Every Man for Himself


Summary: Trafalgar Law didn't visit his guardians' mansion very often. But when he did, well…

Warning: AU, ooc, mild swearing, and silliness. Shut up, that's a warning too! And this is a family!Doffy. Meaning he's not a complete ass like he kinda is in the manga. (He shot Law with LEAD bullets. Seriously, what the HELL, Doffy?!) Plus, his hair is like it was in Law's flashback. 'Cause his hair is AWESOME like that.

Disclaimer: Why do I even put this here? Why? It's starting to make me question my own life…! (O.O;;)


Trafalgar Law, single male of twenty-six and the head heart surgeon at New World hospital, stepped out the cab he'd been stuck in for the last thirty minutes to gaze upon the familiar building before him. The cabbie – by the gods, Law wanted to strangle the male within the first five minutes of meeting him – was still prattling on about how much meat he ate at his brother's house before the building combusted into flames, and the surgeon wanted nothing more than to sew the teen's mouth shut. So to get rid of the cabbie as fast as possible, Law reached into his pocket and threw two bills at him. It worked in shutting the male up…for a few moments.

"Uh, sir?" Law ignored him as he pulled out his large duffle bag from the back seat of the cab and proceeded to slam the back door shut. "Mr. Torao? You gave me a hundred dollars too much–"

"Go buy some meat with it or something," the surgeon waved him off uncaringly as he headed for the mansion's front door. The cabbie gave a loud whoop before exiting the cab and launching himself at Law. The older man gave a dark curse at the sudden and unwanted contact, barely catching himself before he could stumble ungracefully to the ground.

"Torao! You're the best! You know that? The absolute best!" Was…was the cabbie crying? Whatever, Law didn't care. He just wanted this teen to be gone from his life already. He pried at the teen's arms that were wrapped around his waist in a death-like grip, giving more dark curses when the teen's arms absolutely refused to move. Did he have to use a crowbar or something to get this stranger off him? Luckily, such extreme measures were not needed, and the teen let go after a few 'touching' moments. "Th-Thank you, Torao! I'll always remember you as the awesome–"

"Don't care, go away," was all Law could growl out before he turned his back on the cabbie and proceeded to jog up the few stairs to the mansion's front door. He heard the cab finally pull away before he let out a long sigh of relief. He made a mental note to never take a cab again when traveling a long distance.

As he entered, the familiar checkerboard floor came into his view, as did the red carpet that was rolled down from the two sets of curved stairs on the other side of the room. The room was huge – as the owner of it had spared no expense when the mansion was being built – and he noticed that the walls were still bare. Of course. From the left curved staircase a tall blond began to descend into view. Odd tinted sunglasses and a wicked smile adorned the man's face, and on his back was the pink feathered coat he never went anywhere without. "Lawsy, I see you finally decided to pay me a visit. Did you miss me?"

"Hardly," Law snorted, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "And don't call me that."

"Fufufu, as cold as always I see," Doflamingo mused, amusement ringing in his voice. "Just what I'd expect from my–"

The blond was suddenly interrupted by another familiar voice. "Laaaaaaw!" From the right curved staircase another man began to descend into view. Though about halfway down, he tripped over nothing and tumbled down the rest of the stairs; landing eagle-spread on the floor between the two staircases. Law and Doflamingo simply stared at the scene, having gotten used to it over the years.

The man remained motionless but for a moment before quickly sat up. Shaggy blond hair rested in front of his eyes, and a happy smile was plastered on his face. The man practically glowed with happiness. Throwing himself onto his feet, the clumsy person ran towards Law with what could have been deemed as an unsafe speed. Luckily he slid to a near stop before he reached the surgeon, and Law suddenly found himself being lifted off the ground in one of the most tightest embraces he'd ever been in. "I missed you so much!"

"C-C…Cora…san… Can't…Br-Breath…!" Rocinante merely laughed, not completely realizing that Law wasn't joking in the slightest. He put the surgeon down, who instantly took in a gulp of oxygen, and gave an even wider smile.

"I hope your flight went well?" Law gave a simple nod, still catching his breath. Rocinante had to resist the urge to pull Law into another hug. "I haven't seen you in forever! You should visit more often! Or, actually, we should probably visit you more often, seeing as you are the best surgeon at New World hospital."

"Now that we've managed to settle a little dispute we had earlier this year in our business, we actually can visit him more often," Doflamingo said, now beside Law and his brother. He threw the surgeon a mischievous smile. "I hope you're ready to have Roci surprise visiting you every other week."

"I can't wait," Law said with no enthusiasm whatsoever. As much as he loved his guardian, having him pop up on his doorstep unexpectedly every other week would be…hassling.

"Don't worry, I won't do that," Rocinante waved his brother's comment aside. Law took the moment to look over the clumsy male. He wore a black and white striped sweater that wasn't too thick seeing as it was the middle of Spring. He also noticed the edge of a bandage sticking out from the edge of the shirt's collar. He frowned, reaching up and pulling the clothing slightly to the side. His frown deepened when he noticed that the bandage covered the blond's entire shoulder and disappeared down into the sleeve.

"What happened?" Neither blond missed the worry in Law's voice, and the concern made Roci give a soft smile.

"It's nothing. I injured my shoulder and bicep a week ago in an accident. They bandaged my whole arm, which I think was a little extreme. I mean, it's only a four-inch gash and a few minor burns." Gray gold-flecked eyes narrowed at the sentence, but before Law could fully enter Doctor Mode, Doflamingo interrupted by making a wide gesture with his arms.

"Enough of this simple chatter," the blond started. "I think it's time we started the festivities." A viscous grin overtook his features. "It's no secret I'll be the winner today."

Law's frown quickly disappeared only to be replaced by a competitive smirk. "I do believe it'll be me winning this time."

Rocinante scoffed. "You're both mistaken. This time's winner shall be none other than…" The blond did an impersonation of a sexy hair flip, making him look absolutely fabulous. "Me."

Doflamingo laughed at his brother's antic while Law gave an amused chuckle. "We'll let you get settle and changed. When the clock chimes, we'll meet back here with our little toys," Doflamingo said as he faced Law. He reached up and ruffled the dark blue hair. "See you both in half an hour."


12:30

Law had switched out of his navy-blue t-shirt and now wore a checkered shirt that matched the exact patter of the floor. Black gloves adorned his hands and he wore black cargo pants that had a total of six pockets. Two thigh holsters rested snugly against his legs.

Rocinante stood on his left and now wore a pure black sweater and normal black pants. He also had a Tauris shoulder holster on that had double pouches. Black sunglasses covered his sparkling blue eyes and he wore his usual 'war makeup.'

Doflamingo was dressed, oddly enough, in a black double-breasted blazer and black pants. Around his waist was a holster. His hair was gelled into spikes, and Law honestly thought he was looking at a true Mafia leader for a moment.

Around all their waists were belts with water balloons strapped to them.

In their hands and holsters were top of line water guns that had a shooting distance of a staggering ten feet.

"Same rules apply as always," Doflamingo started. "You're allowed to get hit a total of five times. A shot from guns count as one point, the water balloons are two points. Other than that…"

"There are no rules," Law grinned.

"It's every man for himself," Rocinante added, grinning too. Law sneaked a look at the younger blond. Rocinante had an advantage over Doffy and Law: he was a part time police officer. Meaning he had more experience with aiming a gun than the other two. However, Law didn't let that get in the way. He had a few tricks up his sleeve to ensure he would win this time.

Little did he know that the other two also had tricks up their sleeves.

"Shall we?" Doflamingo grinned maniacally, and the other two mirrored the expression. "May the best man win."


The mansion was quiet.

Too quiet.

It put Law on edge. But he let out a deep breath, sidling against the wall of the largest living room in the building. He would not lose his cool, losing cool and becoming paranoid in this game was a bad move. He ever so slowly glanced around the corner as he came to the end of the room, his expert eyes scanning the area for any signs of enemies. After not spotting any signs of trouble, he edged himself into the room. He made sure to keep close to the wall, not daring to walk out into the open space. The first time he played this Water Gun fight, he had made that mistake. He'd been targeted and shot within seconds. He would not make that mistake again, he was practically an expert at this now.

They all were, really.

Though, over the past five years, the competition had really gone up. It truly was a 'kill or be killed' game now.

He continued to sidle along the wall, keeping his eyes peeled out for any movement and his ears strained for any hints of sound. The only downside was that Rocinante had yet another advantage over Doflamingo and Law: the man was practically soundless when he wanted to be. Sure, he was clumsy most of the time, but there were times where he didn't make a single sound. He could run across a room and you wouldn't even know it unless he slipped and tripped.

The antique grandfather clocked continue to tick away to Law's right. He glanced up at the staircase next to him. He didn't see or hear anyone coming down. He began to edge his way past the clock when movement in the corner of his eye had him immediately stopping. His breath hitched, his heart leapt momentarily into his throat. He ever so slowly inched back to partially hide behind the clock. It was time for his checkered shirt to do its magic and make him blend in with the floor.

Silence filled the entire room. He didn't dare move, his heart beating away fiercely in his chest as he waited for something to happen. His eyes flickered down to the water gun in his hand, placing his finger on the trigger. He was ready to pop out of hiding and shoot if he had to. Finally, sound. The person on the stairs continued down the stairs slowly, but he could hear the near silent taps of the shoes hitting the carpet softly. It was Doflamingo, then.

But if Doflamingo continued down the stairs, it would only be a matter of time before he noticed Law against the clock. Law would have to jump out then, he would have the element of surprise. The surgeon let out a quiet breath. He could do this. He would win. No matter what.

Just as Law was about to pop out and starting shooting, a loud thump caught both Doflamingo and Law's attention. It came from upstair by the other staircase. No doubt that Rocinante had tripped. As Doflamingo turned to go investigate the sound, Law took the chance to take aim and shoot with precision. And then without a moment's hesitation, he pulled the trigger. The stream of water hit Doflamingo square in the back, right between the shoulder blades. The oldest blond let out a curse, turning on his heel and raising his gun to counterattack.

Only there was no one in sight.

The man quietly grumbled. Law had gotten better over the years, good enough to where Rocinante and himself didn't have to hold back when playing with him. It definitely made things more interesting and challenging. But he took his thoughts off Law, and instead focused back on the sound Rocinante made not a minute ago.

In the living room against the wall, Law couldn't help the accomplish smirk that tugged at his lips.

One point down, nine to go.


Rocinante cursed his clumsiness for the billionth time in his life. Of all the times to trip on nothing…! He silently dashed into the nearest room, desperate to look for a place to hide. However, the room he'd run in was nearly bare. One of the room that was usually left unoccupied. A simple meeting room. It was pointless to hide under the table, he would easily be spotted and his movements would be limited. In conclusion, it was a terrible spot to hide.

He was left out in the open.

He knew either Doflamingo or Law would come for him after he gave away his own position. He faced the door with his gun held up and finger on the trigger. He patiently waited, the moment anyone entered he would shoot them without hesitation. Seconds ticked by, and slowly two minutes rolled around with anything happening. He would have lowered his guard and guessed no one was coming after him, but he knew that was a big no-no.

Because Rocinante knew better.

He knew the moment he let his guard down, he'd be taken out.

Mercy was not an option in this game.

So he waited. He'd wait for however long it would take. Luckily (or unluckily) didn't have to wait much longer. Doflamingo suddenly burst through the doorway, his game aimed at Rocinante, and pulled the trigger upon sight. Thanks to the training he'd done at the police academy, Rocinante quickly ducked and rolled out of the way; knocking a chair down in the process. He pulled the trigger, and Doflamingo leapt to the side to avoid being hit. The older blond felt something soak his shirt twice, just where his heart would have been. He cursed, he'd been hit twice. Three times in total now. He mentally frowned though, it was almost scary how precise Rocinante had shot him. He guessed that training hadn't been for nothing.

The youngest blond, despite rolling to avoid the splashes, was hit twice; both in the torso. Doflamingo fled first, not wanting to test how long he'd be able to dodge his brother's near-perfect aim. Taking the moment to quickly collect himself, Rocinante quietly cursed his clumsiness once more. He still had three points left. He could still win.

Pushing himself onto his feet, he exited the room and went in the opposite direction his brother had gone. It was time to hide out and wait for the unsuspecting pray to creep by. He mutely chuckled as he snuck toward the bathroom on the current floor. Yes, he would be the spider, and this hallways his spiderweb. All he would have to do would be to wait for the fly to come into his trap.

He took a step into the bathroom and realized too late that his ankle had snagged something. Glancing down, he realized it was a tripwire. A fucking tripwire. His eyes widened in shock and disbelief. 'A tripwire?! Who the hell set it–'

Law. It had to be Law. Rocinante didn't bother to hold back a groan as the tripwire triggered the trap, and a water balloon hit him square in the face.

He was now down to one point left.

Shit.


Doflamingo realized he was probably in the worst position at the moment. He was already down to two points and, as far as he knew, Rocinante was down to three and Law was still at five. Never had he expected Law to become such an expert at this little game of theirs. Despite the fact he'd just been shot three times, he couldn't help the smile that traced his lips.

Law had really grown throughout the years. It seemed like only yesterday that Rocinante declared that he adopted a little brat. Oddly enough, Law had almost instantly took a liking to Doflamingo, and it took several months for him to warm up Rocinante, the man who adopted him. Doflamingo had teased Rocinante about that for quite some time. But then Law had gotten in trouble, and Rocinante had saved him. And after that moment, Rocinante became Cora-san to Law; the polite version of the nickname Doflamingo gave his brother, Corazon.

Now here was Law, head surgeon in the best hospital in country.

Damn if he wasn't proud of that cheeky brat.

He headed towards the stairs, his open and searching for any signs of his nephew. He wouldn't let Law get the best of him again. He'd be ready this time. He glanced down the stairs and gave a victorious grin as he saw Law had fallen into his well placed trap.

Law's foot was right on top of the mine.

And the moment the surgeon lifted his foot…boom. Water explosion.

Law looked pissed, probably at himself for not noticing the black trap that had been placed on a black tile on the floor. Doflamingo didn't hesitate, he pulled out his gun and raised his gun to shoot. However, Law spotted him first. Unclipping his water balloon with expert speed, Law lobbed the balloon at Doflamingo with great precision. The blond cursed and ducked back into the hall to avoid the explosion of water. Deeming it safe, he headed back to the stairs and took aim.

Then he fired.

He watched as his first missed due to the surgeon bending back at a miraculous angle that reminded the blond of the scene from The Matrix. His next three shots, however, hit home. One in Law's shoulder, the other two on his chest. The surgeon gave a growl and continued to fire. Unfortunately, one of his attacks hit Doffy right between the eyes. Law looked rather pleased with his aim, and the blond retreated in fear of getting hit once more.

He was down to one point.

Fucking hell.


Law wasn't sure how to fix his current situation. If he took his foot off the mine, he was fucked. This would count as a water balloon, and since he'd just been shot three times, it would kill him out of the game. So taking his foot off the mine was not an option. Unless he put something heavy on it in place of his foot. His eyes landed on the only thing within his reach. A heavy china vase.

If he broke it, Doflamingo would have his head. Luckily, he was pretty good with delicate things, seeing as he was a heart surgeon. Slowly, he pulled the vase over ever so carefully began to remove his foot as he pulled the vase onto the trap. A single bead of sweat ran down the side of his face.

His foot came away from the mine. He waited a moment. Then two. …Nothing happened. He gave a sigh of relief. The vase worked as a substitute. He held in a breathy laugh as he stood up and took several steps backwards.

Where he walked directly into someone else.

Surprised, Law automatically dropped his gun. The person behind him did the same thing, and both lunged forward to get away from their enemy. Jumping into a roll, Law pulled out the water guns located in his thigh holsters. The blond he'd bumped into, Rocinante, turned as he grabbed the guns from his holster. Law pulled the triggers as fast as he could. Rocinante bobbed back and forth, dodging the water squirts with difficulty.

A shot hit Law in the leg. He cursed. One more hit and he was done for. But he refused to run. He stopped, aimed, and fired. The water hit Rocinante alright…directly in his crotch. Law had to fight not to let out a bark of laughter upon seeing Rocinante's horrified expression, but ultimately failed. His laughter echoed through the mansion.

Rocinante suddenly forgot about being shot in the groin when he heard his adopted son's laughter, letting a soft smile grace his features. It was rare to hear Law laugh. He saw Doflamingo peek his head out from the top of the staircase and didn't fail to notice that his older brother had a soft smile on his face as well. The surgeon's laughter died down and the touching moment ended with Doflamingo gave his own laugh.

"Fufufu, I see you got Roci," the older blond said, his eyes falling on the wet spot on his brother's pants. His smile widened. "What's the matter, Roci? Have an accident?"

"Shut up, Doffy."

"Fufufu. So, what are you at, Lawsy?"

"One point. You?"

"One. I guess this is it, eh?"

"I guess so." Both raised their guns, both wearing smirks, and both thinking they'd be the winner. This was it, whoever got hit first would be the loser. They stared into each other's eyes; gray gold-flecked against deep blue. The end of the battle was so close at hand, both could taste victory on the tip of their tongues. Fingers moved against plastic triggers in a final moment.

And that was when the front door to the mansion burst open.

Doflamingo tore his eyes away from Law at the sudden sound and intrusion.

Law, on the other hand, felt his finger twitch at the sound, causing him to pull the trigger.

He hit Doflamingo square in the crouch.

There in the doorway stood the entire Donquixote family. Baby5, Buffalo, Dillinger, Vergo, Monet, Jora, Trebol, Diamante, Senor, Pica, Sugar, Lao G, Machvise, and Gladius.

And all them were staring at the wet spots on Doflamingo and Rocinante's pants.

"Uh… D-Do you want us to come, uh…back later…?" A light blush tinted all the girls' cheeks.

And for the second time that day, Law laughed.


When Law returned to work a week later, Law was pleased with himself knowing that he'd won the Water Gun Fight. He barely even minded the paperwork he was currently working on at his desk in his office. In fact, he even hummed a little tune as his pen scratched away at the paper below.

A knock at his door broke him out of his little trance, and he set his pen aside. "Yes?" A nurse he recognized as Kaya entered with a smile. "What can I do for you, Ms. Kaya?"

"You have a visitor, Dr. Trafalgar," she answered, his voice more cheerful than usual. Law raised an eyebrow. A visitor, eh? He wondered if it was Rocinante. He wouldn't be surprised if it was, the blond was terribly clingy at times and had a hard time saying goodbye.

"Alright, send them in." She gave a nod and motioned for the person to enter as she left.

Law's jaw dropped at seeing exactly who is visitor was.

Large, round eyes and a wide grin filled his vision, and that unmistakable voice rang in his ears. "Shishishi, hi Torao!"

Law's life was never the same after that moment.

Though Doflamingo did take great joy in teasing Law about his new friend whenever he had the chance.


A/N: Again, I have NO idea where this came from. All I know is that I'm tired and hungry and I'm going to watch Monty Python's Flying Circus until I fall asleep. Hope it was, uh…alright? Hope you enjoyed? Review, maybe, if you want?

Soundtrack I listened to while writing this: First half; Story of My Life, and All Star by Smash Mouth. Second half (the fight); The Phoenix, Immortals, Thnks Fr Th Memrs, Centuries, My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark (Light Em Up) by Fall Out Boy, and Leave It All Behind by Cult to Follow. I think Leave It All Behind describes and what happened to him pretty good (at least in my opinion.) Give it a listen. I found the song by watching a Doflamingo vs Law amv on YouTube. XD

Have a great morning/noon/night!

Your shy ice elemental,
~»roo the psycho«