What happens when Snape's farted?
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Snape's Fart
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"
"What in Merlin's name—"
"Run for your lives!"
The trio stood confused, looking at everyone around them. All were struggling to leave the corridor that lead to the bathrooms.
'What the hell? Is Voldemort here already?'
'The bathroom's with spiders?'
'Someone got an F?'
"Harry! Ron! Hermione!" Someone shouted! They spun around, and came face to face with the most horrendous potato—I mean, wizard they have ever seen.
Neville.
Naked Neville.
"Bloody hell, Neville!" Ron shouted, covering his eyes in an instant. Hermione had grabbed Harry's glasses and smacked it onto her eyes.
"Hey!" Harry shouted indignantly. He couldn't see a thing now, and he started to walk, his hand groping everywhere.
"What the hell happened? Who turned off the lights?" Harry asked, annoyed. His hands continued to look for his glasses.
"Neville! Why… are… you like that?!" Hermione shrieked as she looked at the now blurry form of Neville.
'Harry must've had poor eyesight.'
"Put some clothes on, mate!" Ron shouted, his hands never leaving his face.
"I—I can't! They're not with me! Something's happened!" Neville said desperately. Harry was now patting Neville's hair with his hands…he still couldn't see a thing.
'Ahh… poor boy.'
"What!? What the bloody hell happened?!"
"Snape! He's—Oohhh.." Hermione eyes widened with the sound Neville had made and Ron, curious, took of his hands away from his eyes.
"What the hell? What's this I'm holding.. Something hard…" And Neville continued to make guttural noises as Harry continued to stroke that 'something.'
All hell froze. Hermione and Ron stood frozen, their eyes saucer-like.
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.
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"What the fuck, Merlin's FUCK! Potter's giving Longbottom a handjob!" Someone shouted behind them.
Draco Malfoy.
The ever so sexy Slytherin Sex God.
Harry stood frozen, his hands stopped dead. But Neville, apparently, seemed oblivious to this fact.
"Oh Harry…" Neville purred, his eyes closed.
Everything seemed to freeze at that very moment, except for Neville who was feeling euphoric. Everything was eerie quiet when…
"STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE! I COME IN PEACE!" Harry had been sure it was Voldemort.
'Oh wait… did he say he comes in peace?'
Everyone, as if, triggered by the voice, came back to their senses. It was Snape, who was in a ballerina costume, his hands aloft before him. He looked very relieved and happy, like he had done something very successful.
He started dancing all around them, his moves showered with grace and beauty. He was wearing very tight leggings, that his erection…ahem… was quite visible.
"Is that banana in his pants?"
"Oh look! He's gone Hardy!"
Snape continued to dance, and suddenly, nobody knew what had happened, but fireworks started to explode behind Snape. All in different colors of pink, carnation pink, fuchsia pink, and shocking pink.
And soon after the show, 2 people, also in tight leggings, and erections visible, came from the crowd, to join Snape. It was Harry and Draco. And they began singing the Barney Emo Song.
"I love you, you hate me...
You're in love but not with me.
Now my heart is scattered into pieces because of you,
When will I be happy too?"
Nobody had said a word after the presentation.
Suddenly, everyone broke into applause. There were tears in all of their eyes. Hermione was blowing her nose, while Ron clapped with deepest astonishment as tears also, started to slide down his cheeks. Lavender and Parvati started crying too, while Dean and Seamus, affected greatly by this presentation, began to kiss each other.
And they started singing again. Their hairy legs, showing once in a while when they jump very high, their hands aloft.
"It's OK to be Gay
Let's Rejoice with the Boys
In the Gay Way!
Hooray for the
Kind of Man
That you will find
In the Gay Way!"
By this time, Cedric Diggory and Blaise Zabini were snogging and Theodore Nott, along with Crabbe and Goyle was doing a threesome. Finally, Ron was fed up and was terribly horny, and ran over to Neville…
"Neville!" He ran to him, stretching his hands apart.
"Ron!" Neville exclaimed and began running to his new found love.
"Neville!"
"Ron!"
And their lips met, hands groping each—
And Ginny Weasley woke up, sweating very hard. She looked at the people around her. They had all fallen asleep during their Potions Class. She was the first one to wake up, and then came her Muggle-born friend, Anna.
"Wha haffen?" Anna asked her drowsily, she began tapping the boy beside her, trying to wake him up.
"I don't know… the last thing I remembered was smelling something foul, like a…… fart."
"Oh look Pansy, there's something on the floor." Daphne pointed, picking the small scrap of paper near the Boy's bathroom. Apparently, they were tasked by McGonagall to pick trashes as a part of their detention.
"What's it says Daphne?" Pansy asked impatiently, totally hating her detention. Daphne, however, stopped dead; looking bewildered, but then started to laugh. Daphne showed the piece of paper to Pansy, laughing very hard. As Pansy read the piece of parchment, she also started to laugh, and both did not stop… not until they head a very low sound… a fart to be exact, coming from the bathroom.
In horror, Daphne and Pansy started to run, dropping the paper, and heading out of the corridor.
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"
"What in Merlin's name—"
"Run for your lives!"
Severus, really, you need to have a solution to that constipation problem of yours. Try going to Poppie and asking for a Constipation potion.
-Albus
Fin
Apparently, I got really bored, coz there's not internet. If you don't like it, it's okay. If you think it's corny, it's ayt. But if I made you laugh, then I made a good deed once again! (LOL)
Result of Boredom.