Author's Notes: This is my take on an Invader Zim insanity fic. It seems like that could be its own subgenre on this site, so I wanted to try it, but from a slightly different perspective. I don't think it's my best work, but I tried, so hopefully it isn't garbage. Thank you for checking out my story, and I hope you like it. Please favorite and review if you feel like it :)
Their Poor Insane Sons
Prof. Membrane wasn't the type of father that hung out with his children's friends. Mostly because for some reason his kids didn't have any friends. As much as he hated to admit it within himself, he understood why. Gaz was antisocial, but Membrane just saw her as a mind that didn't suffer fools, much like his own. Dib, however...Dib was another story. He was insane and always raving about things that no one else could see. It often worried the Professor, but he knew expressing such worry openly would only result in another rant from the preteen.
It was an uncomfortable feeling, sitting across his kitchen table with the parents of one of the other skool children. He was used to associating with academics, and the conversations were usually intellectual in nature with no room for personal expression whatsoever. That was what the Professor was comfortable with. This, however...
"Would you like a donut, Professor?" Moreen, the mom, asked him, "I made them myself."
"Moreen makes a heck of a donut," Tom, the dad, added enthusiastically, "Most people just buy those pre-packaged donuts, but Moreen goes that extra mile!"
"Well to be fair, I kind of have to," Moreen said with a pensive smile, "Our little boy won't eat food that isn't prepared at home. He's afraid he'll be poisoned. You know how suspicious kids these days are. Heh heh heh..."
The Professor could tell this wasn't just a friendly visit to get to know the other parents in the neighborhood. These two looked exhausted and fidgety; like they hadn't slept in days. He could see the way they both looked at him, like he had the answers to an unspoken question. He was used to that look from humanity in general. This, however...
"So, how is your son adjusting to his new skool?" Professor Membrane asked, sensing that such a question might lead the conversation in a productive direction, "Have the other kids been treating him well?"
"Do they ever?" Tom asked sardonically.
"Tom!" Moreen admonished him, "Actually Professor, we wanted to talk to you about Dib. Well, technically, I mean...I don't know how to say this without sounding insensitive, but..."
"We've never met another parent with a child that also suffers insanity the way our boy does," Tom finished for her, "We were wondering if you could give us some tips for how to handle our own child. He's...getting worse."
"Oh?" Well, this wasn't what Professor Membrane had been expecting, but he wasn't exactly surprised. His face often shared the same haggard look as the wary couple sitting across from him, which is why he often concealed it with his goggles and collar.
"Our boy's always been different," Tom explained, "When he was first born he was so small and weak...we almost lost him. He's always been a very sickly child. Our prescription bills are enough to attest to that. Other kids don't want to be around him because he yells a lot, but he can't help that. He refuses to wear his hearing aids, and the ear droplets don't work the way they used to."
"Our Zim is a special little guy, but other people mistaken it for stupidity," Moreen rationalized, "Lately though, he's completely lost touch with reality. He screams about killing everyone on earth, and he sees things on the TV screen that aren't there."
"The TV was off!" Tom shouted incredulously; still unable to fully digest the situation, "He also thinks we're robots. He actually tried to 'fix' us by cutting our heads open!"
"Ah, yes. The bread knife incident," Moreen nodded as if it wasn't such a big deal, "Fortunately he didn't get a hold of the sharp knives. We've hidden them so he won't find them. Zim's also afraid he's going to be poisoned or cut open by the CIA. We got him a pet to try to give him someone to talk to-"
"Which I was against from the beginning," Tom interrupted, "I was afraid we'd wake up with the dog's head in our bed and the body on a pike in the front yard."
"Honey, Zim wouldn't do that!" Moreen defended her son.
"We don't know what he'd do anymore!" Tom shouted as he turned to his wife, "Zim doesn't know us, and he thinks if he doesn't kill everything in sight it'll kill him! He thinks we and the dog are all robots, and he's some sort of alien invader!"
"I know just what you mean," The Professor nodded sagely, "My Dib has never tried to hurt me personally, but I also fear his behavior is getting more irrational and violent as time passes. His delusions usually involve hallucinations regarding movie monsters, ghosts, and aliens. He's obsessed with them. I suppose obsession is a common trait in our family. I know he's a good kid deep down, but he has a lot of issues to sort through on a daily basis. I've searched for years for the cure, but so far I've come up with nothing."
"Professor Membrane," Tom addressed him in a more tentative voice than he had a moment ago, "Would it...Would it be unmanly if I admitted I'm afraid to go home these days?"
"Not really," Membrane replied with a shrug, "Honestly I don't like to come home from work either. I know what I'll be confronted with. My poor insane son and my poor checked-out daughter. I fear Dib's condition is also adversely affecting Gaz. She doesn't want to talk to anyone anymore, and even though she gets irritated by Dib I still notice the way she sticks close to him. I suppose she knows he needs her. She covers her heart with a veil of darkness hoping no one else will see the way she's hurting. It pains me that this is what our family has become."
"I guess I'm grateful we only have one child," Tom admitted, "I would hate it if another child of ours was endangered by Zim. Do you think Gaz is in danger?"
"No, I don't," Membrane replied; the smallest of smiles tugging at the corner of his mouth beneath the collar, "Dib may not be normal, but he would never hurt Gaz. I think on some level she grounds him to reality. Well, as much of reality as he can see. Tom, Moreen, why did you really come to see me?"
"Well..." Moreen didn't look at anyone as she spoke, afraid to make the words real.
"We've been considering sending Zim to the Crazy Home For Boys here in town," Tom finished for her once again, "That's why we moved here, because this place has ample facilities with good doctors. We just wanted to get your opinion first, since you're considered somewhat of an expert on childhood schizoid disorders."
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Prof. Membrane told him sternly, "I sent Dib there when he was 10. I can safely tell you that children in that institution don't get better. They're not interested in helping these boys live normal lives. They're interested in keeping these boys away from normal people. I haven't found the right combination of antipsychotic meds for Dib, but I refuse to give up on him. He's a bright kid and he still has a chance to live a normal life...someday."
"But you see Professor, that's what I'm worried about," Tom spoke up, "Zim can never be normal. He was born with a rare condition that turns his skin green and causes a heightened sense of smell and a degenerative lack in hearing. When he's in his 30s he'll probably be completely deaf. He knows he's not normal, and when coupled with his delusions...I don't think he will ever come to grips with the world around him. I just don't see any other options."
"Don't say that!" Moreen shouted as she began to sob, "Zim is not a monster! Sure, he killed a few hamsters in the basement, but hamsters are just rats with puffy cheeks anyway! He's smart Tom, and he could get over this someday."
"Moreen, his mind is almost gone," Tom argued, "Remember what he tried to do to that poor Nick kid?"
Moreen hiccuped a few more sobs and rubbed her eyes with a napkin from the table. She looked so miserable as she stared back at her husband. She loved her son, and didn't like that they might have to send him away even though the hospital wouldn't actually help him. It just didn't seem right.
"There, there, ma'am," The Professor said soothingly as he patted her hand from across the table, "I know it hurts, but it sounds like you and Tom have both done your best. No one can fault you for what is obviously an internal mental issue."
"Tell that to the mailman," Tom muttered to himself as he placed his head on his propped up hand.
Just then, the front door opened, and Dib ran through full of frantic energy. He saw that his dad was in the kitchen, so he decided to run up to him as he waved a paper around in his hand.
"Dad, you're not gonna believe this!" Dib shouted manically, "I finally know how to expose the alien in my- AAHHH!"
Dib screamed and then froze when he saw Moreen and Tom sitting there in the kitchen, and the wild look in the boy's eyes made them a little nervous. It reminded them a little too much of Zim's more paranoid moments.
"Dad, why did you let them in!?" Dib screeched in terror, "Those are Zim's robot parents!"
Their eyes widened, realizing that Zim had been telling his deluded stories in skool, and that this kid was disturbed enough to actually believe him.
"Of course they are, son," Prof. Membrane humored the boy as he patted Dib's head, "Don't worry son, everything is under control."
"But they work for the alien!" Dib shouted desperately, "You have to get them out of here before they find out about my countermeasures!"
"Um, perhaps we should be going," Tom told the Professor diplomatically as he tugged nervously on the bottom of his purple vest, "Moreen and I have a lot to tend to. Thanks for your advice, Professor."
"It was really nice getting to know you," Moreen added with a nervous smile, "Bye Dib."
"You'll never take me alive!" Dib shouted as he hopped behind his father and waved the paper at them like it was a weapon, "Get out of my house, unholy space monsters!"
Moreen drew closer to Tom and they both quickly scooted out of the house, but not before catching one final rant from Dib.
"Don't worry Dad, I'll save us all from Zim's evil plans, and then together we can perform the autopsy and see his alien guts strewn out everywhere!" Dib exclaimed to his father, but Zim's parents also heard him before they left.
Moreen quickly shut the door behind them and together they walked out to their car. Tom leaned over the edge of the beat up clunker. It was nearly totaled after Zim stole it and drove it through the park a few weeks prior. Tom took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one, needing the release for all of his stress.
"That was..." Moreen's sentence died there; hanging uncertainty in the air.
"We have to do it," Tom replied with firm resolve, "This isn't just for our safety anymore. You heard what that kid said, he wants to cut open our boy."
"I'm sure he didn't mean that," Moreen rationalized.
"You mean like how Zim didn't mean it when he made that bomb and nearly detonated it at his last skool?" Tom reminded her pointedly, "If you hadn't been at the bake sale that day hundreds of kids would be dead now. What happens when Zim decides to buy a gun, or when he finds our knives, or when he-"
"Stop it! Just stop it!" Moreen screamed at the top of her lungs, "I get it, okay? He's dangerous, he's in danger, and we have to send him away! I just...What will they do to him? Will they pump him so full of pills that he doesn't remember his own name? Will they beat him? Will he try something...you know. Where did we go wrong? What did we miss? How do we get our son back?"
"We don't," Tom replied stonily; already resolved and unwilling to budge, "We might lose our chance for a happy family, but at least no one else will get hurt...including Zim."
Moreen squeezed Tom's hand for comfort before she stepped around to get into the passenger's seat of the car. Tom and Moreen drove away from the Membrane household knowing they were still in a terrible situation but at least knowing another parent out there understood.
When Tom and Moreen got home they saw the lights were out. That either meant Zim was asleep or else he was in the basement with their dog Gir working on another project. They were at least happy Zim took to the idea of having a pet, even if he did call Gir his 'robot slave'. Well, it wasn't much worse than what he called his own parents most of the time.
Tom was about to go into their room and Moreen was about to go into the kitchen when they heard the telltale sound of Zim's boots marching up the stairs. They stood closer to each other when they heard that sound. There was safety in numbers. They just hoped Zim was in a good mood.
Zim ignored them as usual as he turned to their big screen TV and fiddled with some buttons on the bottom. The TV didn't come on, Tom and Moreen knew it wouldn't, and Zim stood back and waited for something only he could see.
"Greetings, My Tallest! Invader Zim reporting," Zim intoned, and his parents dared not move lest he fly into a fit of rage for them daring to interrupt him, "I have changed the location of my base, and soon the planet will be ready for the armada. There is a new human that dares to challenge the might of ZIM! I will obliterate this worm-monkey and rule this planet in your name! ... What's that? Sorry, I couldn't hear you. ... Say, what's so funny?"
"Moreen," Tom whispered in her ear, "It's happening again. What do we do?"
Moreen knew exactly what her husband was talking about. Zim's hallucinations, the Tallests, were cruel apparitions of his mind that would often torment him and demand him to hurt people. When they started to laugh at Zim they knew their son was going to go on another rampage. He would scream, he would deny his Tallests cruel mockery of him, and then he would lock himself in the basement to work on a terrible invention or torture some helpless creature he bought at the pet store.
"...Yes, My Tallests, I suppose that is true..." Zim replied hesitantly to words only he could hear, "...Well, I guess so. Never fear, My Tallests, I won't let you down! Invader Zim, signing off."
"So Zim, the Tallests called you, huh?" Tom asked in hopes of Zim actually telling them what was going on, "So, what did they say, son?"
Zim of course couldn't hear his father. He was too preoccupied in his own little world. Moreen went into the kitchen to make her family some snacks, knowing Zim would never answer them and not in the mood to try tonight. Their talk with the professor was still buzzing in her head. Eventually they would have to lock Zim away. The question was, do they do it before he hurt someone, or try to give him one more chance to come around on his own?
"GIR!" Zim shouted for their Labrador, and the dog's paw pads patted across the floor as it lazily walked toward its master, "Gir, I need you to gather as much peanut butter and cat hair as you can find. I need to discover the Dib's weakness. Robo-parents! I'm going out. Guard the house until I get back."
"You can't do that, Zim!" Tom exclaimed with a slight hint of anger in his voice, "It's late, and you could get lost in a new neighborhood."
Zim ignored his father and continued to march out the door. Tom grabbed for Zim's arm, but the boy hissed and slapped his father's face; leaving ugly scratch marks in his wake.
"Great, you're malfunctioning again," Zim talked more to himself than his dad, "As soon as I find my tools I'll need to fix that."
Zim left the house with Gir following to try to get some more attention from Zim, leaving Tom standing there in shock and Moreen in the kitchen trying to block out the entire exchange. She only hoped when Zim came back he would be okay.
Prof. Membrane was turning out the lights so his children could sleep while he worked downstairs in the lab. He often kept a late schedule and didn't like to disturb his children with any unecessary lights or noises.
As he was about to turn off the hall light upstairs he noticed soft blue light coming from the crack of Dib's bedroom door. The professor opened the door slightly to check on his boy. Dib was typing away at his computer and had a menacing look in his eye. He was probably on the trail of some nonexistent paranormal entity.
"Goodnight, Dib," Professor Membrane called to the boy from the other side of the door.
"Shh, not now Dad," Dib dismissed his father, "I'm checking to see if the spy cameras in front of Zim's house have picked up anything. Soon the world will know the truth. Soon they'll see that Zim is an alien!"
Professor Membrane turned away when his son started to laugh maniacally to himself. He closed the door and turned off the hallway lights before descending down the stairs in the dark.
He made it to the basement where his many inventions and experiments were haphazardly strewn about the room. He sighed, weary but at the same time knowing that he needed some science to get his mind off things.
"My poor insane son."
The End