I simply stood there, panting, as the unearthly light that had swept out from me so soon ago began to sink back into the abyss from where it had come.
What sort of macabre change had come upon me? If appearance were any indicator, my demeanor as a Poochyena had grown unmistakably more vicious. The shaggy fur on my back and legs had grown into a wild riot of glossy black, and the rest had become no tamer. My eyes had turned from a glowing yellow to a startling blood red, black-and-grey patches of mortifying terror had appeared; every part of my body had become alarmingly feral. Was this truly natural, or had I become a freak, a mistake of nature itself?
Clueless as I felt, I had always possessed a memory for the oral teachings of my old pack, and my mind immediately registered what would happen now; and I truly feared, for the first time in my life. I would soon be prone to the desires of my species, and these were ghastly desires indeed.
A mounting wave of fear and panic rose within me, and I fought with my emotions to increasing failure. What would I do? Where would I go, now that my innocence was obliterated? I had dreaded this moment for all my life, ever since I had learnt of its horror and grisliness, I could not possibly believe it was finally happening, now, in this supposedly triumphant moment –
It was as if a dam opened inside my body, and a flood of wild thought rushed through me, drowning everything else, shutting out all thought and feeling. My vision sharpened, my hearing elevated to astounding heights, my scenting had done the same, and every muscle in my body felt perfectly, brutally adept, as my mind was deluged in a wave of intoxicating fog.
I was ready for the kill.
I padded silently but quickly past the oaken homes of slumbering creatures, and I knew nothing then, except that every particle of my body hungered to devour the first Pokèmon that came my unfortunate way. Morality was for fools who abhorred feeding themselves; they had never tasted the warm blood of their rightful prey, and they were truly foolish to never seek it. What matter was it that I was incomplete? The life of another, the very intensity of the hunt, would bring me wholeness, this much I was sure of.
I sensed something stirring near my right – a plump, purple rodent, perfect for the hunt. With a silver flash, I was almost upon the Rattata, and it was a miracle that it managed to dart out of my way. I no longer had any restraint, any remorse, any pity for my victims; as adrenaline coursed through my body, no kindly feeling had any chance of fighting it. I jumped over a log as it scurried to the right, I put a burst of speed in response to the intensity, the Rattata neared and neared… and it was all over within half a minute – ecstasy, wholeness, filled me as I sank my fangs into its warm flesh, lost in the pounding thrill.
As the last piece of flesh stripped itself from the rodent, the explosion of adrenaline inside me began to die out, and I was lost only in the aftermath of the paradise, content now to walk lazily through the undergrowth. And yet, as my senses returned to normal and my mind cleared, another voice rose in me, small but defiant.
Was this truly wholeness? Was this truly bliss, was this truly heaven that was throbbing through me at the very instant? But I knew the answer even before I asked the question. This was nothing like joy, this sickening drug that poisoned me further day and night. This was merely an awkward collision between a mighty star and a puny planet, one which took everything from both and gave nothing in return. I felt hollower than ever, now, that I had succeeded in my attempt at entirety, yet failed more spectacularly than possible. I knew then that this was a taint, rather than a blessing, and that I would never be free of it.
This was the taint of bloodthirst.