Title: Road Rage
Summary: Alternate universe, present kind of thing. The reapers are now given cars to make reaping easier. William is first to try one out. Chaos ensues.
Note: OK the idea is nuts I know. I was sitting in our car trying to figure out how to hook my iPod up to the stereo system in our new car and decided that that's a very sweet radio. I also realized the car looks kind of like the Witches 5 car from Sailor Moon. Then I wondered how it would be if reapers drove. I imagine William to be a nervous and/or angry driver, no clue why. But wouldn't you be angry if Grell, Ronald, and Undertaker joined you? :) Enjoy!
William T. Spears straightened his glasses and glared at the smallish vehicle in front of him. Then he turned his glare towards the set of keys another member of management held out to him. "We want managers to try these out," he said. "You know how it is. We'll get better reports from you than someone like, say, Grell Sutcliff."
William took the keys reluctantly. He and several others had been up all hours of the night the previous week, reading up on cars. He felt he could handle one confidently. He just did not like being used as a lab rat.
And he did suppose that management had a point. It was the year 2011 after all. Cars had become a normal thing to have. If the reapers wanted to continue to blend in, they needed to learn how to drive.
The reaper holding the keys patted him on the shoulder and walked away. Before he left the new garage, he called over his shoulder, "I expect a full report when you return!"
William only nodded. He walked around the vehicle, judging it thoroughly before he decided to get in. It had little trunk space, two doors, and a small backseat. He narrowed his eyes, hoping that his scythe would fit in the small backseat.
He opened the driver's side door and slid behind the wheel. He pulled out his ledger and checked it, grateful that management had given him a few hours between his first lesson driving and collecting the soul of a man named Jaime Thompson.
Almost on cue a shrill shout reached his ears. "SHOTGUN, SHOTGUN, SHOTGUN!" A blur of red streaked to the car. It was Grell Sutcliff, who began pulling on the passenger side door. William raised an eyebrow, hoping that the door was locked.
Before he could shout at Grell, another Shinigami seized Grell around the waist and shoved him out of the way. "Sorry Senpai," Ronald Knox said with a grin, "looks like you're getting in the backseat."
Grell pouted but wriggled his way into the back of the car. As Ronald and Grell made themselves comfortable, William adjusted the rear view mirror. Sitting in the backseat beside Grell was Undertaker. When he noticed William staring at him in the mirror, he waved.
"How did you get back there?" William demanded.
"I slipped in while those two were fighting," Undertaker said as though it was the obvious answer.
"But where – ?" William forgot his question to Undertaker and looked around at the three of them. All three looked eager for him to start the car and go. "Who said you three could come along?"
"We're not leaving so you'd better start the car~" Grell said playfully.
Against his better judgment, William did just that. The sound of the car starting was not as loud as he thought. His three "companions" seemed excited. In fact, Grell was positively bouncing in the backseat. One withering look from William stopped Grell's bouncing.
They rode in silence for a few minutes. William kept looking over his shoulder, sure Grell was going to do something to irritate him. To his surprise, Ronald was the first to grow bored. He began pushing buttons. First he rolled down the window. The rushing wind blew his hair around, annoying Ronald. Grell, however, liked the cool breeze and stuck his face closer to the window.
Ronald, not noticing this, rolled up the window. At once, Grell began to whimper and fuss. "Ronald, you just rolled my hair in the window!" he shouted, attempting to both free himself and pummel Ronald at the same time. As he struggled, several strands of red hair broke free and dangled from the window.
Ronald began apologizing profusely and unrolled the window. Once Grell was free, he rolled it back up.
"Do not do that again!" William shouted as he stopped at a stoplight.
Ronald apologized to William this time, his attention now on the radio. He studied the blue lit display screen. When he noticed a particular button, he said, "Aha!" and pulled a small electronic device from his pocket.
"I thought I confiscated that!" William said as the light turned green.
"I bought another," Ronald said with a shrug. He plugged his iPod into the radio and the sounds of loud rock music drifted through the speakers. William glared at Ronald, who grinned sheepishly and changed the music. The little device was now playing techno pop.
"Ooh, I like that! Turn it up!" Grell said, swinging his head as he danced in his seat, his red hair flying every which way. Undertaker joined his dance, giggling as he did.
"Turn it down!" William shouted. He gripped the steeling wheel hard, growing more and more frustrated every passing minute. Driving for the first time was bad enough but with loud, grating music playing through the speakers made it worse. He was ready to throw the three of them out of the tiny windows of the car and not care whether or not they landed safely.
It also did not help that now Grell and Undertaker were both beating him with their hair. "If you do not stop that nonsense, I swear I will cut your hair off!" he shouted.
Grell immediately stilled, knowing that William would go through with that threat. Undertaker continued to laugh as he placed his hands on William's shoulders.
"Quite uptight, aren't we~?" he asked, digging his black nails into William's shoulders.
William glared at him in the mirror and shrugged his hands off. He pulled over to the side of the road and took out his ledger again. He wanted to check the address and make sure he was right. To him, the best course would be to park in front of the man's house and wait for him to die. It would beat driving around with a loud iPod playing in his ears.
Thankfully, he was only a few blocks away. Maneuvering the car back on the road, William did not see the little squirrel run out in front of him. He did, however, hear a nasty crunch.
"Will!" Grell cried out. "You hit the squirrel!"
William was nearing the end of his rope. "It was just a tree rat!" he snapped. He huffed and then turned the car sharply. The tires squealed, causing him to wince at the sound. It was even louder than Ronald's music.
Grell, Ronald, and Undertaker exchanged bewildered looks with each other. It was not like William to lose his temper. "Will?" Grell began softly, reaching forward and placing a hand on William's shoulder. "Do you need to stop somewhere? Take a break maybe?"
"I want to get this done," William snapped. Grell withdrew his hand immediately.
Remarkably, the three interlopers were quiet. William began to calm down. He was nearly there. Then a commotion began in the backseat. Undertaker started it by "getting in my space" as Grell put it. They shoved each other, rocking the small vehicle as William drove.
"Stay on your side!" Grell demanded.
"I'm no more on your side than you are mine!" Undertaker shot back.
William turned around, not bothering to look where he was going. "If you two do not shut up I will reap you myself!" he snapped.
All four shot forward with a sudden jolt as the car struck something much larger than a squirrel. William stopped the car, turned it off, and stepped outside.
He had hit a man who had been jogging down the small side road. Despite the blood covering his face, William felt like he had seen the man before. He removed his ledger from his suit jacket and felt a hint of crazy laughter trying to bubble forth. The man was Jaime Thompson.
"Well what do you know?" he said, more to himself than anyone else. "Cause of death: motor vehicle."
He sliced the dying man open with his death scythe and reviewed his Cinematic Record. With no further notes, he marked the papers in his ledger as Completed and slipped behind the wheel again.
He put the car in reverse and started to back up so he could turn around. Grell, sensing that William was a lot more calm with his assignment complete, said, "You know, that wasn't too bad Will. And I think we have enough time to make a quick trip to the mall. What do you say?"
William did not say anything. The only response Grell received with a loud groan as William dropped his head against the steering wheel.