AUTHOR'S NOTE: A little bit of I guess kind of a "Crack Fic" that snuck into my head after watching some of Ouran High School Host Club. I haven't watched the entire series yet nor have I read all of the manga, so I'm probably taking a lot of creative liberties with this story, but I just got my computer back and I want to share something ^_^ I have objections to the main character winding up with who you would expect them to wind up with and so I've picked my own pairing/trio to play with. I will actually probably do a full-blown fiction of this at some point (I am in the middle of a fan fic for a different series right now).

As always, Ouran High School Host Club and its characters don't belong to me, it belongs to Bisco Hatori. Please enjoy this little bit ^_^

Thank you as always for your time to read and review ^_^

Secrets of the "Hi-tachi" Household

"Haruhi."

Haruhi froze the moment she heard her name in stereo as she felt two warm forms pressing in close. "What?" she asked, forcing herself to calmness and running the brush through her dark hair.

The overhead light caught the gleam of gold on her right hand and she saw two redheads with Cheshire cat grins closing in. "Have we told you today how much we love you?"

There it was.

Haruhi felt her cheeks heat up and her grip on the brush slackened and one elegant hand deftly removed the item from her hand while a pair of warm lips moved along her neck. Teeth caught her ear on the opposite side and she stifled a near whimper. "Haruhi…we're bored. Want to play a game?" Hikaru asked, nipping her neck lightly.

"What…kind of game?" Haruhi was proud that she managed to keep her voice from shaking and Kaoru did wicked things with her ear.

"The game where we show Haruhi how much we adore her…" Hikaru nearly purred in her ear and goosebumps spread down her arms and a tingle started in her stomach and chest.

"The twins are asleep and if they need anything their nanny will take care of them for tonight," Kaoru murmured.

"But—" Haruhi began, she prided herself on taking care of Sachiko and Ichiro on her own without much use of the nannies that seemed to permeate the world she found herself in now that she was married into the Hitachiin family.

"We deserve adult-only time too, Haruhi."

This time the words were in chorus and she shivered hard at the simultaneous nips.

Even after five years, she still lost every time they double-teamed her.

The Top Five Secrets of the "Hi-Tachi" Household:

These items are considered "Top Secret" and neither the twins nor Haruhi share these facts with their old friends—namely because they need to keep it out of the society pages as well and it's better to keep it to "their world" rather than hope everyone else will understand.

1) While Kaoru does have his own room in the house (Haruhi is technically married to Hikaru), it is actually rarely occupied. Most nights, Haruhi is sandwiched between the twins in the extra-large king size bed that Hikaru bought as a wedding present to both of them. Hikaru snuggles closely into Haruhi's back and his arm is over her waist, though more often than not there is some contact with Kaoru who sleeps on the other side. Kaoru's arm is usually slung across both Haruhi and Hikaru's waists with his fingertips curled at the base of Hikaru's spine.

2) None of the three are actually completely sure which twin is their children's father. Chances are rather high that it's Hikaru, but Kaoru was also intimate with Haruhi around the time the children were conceived. None of them particularly care about it either—the twins call both Hikaru and Kaoru "Papa" and the three pass it off as it being difficult to tell their father and uncle apart at this age. Genetic tests are inconclusive due to the fact Hikaru & Kaoru are identical twins.

3) When there is a storm threatening, either Kaoru or Hikaru are home with Haruhi while the other portrays whichever of them is supposed to be present at the current meeting. Usually they decide who gets to be home with Haruhi using Jan Ken Po—Hikaru cheats and usually winds up winning.

4) Hikaru and Kaoru both can get extremely jealous and over possessive of Haruhi when someone else appears to be hitting on her—even their old friends. Usually, Haruhi brings them back to their senses by saying in an ominous voice "Hi-tachi" and they both start guiltily and bring themselves back under control.

5) Though both twins are completely devoted to Haruhi and their children as well as maintaining their unorthodox household—Hikaru is still the one who appears to be most in love with her, but neither could choose to be without each other or Haruhi so they make it work.