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Salted Pickles

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Celebrating the return of badass Sasuke! The Avenger was spending far too long as a good guy; I was hoodwinked into believing that his fangs had dulled… I'm glad I'm wrong. Time for one final showdown between the soul brothers… looking forward to Chapter 693!

Summary: Even agents of destruction possess something worth preserving.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Warning: All hazardous activities are performed by trained ninja who have long histories of surviving deadly scenarios through sheer coolness. So unless you are a ninja or are otherwise blessed with invincibility, PLEASE DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

This is (sort of) intended as a companion fic to 'Rotten Tomatoes' (hence the weird name); but this can be read as a stand-alone as well.

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"Do you know why pickles are stored in salt, Sasuke-kun?"

Clan matriarch Uchiha Mikoto smiled indulgently at her youngest son, stifling a small chuckle at his scrunched-up thoughtful face. Lazy afternoons like this were rare; Mikoto had no Clan meetings and Sasuke was, for once, taking a break from 'training'.

Sasuke pondered the matter with surprising tenacity for a four year old, but then again, his love for tomatoes, and by extension, tomato pickles, was not something to be underestimated. Predictably, after brainstorming for a few minutes, the second son of the Clan head gave up with a whining pout. Sasuke always hated not knowing; it made him feel inadequate. Really, Mikoto shook her head, Sasuke had such high expectations of himself for a child his age.

"See" she began demonstrating, "You fry the tomatoes in the pan, add seasoning, and then put them in salt water. That way, you can preserve the pickles so they don't get spoilt."

Sasuke followed the explanation with great seriousness, but it seemed to provide more confusion than clarity. The raven-haired child fumbled adorably with unfamiliar words. "Pre…perser..ve?"

"It means to protect them and keep them safe and tasty for a long, long time. Doesn't Sasuke-kun also have so many things he wishes to preserve?"

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The Uchiha Avenger stared dispassionately at a thin glass canister, filled with shimmering silvery liquid which frothed and roiled as if straining against the transparent barrier. At the bottom, a small quantity of suspicious unidentifiable sediment formed, seemingly unaffected by the no-doubt-dangerous liquid encompassing it.

Compared to the other items in that hell-hole of a laboratory, the canister and its contents seemed downright innocuous; but, as with all things concerning the snake-sannin, appearances were deceptive (except his appearance, of course. Orochimaru was just as slimy and twisted as he appeared, if not more).

If one looked very, very closely (something definitely not recommended, unless one was suicidal), the observer would notice the tiny chakra-repelling seal at the bottom of the canister. If one gathered the courage to tap the sides of the beaker, a metallic twing would prove that the glass was reinforced with a transparent diamond-coat that could deflect everything from steel shuriken to flaming katon. In fact, nothing short of cursed seal techniques could put so much as a scratch on the curved surface, if one were willing to go so far for a sample of the unknown (possibly radioactive, probably corrosive, definitely toxic) substance.

Sasuke's omnipotent eyes followed the deceptively thin vial to the equally tapered hands that delicately cradled the dangerous substance, stirring the concoction in slow, steady circles. Orochimaru was oozing satisfaction, clearly pleased with the outcome of his latest bizarre research.

Sensing the Avenger's interest, third Hokage's deviant disciple was more than happy to explain. Adopting a suitably patronizing tone, the snake sannin proceeded to enlighten those lacking the gifts of intellectual brilliance and unconventional thinking (though in Sasuke's case, it might be plain disinterest).

"It is liquefied platinum, Sasuke-kun, mixed with a precise dosage of mercuric acid. Platinum is one of the least reactive metals in the world... Combined in such a manner, this liquid will remain intact for more than 200 years, and will corrode any flesh that comes in contact with it, even if the chakra seal erodes." Suspiciously, Orochimaru did not elaborate on what the liquefied platinum housed in its nonreactive depths.

Sasuke doubted that Orochimaru would live than long, especially since the Avenger had already started plotting the snake sannin's demise; yet he reluctantly acknowledged the effort and perseverance behind his 'ingenious' creation. No doubt the questionable combination was borne out of hours and hours of experimentation (probably with a lot of casualties, albeit disposable).

Insane though the snake may be, yet his determination was undeniable. Orochimaru's obsession with eternal life was on par with Sasuke's dedication to his revenge.

Wasn't everything just another step in achieving Orochomaru's ultimate goal of immortality? The snake sannin devoted his entire life to research and experimentation, all to preserve his formidable jutsu knowledge and memories. Betrayal, self-mutilation, sword ingestion, body possession…hardly any of those could be classed as 'enjoyable' activities, after all.

Displeased with the lack of reaction from the blank-eyed Uchiha, the ex-Konoha genius turned to his prized pupil for the desired acknowledgement. Kabuto dutifully adulated the brilliance of the inventive preservative, diplomatically soothing his sensei's ruffled feathers (or scales).

Sasuke snorted. A boot-licker through and through. But he supposed an orphan with no bloodline limit had to ride on another's haori to survive in the cut-throat shinobi world.

At first glance Kabuto may seem to follow the same policy as their demented leader, but his modus operandi was completely different. Kabuto was a power-hungry necro-maniac; his technique was to leech special skills from rotting corpses and make them his own. The silver-haired nin's preservation leaned more towards the physical rather than the intellectual; evidenced by the samples of blood and bone and chakra that populated his private laboratory (Kabuto had his own paradise, separate from Orochimaru's).

Kabuto's aspiration was strength, not immortality. Sasuke understood, since he too longed for the power to defeat his brother and avenge his clan. All in all, Sasuke preferred the silver-haired medic's ambitions to his freakishly pale sensei's method. Better to be invincible in one lifetime and die with honor, than suffer through generation after generation of sickening shinobi politics.

Orochimaru and Kabuto's obsessions only reinforced his belief of the underlying cruelty of existence. Attachment is a human vice; even those of supposedly 'superior' intelligence are not free from it. His 'companions' may vie for twisted objectives that last longer than most other shinobi's desires, but in the end, they also had something they wished to protect; and liquefied platinum was just another form of brine.

…

Even Team Taka were not free of worldly possessiveness, a fact which Sasuke learned through continuous observation during his sojourn as their captain / leader / dictator. Surprisingly, despite his general apathy and stunted interpersonal awareness, he was quite quick to figure his 'comrades' out… or maybe they were just as pathetic in the emotional department as he was.

Forced to tolerate the red-head Uzumaki's clingy coquettish behavior, Sasuke had a front-row seat to Karin's mad delusions. The unwarranted intimacy imposed by the medic-cum-chakra-storehouse made him privy to the innermost workings of her demented brain. Sasuke had heard time and again that all women were incomprehensible, their twisted logic baffling even the sage of six paths. Compared to Sakura and the rest of the crazy girls back at Konoha, Sasuke found Karin's daydreams rather easy to understand (or perhaps the red-head was just a shallow, superficial bitch).

Karin had her own way of preservation, a very girlish (and somewhat disturbing) way, in his opinion. The bipolar red-head kept pictures (mostly of him, all procured without his consent), which she often drooled over.

The picture-hogging was an innocent hobby on its own, but the manic frenzy in which it was conducted and the fanatical adoration that followed left Sasuke questioning the sensibility of allowing the unusual form of affection (violation?) to continue.

In a detached manner, Sasuke couldn't help but notice how most of the pictures were only copies of the same incident. He supposed being Orochimaru's subordinate didn't really give much opportunity for happy memories. Despite his inner sympathy, Sasuke scoffed. Paper was the most easily combustible substance in the shinobi toolkit. Sasuke hoped that Karin's saliva was enough to destroy her horrid pictures someday.

Sasuke had equated Suigetsu's tendency for mindless destruction to a lack of respect for preservation. The water-human-monster-hybrid was a barbarian with no goals or loyalties; Suigetsu simply went along with his mood, doing only what he wanted, usually just for the heck of it.

But apparently even undefinable non-humans were not exempt from materialistic flaws. It struck Sasuke one day how very wrong he was when he saw Suigetsu cleaning his (acquired) swords. Suigetsu might not have much to hoard or cherish, but he treasured the few things that mattered with almost manic fervency (disturbingly like Karin).

Juugo was easy; being the most compassionate of Orochimaru's 'protégées' and filled with disgust for his own freak of nature, Juugo's goal was to protect everyone he could. Pity that his 'protection' involved his maintaining a safe distance from all whom he cared about.

Sasuke sometimes saw Juugo feeding brains or throwing meat to stray dogs; and he couldn't help but marvel at the large man's nurturing streak. For someone with paltry human interaction, especially civil interaction without any attempt at mutilation or murder, Juugo seemed to intuitively pick up on the basics of caring and protecting.

He was definitely much better at human kindness than Sasuke himself, he mused as he ruthlessly disemboweled a few ignorant vagabonds who were foolhardy enough to challenge the Uchiha and his motley crew. Juugo never made his victims suffer, so unlike Sasuke, whose swirling red eyes made them relive their nightmares again and again and again till they were broken not only outside but also inside.

And Sasuke? Despite his faded memories of a black-haired willowy frame with a kind, crinkled face, he kept his mother's soft-spoken words to heart. With the proof of his noble blood spinning sharply in his pale emotionless death-mask of his face, Sasuke painstakingly recorded every important moment of his inglorious life, committing them to eternal memory. He did not care that his sharingan was overused; he let the tears fall, their salty bitterness symbolizing the sacredness of his actions.

People die, and knowledge is forgotten… but his cursed record was proof of existence, and his burden to bear. He had long since closed his heart from feeling of affection for others, especially his old team, but the recollections continued to haunt him, ingrained in his eidetic mind to torture the tiny vestiges of regret that clouded his ambitions.

And so his eyes bled blood, in homage to his family, his victims and himself. Preservation was an addiction, a curse, a pestilence that sapped at one's will, deluding them with wispy dreams of hope, creating a crutch for the strong and lonely, urging them to cling to faded memories of things are gone and can never come back.

He understood why pickles are so bitter; it is because preservation is futile, and painful, and salt water is more potent than any poison.

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Please tell me if you found this too rushed!

Warning 2: All acids, bases, elements, compounds and scientific apparatuses (this is the correct plural, in case you're wondering) are purely a figment of my imagination, and hence their scientific accuracy is unverified. My chemical knowledge is pretty poor… please ignore the Pl + Hg(OAc)2 weirdness. Not sure if they would even react together…

I seem to start all (I've written only two) Sasukefics with a bit of Mikoto….perhaps because I imagine her as Sasuke's greatest source of comfort in the pre-massacre days. Either way, one's childhood experiences go a long way in shaping their future. Plus, baby Sasuke is a bit too cute (and young) for spicy stuff like pickles; but he's a ninja, so he's probably tougher than little ol' sweet-tooth me.

Future fics from yours truly: I'm drafting up a Bleach fanfic now; please look out for it! After that, I plan to get back to the Neji and Hinata angst fics that have been sitting on my laptop for almost three months. And then perhaps I'll summon the courage for a long-envisioned SasuHina… wish me luck!