01
Dear Doctor
New Lady in the Neighborhood
My Dearest Doctor,
We recently became aware of an alternate reality transplant human, who has been quietly living here for half a year without mentioning it. Once I convinced her that yes, I'm a real person, so are you, so is Jack, so is the TARDIS, so are a few other people...and after she insisted that Harkness not be allowed nearer to her than five miles...something about needing shots before she caught some kind of airborne virus or other from him...she told him to his face that she'd need to boil him first and didn't want anything he might have. He wasn't happy...no idea who she is but she talked my senior medical staff into putting him into a bright red bio-hazard outfit, complete with cap and mask.
When I stopped laughing, I had her write a letter on the special paper for the telegram you left us, she seems to be quite a character...a bit grouchy but that could be due to her joints and other mobility issues.
By the way, we did finally discover where you'd left your scarf, so long ago...mother told me, when she saw it again, that you'd used it to wrap me up one winter day when I was tiny and the heat was out...so I would sleep safe and warm. She told me I might have been six months old, but certainly no older. My daughter wears it now. She dug it up when she was maybe six and she's worn it ever since, just because it was something you once wore. Never even met you and she adores you already.
Kate Stewart
P.S.
I'm not my father, so I see no reason
to be all that formal with you, of all people.
After all, if things had been different I might have
gone with you too.
XOXOXO
He mentioned it the TARDIS so she could tell younger him where he'd left it, laughing, then chuckled again at the hugs and kisses she'd sent...sort of sent. Close enough. Though her daughter sounded very sweet-natured. He did like the new lady's notion of a proper 'suit' for Jack, though. Grinning, he put the top page down and started reading the second letter.
Dear Doctor,
I should probably feel sorrier for the new headache you're about to receive than I do, but I can't quite manage it. If I weren't so happy about the likelihood I'm actually going to get to meet my all time favorite person (you) I'd probably apologize...and mean it, but I won't apologize cuz I'd be lying. I'm not the least tiniest bit sorry that this happened. Now, since it's not a sure thing which Doctor this is going to reach, it's almost generic...but not quite.
Oh dear, that didn't sound promising.
See, where I was born, raised and until a few months before two days ago, which was when UNIT found out I was here (read that about six months linear) lived, you're a fictitious character on a television show, called 'Doctor Who?', owned by the BBC...and the TARDIS is nothing more (or less) than a prop. A major prop, but still a prop.
"A prop? Like...wait...a fake?" He was horrified. That poor woman, the closest she'd gotten was...nonononono, obviously, she was begging for a proper introduction to the real thing. He decided she needed one, the poor deprived woman. No wonder she'd kept her head down until the major events were over and he wasn't busy anymore!
I've got some box sets, a couple DVDs of Christmas Specials and the 50th Special on my computer, by the way, and from what Jack and Kate Stuart have said, it sounds like the TV show hit it square on the head, so before I let you see any, I think I better make sure your ship looks at them first.
"Box sets? Like what? DVDs...oh, yeah...that's bad. Very bad. Very, very bad. In no way could that possibly be a good thing. How much does she know?"
I'll let you argue with her about it...dunno why you even bother, you always lose those...anyway. Or should that be 'Any Who?'
"Crap, she knows..."
Now then, my favorite 'yous' are Pony, Navy, Fop, Cricket and Scarf. I can probably get along okay with Stripes, but if the you who reads this is Diva you might want to pass it to Vest or Cricket since I will most certainly introduce you to the back of my hand in that body and probably sooner rather than later. Oh...yeah, I don't call the bow-tied you 'Chinny'. I call him Pony. Between the chin, the jaw, that style of boot (clip-clop) and the hair (can we say 'forelock'?), yeah, 'Pony'.
"Pony?"
But yes, I could probably put up with Stripes, but I don't really think you want me anywhere near you when you were that you. That you turned off his brain and stopped thinking...and that means that you turned an oxymoron into a fact...and not just any old fact, either. Oh no, you turned it into a FACT. The phrase 'Stupid Time-lord' was supposed to stay an oxymoron, it's not a concept that should ever have been made a fact. I think it's all Adam's fault, I think stupidity is a contact poison and you didn't clean the TARDIS well enough after he left so there were still some contaminated areas.
"Oi!"
Hey, at least I'm trying to find some reason that makes sense for why you'd do a thing like that.
"True."
And yeah, I think I could hear the 'OI!' from wherever you're at, all the way to here.
"Okay, that's just weird."
Now, I got here still in bed, BTW. I was asleep so details aren't going to be available. I dunno when, where or how, and I don't actually care, either so I don't suppose it even matters.
"There goes that idea."
I do know there's been a couple of fixed points so you just might be stuck with me...here's hoping. Now, if you're the one after Pony, you've got an attitude like First and a personality that puts me in mind of Diva. If your mouth starts to echo Diva, I will hide your outfit and leave the other one out as a comment...and ask the TARDIS to tell all the yous from Seven onward all about it. Got me?
"So glad it's not an issue I have to concern myself with, not just yet, anyway. But I'll keep it in mind."
Myrna Cooper
Age 53
American Granny-type
P.S.
Yes, I do indeed pinch cheeks...
"Yeeesh. Well, I'll just have to keep my head out of her reach, is all. Not difficult."
"YOW!" The Doctor yelped, then ruefully rubbed his bottom. She'd been telling the absolute truth about being a 'cheek pincher', too bad he'd neglected to ask which ones. He was rather sure that was going to leave a bruise. He'd figured he was tall enough to stay mostly out of reach, too...apparently not. It was hard to keep those out of reach...she'd promised not to hit him, not this him, not Pony, oh no. Pony, she'd told Kate Stewart, in front of him no less, was rather fragile in some ways, so instead of slapping or hitting, pinches would do...thus the demonstration...resulting his new bruise, or, if he really needed to be brought up short and hard, a good, double handful grab ought to do it.
That comment had him blushing a really bright shade of red. Especially when Kate started giggling and then he heard Benton's unmistakable laughter coming from behind him. He eyed the older human female, leaning on a walker as she was, for Kate had been correct about the mobility issues. She used the walker or sometimes a cane to move about and there was no way there's be any running for her. She just wasn't able to. She had an easy sense of humor, openly showed him affection alongside gentle snarking, but he hesitated not all for she was time lost, in the wrong reality on the unfriendly side of several fixed points and that meant she wasn't going anywhere.
The only safe place for her to live for whatever time she had left was the TARDIS...and she at least liked him. He considered it a bit more, Cooper was unlikely to place herself in a dangerous situation, more because she wouldn't be able to get there before it was over, than from any lack of desire to do so, but the point was the dangerous stuff was likely to be over and done with before she got there. She knew that, too, he rather thought.
"She's got your little trailer sitting with the windows open, situated in a garden I never use." He finally spoke, once he finished rubbing the sting from his bum. He put a supporting hand under one of her elbows but moved slowly just the same...she still leaned against the walker and her steps were still small and uncomfortable looking. "Do you have a jammed hip?"
"Ow." Kate muttered in sympathy. "You should have said, we do have chiropractors, Ms. Cooper."
Cooper waved her off and answered him instead. "Yes, I think so. It moves in and out at weird angles as it wants, it'll pass. Eventually."
He shook his shaggy head and tossed the hair out of his eyes: She almost expected to hear a whinny, actually, but he snorted...again, reinforcing the 'horsey' impression he gave off, "I'll tend to it, Kate. I've got better treatments available for her. It seems I've a new shipmate...not just a companion, really. More of a dependly, actually."
"Yes, there is that, isn't there? Poor old Doctor, out of your comfort zone again. Doesn't get a lot more domestic in nature than this..." Cooper said under her breath. "I think the word you want is 'dependent', though."
He watched her ruefully as she eased into the TARDIS, he could see the stairs disappear from where he stood, replaced by gentle ramps, and sighed. Domestic indeed.
~*~Teaser~*~