A/N

I want to say hello to all of you that are reading this story right now the new and the old. As some of you may know this story has already been posted but I hope you like this version which as you can see is a lot different.

** This story will contain a few scenes of violence and sex as you can see from the rating so be warned.

I really hope you all enjoy this story, please review at the bottom.

My darling child, I don't know what life is like in the future, I don't know the life I will lead in the future but I know that I love you. I will always love you just like your father will; nothing will ever change this fact.

There may be many things that we will come across together as a family in the future - problems that we may come across, but as a family we will cross these obstacles.

There are so many things that I wish to tell you, so many things about my life, the bleak times where I was afraid for my life, for our lives, and there are happier times, like the first time I saw your father, the first time I held you in my arms and the moment I said 'I do'. God, I could go on forever, looking at your sleeping face there beside me just three months old. You are so beautiful and so innocent, a beacon of hope in my life.

I don't know when I'll give you this letter, or even if I'll give you this letter. You're just so innocent and pure; I couldn't bear to ruin your life or your opinion of your father and me. I look at your face right now and see an endless cavern of possibility for our future and it's beautiful. God, it's beautiful. If I ever lost the hope and joy that you bring me in life I don't know how I would get up in the morning, or how I would survive.

What would be worth living for without joy and hope? A life wouldn't be a life without those to things; you would no longer be living, merely surviving.

I can remember a time, before I met your Father, when my life was empty and unfulfilled. Even just a year ago, there was so little hope, so little joy in my life.

This was a time when I coasted along, surviving for my father only.

I am not saying I was depressed or suicidal, I just felt as if I didn't belong in the world but I still had my father, Jasper, Rosalie and Angela, they helped me to live. They gave me a reason to live, a reason to be in this world, without them I doubt I would have survived long enough to meet your father and for that I will be eternally grateful to them. I love your father so much, the wedding last week is something I will remember forever and I will tease you mercilessly for years to come about not wanting to be out of your father's arms during the ceremony.

Saying 'I do' to the man I love is a moment I shall never forget; I shall remember it for the rest of my life.

I shall treasure it for the rest of my life. How could anyone forget a moment like that?

That day I finally became complete - whole as if the entire world had been created for us, had planned every detail so intricately so that at that very moment I would become his wife. Nothing will ever compare to that moment, the moment where I went from plain Bella Swan to Bella Masen - the most loved woman on Earth, the wife of Edward Masen and mother of the most beautiful child on Earth - you.

Nothing at all!

I love your father so much and nothing shall ever change this fact, seeing his face at the end of that aisle with you in his arms, gosh, words cannot explain enough how content I felt. For the first time in my life I felt Almighty, like nothing could touch me, no one could harm me. It was for a few moments, a few seconds but during those long and lazy minutes I was even more powerful than God and it felt good.

He is the most imperfect, perfect man in the word, yet I love him so much.

Those girls that bullied me and I said that the man I would marry would be an ugly toad; well, I wish I could see the look on their faces when they saw your dad and that he was mine.

I am sure this is the way Alice and Jasper felt when they gazed their eyes upon each other and later on got together. It took so long for them to get together but they did it in the end, I was afraid for your uncle for a long time when he said he met a girl but she had left him. I admire your Aunty Alice's courage along with your Uncles, they knew they were meant to be together and they fought for their love, nothing could tear them apart after they declared themselves to be in a relationship.

Your aunts and uncles love you so much and you can probably guess now even though you are still just a baby, with how much they show it in their different versions of affection. It can't possibly be hard to tell with Alice constantly buying you clothing, Rosalie taking you out to the park, Jasper reading you books and Emmett throwing you up in the air and telling what sort of mischief you two will be getting up to in the future.

I am so glad Rosalie is happy now; it took a worrying amount of time for her and Emmett to get their heads together and become more than special friends.

It was the same for Alice and Jasper at first; did you know that they met when she was teaching a class at his college in Seattle? They got into such a huge fight that day over such a silly thing, yet look at them now. The love they emit for each other is something even a blind person would be able to see and goes to show that know matter how your story begins there will be a way to make it right. They are living proof that true love is out there for everyone even your first impressions of each other are bad.

There is so much love for you in this family and everyone constantly wants to hold you, meaning you are always in someone's arms even when you are sleeping.

There's something that I have to tell you my darling child, it's about the job you're father does, or maybe did by the time your reading this. I don't know.

I do know however, that you probably won't believe me but your father and our family on the Cullen side are all part of the mafia. I don't know how old you are reading this letter but you have to believe me no matter how crazy this sounds. Yes, I know that it must be hard for you take in but you have to understand, I have to make sure that you know and that you heard it from the right person.

I don't want you to grow up oblivious to your father's profession, you should know. I don't have the right to keep it from you, know one does that is the reason I am telling you. No one should be able to catch you off guard and make a fool out of you; I refuse to give anyone the chance. I know that it is scary and I know that it is scary, and as soon as I knew I was pregnant with you, I dreaded telling you this news.

What child should have to know that there father has killed before, even if it is justified? I am so sorry for putting this burden on your shoulders but if the police interrogated you and you had to sit there obliviously and listen to what crimes they believe your father has committed I would not be able to forgive myself.

I don't know if you will choose to play a part in the family business at some point in the future, but no matter what decision you make your father and I will always love you.

Always!

We will stick by you through everything no matter what choices in life you make. We have learnt in our lives that people should be allowed to make their own choices in life so they can find their own happiness by themselves so that it belongs to them and they are truly happy. This is what I want for you and what your father wants too, for you to be fulfilled and satisfied in the knowledge that you had made it that way and no one else.

You may fall down sometimes or even feel like you have come to a standstill, during your lifetime and your father and I will help you, but you should know now that you will have to help yourself to make your life your own.

Your sleeping face beside me tells me that you are destined for great things and I know that you will achieve them; I will give you the best life I possibly can. I know that you will be trained in combat and self-defence; I will make sure of it, because I don't want any chance of what happened to me to happen to you. I love you too much for that, I couldn't bear losing you. You are my life now, as soon as I knew you were coming I knew that you would become the most important thing in my world.

If you do choose to take your place as rightful heir to the title 'Protector of the Masen Mafia', I want you to know the things that come with it, the danger of it all. You will never have the same life again; you will always be shielding yourself from the government and will rarely get close to someone normal, someone outside the mafia.

You will have to build a wall around your heart in fear that anyone who gets in it will be killed and you would fall into despair. It is a serious and risky job; one wrong move could leave you dead at the drop of a hat if your enemies are merciful, and if they are not, it could mean watching those you love murdered one by one after being tortured and on the brink of death for hours.

I am not telling you this to scare you from the role but you have to know these things, its not just fun and games or gallivanting around killing people you hate or that have done bad to you.

Taking on this role would mean that you would have to watch your back for the rest of your life and every step of the way second guess your friends and family and wonder who will be the one to betray you. Then they would have to become the person you put at the end of your gun barrel, and no matter how much you love them you would have to pull the trigger. This could happen to anyone no matter who they are, whether they are your lover, best friend or child, at the first sign of betrayal you would have to kill them.

There are a few things that I don't want to tell you about the worst time of my life but I fear I have to and I want you to brace yourself, turn your heart into stone and barricade it with walls so that you don't feel my pain.

I wouldn't tell you this if I felt I had a choice, I would never risk your innocence in this way but it is the only way to guarantee part of your safety. And even if it is just a thread, a single thread of safety, I would do it in a heartbeat no matter how much pain it would cause me.

That is how much I love you.

I never want to relive this time of my life; I didn't want to remember it but every night it came back to torture me. Every night in my dreams I was forced to relive every moment of my torture and nightmare for weeks after it happened.

They said the therapy would help me and in the end it did. I forced myself through every session therapy with your grandfather Carlisle and although Edward, your father was in a few sessions, he never stayed the whole time. He could never see me break down and relive my pain, it tortured him as much as it tortured and he would end up blaming himself.

I would always have to open myself up completely and tell the story over and over and over again until I could finally bear it. I had to keep doing it for myself but most importantly for you.

I don't want you to live in a world where I, your mother, constantly jump at small sounds and break down when little things remind me of this tragic chapter of my life.

I still have the occasional nightmare of his face staring down at me in that dark putrid room with no lights or windows, where mice had fouled the flooring. Nightmares that contain his face staring down at me in pure hatred for the whole dream, but it's not so bad anymore. He is in prison now for a long time; he can't hurt me right now.

You may be wondering what I am talking about, what is this time of my life that I dread to talk about. oh, my darling, my sweet darling; I am talking about my kidnapping.

It happened just nine months ago and I am still recovering from it, and I don't think I shall ever fully recover from it but I hope I'll get close. You were still an unborn child when this happened and I am sorry I couldn't protect you, couldn't prevent it from happening, it just makes me sick to think about what could have happened to you. What if you had died, I would never have forgiven myself?

I don't know how to explain the story of how the kidnapping came to be in a way that you would understand and I can't start from the middle, for you to truly understand I have to start from the beginning. The very beginning when I met your father for the first time.

You will find out many secrets in this story but I want you to keep an open mind about it, some things just had to be the way they were for things to become the way they are today. You mustn't judge people by what you read, we have all changed mentally into the people you see, and no one has remained the same, no one. For example your father and I have changed so much since that day in the library, we didn't love each other at first but look at us now, and I couldn't bear to be away from him.

The relationship that we formed created this story and it only began about fifteen months ago in dusty old part of the library.

The truth of the matter is that not many men that go in libraries are attractive; they are all geeky nerds with computer games ruling their lives. This is what I thought I would marry into; a suitable guy that had a good reputation, squeaky clean record and good prospects for the future, I had already been preparing myself for a mundane life in Forks that would bore me to my death.

But this isn't what happened, instead fifteen months ago fate brought a man into my life that didn't have the ideal job, yet he was the one for me.

That man that fate brought into my life has given me so much happiness and joy even though he was in the mafia and I was the police chief's daughter.

He should have been with someone tall and sexy and confident and strong yet he got me, I should have with someone meek and short and a loser yet I got him. He will always have me just as I will always have him; we are meant for each other.

You know our story began in a library, but what you don't know is that… well you'll have to read to find out. Just read and listen to the words I speak. Listen to the story that created you and made me, me.

A/N

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Review please.

I hope you all enjoyed that, this is a short chapter as it the prologue not all chapters will be this long.