I watch him, and I know he knows I am here, gazing at him from my room. Chills run through my body as his muscles ripple as he moves, twisting and turning in the sunlight. His pale skin shines with perspiration, and his dark silky tresses stick to his forehead and face, framing those beautiful features. Every time he moves, his eyes catch the light, the bright red of the blood he has spilt. There is no doubt in my mind that even as his body shows signs of human weakness, his mind is alive and in a flurry of possible offensive and defensive strategies.
He has no flaws, because he is perfect.
For a moment, he is stagnant, and even from my distance I can see the pinwheels of the Sharingan rotate wildly within the pools of crimson that are his eyes. His opponent will never stand a chance, but I admire the blonde's bravery, for it is he who challenged the Uchiha.
It is a dance perfected by years of training and wisdom, for there is no other out there who can beat him. As explosives are tossed his way, his body nimbly moves aside, flexible even as his own hands create his jutsu. Fire erupts from his lips, the ones that I have dreamed about for months now, and swallows an entire half of the massive training ground. His breathing is only slightly hitched, not labored or pressured, for this type of attack takes no toll on him by now.
When the flames dissipate and the smoke clears, I see that his opponent is unable to fight any longer. He respects his partner's weakness and allows another of his many companions to take the blonde away. A moment passes, and then our gazes lock.
My breath catches and I feel my heart rate increase painfully within my chest. I hear it pounding at my ribs, my heart having one spasm attack after another as we stare at each other. All I can hope is that my weakness does not show on my face, because I know he would not approve should he know of how I feel. But how can I not feel this way? He is everything to me, and I will never have the strength or will to deny that.
For I have nothing left.
I let my surprise show for a moment as the thought enters my head and I hurriedly draw the red curtains across the window. Shaking my head, I place a hand over my chest and back away into the cool shadows of my room to sit carefully on the edge of my bed. A part of me knows he will not come to reprimand me for my watching him, but a bigger side of me wants him to. Even if he is angry with me, I want to see him and hear his voice, the one that sounds like a melody every time he speaks.
My heart slowly calms down, the same time disappoint dampens my hopes when I realize full minutes have passed and my room is still empty beside myself. I close my eyes and let my hands fall from my chest to rest palms-down on the silk of my bed sheets. The black cloth is chilled and I shiver lightly at the sensation it sends through the nerves in my fingers and hands.
I try not to think of him and instead choose to let my mind ponder the thought that had so slyly slipped into my mind. It had been years since I had thought so negatively about my life, decided to pity myself in any way whatsoever. Now, though, I supposed it was a good chance to wrestle some demons of the past and set things straight for myself. The subject itself has been haunting me despite my wishes anyway, and I ease the psychological barriers of my mind to let any and all possibilities wander through.
The first is that I know I was right, and all I have left now was myself, and the sanctuary he has provided for me. He cares more for me than my supposed friends, and it disgusts me to think that I could have ever trusted such traitorous people. I remember the first time I came here and think of how it had been against my will, when I was still willing to believe Konoha's lies. Now, though, I was strong and well informed, all because of him.
Here, I am happy, because it feels like I belong for the first time in my life. With the others, back when I was a team with them, I was underestimated and ignored. I was kicked into the shadows of the people I was supposed to work together with, the ones who wanted nothing to do with me because I was not important enough to them.
I think of Naruto, the container of the nine-tailed fox and realize just how many people would turn their eyes to him in fear and respect. Then my mind wanders to Sasuke, his look-alike and the one who was special, because he had survived and he was so talented. Even my teacher, Kakashi, had been of more significance, for he was the legendary copycat ninja, the one who could wield the Sharingan and was not an Uchiha. Afterwards, Sai, too, had proven to be of more use than I, and nothing made me more upset.
However, I had grown strong here. Now, I am the best of any kunoichi from Konoha, and there is no one who could convince to go back to that retched city. He has taught me right from wrong, the real truth behind the life of a shinobi. I will never forget the kindness he has shown me, and I will repay him in any form I can, for he deserves it most.
My range of genjutsu is so broad now, and most of my illusions are perfect by now. It takes a total of two and a half seconds to disable someone else's and only four to reverse it on my opponent given it is a basic enough technique. Ninjutsu is much easier now, thanks to his help, and now I can perform fire and water jutsus, plus a few of my own. My aim is as good as his and my taijutsu beats Lee's without a doubt. I am strong now. I love it.
Even simply leaving here is better than it was at Konoha. I can do as I wish, and they no longer have to keep me hostage, because they know I will return. I am addicted to this place now, with no desire whatsoever to run away. I think their leader knows that…that I will always come back, and he uses that to his advantage. I do not care. Everyone here is remarkably kind. At first, things were very hostile given the unfortunate circumstances, but our relationships slowly grew into friendship…and something more for him.
Everyone here fears him except their leader and his partner. Whether they admit it or show it on their face, I taste the respect and fear in the air as he enters the room, the silence he brings with him like an omen of death. It makes me love him even more.
I do not know when I first found an interest in this man, and why I still do not know completely. He is just so perfect, so unlike his pathetic brother in every way that to me he is an angel sent from somewhere, hell or heaven, to rescue me. He has saved me and I love him for that. Over the time I have spent here, my unstable feelings have grown stronger and more overwhelming, to the point where I sit and watch him whenever I can.
We train together a lot now, and though he goes easy on me, I still have not been able to get him to break into a sweat. It angers and annoys me, but I do not feel any remorse towards him when he makes me feel so small. Around him, I do not feel weak like Sasuke or Naruto made me feel, only feminine and petite. It is something no one has ever made me feel before. It used to bug me that he would sometimes let me get in a shot or something, but now I see why he does it.
He wants me to do better and he wants me to learn.
He will leave little openings for me, the smallest ones so he knows that I am being observant. Occasionally, he will pretend to make a mistake and I have to figure out how to reverse it. Other times, he focuses his techniques into a single method and makes me figure out how to defeat him. It is like a training sequence with thousands of different levels and secrets, a game almost that I have to beat. Then, we will work on some exercises and stances and small jutsus together, and then sometimes, we will just talk. I think I like those moments the best.
When I am too tired after training though, which I sometimes consider faking, he will carry me to my room. Without a word, he will sweep me off my feet just before I collapse or lift me from the ground I have fallen to and let me rest in his arms as he takes me upstairs. His arms will wrap around me and create a special haven that it solely the essence of him, and being in his grasp makes me feel safer than it does vulnerable.
It surprised me the first time he did it, because he is not prone to showing any ounce of emotion or kindness whatsoever. But he did, and I let him willing. The gesture threw me completely off guard and also touched my soul in away I will never forget. He will place me in my bed and cover me with my blankets, and when I think he might leave, he will always lean down and brush his lips lightly over my forehead. I was nearly asleep the first time he did it, and I had thought I had been dreaming, but he came to me the next night and did it again.
He does it every night, and I look forward to it from the moment I wake up each morning.
I love everything about him. I love his hair, the way it blows in the wind and tangles during battle, long black locks that probably feel like silk. I love his skin, how smooth and flawless it is, a deadly pale that almost beats my own porcelain tone. I love his eyes, when they are dark and mysterious or when they are bright and bloodthirsty. I love his voice, whether it is used calmly or commandingly, a hiss of vaporous threats hidden beneath a soft malice in his words.
If anything, I love his laugh the most, for I believe I am the only one alive who has heard it, save Sasuke of course. Around me, he has laughed a surprising amount of times, his eyes lighting up amusedly, an untamable spark. His lips will curl into that faint smile, for when he laughs, it is on the breath of the wind, something I have to wish upon stars to catch. He is so perfect. I just wish I could…
There is a knock from the door and I stop my wishing for a moment.
I freeze, my fingers snapping tightly around the sheets, gathering them in my hands. Instinctively, my jade colored eyes soar to the clock on the wall. It is hours after dinners and dusk has already fallen in my daydreaming, so that must mean only one thing: he has come. The knocks come again and I wince, thinking of any other possibility that may involve me not answering the door.
I can pretend I am asleep, but I know he will not fall for that. Not even a genin would. If I try to ignore him, he will hurt me, I know. He has before when I failed to follow the rules of Akatsuki, but he has not in such a long time. It will hurt to know I am still just a woman to him.
My hand slips to touch my chest again, trying to calm my heart as I reach for the doorknob. The knocking is more aggravated now, furious and loud, but I nonetheless allow my fingertips to brush the metal of the knob. I hope that after this I can still love him after this and that we might still be together in time. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and bite my lip gently, letting my fingers curl around the door.
"Sakura, open the fucking door!"
I jump back, startled out of my wits by the anger and fury in his voice. He has never been so impatient before, and it scares me to think I have agitated him so badly. My first thought is to run and hide in the closet, but I quickly reprimand myself for such silly immature thoughts. At once, I understood my surprise and hurriedly reach out to lock the door instead of opening it. It is not him.
I step back into the room, further away from the pounding on the door. I consider covering my ears, but think it would be too cowardly. So I simply stand there and watch the door trembling in its hold, hoping he is not angry enough to knock it over. I am beginning to count off the people who might miss me when I new voice comes to brighten my day.
"Hidan, what are you doing?"
The noise stops and I can picture the look on that jerk's face when he turns around to face my love. There is no doubt in my mind that he is mad about being heard, though I hope he gets his face blown off. The Akatsuki member has been staring at me for the last couple of weeks, flirting suggestively and hinting to me things I dream about…but with him, not Hidan. He disgusts me, and I am glad that I am safe now. I stand and step closer to the door so I can hear their words.
"The little brat won't open her door," Hidan complains, and I scowl at the sound of his voice. "I've been knocking on her door forever! It's like she's not even in there!"
"That's because she's not," he says, and I frown at his words before I understand. "She went down to take a look at Deidara."
"Oh," Hidan mutters, but says nothing else.
I try not to giggle, but the sound threatens to burst through my mouth. I clamp a hand over it to stifle the sound, and it works, but only when I bite my lip hard. Hidan is so stupid.
"Go," he commands simply, and I hear Hidan cursing under his breath, walking away with a disappointed stomp in his step.
His footsteps fade, but I continue to wait in the silence. I wonder if he has left, too, but I can feel his presence in the air, on my tongue, and in my veins. I know he is there even though I cannot sense his chakra. The jutsu that resides over the Akatsuki headquarters makes it impossible to read anyone's chakra flow unless it is approved by their leader. I wonder if he actually thinks I am not in here, but then the doorknob jiggles once and I can hear his inaudible sigh in my mind. I bite my lip harder, knowing he is annoyed with me.
"Unlock it, Sakura," he says softly.
I smile at the tone of his voice, so soft and understanding and gentle. He knows I am afraid and will not hurt me when I am so vulnerable. Another thought enters my head and I blush when I realize he is asking my permission to enter my room privately. It is surely an honor, so I unlock the door as he asked and step away from it so he can swing it open.
My head is bowed out of embarrassment, nervousness, and a little bit of guilt as he opens the door and steps inside. I feel my veins turn hot and cold at the same time when the door is shut again, and the lock clicks once. My mind races at the possibilities, but worry still consumes me.
"Would you like to say something to me?" he asks, and I am surprised by his question. It is not like him.
I can feel the coldness in his voice as he speaks and it almost makes tears come to my eyes. It is as if I betrayed him, and there is no way I can make up for it. There is no way for me to notice I have whimpered until I hear his tiny sigh, and I blush at my weakness. He must think so little of me, cowering in his presence like a child. He will never love me. I close my eyes and hope he will just forget me until tomorrow. I have no such luck.
"You know of what I speak, Sakura," he encourages, his tone still harboring irritation, something that has taken me these long years to catch. "Don't you?"
It is not really a question, more of a statement of fact, but I still feel the need to deny it with all my heart and soul. I do not know why I feel this, but I shake my head meekly before I understand it and keep my eyes shut tight as I feel the tension draw up in the room. I have made him angry.
I feel sword-calloused fingers grip my chin and jerk it upward, none too lightly, but not enough to actually hurt me. I keep my eyes shut because I am scared, but he still orders me to look at him. His word is simple, direct, and so perfectly masculine as he orders me.
"Open."
I cannot help but obey and let my eyelids lift slowly to look at him. I am met with the silence of glinting, black orbs. It relieves me to know he is not using his Sharingan, but I know he does not have to use it to punish me in any way. I flinch at the coldness in his eyes, but he does not allow me to turn my gaze away. Instead, he holds my face close to his, so close I can feel the air shift as his mouth moves in front of mine.
"You are a liar," he claims, and I whimper softly under his heated gaze. "Would you care to try…?"
His sentence trails as his gaze moves down, and I watch in confusion. The narrow set of his eyes thins when he glares at something he does not understand, curious and also vaguely annoyed. Then his fingers soften around my chin and I gasp as something moist trickles down my chin and drips onto his finger. I blink as he holds up his finger, and I watch the rivulet of blood run from the tip and down its length.
"What did you do?" he asks, and I blush furiously at the question. "Did Hidan…?"
"No," I whisper, and my voice cracks. I do not want him to know. It is embarrassing and horrifyingly simple. I am so stupid. He raises an eyebrow at me, and I feel that he needs me to tell him. It is painful for him not to know, so I smile nervously, a flitting smile that is not worthy of his eyes. "Um…"
He sees now that I am embarrassed, not hurt or in trouble, despite the stinging on my bottom lip. His lips curve into a smirk, one of the deadly playful ones he has used in our training matches. I try to speak, but I cannot. He leans closer to me, and murmurs.
"What, Sakura?" I know he is thoroughly amused, and I close my eyes as I answer his question.
"I bit it…" I mutter softly. There is a stillness of the air as he takes in my modestly humiliating confession.
"You…bit…your…lip…?" he asks slowly, and I sigh at the laughter in his voice. Knowing that he finds it funny makes my face turn darker, and I pout lightly, opening my eyes but making sure to look away. His humor darkens a little as he adds, "You still have to answer my question."
I sigh.
"Well?"
"I don't know…I just…well…"
"I'm waiting, Sakura."
"I just like watching you, okay?"
I know that it was said somewhat in annoyance, but I suck in a breath when he says nothing. I take it as a sign to continue, so I inhale once more and do just that, as truthfully as I can.
"I just like watching you, because I think that what you do is amazing. I respect and admire you, and I can't help but feel somewhat privileged knowing I am allowed to see your strength in person. And it's more than that. I feel drawn to you. I feel safe around you. You make me feel as though I'm actually wanted, though I know I'm probably not. Your brother didn't want me, Konoha didn't want me… I know I wouldn't want me. But you give me a sense of longing and hope, and I guess I'm just desperate or something. I promise you I will try not to do it anymore. I'm sorry… I'm sorry I bothered you…or if this upsets you, the way I feel. But, nonetheless…this is my answer…"
I am astounded by the silence I hear from him. A minute passes and I hesitantly look up to see what he is doing. I expect to see a look of horror or disgust or sorrow, but instead I see genuine fascination, or maybe it is something more than that. His eyes are bright with something I cannot explain, and a tug pulls at my heart. He looks so loving and kind, touched in a way. It draws me toward him, and I know that my words have affected him.
"Itachi…" He cuts me off.
"Your lip…"
"What?"
I am surprised by the subject change, and even more the intensity of his gaze as it lowers to my lip. Blood is pooling at the wound, and I resist the urge to lick it away. He looks back to me and I blink, blushing at how he appears now…ravenous.
"Let me clean it for you…"
I blink, taken aback by his strange offer. What has gotten into him?
"It's fine," I say, and gesture behind me. "I can get a washcloth and some water, and it'll be fine."
"There's no need," he whispers, and suddenly leans close to me.
Fear enters me and I move away before I can think about it, shocked and unprepared for his advances. As soon as I step back, though, he steps forward, completely in sync with me. I gasp, blushing when his leg ends up in between mine, making my entire body fill with heat. I inhale when he moves even closer, his arm encircling my waist and his hand cupping my chin instead of grasping it. He pulls my face closer to his, but he pauses and says two words.
"I'm sorry."
My hopes are demolished by those words, for he says them as if he is leaving. But then my lip screams in pain as it is crushed beneath his and my eyes grow wide. He is kissing me. Despite how wonderful it feels, I am upset by the pain, and I whine beneath his mouth. He seems to understand, for the pressure lightens and I feel something graze my tender flesh.
I feel my eyes flicker shut, my body melting into his as his tongue massages my lower lip. It feels as if I am slipping into another world, and he is carrying me there, letting me float into his everything. A sudden desperate sensation clawed at my stomach and I feared this would not last long, that it was too good to be true. I wrap an arm around his neck, clinging to him fiercely with the wish of never letting go. The fingers of my other hand entangle in his hair, twisting the locks I have wanted to touch for so long.
I gasp again when he pulls me flush against him and I slide up his leg. Naturally, I let my body shift over it so one leg is hooked around his, the other pressing against him. I hear him growl low against my lips, and I both blush and smirk. I let my leg brush him again, and this time he lets out a low moan of pleasure. It makes my heart attack my senses. The noise is so beautiful, and when I giggle, he smirks.
His teeth suddenly nibble gently on my bottom lip, and I let out a tiny cry of both surprise and pain. He takes immediate advantage of it and takes my entire lip into his mouth, sucking on it delightfully, his tongue still caressing it. I moan and move against him, squirming without knowing what I am doing. All I can do is act on my instinct, and he shivers in unison with me, his arm holding me tightly.
By the time he is done, my lip does not hurt anymore, and he tilts his head up. When he does, I am surprised when he thrusts his tongue into my mouth. I accept it, though, and he encourages my own to come out and play with his, battling for the dominance we both know is his. His hand suddenly travels downward and he smirks in satisfaction against my mouth as I jump forward into him, caught off guard.
I have never had someone grab my ass before. I have always thought it to be perverted…but Itachi makes it seem cute.
Then his mouth is gone and I gasp at the loss, but suddenly his lips are closing over my earlobe. I shiver and feel myself fall into him farther, loosing myself in his perfection. He nips it once and then moves down, stroking my neck with his tongue. A second later he is sucking the nape of my neck and I moan. When he moves up to my lips again, he lets his tongue lick away the blood that had run down my chin beforehand and I force my eyes open to look at him.
My gaze catches his as I move against him suggestively, my breathing already labored as I grind against him slowly. He inhales sharply and kisses me hard again, moving both his hands to my waist so he can pull me to him and grind against my hips. I moan louder than before, this superb feeling inside me making my thoughts shut down, turning off anything but the pleasure within. I feel heat somewhere inside me, a hot coil ready to spring below the pit of my stomach. Despite this unfamiliar sensation, I go along with it and eagerly play along. This is what I want.
Then I am on my back, on my bed, and my breath leaves my lungs. Before I can regain it, his tongue dominates my mouth and takes any oxygen I have left away. He is straddling my waist as he leans down, cheek against mine, lips tickling my ear.
"Do you want it, Sakura?"
My body freezes and I cannot breath. In one way, I am frightened. Itachi can demand anything of me and not need my permission. If anything, he can rape me and get away with it… But I know deep down that he will not do that. I was intimidated and scared, but I am also turned on. His voice is husky, deep and seductive. He is not commanding me to do anything. He us asking…
He is begging for me to accept him. I make my decision.
"I do," I whisper, and he tenses for a moment and then relaxes.
Neither of us say anything, but this silence is not one of tension or hesitance. I can feel his happiness, the sheer joy of being accepted, finally being loved. I know this feeling, and I share it with him. He then raises his head to look at me, all playfulness gone from his expression. I had not lied to him this time. He knows that, but he touches my nose with his and asks me to confirm it.
"Are you sure?" he asks, and I can do nothing but smile.
And take his face gently in my hands.
And kiss him as sweetly as possible.
"Take me, Itachi."
I wake to a strong arm around my waist and sweet, warm breath fanning over the back of my neck. My eyes flutter open somewhat, cracking open as a yawn comes to my throat. Smiling, I am reassured that he is still here with me. At first, I had thought he would leave, probably for a mission, for I knew if he loves anything, it is fighting. But I can feel him completely against me, and I smile as I am reminded of our experiences the night before.
I have had sex with Itachi Uchiha.
I have finally caressed and stroked those muscles I have gazed upon for years, admiring and touching both lightly and roughly. I have kissed and licked him in the places that others have never seen before. I have stared into orbs of ruby and of onyx, captivating and enchanting in their own eerie way. I have felt pain and pleasure rolled into the sweetest package my tongue has ever tasted. I have felt no remorse, regret, or guilt in my actions as sensations naturally tingled my nerves. I have made love to a murderer and committed treason against my village.
I am happy.
I shift slightly in his grasp, but my smile twists as a sharp pain shoots through me, its origin from in between my legs. I wince and curl slightly, and I hear him chuckle softly behind me. The sound relaxes me and I sigh in content and snuggle back into his chest. He settles his arm more comfortably around my waist and nuzzles my neck lovingly.
"Good morning," I greet, smiling and lifting a hand behind my head touch his cheek.
"Hn," he mumbles, but I can feel his smile against my skin. His tongue slips out to tease my nerves and trails up to the base of my ear where he whispers, "How are you feelings?"
"Amazing," I say truthfully and he sinks his teeth into the tender flesh below my ear for being a smart ass. "Okay, okay. I am a little sore."
"Hn," he grunts again and I giggle at the odd way he shows he cares about me. He licks the place where he bit me and kisses he gently. "You should be. You will feel better soon."
"I know," I say as I turn in his arms so I can look up into his eyes. They are so beautiful, and I have to kiss him again, innocently this time.
I see him smile as I pull away from the chaste kiss and he rests his forehead against mine. We stare at each other like this for a long time, happy and content with being in each other's arms. I never expected this from him, but I love him all the same. I giggle after a while and bury my face in his chest shyly.
He puts his arms around me and rubs my back gently, but after a few moments he seems to become lost in his thoughts and ceases his movements. I smile, not really caring if he cannot be so sweet for such a long period of time. He is trying to be human, to be loving and warm and open, and that means the world to me. I place my hands on his chest, feeling his heart beat, his pulse, and know he is there for me. We are one person now. One soul. I smile as he lays his head on mine.
And then he speaks. He speaks words that make my eyes widen and my breathing stop. He speaks and it makes my chest to ache because my heart stops completely and my throat burns with turns.
"I love you, Sakura."
Just those four words break me down and I feel tears well in my eyes. I do not let them fall, though, because he makes me happy and I smile through those unshed tears. My heart has cranked back up and pounding away at full sped in my chest, full of life and love. I inhale deeply, and it is a shaky breath, raspy because my throat is tight, but it sooths my stomach and chest and throat, this oxygen that gives me the will to live for him. His arms tighten around me as I pull myself as close to him as possible.
I realize I had been wrong. So very wrong. As I return his words with all the emotion and feeling and honesty I can muster, I jump inwardly in joy and delight, for there has never been anything I have wanted more. Because he has finally told me he loves me.
And that is the most beautiful sound.
Okay, I totally re-wrote this oneshot, because I felt that it had a lot of issues. For one thing, I switched from present-tense to past-tense really randomly. I change the entire thing to present-tense because I felt that it fit the scene better. I fixed some OOC-ness hopefully and also grammer/spelling/punctuation. It is much better now, I hope. I think it will satisfy you all.
By the way, for my regular readers, I think I will be updating and editing a lot of my fanfictions, because I wrote some of them years ago. My first one, ironically, "My First," was written two years ago in 2007, which is actually almost three years ago. So, have fun reading my improved, not-so-new work.
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