No one wears white dresses anymore. White is an expensive cloth to come by in Valerya and the expense and trouble to secure enough to make a weeding gown is too much. But not today. Today the princess is getting married, today is for celebrating, today the war is coming to an end.
"Stand still, Ana" my eldest sister, Cat, says from behind me as she struggles with the bodice.
I can hardly breath as it is, the last thing I want is a super tight dress that clings to my curves and makes me feel even more of a ornament to be paraded in front of the people. To be married dutifully is an honor, as the women in court say, but trust me it's a big fat load of crap. Even if my future husband is the so acclaimed Nikolai Lantsov, the bachelor every girl in the kingdom would sell their souls for.
"She looks fine, Cat. Stop fidgeting so much," Ivan watches us from a corner of the room, feet propped up on the table, glass of wine in one hand and the half empty bottle on the other.
My brother hates this marriage almost as much as I do. Cat rolls her soft brown eyes at the mirror and gives the dress on last tug before she turns away. I stand there, looking myself up and down. There's definitely too much skin showing, especially on my back. But I have to endure it, and be paraded in this god awful dress and make up in front of our own people, and the royal family of our country's greatest enemy, the Lantsov family.
Valerya and Dornar have been enemy countries for as long as they have existed. My family, the Starkovs, and Dornar's royal family, the Lantsov's, have been at each other's necks since the dawn of time. War is the only way we know how to live. There has never been peace amongst our two countries.
But today that ends. Today I'm being shipped off to enemy territory, to marry a man I've never met or even seen in real life, a man I'm expected to put up with, if not love, for the rest of my life, a man I'm supposed to give children to. And those Lantsov children will marry Starkov princesses and princes and so on, so that we can assure peace in the kingdoms for years to come.
But my family has a different plan.
Ivan gets up from the chair and strolls to my side, eyes locked on mine through the mirror. He has our mother's hair, like my every other sibling, a rich brown, with the occasional copper streak. His eyes are a deep chocolate, but I see the fire within them. The same fire that runs in my veins, the same fire that will get me through this and help me survive. He puts a hand to my bare shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze.
His other hand goes in his back pocket and produces a small knife, with a leather band attached to it. He passes it to me and bends down to give me a kiss on the cheek.
"Good luck sister, you know what to do" he whispers softly before turning away and leaving me alone in the room.
I press my thumb to the hilt of the knife. If everything goes accordingly, this thing will be buried deep in Nikolai Lantsov's heart before the night is done. I bend down, pick up the layers of my dress, and tie the leather strap around my thigh. I make sure it's secure enough so it doesn't fall out during the ceremony - wouldn't that be a sight - but so that no one can notice it's there when I walk or sit.
I square my shoulders and look at myself one last time. Out of my eight siblings, I am the only one who resembles our father. My black hair looks like silk and is ornamented with little white pins and tiny flowers, and my eyes, a greenish blue, are cold and fierce and determined. Today I'm getting married. Today I'm ending the war. Today I'm killing my husband and avenging my mother and my country.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have not seen Valerya's people so happy in my life. Because of the war, the life in our country has been gloomy, sad, marked by destruction and pain and endless grieving. But today the streets are full of music and food and laughter. People are dancing and hugging each other and waving at my carriage as I pass by. As much as I hate my situation, I can't help but keep the smile from reaching my face. It feels good to see our people in such high spirits. It's refreshing.
We ride west, from the castle through the town and the market to the harbor that lies in the far side of the capital. That's where the ceremony will be held, in a large green field by the sea. I take one last look behind me, at the rock fortress that has been my home for the past 18 years. I grit my teeth and take a deep breath.
As we arrive, the sun is starting to set, the big orange ball almost touching the blue horizon. We come to a stop in a pathway flanked by hight trees, and there's candlelight hanging from every other branch. If I wasn't so nervous I would stop and admire the whole beauty of it. I can hear people and music in the distance, followed by the occasional laugh. Everyone's already here.
My brothers and sisters get off of their carriages and begin strolling through the pathway into the ceremony while Father gets off of his horse and starts giving instructions to one of the service boys. Ivan stays behind and approaches me carefully. There's sadness in his eyes, reluctance, revulsion in giving his baby sister away to the enemy. But there's no pity. Never pity.
"I'm fine, I can do this" I tell him, and I will my voice not to break.
"I know," he says, a small smile playing on a corner of his mouth "You were always the strongest, you know that? That's why you're my favorite."
I chuckle at that, and put my arms out for him to hug me. He does, and he locks me in his arms with such force I'm afraid I'll actually stop breathing.
"If anything goes wrong, just send for me. I will come to you, no matter what or when or where. I love you, Annie. Always." he kisses my forehead before pulling away and giving me a smile. He hasn't called me Annie since I was five. As Father walks in my direction, he bows his head and heads in for the ceremony.
"Are you ready?" the king asks me. I nod, and put my hand in the crook of his elbow. We walk in complete silence, both looking straight ahead. I feel my heart thumping with every step I take towards the damned altar.
Just before we reach clearance where everyone is, Father whispers softly "Don't forget your duties, Anastasia. Always remember your country, your people and your family. And above all, remember that I'm proud of you. Carry us all in your heart tonight."
I nod fiercely and try not to blink to prevent the tears from falling. This is it. The music has stopped, and there's a new melody being played. As we come into view, everyone at the gathering stands up and looks at us.
Half of Dornar has come, as well as half of Valerya. There's so many people I can't even begin to try to see all the faces. The lowest Houses are the seated at the back, so they're the closest to us as we walk in. On the right there are people I recognize, Valeryan nobles and highlords, generals and commanders and ministers. On the left are strangers, Dornar's people, the enemy.
As we stride through the rows I can distinguish the people near the altar. On the right side my are relatives, and on the first row my siblings face's come in to view. They are all solemn, from the eldest to the youngest. They understand what this marriage means. Starkovs are not foolish. On the left stand what I presume is the Lantsov family. The king and queen stand on the inner side, and next to them is the eldest son, Aleksander.
Although he is the eldest, he renounced to the throne the minute he decided to become the high general of the king's guard. So he can never be married, bare no children, and can never rule. The throne was then passed to the younger brother, Nikolai. Sobachka, some call him. Puppy.
My eyes stray from the Lantsov to the altar, where the high priest is standing. And next to him, dressed in a formal black military gown, with medals on his chest and a sword at his hip, stands my worst nightmare.
I give it you, he is good looking. Handsome, even. His golden hair is a stark contrast against his black uniform and the minute I look at his icy blue eyes I find them staring right back at me.
My father leads me up a few steps and we come to a stop in front of the altar. He kisses me on the forehead, and places my hand on Nikolai's outstretched one. As he turns and leaves I'm frozen in my spot by those hellish deep blue eyes that seem to be bored into my soul. I want to look away but I can't. His hand is soft and warm but I can sense the stiffness in his back, his perfect jaw clenching, the look of defiance behind those blonde locks. The same look I saw in the mirror not long ago.
I have to kill him tonight. Or maybe he'll kill me first.