it was my first day at my new school, it was going to be hard to fit in at the end of the day i was a bi home schooled kid not the normal for everyone else.
2 days later*
i had just left my first lesson when i get told for the tenth time already that day that the cute girl maisy who i liked thought i was cute and me lieing is terrible so trying to pretend that i was straight and not like her back was hard especially with no friends i spent my break and lunch hiding in the girls toilets crying about everything.
as i was leaving the bathroom after sorting myself out and made me look like i hadn't just spernt the last half hour crying i was stoped by maisy's best friend who hasn't stopped going on about how amazing and pretty she is which i already new but had to pretend i disagreed and like some random guy.
later that night*
crying myself to sleep was normal for me but tonight waa different, i couldn't get maisy out of my head all i could thik about was how perfect she was and how i wished i could be with her. Yet my life was a mess and would be over if we were and my ex would definitely going crazy on me. I had been crying for about a hour when my brother came in to comfort me and make me smile like he had done for the past 2 nights, after i had cryed out all the tears i had over this girl i didn't even know, yet somehow i knew she was perfect for me and that she would be my world one day so i didn't know why i was holding back because i knew we could both be so happy together yet there was something holding me back and i couldn't figure out what it is it could be my past or the fact that my parents had no idea i was bi only my brother ether way i knew i was stopping us both from being truly happy yet i still couldn't give up the chance to be normal for once.
the next day*
i woke up like i did the past 3 days with dry eyes that i cryed when trying to open or close them. after a bit i could see properly and started the doing process of getting reddy for school in the tired grumpy zombie state i was in.
as i was waiting for my bus i was talking to a long time friend about are ex who happenedto be who she liked again. everything with her is always so complicated i thought laughing. as the bus pulled up slowly i started regreting getting the bus as it would mean i would have to see my bully who was also kind of my sexual harasser. he always tuched my leg and move his hand up till it was under my skirt and i had to juat pretend i didn't care or i would pay like normal.
at school*
on my way to my firat lesson i saw her i saw maisy standing there it was like ahe paralysed me i couldn't more i was just stood stairing at her while hiden behind a tree so she couldn't see me it wasn't till the bell rang and i realised i was going to be late to my next lesson that i could move.
it was now break and maisy's friend was back interrogating me on why i didn't like maisy when this boy came and saved me he just grabbed my arm and kissed me like that i cant say it was a good kiss but he wasn't the worst i have had he was pretty cute to shame i liked someone else because he was single and liked me though i had only been aty school 3 days and i was already causing problems like always. this is the reason i lefy school i never have any friends and i cause trouble and pain were ever i go.