Hating Half of Him

Two confessions, one screw up and Marinette leaving the country was all it took for Adrien to figure out she was secretly Ladybug all along. Not that he could do much about it now. One year and multiple reveals later, Adrien, Alya, Nino, Nathaniel and Chloé have got this superhero best friends thing down. That is until Ladybug returns to Paris and they have to decide just how they are going to tell her the truth about what they know. The problem? Her identity is one secret that Marinette refuses to let go.

NB: This fic is canon divergent after Season 1, but will allude to some events in Season 2 so read at your own risk :)

Prologue

"I love you."

Ladybug and Chat Noir were sat together at the top of the Eiffel Tower. It had become their favourite place to hang out after they had finished patrolling the city together. They loved seeing the spread of the city below them, especially late at night like this when the moon was bright, and the lights were shining. Paris was more beautiful than they had ever seen it. As if it knew that this was the last time Ladybug was going to see it. At least for a little while.

Chat Noir wasn't looking at the view though. His eyes were solely on the girl beside him, with her hair blowing wild around her face in the wind and the excitement evident in her face as she pointed out various landmarks or gushed over how small the people and the cars and buildings were from up there. A smile ghosted his lips, knowing that if she were leaving, he would have to memorise the way she looked at that moment and hold on to that memory until the day she returned to him.

"Chaton?" Ladybug asked, turning her head and gazing at him with those bright blue eyes of hers. The words just tumbled from his lips before he could stop as he regarded her with sincerity.

"I know you think I'm always joking and messing around with it, but I do love you. I have done ever since we met all those years ago."

It wasn't often that it was just the two of them now. Papillon had been defeated over a year ago now, and Nooroo and the Butterfly Miraculous were taking a well-deserved break in the box in Nino's care. They had done it with the help of their team, Queen B, La Paon, Rena Rouge and Carapace. Chat Noir loved them all to pieces, but he would never be able to deny that he missed the days when it was just Ladybug and him – the ultimate team. Moments, when they could just be alone like this, were so precious to him.

"Chat… I…"

Ladybug wasn't leaving forever, and he knew that. She had been vague on the details, as a part of her determination to hide her identity from the others. He just knew that she would be gone for about a year because she was studying abroad and Chat had been encouraging her to go, knowing from the look on her face when she spoke about it just how much it meant to her. Paris would be safe with him and the others, and she could stretch her wings a little without the responsibility. But he was going to miss her, and his heart was aching with just the thought of her going somewhere he couldn't follow.

"I'm in love with someone else,"

Those blue eyes filled with so much sympathy as she spoke the words that sent a knife through Chat Noir's heart. It wasn't something he was expecting – rejection, sure, but this was an apology. It meant he wasn't as good as someone else, that the woman who had all this trust and love and support had put that into someone else. That she valued someone else more, even after all they had been through together. He bit back the tears that began to sting his eyes and nodded, putting on the smile that he knew she loved.

"I get it," he said, because what was the point of her being sad about it. Ladybug was allowed to like someone else, and he knew that he shouldn't feel entitled to her affections. It was his problem to sort out now, not hers. She deserved to be happy, regardless of who it was with.

"He doesn't know though," she blurted out as if that was going to make it any better. "This is the last time I'm going to see him as well at the party I'm supposed to be at right now, and then he will probably forget all about me while I'm away."

"How could anyone forget you, M'lady," Chat Noir said quietly, "You should tell him you know? You don't have a lot of time left and then maybe you will have something to return for?"

"Oh, Chaton." Ladybug reached for his hand, which he took and brought to his lips to kiss, "I already have something to return for."

Those words were so full of promise and hope, but they rang hollow on his broken heart. They bid farewell to each other soon after with a tight hug and a lingering stare. Ladybug had laughed because she loved the fact that they were both returning to a party and he loved her even more for it. Chat had watched her fly away from him, swinging from building to building and he sighed, knowing now that he just had to figure out how to let her go.

"I love you."

It felt as if their entire school was crammed into Nino's house for their last hurrah before everyone went their separate ways to University or College or, as in Marinette's case, New York for a once in a lifetime fashion apprenticeship with Adrien's father's company. They were all so proud of her.

Adrien honestly wanted to do anything but return to the party after he had left Ladybug. His nerves were frayed, and he felt sensitive. It was too loud, too crowded, and all he wanted to do was go home and curl up on his bed with ice cream and reality tv for a few hours. The tension built up inside of him, the desire to escape strong, so when Marinette pulled him aside a little after midnight – Adrien was ready to snap.

"Marinette?"

They were stood in Nino's bedroom, Marinette's cheeks flushed as she looked at the floor, Nino's music faintly thudding in the background. The words had spilt from Marinette's lips the moment they were alone. How dare she choose now to tell him.

"I just had to tell you," Marinette stuttered, not able to make eye contact with him the way she used to, "before I left. I… just had to make sure that you knew."

Adrien could tell by the way she flinched when she finally managed to look at his face, that his expression had turned cold.

"You don't think I realised that you fancied me?" he said, his tone harsher than he would have wanted, "it took you so long to even talk to me like a normal human being. You love the idea of being with me, just like everyone else that I've ever met. That isn't 'love'. That's obsession, and I am sick of it."

"You don't have to love me back," Marinette said quietly, wrapping her arms around her stomach. She was visibly shaking, biting back tears.

"I know what love is," Adrien snapped at her, "trust me, Marinette, whatever you feel isn't what I do."

Taking that as a cue, Marinette ran out of the room. Adrien took a second to compose himself before he followed her out, realising the minute the door had shut after her that that had been an awful thing to say to her. Ladybug would have been ashamed of him, Mari was his friend after all. He cared for her, and now he had ruined her last few hours in Paris. He didn't know he had it in him to be so mean.

Adrien left the room calling out Marinette's name. Downstairs, the party had continued – the music distractingly loud, drowning him out, and the drinks flowed freely among the other guests. Nino and Alya stood to one side talking quietly, their expressions subdued. They looked up as he walked over to them, Nino shaking his head. The disappointment was evident, and that added a whole new layer of hurt and guilt to the feelings Adrien already had.

"She's gone bro, her parents picked her up," he said. Adrien flopped against the wall next to them, leaning close so he could hear what Nino was saying, "what did you do?"

Adrien sighed, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. Marinette had left. Ladybug had left. They had both gone far away to places where he wasn't supposed to follow now. Ladybug had probably confessed to the person she loved at the party she was supposed to be at, on his advice. Marinette was going to be getting a plane later that night to a far-off country, and he wasn't even going to get the chance to apologise because she was going to be leaving for a year. Ladybug had looked so beautiful, the wind blowing through her pigtails like that. Marinette's hair had looked windswept when she had spoken to him earlier, and her heartbreak shone through those eyes of her - the bright blue that was just so much like Ladybug's eyes. Marinette had just left a party after being rejected by the person she confessed to, hours after he had encouraged Ladybug to confess her love. Adrien's head was swimming, Marinette and Ladybug's images become mixed up in his mind, and he frowned, trying to sort it out in his mind.

"Adrien?" Alya touched his shoulder gently, and he turned to look at the two of them in horror.

"I've fucked up," he said, "I have really, really, fucked up."