Three words, that's all I wanted to hear from her. Three simple words, but somehow she couldn't say them. She was never able to say them. No matter how many times I said them to her and how long I patiently waited for her to say them back to me. Five years. Five years of sitting around waiting for her to say those three little words. Eventually, I couldn't do it any longer. I couldn't just stand by and let her continue to pull me around on a string. I was tired of waiting for her to finally realize the truth. I was tired of submersing to her every will. I had to get away from her, so I did.
Now, five years later as I am sitting in my Chicago apartment with my girlfriend the phone rings. No big deal, the phone rings all the time. However, when I answer, I hear a voice I hadn't heard in two long years.
"Edward, is that you? I hope it is," the voice on the other end of the line anxiously asked.
"Yes, It is me," I replied slightly confused. Why after five years would she be calling me?
"Oh thank God! Edward you have to come back to Washington. She needs you," I was shocked.
"What do you mean she needs me, Alice? I waited for her for five years and never once did she need me then," even I could hear the venom in my voice. I looked into the living room and saw Tanya sitting on the couch playing with the bracelet I had bought her for Christmas.
"Edward, she fell apart when you left. We all thought it was going to pass, but when she stayed depressed we started to worry," Alice was on the verge of tears.
"Alice, what is going on? Why are you calling me now? Why didn't she?" I couldn't help it; I was starting to get irritated. I had finally gotten over her and moved on with my life. Just when I was starting to become happy with my new life and Tanya, she had to come and throw it all to hell again.
"Edward," Alice was sobbing so hard that I could barely understand her, " Edward, she can't call you."
"Why not, Alice? Is she still pissed at me?"
"No, she's not mad at anybody anymore." I heard the sadness and regret in Alice's voice now.
"Then what is it Alice?" Fear was starting to creep into my mind. Was she in trouble? Did she get in with the wrong crowd?
"Edward, she's…she's…she's dead."
"What?" My life stopped. Nothing else mattered. "How?" I was afraid to hear the answer.
"She killed herself last night. I was at her house, we had just returned from Port Angeles. We had gone to see that new romance. She told me she was going to take a shower and that I should make myself at home. She was in the shower for over half an hour and you know as well as I that she took showers in ten minutes tops. I walked upstairs to the bathroom with a joke on my lips when I saw her. She was in the tub, her eyes were open and blank, and the floor and the water were blood red." Alice was literally shrieking into the phone. I had never heard her so upset, but that isn't what made me drop the receiver. No, I dropped the receiver because the one person in my life I had ever truly loved had committed suicide. I didn't want to hear the answer to my next question, but I had to.
"Did she say why?" I heard my voice waiver.
"All her note said was 'I love you.'"
I lost it. I was sobbing. The three words I had never heard her say were finally out in the open. Finally, after ten years, she lets me know that she loves me. Except, she only wrote that she loved me because she was taking her own life.
She was gone. There was no way I was ever going to hear her voice again or see her beautiful face. Tanya came over to me and held me as I cried. She talked to my sister and found out what had me so upset as I cried like a baby. When Alice finally hung up and Tanya returned the receiver to its dock, I dried my eyes. I looked Tanya in the eyes. She was tearing up too.
"Edward," she whispered, "do you still love her?" There was no anger in her voice, only a little sadness.
"Yes, Tanya," I whimpered, "I still love her." Tanya's tears spilled over as she rose from her spot next to me on the floor. I didn't even try to stop her as she gathered her things and left.
I don't know how long I sat on the floor, but I finally calmed down enough to think clearly. The news hit me all over again. I had to talk to someone, so I called the only person who could understand what I was feeling.
"Edward? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, but I thought you deserved to know."
"Is it really true? Or were you just messing with me?"
"What? Edward, why would I make up something like this?" I could hear the hurt in her voice.
"So it's true." My voice was no longer cracking or wavering.
"Yes," I could hear Alice, my baby sister, lose it, so what did I do? I said the one thing that would make it final in my head.
"Bella is dead."