Authors note: This is just a fun little one shot I wanted to do in my spare time. My Warhammer crossover story will be updated eventually, I have college crap to do and I need to figure out what to do with the next chapter. This little one shot should entertain you guys for a brief moment so I can get my stuff back together and maybe, just maybe, I'll make a sequel on the crossover based on this story if enough people like it. Other than that, I hope you enjoy this.
The Warp.
If there is anything in the galaxy that could come as close as a living hell, the Warp would definitely be it. The source of all psychic powers along with what people consider "magic" and "sorcery" all comes in this alternate dimension of hell and just like hell, it is inhabited by creatures that are fear and evil incarnate, ranging from simple warp beasts, to corrupted and damned souls of mortals, to terrifying daemons that could strike fear at their mere mention. Of course, the Warp would not be complete without its Dark Gods that inhabit this realm.
Khorne, the blood god and the lord of skulls, is the Chaos God of blood, war and murder, who gains his powers through every act of killing or murder that occurs in the material universe, the more senseless and destructive the better. Slaanesh, the Dark Prince, the Prince of Pleasure, is the Chaos God of pleasure, passion, and decadence, who gains his power through the desires of those in the material universe, mostly from the desires of inflicting pain upon another. Tzeentch, the Changer of Ways, is the Chaos God of change, evolution, intrigue, and sorcery, who gains his power through intricate plotting and scheming new ideas and enacting them. Nurgle, the Plague Lord, is the Chaos God of disease, decay, and destruction, who gains his powers through disease and death that occurs in the material universe.
While there is more to these gods than just that, the common belief is that these gods are the most terrifying beings to exist in our galaxy, spreading fear and terror and fueling the essence of Chaos across the galaxy, Bill Cipher didn't see the Dark Gods that way.
In fact, seeing poor souls screaming out in pain by daemons torturing them for sick pleasure, blood constantly spilt and flowing through the soil, the stench of death and decay from the piles of rotting corpses, the Warp was the happiest place in the galaxy for Bill. He would occasionally visit the Warp merely for R&R or if he was just bored of the mortal realm he wanders. As for the Dark Gods, while Bill preferred to create and follow his own beliefs since he was never created by anyone of these Gods, he had a deep respect for the Dark Gods and even looks up to them for inspiration for his plans. He would usually take the time to go say hi and annoy the Dark Gods about his exploits, but now was not the time to say hi.
Two factors came into play for this situation, the first was that the Dark Gods were busy fighting each other in their eternal war for dominance in the Warp, more so than usual, and since many of their servants were busy with their Dark Crusades across the galaxy, more focus was put on their eternal war which made the spread of Chaos more confined to the Warp. The second factor being that Dipper, or Pine tree as Bill liked to call him, is getting too close to figuring out his plans and his last attempt to stop him ended in failure and realizing that Dipper may probably beat him at every step, Bill realized that he would have to take drastic measures.
Bill didn't want it to come to this, especially since this was not his style, but if he wanted his plans would work out in the end, he had to do it. Asking the Dark Gods to do him a solid was out of the question, knowing that they would never listen to what they considered a "lesser being of existence", so he would do the next best thing, ask and old friend. And he knew exactly who to go to. The last time Bill heard of his friend was that he participated in a Dark Crusade that ended up with his friend dying and being resurrected again for a new purpose, a purpose that Bill would give, not the Dark Gods.
As Bill continued to wander the desolate wastelands of the Warp, he was suddenly ambushed by a large figure from behind that tried to slice him in half. Bill dodged the attack and turned to face the figure, it wore power armor with a demonic appearance from head to toe, soaked in blood and wielding two chainaxes as the figure glared at Bill with rage.
"YOUR BLOOD WILL MAKE A GREAT GIFT FOR KHORNE!" Shouted the figure madly as he charged straight towards Bill, swinging his axes wildly.
Every attempt to hit Bill missed as he continued to dodge the attacks of the figure, amused by his feeble attempts to slay him.
"HAHAHAHA! You really don't know who I am, do you pal?" Asked Bill amusingly.
The figure just kept swinging his chainaxes at him, hoping to spill blood from his opponent. As much as Bill wanted to amuse himself, he had to take care of business first, and quickly ended the fight by casting a blue fireball towards the lunatic, causing him to be engulfed in a fiery blaze. As the figure fell to the ground, he began to scream out his last words.
"BLOOD FOR THE-
Before he could finish, Bill threw another fireball at the figure's head, bursting it into burnt chunks.
"Blah, blah, blah, Blood God. I heard that a million times before." Said Bill casually.
Just then, another figure appeared in front of Bill, but it was a more recognizable figure.
The figure reached a height of seven feet tall, wearing larger and bulkier demonic power armor yet somehow could move fluidly in it, wielding a large two handed weapon that had the appearance of a mace, the figure's head did not bear a helmet and showed his grotesque appearance, with pale grey skin and blank white eyes, giving off an intimidating impression that made even the bravest men shiver in fear. He stared at the dead warrior beneath him for a split second before focusing his gaze on Bill, who looked eager to see him.
"Hey buddy! Long time, no see." Said Bill as he floated around the figure, who looked at Bill in disgust.
"You killed my new champion, trickster." Said the figure in a deep and venomous voice, yet surprisingly calm.
"Oh that guy? He started it. Besides, I'm not from the Warp so expect heads to blow up fast." Said Bill as the figure gave him a cold stare.
"Your presence will never be welcome in the Warp." Replied the figure coldly.
"Good to know that you're still the same grump as before, El." Said Bill which made the figure raise his voice.
"That's Eliphas to you, worm." Said Eliphas coldly making Bill roll his eye.
"Sure El, whatever you say." Said Bill sarcastically.
"If you are here to pester me with your meaningless talks to drive me to insanity, I will not hesitate to strike you down." Threatened Eliphas.
Bill just brushed off the threat. "Actually, I'm here for something else. I want to offer you a deal." Which raised Eliphas's suspicion.
"Hmm, do you now?" Asked Eliphas suspiciously.
"I knew that would get your attention. But yeah, good old Bill wants to make a deal. If that doesn't convince you, here!" Bill snapped his fingers, revealing a bloody head. "How about a head that never stops bleeding?" Said Bill as the head began gushing enormous amounts of blood.
Eliphas stepped back slightly to avoid the blood, unfazed by Bill's sudden actions. Bill noticed this and disappointingly made the head disappear with another snap of his fingers.
"You're no fun at all." Said Bill who expected at least a twitch from Eliphas, who was losing his patience.
"Your humor will never faze me, let alone amuse me." Replied Eliphas. "Why have you come here?"
"Like I was saying before…" Bill continued. "I want to offer you something and in return, I need a…" Bill suddenly glowed red and engulfed his eye in blue flame in a split second and shouted "FAVOR!" in his deep and demonic voice.
"What could you possibly want from ME for doing a favor for you?" Asked Eliphas.
"We can work out the details later. What do you say you do an old friend a favor?" Said Bill in his regular voice as he extended his hand, which blazed a blue flame.
Eliphas frowned. "If you think I will become one of your victims, then you must be mistaken for someone else, and I am not your friend."
Bill lowered his eye. "Come on El, you owe me. Don't you remember when we first met?"
Eliphas remembers all too clearly. He was imprisoned in the Basilica of Tortures for yet another failure and was pain was never ending. He thought that escape would be non-existent until Bill appeared. At first, he thought it was another one of the daemons sent to torture him for his past failures, but he could sense that Bill was not from the Warp and offered to help him instead, for something in return of course.
Eliphas glared at Bill "I already paid the debt when you released me from the Basilica of Tortures, trickster. I owe you nothing."
"I let you off easy before. Now, comes the real deal." Replied Bill. "How about you hear me out?"
"Nothing you say will ever get me to serve you, ungrateful whelp." Replied Eliphas as he began to walk away.
Bill then teleported right in front of Eliphas to stop him from going any further. "Ungrateful? If it wasn't for me, you would have been rotting in that hellhole I found you in for all of eternity." Eliphas glared at Bill unconvinced. "And besides, it wasn't your fault that you ended up there."
Eliphas's interests peeked slightly. "How faithful have you been to the Dark Gods? You give sacrifices and new followers daily and show your dedication to them, yet they send you back here to suffer, all because of some Blood Raven guys you keep yapping about."
"It is not the Dark God's fault that I was trapped here." Replied Eliphas angrily.
Bill replied nonchalantly. "Of course not dummy, they're Gods! They have better things to do than to make one person suffer. I'm just saying that you have a bad boss leading you. Seriously, how many times have YOU got in trouble for HIS mistakes? Leaders take responsibilities and he just throws you under the bus not for your incompetence, but for his incompetence instead."
Eliphas did remember how many time his current leader, Lord Abaddon, would have a tendency to punish him for his failures, even though he tried everything to stop his foes, he would get more punishment than a dog and eventually send back in the Warp. Eliphas continued listened intently to Bill.
"I know how faithful you are to the Dark Gods, El. And I know about all of your successes that outnumber your failures, your foes only beat you because of sheer luck. I think it's unfair that someone like you should suffer for other people's mistakes, you're more faithful than any of these other dummies you and I have seen, and I think your faith should be rewarded and recognized, not punished and ignored like Abaddon does to you." Said Bill as Eliphas continued to listen to Bill.
"So here's my offer to you, I want you to work with me for a while." Said Bill.
Now Eliphas was really curious, Bill asking him to serve under him was not something he expected as part of the deal. He knew from there that Bill must be planning something, yet he's not sure what.
"Why would you want me to serve you?" Asked Eliphas curiously.
"All I'll say right now is that I have big plans for something I've been waiting to do for a long time. Since you still owe me and I take pity on you, you would be perfect for this little favor of mine." Replied Bill.
"So I turn my back on the Dark Gods for a lesser being such as yourself?" Asked Eliphas again.
"Actually, you would be doing the opposite. The things I have in mind would please them greatly, I'll let you go as soon as we're done but I guarantee you that you will come back as a champion of Chaos once more. The Dark Gods will see your achievements once more and reward you greatly and you can take credit for everything I've done. They'll even grant you the gift of ascension to a Daemon Prince like you've always wanted." Bill said convincingly. "Chaos and unbelievers will finally bow to you like before, and they will do so out of fear and dedication to the Dark Gods, I guarantee it."
Eliphas knew he had to make a choice now. On one hand, agreeing with Bill to the deal with the promise of the Dark Gods favor was tempting, knowing Bill's reputation to hold up to his end of the bargain with great rewards and how powerful Bill can be, even if Eliphas didn't want to admit it. The possibility of earning his former glory back and ascension as a higher being, since that is all he has ever wanted to do for so long, also tempted Eliphas. Bill also made very good points about how Abaddon would blame him for his failure and avoid the punishment that he deserves, he never liked Abaddon from the very start anyways.
But on the other hand, Eliphas also knew that Bill was a master deceiver and trickster, knowing that Bill could turn on him in the blink of an eye as soon as he agreed to his demands. Eliphas would also have to take orders from Bill which would greatly displease Eliphas since he would have to be his puppet for the duration, and Bill tends to be unpredictable due to his insanity. Not to mention the fact that doing this would mean angering Abaddon, who would most likely try to hunt down Eliphas for treachery, and Eliphas wasn't sure exactly how powerful Bill is since Bill tends to stay away from powerful beings of Chaos.
"So what you say, deal?" Said Bill as he extended his flaming hand again.
The temptation was great, but Eliphas already knew what to do as he grinned evilly.
"Deal."
P.S.: I always encourage reviews for my stories so please do so and read and review my other stories if you want as well.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravity Falls or Warhammer 40K, they belong to their respective owners.