my eyes. Crap. Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap! Where are my pills?! I searched frantically for the tiny bottle that contained my only hope. As I opened the cupboard above the mirror the bottle fell into my hands. I took out two of them and swallowed them down. I looked in the mirror again my eyes were the same violet they always were. Thank god, I thought.
I walked back out to my bedroom and took off my green oversized hoodie and big headphones. I then threw off my black and green sneakers and my socks and flopped down on my bed facing the ceiling. I thought about the day they diagnosed me.
Three years ago…
"So we just need you to sit right here." The doctor said. The room I was in was so bright I had to squint. Though thats not unlike other times since my eyes are sensitive to light. practically everything in the room was white or light colored except for me, I was wearing all black. It must have looked like a black ink splat on a white canvas. The walls were bare, not a single painting or anything hanging from them. the floor was white tile that was reflecting a bright glare from the light coming through the window. The chair I sat in was also white. It was an uncomfortable plastic chair with metal legs. I looked up hoping for something different that the rest of the room but the ceiling too was a plain old white surface. I shifted uncomfortably in my black hoodie as I awaited the news.
"Melody right?" A young nurse asked. I looked at her for a second before my mother replied, "Yes thats her name." I looked up at her. My mother was a beautiful woman with shoulder length brownish-black hair and hazel eyes that seemed to pierce your soul if you looked too long, she was about five foot eight and about average weight with pale skin. My dad was much different, he had short blonde hair, was six foot two, had soft blue eyes, tan skin and was skinnier than most. Of course I was much different than both of them, I have violet eyes, purple hair, extremely pale skin, I'm four foot six, and I'm average weight. I was thirteen.
"Right this way." the nurse said, her tone was so sweet it sickened me. She had Green eyes, Black hair and was pretty tall. We were led to a room with one of those vinyl doctors beds with the paper cover thing.
"Please sit here." the doctor from before suggested while gesturing to the bed. Reluctantly I climbed onto the bed and sat down facing the people in front of me. The doctor started talking again.
"We have come to the conclusion that your daughter has an extreme multiple personality disorder called Dissociative Identity Disorder." He stated calmly. My parents got worried looks on their faces as he continued, "What happens is her personality and identity can change within seconds, minutes, hours, or days. she slips into these two other different personas and-"
"Blazestar and Soulstar." I interrupted.
"I'm sorry what?" The doctor asked confused.
"Their names are Blazestar and Soulstar. Blazestar is completely insane as Soulstar is completely sane." I answered.
"Oh. Okay, so in this case the other two identities are Blazestar and Soulstar Correct?" The doctor asked.
"Yes their souls live inside me." I answered.
"I see…" The doctor trailed on as he wrote notes down on his pad.
"Well your daughter should be fine as long as she takes these pills whenever she starts to slip between identities." He concluded handing my mother an orange bottle filled with blue-green pills.
"You should be fine." The nurse assured, "You're such a sweet girl." she smiled sweetly.
"Thank you." I replied though I hated it. Everyone always says that to me it's annoying.
Back In Present…
I Grabbed my iPhone and my black and silver headphones off my desk and played my favorite song, "Animal I Have Become" by Three Days Grace. It basically described my entire life.
I can't escape this hell
So many times i've tried
I can't escape my personality disorder, no matter what its a part of me.
But i'm still caged inside
I can't get away from this i'm caged inside my own life.
Somebody get me through this nightmare
My life is a nightmare.
I can't control myself
I cant control my own personality disorder I could go insane at any moment.
So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
My dark side Blazestar, so what if anyone sees her?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Right because she'll kill everyone.
Help me believe it's not the real me
What if I am Blazestar and it's really who I am now that took over that personality?
Somebody help me tame this animal
No thats ridiculous Blazestar is an animal.
I can't escape myself
I can't escape my own personality… or can I? I can become Soulstar…
So many times i've lied
No I'm lying to myself I can't do that.
But there's still rage inside
Blazestar she feasts on the site of blood, a crave driven by her rage and insanity.
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I need help… not like the obvious mental help but like emotional help from like a friend… should I tell them?
I can't control myself
No I can't if I tell Brian and Tim they won't leave me alone they'll try to help me and i'll just end up hurting them. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to them and it was my fault…
I listened to the rest of the song and then did my homework. I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. I examined my purple hair, I was born with purple hair and violet eyes. I loved it. It separated me from the "normal" people, It makes me unique. I heard my ringtone: "Demons" by Imagine Dragons.
"Look into my eyes it's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide…"
I picked up my phone and answered it.
"Hello?" I asked
"Hey sweatshirt."Said the person on the other end.
"Tim or Brian?" I asked.
"Brian. But Tims behind me, Tim say hi." Brian answered
"Hi." Tim said
"Hi Tim."
"So where are you?" Brian asked.
"In my room." I replied, "Why?"
"Do you wanna come with us to the clearing in the woods? We're gonna build a treehouse in that big oak tree." Brian explained.
"Sure. Will there be food?" I asked.
"Are elephants grey? Of course we're bringing food!" Brian replied.
"Sweet. I'm in!" I exclaimed.
"Okay. Meet us at Rosenberg Park in...ten?" Tim suggested.
"Yeah sounds good." I replied. "See you there?"
"Yeah see ya!" Brian and Tim said at the same time.
"Bye. See ya there." I ended and hung up the phone. I put on my green hoodie, my mismatching socks, my shoes, and my purple tinted sunglasses. I grabbed my black and dark red backpack with skulls on it and put my two notebooks, my sketch pad, and my colored pencils in it. I Put my phone in my right pocket and my pills in a hidden pocket within my right pocket. I turned the light off in my room and left for Rosenberg Park to meet Tim and Brian.
Time skip to when Melody arrives at the park…
"Hey Sweatshirt." I heard behind me. I turned around to see Tim and Brian walking towards me.
"Looks like you beat us here." Brian said with a smile. I smiled back.
"Looks like it, I think you two are losing your edge." I smirked.
"Ha you wish!" Brian exclaimed.
"Yeah we just stopped to get this." Tim explained pulling out a purple flashlight. He tossed it to me and I caught it in my right hand.
"In case it gets dark." Brian explained.
"No dip sherlock I thought it was in case we saw an ice cream truck."
I replied sarcastically.
"Ha Ha very funny. Lets just go so we can actually get something done."
Tim suggested.
"Yeah Tims right lets go." I agreed. We started to walk into the woods. It was filled with trees and bushes, yeah pretty much your average forest. We followed the familiar trail we had all grown used to. Tims family owned Rosenberg Park and they said it was okay to build a treehouse here. We finally reached the clearing after a couple minutes of walking. Tim and Brian walked over to an old shed that I had never paid any attention to and pulled out a ton of wood.
"We've been stocking up on wood to make this treehouse." Tim said saving me from the confusion. I nodded my head and went over to help them. After we pulled out all the materials we started to build we decided to build it on a few strong branches about seventeen feet of the ground. each side of the floor had a sturdy branch to rest on. the floor was made out of wooden planks on a square base the wooden planks were all tested and stable. We then built the first two walls that were also made of wooden planks that were screwed onto two wooden planks in the corners. We tested the two walls and found them to be sturdy. By then three hours had passed and we were exhausted. We decided on a thirty minute break. Tim brought up the food and drinks. He tossed me the water bottle I had brought and then pulled out the last water bottle.
"Theres only one left. Here Brian you can have it." Tim offered.
"What? No you need it more Tim you take it." Brian refused.
"How 'bout we share it?" Tim suggested.
"Sounds good." Brian said. Tim opened the bottle and took a quick sip before handing it to Brian who took a sip as well. They kept sharing the water as we ate and talked about how good the treehouse looked so far. The floor was six by six and the walls we had were six and a half feet tall. We decided to make a triangle roof and a rectangle doorway. We added a rope ladder and decided to replace the wood with metal rungs.
After the break was over we went back to work. Tim was working on one of the walls. He was standing on the edge of a seventeen foot drop.
"Tim be careful! Come back over here before you fall!" Brian scolded.
"Relax mom, i'll be fine!" Tim said. And just like that his foot slipped. "AHHH!" He exclaimed.
"TIM!" Brian shouted. He rushed over and grabbed Tims hand before it was too late. I ran over but Brian had already pulled Tim back up. Brian was holding/hugging Tim.
"It's okay I got you. You're okay now. You're gonna be fine." He said Tim was shaking and crying. "Shhh… It's ok I got you now." Brian reassured there were also tears in his eyes. He started to rub circles on Tims back to calm him down. After a while Tims cries died down and he fell asleep.
"Help me carry him down?" Brian asked gesturing to Tim.
"Yeah sure." I replied. Eventually we were all on the ground again and it was getting dark. I switched on my flashlight. Brian carried Tim out of the woods bridal style as I led with the flashlight. We walked back to Tims house as we agreed to sleep there earlier. Brian carried Tim up to his room and tucked him in. I settled on the floor with my sleeping bag figuring Brian deserved to sleep on the couch.
"You can sleep on the couch." Brian stated. "I'm sleeping on the floor in Tims room."
"Oh uh thanks." I replied getting up on the couch.
"You're fine with being alone out here right?" Brian asked.
"I'll be fine. Go, get some sleep." I scolded.
"Okay…" He said exhausted. And he walked back upstairs to Tims room to sleep. I layed on the couch awake for awhile thinking about today. Tim almost got himself killed… thank god Brian was there to save him. Tim looked so scared but not as scared as Brian was, I guess it makes sense though, I mean Tim has been Brian's best friend since they were two. I can't imagine Brian without Tim by his side. Well at least everyones ok. I thought to myself I stayed awake for another hour or so before falling asleep.