Colours and Shapes
A/N: Anything you recognise from the world of Harry Potter remains the property of J. K. Rowling et al.
This fic was written for Nymphie (nymphxdora) from the Diagon Alley II forum for both her well-deserved win in our event and for being an amazing friend :) The Escapades of Teddy Lupin is a good read so if you love Remadora or whatever their name is, go look at what their son gets up to.
A huge thank you also goes to the amazingly talented Twi (TwilightMoonbeams) for beta-ing and for coming up with the amazing idea of Tonks morphing into a wolf- go check out her stories New Parchment and Picking up the Pieces.
Without further ado, I present to you my take on Remus and Tonks' early relationship- some parts of which you may recognise from my Ted/ Andy fic 'If this is so wrong, why does it feel so right?'- I'm curious as to who picks it up. I struggled a little in keeping with the characters in their canon forms, as well as my use of tense, so bear with me :)
"I really wish you would use a coaster under your mug, Nymphadora," Andromeda lightly chastised her daughter, clicking her tongue in disapproval. With a scowl, she levitated her daughter's cup of tea off the table and cleaned away the ring of brown liquid underneath it.
"Mum! I told you, I don't like when you call me that," she groaned in frustration.
"I don't see why, it's a perfectly lovely name for a young lady," her mother sighed as she looked at her striking violet hair in disapproval.
"Yeah, an old lady would say that," Tonks mumbled under her breath, sneaking a peak upwards at Andromeda to make sure she hadn't heard her cheek.
Ordinarily Tonks got along well with her mother; where the two women would often sit down to discuss her work and what was happening in the wizarding world. She knew that both of her parents were proud of her for having graduated her Auror training the year before, but she just wished that they, or rather, her mother, would be more accepting of her fashion choices, including her coloured hair and nickname.
"Come now, Dora, you know your mother is right," Ted walked into the room, smiling widely.
He kissed the top of her head affectionately as he sat down in his favourite chair by the window. She watched as he began unfolding the evening edition of The Daily Prophet only to toss it aside at the headline discrediting Dumbledore.
"Hiya dad," she grinned at her father- at least he was often on her side and didn't mind her unusual tastes.
"So, are you excited for tonight's mission? Your mother said that you were looking forward to this particular one," his eyes surveyed her knowingly as his smile grew.
"Mum! You told him? How could you!" she felt her cheeks grow red in embarrassment as her hair changed into a shocking pink.
"Well dear, your father has a right to know when his little girl is all grown up and ready to experience the world-"
"I'm never discussing anything with you again!"
"C'mon dear, sit back down and finish your tea. You can't expect me to not tell your father when all you've done all day is sit around sighing. Now, let's see if we can both guess who it is," her mother sat down, tapping a slender finger to her full lips.
She sat back and crossed her arms huffily, glaring in disbelief at her mother. How could she tell her father? It was supposed to be a secret between them!
"Oh, I know! I bet it's Kingsley Shacklebolt, I've seen that man and blimey, he is quite the catch! That deep voice of his and an Auror, he'd be perfect for you!"
"Should I be worried my dear?" Ted interrupted his wife, still smiling, as she kissed him on the lips.
"Of course not, you're all the man I need."
She was sure her hair had now changed a murky yellow and green colour, for the sight of her parents kissing was making her ill. It was bad enough that they had thought it perfectly acceptable to discuss her love life in front of her, why did they need to so publicly display their own?
Fortunately, the pair soon stopped sharing their loving glances and compliments. Unfortunately, it meant that they quickly refocused on the conversation at hand.
"No, no, I bet he's not the one she wants to impress tonight. Mmm, I heard the eldest Weasley boy is back visiting his family; it's not him is it? Such a fine, respectable boy, raised well," her mother sighed happily, obviously counting in her mind the number of future grandchildren she could have.
"What about that Podmore fellow? He's not that old is he? I remember when you were in Hogwarts you had a thing for blondes at one stage, Dora."
"No, no and no! Now if you would kindly stop trying to guess, I might be able to pretend that my parents are somewhat normal," she groaned, still trying to get her parents' love-fest out of her head.
Her mother shot her a playful frown before her eyes suddenly grew concerned.
"It's not, it's not Sirius is it dear?" she asked worriedly, looking her in the eyes.
"Mother! He's my second cousin! Of course not," she gasped indignantly.
"Oh, well, just checking."
"As if I would- no, just no. I'm a Tonks, not one of those Blacks," she huffed, still red in the face.
"Yes, I know dear," her mother shifted comfortably, clearing her pure-blooded relatives from her mind.
She shuddered as she too, was thinking about her mother's side of the family. Sirius had shown her the tapestry hanging in Grimmauld Place, pointing out where he and her mother had been blasted off the family tree. Somehow, she didn't mind at all that she was not on it herself, glad that Toujours Pur held no relevance for her.
"Well, whoever it is, you'd better go meet the group. It's already half past seven- language young lady!"
She scowled as her mother heard the curse she yelled. She swore again, under her breath this time, as she downed the last of her tea. Of course she would be late, today of all days. Jumping up and cringing as she knocked over her chair, she quickly kissed her parents good bye and rushed out through the living room door into the courtyard.
She tried to concentrate on where she ought to be and turned on her heels. As her mother's garden spun out of view, she could hear a prim voice yelling quickly for her to be careful, to change her hair into a more respectable shade, and for Merlin's sake, not to do any impressions.
"Oof!" Tonks felt herself land heavily onto something quite solid.
Her mind was spinning as she tried to get over the nauseating feeling she often had when apparating - she was glad that they would use brooms on the way back. Someone grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet, preventing her from careening into a dustbin nearby. She quickly brushed the dirt from her robes, gasping as she realised what, or rather who, she had apparated onto.
"Oh no, I'm so sorry Dedalus!" she chewed her knuckle, embarrassed that she had trampled the poor little wizard.
"It's fine my dear, it's fine," he squeaked, as Hestia Jones pulled him up.
Tonks continued to flush, her hair once again taking on a pink tinge as the violet quickly disappeared.
She busied herself looking around the dark street as the members of her team discussed what had happened to the Potter boy earlier that day. Peering across the dark street, she saw a window covered by a lacey curtain. A light flickered from a large metal box and she could hear the building's occupants laughing occasionally.
She was so preoccupied watching the curiosity, trying to remember what her dad had called the machine showing moving pictures, that she didn't hear the approaching footsteps. She jumped slightly as a soft voice spoke, silently berating herself for losing focus on a mission.
"Curious, isn't it? How they can sit so peacefully without an inkling of the war that's to come," Remus said gravely as he stared at the muggles in thought.
She nodded, realising with a pang that he was right. She believed Dumbledore when he said He Who Must Not Be Named had returned. Part of her had hoped that the boy, Harry, had been confused about what had happened in the graveyard a few months ago, for she didn't want to think of how her family would be affected if he were right. It was well known that her mother was considered a blood traitor and her father a 'mudblood' by many pureblood families. She shuddered at the knowledge that they would be a clear target for many of the Death Eaters Harry had named. At least her cracked aunt Bellatrix and her husband Rodolphus were rotting away in Azkaban and couldn't come after them- or so she hoped. The dementors seemed to be a little irrepressible as of late judging by what had happened to Harry.
Remus smiled gently at her before changing the conversation, "Ready to get Harry?"
"Oh, um, yeah, absolutely," she stammered, feeling her heart flutter a little at his smile. She quickly recovered, however, and returned to her normal, confident self, "I wonder if Dumbledore can get him off his expulsion, I mean, the Ministry's gone bonkers to try the boy in the first place."
"I'm sure Albus has already formed a plan," he replied encouragingly.
"Will you all stop yapping back there? We're on a mission!" Moody snapped at the group, immediately silencing all discussion doing so. She watched as his glass eye swivelled over their hushed forms before concentrating on the silent street. "Alright, the muggles have left. Let's go," he barked, limping off towards the house at number 4.
Remus turned to her and smiled again, "Bravo on coming up with the idea for inviting them to an 'All-England Best Kept Suburban Lawn Competition', it seems to have done the trick. Well, we best be off."
She nodded, her heart still fluttering. She allowed him to go ahead of her as she tried to clear her mind. She was thrilled that he had thought her idea was a good one. She wanted to prove to him that she was capable of the mission on hand and promised herself to be extra careful that night to not make a fool of herself.
She quickly jogged to catch up with the group, tripping over a clump of grass on the way. "Dammit."
Unfortunately, her trip across the lawn was not the only mishap that occurred that evening, despite her best efforts to be a little more graceful.
Among knocking over a few other things, including the framed portraits that were hung carefully on the Dursley's hall wall, she had managed within five minutes of stepping over the threshold to send a vase full of hydrangeas flying at an unsuspecting Emmaline. Her hair had turned a brighter pink as she apologised profusely, only to smash half a dozen glasses in the kitchen barely twenty minutes afterward. Her little accidents continued well into the night, as she barely avoided knocking both Remus and Kingsley off of their brooms, not realising that her hands were frozen to her broomstick from flying through quite a few clouds. Her serious Auror mode had thankfully kicked in during the Order meeting as she concentrated on the latest plans, but the relief had only lasted an hour.
She was presently trying to fix her latest error, apologising again and again as she dragged the ugly troll's leg umbrella across the hallway. She had accidentally knocked the ruddy thing whilst locking up the front door as the meeting closed. If only she hadn't been too busy concentrating on Remus and the way his lips moved as he too performed protective jinxes that she wasn't watching where she was going. It wasn't so much that she had knocked something over, rather the fact that the clamour had awoken her great aunt's portrait- Molly had had to stun all the other portraits to keep them quiet whilst Remus and Sirius currently struggled to stop Walburga's high-pitched shrieking.
It was a good thing she had changed her hair to pink whilst back in Harry's room; for she was sure it would have given away the feeling of humiliation that now overwhelmed her. She decided it was best that she got out of the boys' way and headed into the kitchen.
The younger occupants of the house came in the room not long after her, taking various seats along the wooden table. She saw that Bill was still looking at some of the Hall of Mystery building plans and went to help him clear away the scrolls of parchment before young prying eyes could see them.
Unfortunately, Remus chose that very moment to enter the room, causing her to stumble. Her hand flew out as she tried to catch herself, hitting a candle perched on the table. She watched in horror as the scene seemed to unfold in slow motion- the candle rolled over, spilling hot wax over the table and documents as numerous people gasped.
She didn't even dare look in Remus' direction as she took out her wand, preparing to use scourgify to fix the situation. Bill quickly assured her that everything was alright, quickly vanishing the documents away to a safer location. She sat down, wondering how she could make it all better as she drummed her fingers on the table.
It wasn't until a few minutes later that Remus piped up, offering to help Molly and Ginny set the table. Thinking it would surely impress him to see that she could do something right, she jumped off her chair and headed for the cutlery draw- not noticing as yet another chair went toppling over.
Molly protested that she didn't really need her help, but she grabbed a handful of forks regardless. Sticking out her tongue in concentration, she made sure to carefully place each polished silver item delicately on the table. As soon as she managed that without complication, she ran to Molly to help cut some carrots, ignoring the way the elder woman stood over her, supervising.
As luck would have it, however, she soon found herself in yet another awkward situation. She had been paying attention to the way she neatly sliced some potatoes, opting to avoid the use of her wand, when she heard a chair scrape behind her. She couldn't help but look back to see what was going on when she saw that Remus had moved closer to where Arthur sat to murmur something in his ear. She was too curious about what they were talking about that she accidentally scraped her finger, throwing the knife to the ground.
She had to wait as Molly cast a quick healing charm, summoning the twins, Fred and George, to finish up and place the other knives on the table. Both boys had a better idea, however, as they withdrew their wands and sent the sharp objects flying across the room, almost killing Harry and Ron in the process. Tonks slunk back to the table whilst Molly screamed at the twins.
She felt that it was all her fault that more chaos had ensued that night. If only she had continued to concentrate on her task, Molly wouldn't have needed to call the boys to help; if only she hadn't been so focused on Remus, she wouldn't have sliced her finger. She had been trying extra hard to show that she was responsible, yet she couldn't even manage a simple task.
Tonks spent the majority of dinner moping about at the table, slightly jealous of how easily everyone else seemed to exude grace. She had tried in vain to hide the jade green colour her hair had turned from these thoughts, assuming that her eyes were now a similar shade. Remus hadn't looked at her again, and she feared that her clumsiness had driven any good impression she had given him from his mind. She was thankful that at least the other Order members were used to her antics and didn't think any less of her.
Ginny and Hermione had chosen to sit next to her and were currently discussing Ginny's new boyfriend, Dean. She sighed wearily as the young red-head giggled about the way Dean had invited her to a muggle soccer match that summer, wondering what it would be like to go on a date. She wouldn't have minded going to a Quidditch match herself, and knew exactly who she would ask along.
Hermione must have sensed her uncharacteristic silence, for the girl turned to her. "Tonks, could you possibly show me another of your metamorphagus impersonations? It's so interesting how you are able to do it," she smiled hopefully with her request.
She immediately felt better, knowing that it was one of the things she could actually do right. Both girls seemed to love her tricks, and she couldn't bear to deny them a little entertainment. Besides, she had been a little off today, allowing her emotions to control her changes.
She cleared her throat before squeezing her eyes closed. Feeling her nose give a familiar little tingle as she concentrated on its current straight shape, she reopened her eyes. Her audience clapped as they admired her now button-shaped nose and long, blonde hair. Without waiting for the girls to get bored, she quickly cast her eyes around the room before landing on Harry. Grinning cheekily, she snapped them shut and concentrated once again on her nose. This time, as she reopened her now dark eyes, she was met with raucous laughter as she impersonated Severus. It felt a little unnatural to have such a large, hooked nose on her tiny face, but she nevertheless continued sneering down at the giggling girls.
"Ooh, do the pig one!" Ginny eagerly requested and she obeyed.
"Now do the duck one, if it's not too much trouble," Hermione laughed.
Crossing her eyes towards her nose, she pouted her lips and made a kissing motion. Within a few seconds her lips had transformed into the beak of a duck, and the girls, along with Harry and Ron, applauded.
"Now do another animal!"
Without needing to think, she closed her eyes and immediately felt a little shiver as her nose twitched violently, impersonating her jack-rabbit patronus.
"Another! Another!"
She found herself laughing as she thought of her favourite animal, concentrating a little harder as she watched Remus continue to talk in hushed whispers to the two older Weasley males about goblin affairs. Her nose began to feel cold and wet as her face heated up, forming a thick fur layer. She opened her now silver eyes and gave a wolfish grin, literally, as the youngsters cheered. She let out a small howl before returning her features to a sea-green mop of hair and blue eyes.
Molly levitated a few bowls in front of each table place, scowling at Mundungus as he attempted to light another cigarette. She had barely picked up her spoon when a chair scraped from further up the table. Glancing up, she saw Remus stride quickly from the room and enter the hallway.
Blasting herself for being so stupid, she allowed her spoon to clank to the plate and quickly rushed out after him.
This time she remembered to watch out for the hideous umbrella stand, and tiptoed quietly down the hall. She had spotted a man's shadow disappear around the corner and swiftly made her way towards it, remembering at the last minute to dodge a part of the carpet that bulged upwards.
Creaking open the door, she saw a lone figure standing by the large window. Moonlight cast a pool of light around him as he stared out at the night sky.
She crept forward silently, trying to see what Remus was looking at. The dark trees outside were illuminated by the large yellow moon, not quite at its fullest, as wispy grey clouds skittered across. She turned to see his face, noticing that the faint scars etched onto his face were more apparent in the pale lighting.
She cleared her throat to apologise, not quite knowing what to say, "Remus, I-"
He sighed and turned to face her, a grim smile on his face.
"I, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"Whatever are you apologising for, my dear? There's no need to worry," he gently interrupted.
"It was stupid of me to do that… I didn't think, I mean I-"
"It's quite alright. You didn't mean any harm- I just reminded myself that I am no more than a beast," she made to protest, but he continued as he continued looking at her, "no, it is true. But after years of ridicule, I have grown accustomed to who- what, I am."
She felt herself blush deeply, not knowing how to comfort him. "Remus, I don't think you are that way at all."
He surveyed her for a moment longer, his smile softening, "I know."
She felt awkward as silence fell upon them and Remus moved to sit on a nearby lounge. She hesitantly joined him, not sure what else to say.
The sound of an owl hooting could be heard outside, slicing through the heavy tension in the room.
Her mind drifted to thoughts of the werewolf, Fenrir Greyback, who had caused Remus so much pain. She wondered what she would do to the feral man if she ever came into contact with him.
Many a day since discovering the monster's deeds, she had thought about the satisfaction she would feel if she could cause him just as much grief. As an Auror, she had been warned that a day would come in her career when she would be ordered to kill a wizard or witch- at first, she hadn't been comfortable with the notion of ending a life, yet now, if she had to perform such a task, she would gladly destroy Greyback.
Sensing Remus still beside her, she thought about how tired he looked and the scars he bore. She couldn't imagine the pain he would have suffered throughout life, especially when it came to people's prejudice. She had read that transformations could be excruciating, yet knew from experience that the emotional pain from a peer's rejection could be worse. She didn't think many of his fellow students or their parents would have been too accepting if they had discovered a werewolf was among their ranks. Heck, even though it did not even come close to what he probably went through, she knew personally that students could be horrible little bigots- she had spent a good part of a term in her first year at Hogwarts with other students avoiding her, simply because she had not learnt to control her metamorphic powers and had, once or twice, created a very ugly and embarrassing appearance.
"I fear the worst part of it all will be the many children who will share the same fate if the Ministry does not wake up to themselves soon," Remus broke into her thoughts, sighing wearily.
She immediately began berating herself for having been so selfish earlier that night. She had been so worried about her clumsiness and embarrassing herself that she had forgotten that others in the world would soon suffer.
"I wish they would just accept that he's back. Maybe, maybe if Harry can convince them, they can spend more time working together to create better defence. And then they can concentrate on finding a cure or…something," she didn't need to see his sympathetic smile to realise how lame that sounded. Even if the Ministry did realise that He Who Must Not Be Named was back, it would be a long fight before the werewolf community was welcomed into civilisation with open arms.
"I'm afraid my parents tried everything they could to no avail," he smiled sadly at her again, "still, we mustn't give up hope."
Seeing how much Remus cared about the wellbeing of others, she made a new promise to herself- she would continue to try and focus as much as she could on everything she did. This time, however, it would not be to impress her crush, but to ensure that no one else suffered the same fate.
Silence once again filled the room as they thought of the coming war. At one stage, she busied herself looking around the room, her eyes coming to rest on an oak cabinet. Inside were trinkets of various sorts, guarded by a dusty glass. She could see her reflection peering back at her- a curled mess of blue locks sitting atop her head.
She realised with a start that that particular shade of pale blue only ever appeared when she was depressed and, judging by the ominous thoughts she had had, could see why. Remus too, seemed worse for wear; as she peered at him, she realised that if he could transform his greying hair, it would surely be reminiscent of her own at that moment.
She didn't like the way it made her feel so heavy and she tried to think of a way to quickly bring them out of the solemn mess she had created. Casting her eyes to a portrait of Walburga and Orion sitting within the cabinet, an idea began to form in her head.
She drew a deep breath and closed her eyes in concentration, her mind affixed to the image. When she was confident everything was just right, she opened her eyes and turned towards Remus.
"Scum! Filth! Straighten your tie young man and tuck that shirt into your trousers- I will not allow such disrespect for proper attire to occur in my house!"
She laughed as Remus jumped up, startled. His eyes betrayed his shock as he squinted at her. "Nymph-"
"Don't talk back to me, young man! Sit up straight! This is the Noble House of Black- how dare you come here!"
She feared for a moment that perhaps she had insulted his somewhat shabby appearance as he continued to stare at her in confusion. Fortunately, his mouth soon twisted upwards into a dazzling smile as a twinkle appeared in his eye.
"Why Walburga! How lovely to see that you are no longer stuck to a wall," he laughed.
"Filth! Disgusting! How dare you address me in such a way?" she tried not to laugh herself as she imitated the irritating woman.
The door creaked open behind her and soon a shrivelling old voice croaked, "Mistress?"
She winked at Remus as she scrunched up her face, feeling a familiar shiver as her features transformed again. Looking to her companion, she waited for him to hold his thumb up, signalling that the house-elf was approaching.
Quickly, she spun around and looked at Kreacher, a wicked grin on her face. She tried to hide her amusement as the elf jumped; dropping a small box he had taken from the pile of objects Sirius had thrown out that week. His round orbs of eyes protruded from his head as he took in the image of himself.
Recovering quickly, the creature bent down and hastily retrieved the stolen trinket, uttering obscenities under his breath, "filthy blood-traitor, if Mistress were here…"
She felt a little bad at having got the elf's hopes up, but thought better of it seeing the genuine amusement on Remus' face at her antics. She gave a mock bow before deciding on the next image.
Carefully, she watched for Remus' reaction as she took the newest form. Her nose felt wet once more, and her skin itched from the light grey fur that had formed in bristles around her features.
For a moment, he didn't move- until he let out a deep sigh. He didn't appear angry at her choice; rather, he seemed dejected. She held the shape as she morphed her mouth to its original form.
"Remus-"
"You chose a wolf."
"Yes- it's my favourite animal."
"It's a beast."
"Are you saying I look ugly?" she tried to get him to crack another smile, but failed. Her mind whirred as she thought of a better way to explain to him, "Remus, a wolf is not a beast."
"They destroy lives- especially when a human is a part of it."
"You're not seeing the bigger picture…. I like wolves. They may be fearsome, but they have a goodness inside them," when he ignored this, she change her mouth back into one of a wolf.
She moved closer to him on the lounge, whining. He rolled his eyes, moving backwards. She continued to approach him, nudging his face and brushing her fur against his shoulder, before he finally looked at her. She could see his mouth unwillingly twitch upwards, and so continued. As he pushed himself closer to the edge of the lounge, she followed and, without allowing herself to think of the consequences, licked the side of his face with a rough tongue.
She smiled in satisfaction as he turned to her, shocked, before he promptly started to laugh. She quickly turned back into her regular appearance and joined him, tears welling in the brim of her eyes. Remus finally settled himself, tapping his knee to control his breathing.
"Alright, alright, a wolf can be cute. Nymphadora, you do have a way with words," he smiled fondly at her as she huffed in indignation.
"It's Tonks."
"Ah well, maybe things will be brighter in the future," he sighed again, retreating back into his thoughts.
Yet another moment of silence fell as she wondered whether she had actually just managed to embarrass herself again. At least he had seemed a little happier, she sighed heavily.
"Care to do another Walburga?" Remus broke in, looking out the corner of his eye at her.
She laughed, allowing herself to become her great aunt again. Perhaps it hadn't been that bad after all.
As she imitated the woman in her best shrieking voice, the pair was soon interrupted by another visitor. This time, however, it was a more welcome guest, informing them that they had better get downstairs before Molly killed Mundungus, remarking that the man had tried to sell the twins a candelabra from the downstairs' dining room.
Grudgingly, they followed Sirius through the hall as he grumbled on about the need for Harry to know about the meetings. As Remus entered the room, Sirius paused and looked at her.
"Please, I beg you, never do that again."
She poked her tongue out at him and continued into the room.
She wasn't sure whether or not he was simply referring to imitating his mother, or if he had a deeper meaning to his words. Nevertheless, she felt better at having at least done one thing right tonight.