Okay so this story is the result of my friend being given an English assignment where she had to write a "next chapter" for a book. She asked for help and this is what I wrote for her. It might be bad, terrible even. AN: all rights to these characters belong to the wonderful, soul crushing John Green.
Months had passed and the fluid in my lungs needed to be drained almost weekly now, the end was nigh. Dad wouldn't stop crying every time we were in the same room, mum put a stop to her studying even though I'd told her to continue, and they'll need something to move on with when I'm gone. I hadn't seen Isaac since Lidewij had emailed those missing pages from the notebook. I refused to attend Patrick's support group for the cancer kids, I was dying and that was that; there was no hope.
I was in hospital again, listening to the dragon-like whirring sounds that the BiPAP machine made, it was almost doing all the breathing for me now because lets face it; my lungs were useless. Dad was at work and I was grateful, Mum had only just stepped out of the room for one of those cheap hospital coffees. She'd stayed overnight curled up in the uncomfortable armchair. That woman was amazing. She bustled back into the room, coffee-less and I didn't ask; she couldn't bare to leave the church car park when I went to our meetings in the heart of Jesus so it was like torture to suggest she leave my bedside for five minutes while I lay dying in a hospital bed. An Imperial Affliction lay upside down on the table next to the phone. I hadn't read it all the way through since Augustus had died. Everything in that book reminded me of him. But perhaps, if I were lucky I wouldn't have to hurt for much longer. The doctors failed to keep their voices hushed enough and I almost always heard every word they said. I was a goner and it was only a matter of days; they didn't want to send me home again and after relentless arguing, my mother had finally sided with them.
I kept my eyes closed most of the time for I could not stand to look my parents in the eye. They knew and so did I. Dad came in after work as usual, he brought mum dinner and she stepped out of the room for ten minutes while dad sat with me.
"You're going to make it out of this, kiddo." He took my hand tracing circles with his thumb.
"We all know it's a matter of days dad, maybe hours." My voice was dry and hoarse.
"Don't talk like that Hazel, you're a fighter you've made it this far. We'll make it through together alright?" He was crying again as he spoke but I couldn't lie to him, I was dying and it wasn't going to be long now.
"Dad," I choked. "Daddy, lay me to rest next to Gus, please." There was a sob at the door, my mother had returned and then we were all crying.
Isaac visited the next day and our parents left us to talk; we sat in awkward silence with the noise of the BiPAP filling the room.
"Man thank god nobody breathes like that for real" Isaac broke the silence, grinning.
"It won't be like this for long, the doctors won't say it but I don't have much time left on the clock." His grin faded and I was glad he couldn't see me.
We spend the next half an hour reminiscing, taking in turns to share a story about Gus, which was neither comforting nor heart wrenching. Continuing on until Doctor Maria stopped by followed by my parents and Isaac's mum who wished me well before leading her son away.
"Hazel, how do you feel today?" Maria asked, and I decided I wasn't going to sugar-coat anymore. I'm not better and I'm not doing okay.
"Today? I feel like death is getting that little bit closer." Mum gasped, Dad sobbed but Doctor Maria looked taken aback.
"Oh well uh, one of the nurses will be in to check your vitals and then I'm going to whisk you away for some more tests." Doctor Maria was usually the best part of my day but she was overly peppy today and it kind of made me want to strangle someone.
"How do you test the vitals of some one that can't even use her lungs on her own?" Mum reprimanded me and tried to force me to apologise but I didn't.
It took four more days for me to have Doctor Maria in the room without my parents so I could ask her the only question I wanted an answer to without worrying about my parents overhearing.
"Maria, how long do you suppose I have left? I've heard what the doctor's say, I know I'm a lost cause." I took the nasal cannula off before asking the question but I had to put it on again almost instantly, stupid lungs.
"Oh Hazel, you mustn't think like that positivity is key!"
"Positivity isn't going to fix me and it isn't going to bring Gus back, I know I'm going to die I just want to know how long I have left."
"Oh sweet, I'm sorry about your friend but I'm afraid I- we, can't answer that."
"Being sorry won't bring him back." I rolled over and I heard her footsteps retreat.
Those next three days were the hardest of my life, literally. Dad had taken the rest of the week off work to be with us and the two of them took it in turns occupying that awkwardly uncomfortable arm chair by my bedside. Isaac hadn't stopped by again and I still hadn't heard from Kaitlyn since she'd called not long after Gus's funeral. Patrick had stopped by but I was too busy vomiting up my last meal to chat.
Both parents were at my bedside tonight. I'd been asleep almost all day and I wasn't any less tired now; I could feel myself fading, whatever candle light I had burning inside me was now reaching the end of the wick. I could practically feel the flame flicker.
"Hazel, keep those eyes open, fight hard baby!" Mum was in tears again, gripping my hand with all the strength she could muster. "Hazel Grace Lancaster don't you dare give up!"
"Sweets, just hold on for that little bit longer!" Dad urged, "We love you Haze, we love you so much and we're so, so proud of you sweet pea." His stubble prickled at my forehead as he kissed my forehead.
"Please, don't divorce; you promised. I love you." The pair smiled through their tears but the streams didn't stop.
"Hazel, it's not time; you're not finished here, baby fight!" I coughed and spluttered, pain rocketed through my body and I curled in on myself.
"Oh baby, baby we love-"
I didn't remember writing this story until my friend had showed it to me but here it is for all of the internet to see, eep! Hope you've (kind of) enjoyed the read (okay not really, enjoyment isn't an emotion that you should feel after this). drop us a review! thank you for reading. xx