Hello, everyone! I am Flameboo. I just wanted to add my slice of Contestshipping to the section! I hope you enjoy, and reviews are always a treat.
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Drew's Dilemma
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One simply spectacular day in Hoenn, Drew was strolling down a cobblestone pathway. Birds sang, flowers grew, the sun shone— frankly, it was just a wonderful moment to be alive, and Drew usually didn't feel this way. He was a rather melancholy person, mainly because he constructed himself to be one. After all, no one got any action in Hoenn if you weren't contrary in some way.
So, Drew continued to walk down this simply glorious path, whistling Mozart's Violin Concerto No. 3, although he changed it to E minor, just to be rebellious. He giggled to himself. What a stupendous idea.
Yet, disaster stuck!
Suddenly, who of all people but May Maple leapt out from behind a flowering cherry tree, wielding a very large shotgun at Drew's head!
Drew's blood simply boiled, so he turned his stove temperature down to five in order to not let his bodily fluids overcook. He really didloathe May. It all started when they were young, and the girl had blown him a raspberry when he was practicing for his first contest— it was devastating. There had been a terrible vendetta ever since.
Yet now he was at a disadvantage. Therefore, he 'played it cool'. "Oh…um, hello, May," he said blankly, stepping back from the shotgun. "Fancy meeting you here."
"Don't give me that!" she snarled back, jerking the barrel at his chest. "You knew I was going to be here! You knew…"
"No, I really didn't. Honest. I was actually going to the movies. On a date. To see Bitterly Tom."
The girl narrowed her eyes at him questioningly before lowering the gun, nodding. "Bitterly Tom, eh? That new slasher movie? Going on a date?"
"Um, yeah." He checked his imaginary watch quickly. "Look, I'm late. I really need to go. Maybe we can talk about this later—"
"NO!" May snapped up the gun again, saying, "I've caught you to settle something that's been annoying me for a long time!" She paused dramatically. "Our RELATIONSHIP."
"May," he said tiredly, "we have none. We hate each other."
"Shut up! And I don't mean our real relationship— I mean the one people think that we have! Those people write about us doing both very fluffy and erotic things!" she scowled and pointed a finger at you, the very reader. You gasped and hid your face in shame, shedding tears of guilt. "See? I know what you people are doing. I hope that you're happy."
Drew raised a green eyebrow. "So…if you're mad at the people who think we're in love, than why did you threaten me with a shotgun?"
"Well, we can't have fictional love if one of the people in the shipping is dead!" She laughed manically, throwing back her head in mirth. "Aren't I brilliant?"
"No, you're insane. Now let me go, and you won't be charged with manslaughter and first degree murder."
"Never!" She cocked the gun and began poking it at Drew's nose, sneering. "Goodbye, Drew!"
The boy frowned, his melancholy mind working quickly. "May, wait. I have something to tell you before I die. Something…that I've been hiding for a long, long time."
She stopped poking his nose, cocking her head.
"I think you're the most beautiful girl in the world, and I love you."
May's jaw dropped, but she promptly picked it up from the ground and reattached it again. "You…you love me?" She lowered the gun, Drew breathing a sigh of relief. Her eyes welled with tears. "Oh, Drew, I love you too—"
BOOM.
A sniper bullet hit May directly behind the earlobe, killing her instantly. Drew stumbled back from corpse in horror, both relieved and a tad disturbed. He had been saved…but where had the faithful bullet come from?
To answer his question, a young woman appeared seemingly from nowhere, toting a large sniper rifle on her right shoulder. Drew gasped in delight. It was none other than Soledad, fellow Coordinatorand his date for the night!
"Soledad," he exclaimed, "I thought you were at the movies! How did you know that I was in danger?"
Soledad tossed her rifle away as a bird pooped on May's dead body. "Well, I just assumed that May would crack sometime, as she always seemed quite unstable. Plus, with all of those readers writing about you and her in love—" she narrowed her eyes at you, the reader. You cringed under her glare. "— I just thought that killing her off would help our relationship more, considering there's bound to be rumors of affairs and one-night stands."
Drew nodded. "That's a good point. Thanks a lot, Soledad. You really saved my life."
Soledad's heart fluttered, resulting in her stumbling around, gasping for breath, and hacking up blood. Once that was over, she batted her eyelashes and held out her hand. "Hold hands with me, Drew? We can still catch the next movie."
The boy indeed held her hand. "Sure thing."
The two young lovers walked off into the sunset, because dusk decided that it would switch things up a bit, and make the day incredibly short. Birds continued to sing, more flowers grew, more birds pooped on May, and the sun dipped below the horizon.
In essence, it was an earth-shattering day.
The earth shattered at once, killing everyone.
LE FIN.
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Well, I didn't lie, now did I? There was Contestshipping!
Oh, and I'm terribly sorry if I had all of the character's personalities wrong-- I haven't seen the anime since I was 7. I mean, I meant to tweak May…but I apologize if Drew and Soledad are way off. Oh! Speaking of them, is there a shipping yet? If not, then I dub it…Snipershipping. DO NOT QUESTION ME.
This is not meant to offend anyone who writes Contestshipping, or any shipping at all.
-Flameboo
P.S- If you feel the need to condemn me, go ahead, but know that you'll get a good, hard spanking if you do so.
Ta-ta for now!