The winter was harsh and unforgiving this year. Rana cupped her frozen hands together and blew into them, in the hopes of warming them up. She cursed herself for not just swallowing her pride and heeding Yasmeens' advice to take gloves, or even better, a coat, as she left the house.
She tried rubbing her hands together, again, to warm them up, but to no avail. She sighed at her lack of progress in the matter and resigned herself to the fact that, in a few hours time, she would no doubt be left with icicles for hands.
Kate noticed Rana's efforts.
"Here, you're freezing," Kate started shimmying her red coat off. "Take this."
Rana had told her the coat reminded her of holly berries once, when they went for a walk in a forest. Kate had originally dragged her out of the house go to the gym together, after weeks of Rana deliberately putting it off. But, upon seeing Rana's pleading pout, she had almost immediately conceded to Rana's pleas to just go for a 'nice walk' instead.
She would never tell Rana this, but Kate had enjoyed the forty minute drive to the nearest woods. She complained, all the way, of Rana's lack of fitness ambition but from beginning to end she still had an enamoured smile on her face. Rana had told her that she didn't need to drive all this way, that they could've just gone around the local park, but Kate wasn't having any of it.
Now Kate wears the coat all the time.
The taller girl tells herself it's just down to the weather, after all no one would question her fashion choices in winter—as long as she had some sort of decent attire to combat the chill. She knows it's really because of even the slightest acknowledgement of her clothing decisions from Rana. Every time she sees it, it reminds her of the wonderfully impromptu day out that they had had.
Rana thought red suited her.
Kate was slightly better equipped for the bitter cold, with her long coat and jet black scarf, but Rana couldn't detect a hint of smugness about this fact.
"Kate! What do you think you're doing?" Rana was incredulous. "I'm fine, truly. We're not far now." She protested, all raised voice and pointed eyebrows, "I don't want you catching your death!"
Kate had had a sneaking suspicion that Rana would disagree to her suggestion, but adhered to her wishes nonetheless.
"You can't just walk all the way back like this," Kate countered, proceeding to make a show of looking her up and down, her eyes comedically widening in overdramatized worry as both girls laugh.
"Well, if I can't make you wear it," Kate lifted an arm and opened up a side of her coat, "then we'll just have to share." She motioned for Rana to cuddle up to her.
Rana laughed, looking unconvinced. "No, no, honestly Kate it's fine."
Kate rolled her eyes in a playful manner, her mock annoyance giving way to an amused smile.
"Seriously, there's room for two, come here." Kate said, continuing to beckon.
Rana finally conceded, gladly compliant now she was sure Kate wasn't just being polite.
She declined to comment on the wandering of Kate's eyes, persistent even after the atmosphere from her previous stunt was gone. The thought of Kate trying to be secretive with her glances made Rana have to consciously fight off a full blown grin, so as not to draw suspicion from the taller brunette.
She needn't have worried. Unbeknownst to Rana, out of the corner of her eye, Kate saw the result of Rana's efforts—her half smile—and was now content in her knowledge that Rana was happy.
Rana leaned into Kate, snaking an arm around her waist, breathing in her comforting, sweet scent of vanilla and sandalwood. Even though they were walking, they weren't going fast, and their height difference made it so Rana could easily, and comfortably, nestle her head into the space between Kate's shoulder and neck. So she did, already feeling the cold leaving her veins.
Kate tried not to breath so as not to disturb her, but instead her breath momentarily and involuntarily hitched.
Rana looked up to try and decipher what had caused the small movement and when she did, she found Kate's chestnut eyes were clouded over in deep thought, looking like she was a million miles away. Rana couldn't fathom a reason why. Not for lack of trying.
Rana nudged her and Kate seemed to regain her composure, her bright eyes now crystal clear, reminding Rana of the autumn that had soon come and gone—replaced with a bleak, unyielding winter.
They walked in silence for a short while, until one of Rana's heels caught in a rut between the cobblestones. She stumbled, caught off guard, letting out a distressed almost-shout, but Kate was there to steady her, straight away holding Rana's arms and gently guiding her back up.
"You okay? No broken bones I hope, don't think there's any doctors or…" Kate said, making a point of carefully surveying the surrounding area. "Nurses around to help."
Rana laughed shakily and looked down, her cheeks flaming red. She would normally fire back a quick witted retort, but she was feeling sheepish and somewhat self conscious at her blunder, and rather impractical choice of footwear. It was an unusual feeling for her.
Kate swallowed a giggle, knowing it would just make the girl more embarrassed. Instead she gave Rana, what she hoped was, a comforting smile.
Rana tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, feeling bashful under Kate's steady tender gaze. She looked down and smiled at the ground, not letting herself spare a glance at Kate's sparkling eyes, for fear she might drown.
Rana didn't think anyone had ever looked at her like that.
She could feel some sort of electricity, the air almost abuzz with an atmosphere that she couldn't quite comprehend, surrounding them. She was taken aback by how suddenly she was entirely aware of the steady drumbeat of her heart, pounding in her ribcage, willing Rana to do something, anything to let it out, to be unshackled from its chains.
She looked up and Kate was still looking at her, somewhere in between concerned and adoring. She was still gently holding her, every now and then running her hands up and down her upper arms soothingly.
However, Rana's hands were still as cold as ice. She looked down, searching around for Kate's pockets and quickly snuck them in there.
Kate felt a rising need to quell the atmosphere surrounding them, and the feelings that were rising in her stomach. She instantly thought of a remark that would, possibly, extinguish whatever was going on. The phrase bubbled up in her head until it was was the equivalent of the screech of a boiling kettle on a stove.
So, Kate raised a sculpted eyebrow and plastered on what she hoped was a more aloof look to expel her previous vulnerability. "Nothing's off limits with you, eh?" She playfully jibed.
The moment was gone.
Maybe that was why Rana instantly snapped out of her trance like state, her rational thoughts now hitting her like a ton of bricks.
She quickly withdrew her hands from the red pockets and moved away from Kate, stung.
Kate, who should have been feeling victorious at the success of her plan, instantly regretted her words as soon as she saw the crestfallen girl.
"What's that supposed to mean, then?" Rana demanded.
"I, er, don't know I just..." Kate fumbled her words. She didn't really have a concise answer to Rana's question.
Realization stormed across Rana's features and Kate knew she had just stepped right in it, for want of a better term. She was anxious to find out what Rana had concluded as to what her previous statement meant. Kate didn't understand what she had meant herself.
"Just 'cause I want to have sex with my boyfriend, is it?"
Kate felt stricken. She wasn't sure how she could ever explain how or why she had said it, let alone remedy the situation.
"No, course not, Rana, look I-"
"Has Zee told you something? Is that what you meant? I'm not much of a practicing Muslim, Kate." Rana aggressed, her tone tinged with anger, but mostly hurt. 'You of all people should know that." She added, with a bitter laugh.
"What is it exactly that I've supposed to have meant?" Kate retorted.
The cogs inside Kate's head were working furiously, but not in favour of her, it seemed. Kate berated herself, wondering why she would take on this indignant tone when she should be apologizing.
Of course, she couldn't very well deny the meaning laced behind her words, Rana knew her better than that and would see right through it. But, on the other hand, she couldn't very well tell her the truth.
"Supposed to have meant? What, you think I'm overreacting?" Rana said pointedly, mimicking what she thought was going on inside Kate's head. Rana knew that virtually everyone in Weatherfield, wrongly or rightly, thought she exaggerated everything and was too high maintenance for anyone to handle. Even Zeedan—actually, especially Zeedan.
Then there was Alya, always slightly too keen to tell everyone and their mothers about Rana's university escapades, simultaneously managing to leave out her own. She knew that behind all of her jokes and quips, she still had some lingering doubts about Rana's morals when it came to love. This made Rana continuously question herself, her actions, and her words when it came to Zeedan, so as not to fracture any part of their sometimes fragile relationship.
She knew he didn't trust her fully, despite Rana's reassurances. Maybe he never would. Perhaps her past really was too much for him to handle.
Kate stayed quiet and Rana finally gave in, with an aggrieved sigh. "Everything about Zee! You know, sex and everything!"
"Rana, honestly," Kate exhaled, "I couldn't give two figs about you and Zee's sex life… I just," She paused and forced her gaze up to Rana's burning, intense brown eyes and giving her a quick, timid half smile, "wanted to make you laugh, is all." Guilt crept that into her tone, her keenly felt the remorse emphasised by the fact that she knew her previous comment would probably get to Rana, before she said it.
Kate resorted to attempt to explain her motives and reasons behind her odd choice of phrasing. "I know how down you've been feeling because of the situation with Zee—I just thought, by making light of it, it might make you feel less bothered by it..." She murmured, shrugging as her voice trailed off.
Rana stayed quiet, mulling over Kate's words. Kate couldn't decipher what she was thinking.
Kate spotted a wooden bench a few metres away. She swallowed. "Fancy sitting down?" She softly asked, signalling to the bench.
She extended a hand. Rana eyed Kate's hand, and for a moment Kate thought she was just going to turn around and walk away. But she didn't. Instead, she reached for it, taking it with a nod and tentative smile. The physical contact, however insignificant to some, was greatly affirming for Kate, meaning that this small bump in their friendship was nothing more that just that—a small bump that would be all but forgotten about soon. She was glad. She wasn't sure what she'd do without the feisty brunette by her side.
They sat down and Rana sighed. Both girls turned to each other, hands in the space between them, Rana's slender fingers lightly resting atop of Kate's.
"I'm sorry, it's just... I guess I'm not really used to all this." Rana stated, rather subdued.
Alarm bells were ringing in Kate's head yet, again. Kate didn't wholly know what Rana was referring to, but if it was anything to do with the subject she thought it could be, then she didn't want to be having this conversation at all—not yet, and certainly not in the middle of the street. So she decided to test Rana once again, trying to subtly change the subject and get their usual dynamic back into play.
"Why, because you get your own way all the time?" Kate jested, a cheeky grin masking her inner turmoil. Rana's eyebrows furrowed and a hurt look, once again, flashed across her features.
Noticing the downtrodden look on Rana's face, Kate wished she hadn't said anything and just bitten her tongue for once.
"You really can't resist it, can you?" Rana countered, critically, with a slight shake of her head. She withdrew her hand and placed it in her lap, clasping her hands together. She sighed, making a move to get up, but Kate stopped her, letting out a small, "Wait."
Rana shut her eyes for a second and exhaled. She sat back down and turned to look into Kate's unsure eyes.
"God, I'm really making a hash of this aren't I?" Kate let out a long breath, "Meant to be cheering you up. I'm sorry." She reached for Rana's hand once more and squeezed her it gently, hoping to add sincerity to the statement.
Rana sighed but didn't change their position."It's okay. You're right, I gue-"
"No," Kate interrupted, "I'm not. Far from it, in fact. You know..." She paused for a moment, lost in thought. "You're selfless, always putting other peoples' needs in front of your own. You help everyone and anyone without a second thought." Rana looked down at her lap, a small smile playing at her lips, bashful once more. Kate beamed at her and continued, "Remember when I was being a stubborn so and so, about to go and tell Aidan of my dad's diagnosis, and you had to be the little hero and save me wrecking everything. Honestly Rana..." Kate caressed her hand with her thumb, "I don't know what I'd do without you, and I don't ever want to find out."