Hungry Eyes
Have you ever heard the expression 'hungry eyes'? I don't think I ever heard the expression until Tom used it today in the mess hall. He said that it was the name of some twentieth century song. I think perhaps tonight I will look up the song on the data base and play it. I simply can't seem to get it out of my mind.
Tom was using it in reference to Jenny Delany. I don't think he exactly meant it in a nice way. To me that expression would fit Chakotay's eyes. Yes, it is a definite fit!
Chakotay has the most wonderful eyes. They are so dark as to seem almost black. The few times that I have seen him angry, they really did look black! They are beautiful eyes surrounded with the sexist long eyelashes that I have ever seen on a man. (Yes, eyelashes can indeed be sexy. Just take a look at Chakotays! But, then again, everything about Chakotay is sexy!).
His eyes are truly a mirror to his soul. I have spent hundreds of hours looking at those eyes. I have spent even more time dreaming of those eyes. I have seen many expressions in those eyes - anger, hurt, pain, sadness, joy, love, peace and lust among others.
Many of those expressions were put there by me. I have hurt him many times. I don't really mean to hurt him. It just happens. I sometimes ask to much from him. I want him to agree with me on all the decisions that I make, and yet I don't want a lap dog. That has caused him much anger and hurt.
I have seen him in pain when one of our crew is hurt and laying in sickbay barely alive. He, like me, takes their pain to heart. It is difficult to watch them struggle to live. He, much more than me, seems to feel everything they are going through!
I have seen his sadness when one of the crew loses that struggle. It is hard to send a body out into the lonely vacuum of space. Each one we leave behind tears at our hearts.
Yet, I have seen the joy in his eyes when we have succeeded in making a good first contact, when the trade is fair. Most of all, I have seen the joy in his eyes as he holds one of the newborns on the ship. As big as he is, he is the most gentle and caring person I know. The children love him. They clamor around him when they see him.
I have seen love and peace in his eyes when he looks at me and our own children. He has finally found that which he had been searching for so very long. My angry warrior now knows peace!
Each night when he gets into our bed, I see the lust in his eyes. After five years of marriage and two children, it is still there. Those are his hungry eyes. They make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world and the sexiest. I see those eyes, and I completely melt. Just that look makes me feel so alive, so wanted.
Long ago when I was a teen, I often noticed my father looking at my mother that way. I thought it was wonderful that he loved her so much! I had often said that I will have found the right man when I see him looking at me the way my dad looked at my mom. People would tell me that was not always possible. I found that to be true with Justin and Mark. They never looked at me that way. But, Chakotay! Oh! When Chakotay looks at me that way, I know I have definitely found that person. He is my everything! Whenever I look into his hungry eyes, I know that I am truly loved!